Conference moira::parenting

    
    When my sister was born, my mom was told she couldn't nurse because she
    had a lump in one breast and the didn't know what it was.  By they time
    they determined that it was only a swollen milk gland, she was told
    she'd dried up.

    When I was born (2nd baby) she demanded to be allowed to breastfeed. 
    But the nurses would only bring me once every two hours and after a few
    minutes would announce I wasn't getting anything and take me away.  My
    mom says there was one older nurse on duty at night who was helpful and
    did her best, but it wasn't enough and I was brought home on formula.

    When my oldest brother born 1946 my mother told she could only bath
    him in baby oil for the first month. Anything else was suppose to 
    damage his skin. He must of been really greasey.

    
       After my older sister Gloria was born my mother was told not
    to have anymore children because it could kill her. She had a lot
    of breech births and very hard labor.
    
       Well, after Gloria she had Rose (me) , Nancy, Dolly, Micheal, and 
    Cindy. After Cindy they gave her a hysterectomy.
    
       Rosie

	Not my mom, but...

	A friend of mine told me that when her mother was expecting
	twins, the doctor didn't tell her.

	She already had 7 kids, and he thought the news would be
	too stressful!

	Karen

    Then there were the mothers who did want to breast feed who had to
    drink a beer a day to increase milk production - boy was I born in the
    wrong time ;^)

    
    My mother was told that NO ONE should handle a baby without first
    washing thoroughly with antiseptic, and wearing a face mask the whole
    time.  The baby should be kept in a separate (sterile) room, away from
    every one/thing else, and in complete silence.  In the winter, the baby
    should NEVER be allowed outside (from ~Sept - June), and not out more
    than a few hours a day, at that.  A sniffle was a definite COLD, and
    required immediate bedrest, and all playthings should be soft and
    cuddly and nonthreatening.  Oh - and covered head to toe whenoutside,
    so they didn't get a sunburn.  To this day, she believes in all that.
    
    Imagine her distress with my three boys, who routinely were given their
    pacifier back after it dropped on the floor (sometimes I'd lick it off
    to 'clean' it), allowed to play with animals, sharp toys and anything
    else they came across (within reason, of course), who slept while I
    vacuumed in their rooms, went outside most of winter without a hat, and
    summers shirtless.  And whose sniffles are just allergies, or sometimes
    a cold that they'd rather "tough out" than anything else!
    
    Time can cause amazing changes!  And we all survived!!
    

    
    I know my mother was told it was "okay" to put babies on 
    their stomachs to sleep.
    
    When I had Patrick, it was a major "no no" to put him 
    to sleep on his tummy, but rather put him on his back
    or side.
    
    Kristin
    

    
    FYI the current information is that babies should be put on
    the back or side to sleep.  Researchers have shown that 
    putting babies on their stomach is a 'common denominator' in
    SIDS deaths.  Possibly, the babies suffocated due to not being
    able to raise their heads and having turned their faces onto the
    mattress.
    
    I always kept Nathan on his side, this way we avoided the suffocation
    risk and the possiblity of inhaling their own spit-up and 'drowning'.
    Also, they have new devices that you can buy that would help the
    baby stay on their side when sleeping and not be able to roll over
    to back or front.
    
    pam

    
    FYI 
    
    Another 'common denominator' relating to SIDS is smoking
    by the mother during and after pregnancy.
    
    My mother was 'surprised' when she heard the nurse tell
    me not to put him on his tummy - that's how she always 
    put the three of us down.  
    
    I also had one of those devices you mention for helping 
    babies to sleep on their side, it worked well until he 
    grew out of the bassinet (at about a month old).
    
    Occasionally I would put Patrick to sleep on his tummy,
    and he slept better than if he were on his back...
      

    
    Well, I'm sure I'll be the minority, but after having Chris and the
    "*DON'T* let him sleep on his back!!" for a kid that ONLY wanted to
    sleep on his back .... at this point, I'd let the baby decide what they
    like better.  He was always so peaceful if he fell asleep laying in my
    arms, but as soon as I went to lay him on his stomach/side he'd be
    miserable.  And to this day he'd much rather sleep on his back than any
    other position.  Jason's the opposite - a true stomach-sleeper.  And
    Jonathan either sleeps on his side, or on his belly with his butt WAY
    up in the air.
    
    Have you ever seen a kid that was laying on their back, get sick??  I'm
    convinced it'd be impossible for them to "sleep" through it, and
    Jonathan (who used to spit up constantly), was always very quick at
    turning his head and swallowing.
    
    BTW - I believe that the SIDS and stomach thing was more related to
    "fluffy" covers, that the baby more or less suffocated (created a
    pocket in the covers, and continuously breathed in the same air they
    exhaled, and eventually were getting no oxygen).  The article I saw,
    said to be sure that the covers fit the mattress tightly, and not to
    leave stuff that they'd get their face "into".   YMMV.

    I know Angeline was determined to sleep on her back no matter what.
    I had one of those side wedges, but she'd just push against it until
    she was on her back.  Now, on the back is ok unless you have a spitty
    baby, which I had.   Luckily I'm a light sleeper because there were
    two different times she was like a fountain, lying on her back choking.
    Oh yeah, I fell right back to sleep after that!  ;-}
    
    I expect the sleeping position debate will go on forever.  
    
    						cj *->
    
    							

    I never really realized that doctors were telling parents to put their
    babies on their stomach (during the 70's and 80's maybe) since my
    mother would never put my nieces or nephew on their back.  I guess her
    mother lost a child and contributed it to suffocating while sleeping on
    his stomach.  It wasn't until a few years ago when I was with a friend
    helping him take care of his niece and put her on her back to sleep
    that I realized that people were actually told to put babies on their
    stomachs to sleep.  He said she could spit-up and choke, and I of
    course said she could also suffocate!
    
    Guess mom knew what she was talking about!
    
    For what it's worth, Aaron hates being on his stomach.  I'd put him on
    his side, prop him that way, he'd always end up on his back.  Even at a
    week or two old I'd find him on his back completely stretched out, arms
    way over his head and legs apart, bent at the knees with his feet
    almost touching.
    
    sandy

    Gee - wonder what they'd tell me -- my son [11.5 yrs] sleeps on his
    tummy, _under_ at least 1 pillow, sometimes 2!  I just have to make
    sure that they're not down pillows, altho when he's been at other's
    houses he still come out ok.
    
    BTW, both my kids were stomach-sleepers -- they both start out this way
    now but usually end up on their backs.  Me too, for that matter!
    
    sandy
    

My 2 year old always hated being on his stomach, for sleeping or anything.
He only crawled about 2 weeks before walking due to that.  He's gotten over
that.  He thinks he's a cat now and crawls more than he did as an infant!

Back to .0, my mom wasn't told something significant.  She wanted natural
childbirth and was put out anyways.  No explanation, nor did she pursue it.
(1957...)  My wife's mom was told she couldn't gain more than 15 lbs the
whole pregnancy.  She was quite morning sick, and as we found out, eating
is the only partial cure my wife had, so this seems pretty cruel to tell my
mother-in-law in hindsight...

Charlie

    When I was pregnant the first time (age 19, 5'6", 120 lbs) I was told
    to gain 40 pounds!  I said no way, I'll gain 20.  The doctor said
    that's OK, she was just trying to counter a recent trend towards women
    thinking they should not gain anything.  I really didn't try to gain or
    not and I just happened to gain 20.  I also gained 20 for my other two
    prgnancies.  My problem is I never lost any between the pregnancies!

    My mother was told that if she gained anymore than 14 lbs she would be
    put on a diet.  Isn't it amazing that they wouldn't allow them to put
    on very much weight, yet it was ok if they smoked or drank throughout
    the pregnancy?
    
    sandy

    	It's wild the stories you hear about preganancy and birth. I am 21
    years old, my son is 1 1/2 years old. I was able to have him in my room
    for 3 days straight(I had C-section). I was allowed to get up and walk
    with him and nurse him whenever he was hungry. I can't image now if
    they changed it all to the way it used to be...I'd be afraid to have
    another child......I wonder why they never questioned how the Indians
    gave birth to healthy babies...and they just squatted right down in the
    grass and did the rest for themselves...natural instinct. 
    	I only gained 32 pounds and lost 34 to this day. I must add that
    pregnancy is a wonderful experience.
    				Katy

    Lolita (21) was born during the starve the mommies era, although not
    as badly as they did my mom.  The Dr wanted at most a 20 lb weight gain
    for me, my mom was restricted to 14 lbs in 1956, 58, and 60.  Anything
    more and they put you on diet pills (speed), diuretics and restricted
    your food intake to avoid toxemia.  (A theory totally discredited by
    Tom Brewer)  It also resulted in lower birth-weight babies which some
    Dr's felt was a good idea, as modern women couldn't "handle" anything
    larger than 8 1/2 pounds.  
    
    meg

    My son's pediatrician said it is perfectly fine to place the baby on
    his stomache. I started out placing him on his side-he hated it. Doc
    explained that the reason stomache sleeping was discouraged was that
    SIDS may appear if the bedding was too fluffy, or like the people in
    Britian- they use a lamb skin for the baby to lie on. If the sheet
    is tight and matress firm, no problem. He can now change to any
    position at all, and he always goes to his stomache.

    My grandmother,  who once boasted a 'butterfly waist', was cynched for
    the first 4 months of pregnancy until it became indecent for her to be
    seen in public. She was made to spend the final cple months in a chair
    in low light with an afgan across her lap. Knowing my spit-fire
    grandmother, pregnancy must have been excruciating.  
    Babies weren't taken out until they were Christened.....
    Also, children were to be seen and not heard.
    
    I think of how I ran around, cleaned house, waddled proudy in public,
    and took my son grocery shopping on a rainy March night (ran out of
    diapers and had cabin fever). The pedi said to take him out and expose
    him......
    Our son is encouraged to speak.He dominates the dinner table most
    nights and expresses his will and wishes whenever he can. My
    Gran's probably up there clicking her tongue at me right now.
    Amazing how things change over time.
    
                   

    My mom was told (1953 and 1959 births) to have a glass of dry white
    wine at night to relax herself.  She was on diet pills through her entire
    pregnancy with me, and actually LOST 60 lbs!  And people wonder why I'm
    a little hyper...
    
    Her doctor, of course, had no information at that time which 
    would have lead him to tell her to stop smoking, so she did
    not (but did cut back to no more than 4-5 a day...).  She was told,
    like many others, that the best teething medicine was to rub some
    whiskey or other hard liquor on the baby's gums.  She was practically
    *forced* to bottle feed, as breast feeding was considered "unhealthy"
    at that time (I forget why...).
    
    Let's stop and think what strange and wonderful things will be
    different when our little ones are having little ones of their own...!
    
    M.
    

    re .21
    
    Dr's couldn't measure how much milk a baby got when being breast-fed,
    and it bothered them, is all I can figure.  They also tried to point
    out the "deficiencies" that breast milk has.  (Low vitamin d, iron, and
    c counts)  there are now studies that show that there is plenty of d,
    and iron  in breast milk and probably more than enough vitamin c for
    most infants.  
    
    meg

    Also, it seems to me that it is sometimes thought that if it is natural, 
    it isn't as good as what is created in the lab.  The power of science
    and all that...
    
    Of course, that's just my point of view.
    
    sandy