Conference moira::parenting

    
    re .0
    
    I understand what you are saying about the weight gain. I didn't
    like being pregnant at all. Somebody loved it and I wished I could 
    mail-order babies. Babies are wonderful, but pregnancies are tedious,
    and scary for the first time. In order to cope with the body
    change, diet change, life style chnage and emotional ups and
    downs, I told myself that I was renting out my body as an incubator
    for 10 months. I decided to write off the 10 months as a duty ;-)
    and not to worry about my body shape during that time. Whatever was
    going to happen would happen and I couldn't stop it. The saving
    grace was that I looked around and saw a lot of beautiful women
    with older kids and trusted that my body would get back to normal
    after the pregnancy. And it did, after each of the two babies.
    It also helped to focus on other things, I put in a whole new
    veggie garden during my first pregnancy. With the second pregnancy,
    I was too busy with the first kid to even look in the mirror ;-).
    
    I hate to say this because I am sure you've heard plenty, but it
    is true, your weight will get back to normal after the baby is
    born or after you're done nursing. It is hard to imagine now,
    it will. Keep busy and good luck. 
    
    
    
    Eva

    It's funny.  I always thought I would feel that exact same way
    when I became prenant.  I've had quite a weight problem for
    the past few years and figured I would just be a baloon when
    I got prenant and be fat the rest of my life.  Looking at other
    women that looked great after pregnancy only confirmed my fears
    I would look horrible.
    
    You know what, I LOVED BEING PREGNANT!  I loved it!  I had fears
    and anxieties the first few months because of a previous loss,
    but at the end of my fifth month I just told myself this was what
    I wanted all my life and to enjoy while I can.  I loved the big
    belly.  You know, it's the first time in ages I could go out in
    a bathing suit and not feel self-concious.  I was huge and deserved
    to be!  
    
    But, with not drinking alcohol, and eating right, I was steadily
    losing weight as I was pregnant.  Perhaps you'll do the same!  When
    I went back after six weeks after delivering, I had lost 35 pounds!
    Now with the prenancy I had only gained 18 pounds, so being pregnant
    helped me lose 17 lbs!  :-) :-)  So maybe you will too! (If you need
    to, I don't know.  You seem quite concerned about your weight).
    
    I say, let the time for that come...enjoy this very special gift!
    I even kept saying I didn't want it to end!  At the beginning of
    my ninth month I was hoping it would last longer.  Be careful what
    you wish for!  I was two weeks late and Angeline came out all dried
    up and flaky from being in the water too long!
    
    Try to enjoy this time, it can be joyous, and if people are telling
    you you look great, BELIEVE THEM!  I bet you do!
    
    						cj *->

From my limited experience with pregnant women, its normal to worry about
the body changes and weight gain.  Its not normal to obcess about it.
We had a picture from the 8th month that my wife saw after giving birth.
"Why didn't you tell me?!"  Well, some male freinds warned me that this
was a touchy area!  8-)  Besides, you're SUPPOSED to gain weight!

Keep in mind that the process is temporary.  After birth, you can diet.
Before birth, its not only normal, but its necessary to gain weight.

Maybe you can find some positive things to help your frame of mind.  Mild
exercise (walking, or whatever the doctor allows) is not only distracting
but gives you something to do, can help relax you, and make you feel like
you're doing something to offset the gains.

Charlie

    I also disliked being pregnant in my first pregnancy, and disliked
    getting so big.  I felt conspicuous, and didn't enjoy all the
    discomforts one feels on being pregnant.  I didn't feel as weepy as you
    are describing, and don't know what to tell you about that.  But you
    don't have to love being pregnant to love your baby afterwards!  Nor to
    have a healthy baby.  Eating right makes a big difference.  I think it
    helped me that someone I knew loaned me some absolutely beautiful
    clothes, and that helped me with body image.  Continuing the exercise
    regimens I had been doing before pregnancy also helped.
    
    But our culture really emphasizes body size, and if anyone makes you
    uncomfortable with questions like "how much have you gained?" then
    remember -- you don't have to answer that question!  If people start
    talking about others who have ballooned to huge size (perhaps in a
    mistaken attempt to make you feel good), then you can try to ignore it. 
    They mean well, but this isn't a race over who can gain most/least
    during pregnancy.  Everyone's body is different, and don't worry about
    it.  You are doing great as long as you eat healthily and exercise as
    much as you feel is right!
    
    I'm pregnant for a second time now, and feel rather differently than I
    did the first time.  I again don't enjoy all the discomforts of
    pregnancy (and I must say that they are greater than the first time!),
    but somehow I know better that they are temporary -- for example, I
    nursed my first, and was back in normal clothes by the time I went back
    to work when my daughter was 4 months.  This time I am also carrying
    twins, and I'm much more concerned with them getting enough nourishment
    than with how much weight I gain.  My doctor certainly makes a big deal
    if I ever lose any weight (I had a bad cold for a while), and never
    says anything about the gains, and I appreciate that.  My due date is
    in 2 and a half weeks (April 8) and I'm pretty excited now!  In fact, I
    *want* to gain weight now, because I've seen twins who are so small and
    heard about how twins are usually smaller babies.  That is a big switch
    from my feelings in my first pregnancy.
    
    But I've also been home a lot in this pregnancy, and I think that makes
    a difference in body image.  I've noticed that when I go out and see
    people they always look at my belly (or even talk about it), and I do
    feel self conscious about it.  You can just try to make yourself as
    immune as you can from people's reactions and comments.  I can only
    suggest remembering "I'm doing what I think is right; and it isn't any
    of their business" as a way to do this.  I hope that you find some
    effective way of not letting yourself feel affected by this.  Of
    course, I'm bigger than with a single baby, but I think I am not quite
    as big as some people get with twins -- through no virtue of my own,
    just the way my body is.  My doctor certainly doesn't think I look big
    enough to be holding the sizes of babies estimated by ultrasound. 
    We'll see their actual sizes soon enough.
    
    I hope that you find something or someone who will help you to feel
    better soon!
    
    Good luck!
    Beryl

I didn't enjoy being pregnant either. I liked the attention and excitement about
the unknown baby, but apart from that I couldn't wait for it to be over.

I used being pregnant as an excuse to eat anything I fancied - chocolate and
ice lollies mainly, but I knew a few other people who were pregnant and just 
as huge as me, so I didn't feel too bad.

Do you know any other women you can compare bumps with, it might make you feel 
better.
You could also treat yourself to some new clothes, I know it's not sensible
to spend the money on clothes you can't wear for long but if it makes you feel
better, it's worth it ! (New clothes and a new hairdo usually make me feel 
good anyway). Some of the maternity clothes are pretty awful so it may take
you a while to find something.

I did feel guilty about not enjoying the pregnancy more as I knew a few people 
who wanted theirs to go on for ever.
I also remember having lots of emotional ups and downs, tears and all. And 
constantly worrying about what was affecting the baby. 

I don't know the medical opinion but I don't think babies can
be so sensitive to our every emotion - who can possibly be happy for a whole 
9 months ! 

Heather

    Well I must admit I LOVE being pregnant, the miracle of it all, the new
    changes, movements, anticipation, and of course the attention!
    
    I don't worry too much about the weight gain, I try to eat healthy but
    I'm not fanatic about it, I know my body and I know I can get back into
    my pre-pregnancy shape afterwards through exercise.  I also have kept up
    my exercise, just at a moderate level, because I teach aerobics 3 times
    per week.  I've bought a few new clothes to make me feel better about the
    way I look too.  People say I look great, but there are always going to
    be a few inconsiderate people who don't think before they speak, so I
    just smile and tell them "it's not up for discussion" or "see ya later"!
    I also have a VERY supportive husband who always makes me feel special
    and I know that helps alot at a time like this when you are changing
    physically and emotionally.
    
    Keep your eyes focused on the goal of a healthy baby and try not to
    focus on the things that make you uncomfortable now because it will be
    worth it!  Try to do something special for yourself everyday even if
    it's just a 20 minute walk to clear your mind and breathe some fresh
    spring air!
    
    Good luck,
    Dawn

	With my second pregnancy, hormones hit me big time in
	my seventh month.  I had never experienced any type
	of PMS or other hormonal changes (that anyone dared tell
	me about ;-) ), and could not believe the feeling of helplessness
	over my own emotions.

	That could tie into your current feelings.

	Being heavy most of my life, I wasn't so bothered by it
	while pregnant (finally having a *reason* for the extra weight).

	However, I was HUGE.  I swear I think I've only seen one person
	that wasn't related to me (we're all short and all carried big!)
	that was as big.  I had people staring at my belly all the time,
	wondering if I might deliver on the spot, even when I had months
	to go.  I felt like wearing a little sign "I've really truly only
	gained XX pounds, I just carry this way".  However, since for the
	most part I enjoyed being pregnant, it didn't bother me too too
	badly.

	Try to focus on the reason you are going through this.  A few
	more months, and you'll have your little baby, and you'll rub
	your belly and think, "I'm gonna miss you kicking me, little one!"

	Karen

    RE.7
    
    Karen, 
    
    You are so right!  It's been six months and I still miss 
    sometimes the feeling of my baby moving inside me.  There
    is nothing like it in this world!
    					cj *->

    re:.0
    
    Exactly what I went through both pregnancies, 9mos. nausea/morning
    sickness, I was HUUUGE, truly hated pregnancy.
    
    First baby 10lbs, 23", doctors in delivery thought she was 11 lbs in
    the room; second baby 9lbs (taken 2 weeks early) so likely would have
    been as big.
    
    Few thoughts:
    - Be careful who you complain to, I learned the hard way, often the
    response is "how can you say that, I LOVED being pregnant"
    - Many of my friends had a great first pregnancy, didn't understand,
    well I laughed last o:) when their second and third pregnancies were 
    tough, comments were to the effect of now I understand...ha ha
    - I look at pregnancy as a means to an end. period.
    
    - Both my babies are mellow, healthy, no signs of any effects of
    my attitude toward pregnancy.
    
    Good luck.  I too am high on the weight side, gained 42 lbs my first
    pregnancy and 40 lbs the second, two weeks after birth I was in my
    jeans, and 2 lbs less than pre-pregnancy weight, so you won't 
    necessarily gain weight permanently, your stomach will be stretched
    but lots of situps work.
    
    Plus, once you have that baby in your arms, it's GREAT!!!
    
    By the way, I had a rough pregnancy, rougher labor then Csection,
    complications later, etc.  Not the rosy picture painted by Lamaze,
    that's for sure.  The world kept saying, oh you'll forget.  What a
    bunch of baloney, I never did, went for baby#2 anyway, that pregnancy
    was different still hated every minute.
    
    My daughters are miracles, I'd do it again, put in my time
    
    IN A HEARTBEAT.

    Is it possible that you need to have someone help you monitor
    your iron level?  When you're pregnant it should be watched 
    closely.  With my third pregnancy my mid-wife stayed ON-TOP of
    the vitamins I took (3-4 pills, 3-4 times a day).  My third
    pregnancy was the toughest physically (nausea) and emotionally
    (stressed with work and kids/homelife).  However, there were 
    no hormonal change related problems after the delivery as there
    had been for the first two.  I had better color (non-anemic) and
    didn't feel tired all the time.  I wished I had done that for
    the first two.  
    
    I feel like Dear Abby, doesn't she always say check out the
    physical reasons before the other things?

    Boy - I know EXACTLY how .0 feels.
    
    I absolutely HATED being pregnant - however, I did it 3 times so it was
    obviously worth it.  Some people love it and some people hate it.  I
    personally don't see how anyone could love gaining weight weekly (I
    gained about 45 lbs with the first 2 and 35 with the last), being an
    emotional wreck, wearing those AWFUL looking maternity clothes, looking
    like a walking balloon for about 4 months, hearing EVERYBODY's
    unsolicited opinion of the entire pregnancy and birthing process,
    answering the never-ending parade of questions on "how do you feel",
    "is it a boy or a girl", "is it your first", "how much weight have you
    gained", "when's it due", "are you going back to work", etc., etc.,
    
    But - even with all that "torture", I did it more than once and the
    results are WELL WORTH! the "experience".  I actually hated being
    pregnant a LOT more than going through the actual delivery (the end was
    finally here and I got my beautiful baby!).  I have no good excuse for
    hating it so much - I had very easy pregnancies.  I think I just
    disliked not having total control over my body - I couldn't eat and
    drink anything I wanted nor take medications when I need them.  I also
    hated the weight gain.
    
    The stress had no lasting effect on my children.  I have 3 happy
    healthy individuals whom I love dearly.  They were most definitely
    worth it but I never felt guilty about not liking pregnancy.  I think
    this is another "guilt" thing that society does to us.  Women are
    somehow supposed to "like" being pregnant.  Not this woman.  Some women
    do and that's great, but everyone's different.  Just concentrate on the
    end result - that always made me smile!

    
    Being a parent changes your outlook...you don't know that yet but just 
    wait...Right now you are in a transition and it is uncomfortable. you
    are giving up a lot of things without yet having that "thing" that will
    make up for the loss. 
    
    What can be harder than giving up control of your body ? Of course you 
    hate it. This isn't like giving up a night's sleep to make sure the baby 
    you love is ok. It isn't like giving up going to the exercise club to
    be there to rock that sweetheart to bed. It isn't like giving up
    Saturday morning tennis to teach your little one to swim. It isn't like
    giving up mall shopping so you can go to the toy store. It isn't like
    trading good sex for a morning hug from a toddler.
    
    This is practice...smile and enjoy it. It gets better and it is worth
    it. :-).

    I'm really getting a kick out of this note! :-)
    
    Isn't it funny how opposite the feelings are!  As I said I loved
    being pregnant.  Now it wasn't the easiest prenancy, for sure, but
    somehow it was all worth it as it was going on.  I didn't need to
    wait for an end result.  I LOVED the questions and people sharing
    the experience with me!  Even total strangers in stores would say
    something and I'd just beam.  I almost miss the attention.  I 
    found men to be the cutest.  A lot of them really are in awe of a
    pregnant woman.  I didn't mind the tummy touching and welcomed
    any jokes, cracked quite a few myself.
    
    But again, I'm in my mid-30's.  I wanted this "forever" and relished
    every minute.   All the pictures of me pregnant show me pulling my
    clothes tight so my belly would be as prominent as possible.  And
    I did manage to find some pretty good clothes, but I have to agree
    with most of you - the majority of them are awful.
    
    I particularly like a t-shirt that was lent to me.  It had the
    insignia and looked like a B.U.M. equipment shirt but said
    M.U.M equipment.  :-)
    
    Well, chin up! (before it's resting on your belly :-) )
    
    							cj *->

    
    cj,
    
    	For me, the life style change made me really dislike the 
    pregnancies. I had to put running, tennis, volleyball and skiing 
    on hold. I couldn't go out on Saturday nights, couldn't drink
    and didn't want to inhale second hand smoke. I had a hard time
    working on my garden towards the end, I just hated watching my
    flowers and veggies go neglected. So, a lot of things I, as
    well as my husband, enjoy doing, I couldn't do while I was big. 
    I didn't have much of a life while I was pregnant. 
    
    	I am sure other women with hobbies that they can continue
    to enjoy would not mind the change as much.
    
    
    Eva  

    re. tummy touching & the unceasing questions
    
    If I maintain my current level of self-control over the next 2.5
    months, I believe that a National Recognition Award will be in order
    [not that I'm holding my breath or anything].
    
    I have not yet amputated the hand of any individual who has had the
    bald-faced audacity to touch my belly uninvited or without permission.
    I make this concession more because I realise that to do so would
    constitute and illegal act with serious implications to my future
    well-being rather than out of any spirit of understanding or
    indulgence.
    
    I love talking about my pregnancy and I'm sinerely interested in
    others' experiences. However, I hate, hate, hate! it when people make
    public property of my private life by asking questions about bodily
    fluids, my sex life, my family planning habits, etc.
    
    "Is this your first?" is OK; "How many do you want?" is right out.
    "Do you know what it is?" is peachy; "Are you going to try again for
      <whatever I'm not having>?" is tooooo tacky.
    "Do you plan to breast feed?" isn't really appropriate coming from the
      person replacing the battery in my watch; and ...
    
    Near the top of the list of persons who should be thankful that they
    live more than 500 miles from my home or work are my sister and one of
    my dearest friends. Both of these women know me well enough to know
    that "Is it Rick's?" [Rick is my husband] is not a question I would
    even entertain ... yet asked it anyway. [that there are factors
    involved that might cause people to be curious has absolutely _nothing_
    to do with the fact that it just isn't a question that one should be
    asked. Call me old fashioned, but I truly believe that the hows and
    wherefores of getting pregnant are between the pregnant woman, her
    partner and those they choose to involve]
    
      Annie

    re.15
    
    I really do understand, and sympathize with you, but I hope you 
    don't mind that your note really made me laugh!  Your descriptions
    were really funny.  Probably the only time I got uncomfortable 
    was when someone suddenly bent over and put their ear to my stomach
    to "hear" the baby, like - in front of a bunch of people.  That was
    pretty embarassing.  I had to explain she couldn't hear it and please
    stand up, like , NOW.
    
    re. 14
    
    I was an avid racquetball player, and had to stop due to spotting.
    Again, because of the previous loss - I was more than happy to do
    nothing.  I can definitely understand your missing the things you
    love the most though.  I had a whole bonsai collection become a
    victim of my new priorities.  It's now down to only one tree.  
    Funny, that is the only thing I do feel bad about.  I used to get
    great enjoyment and relaxation grooming my trees, so I do feel bad
    I lost them.  And I only lost them by being distracted, not because
    I couldn't physically care for them.  So that was really my fault.
    Other than that, I don't miss much.
    
    Because my daughter has taken so much of my time, I'm afraid my
    racquetball is on hold.  We go hang out at any tournaments that are
    around locally and watch and that so far has satisfed me.  I only
    miss playing a little bit.  When I was pregnant, and now, I set
    in my mind that I had a good ten years of enjoying my sport and
    now my time has to go elsewhere for however long it takes.  
    
    I hope noone here thinks I am holding them in judgement for their
    feelings.  As I've said, I thought I would be the exact same way.
    I amazed myself every day.  I was a person I didn't know, but I 
    sure did like having around :-). ("a-round" ha, ha! pardon the
    sick pun 8-} ).
    					cj *->
    
    				

    re .0
    I absolutely HATED being pregnant.  All 9 months of it.  I cannot
    think of one time I ever thought of liking it.  Okay, one, when I
    felt my baby move.  That was awesome.  But the rest was a nightmare.
    The only thing I can say it, you're more than halfway there, it is
    only temporary, and, there is NOTHING in the world that can compare
    to holding your own little baby in your arms.  No, you do not forget
    (pregnancy, labor, delivery), but, when you have that little baby,
    it makes it worth it.  I'm not saying I'd run out and do it again
    mind you, maybe never, but, it was worth it (my son's 5 months old
    next week).  
    I was extremely emotional.  The tiniest littlest thing would set me 
    off.  I thought the sight of my pregnant body was totally disgusting.  
    It's normal to be emotional.  All those little hormones are running 
    wild in there!  And your body does go back to 'normal' somewhat.
    A month after my delivery I was 25 pounds lighter than before I got
    pregnant (I am not a small person by any means).
    I hated worrying about something going wrong with the baby.
    I hated not being able to do the things I'm used to doing, I couldn't
    even help out in the garden last summer, I'd either be too hot or
    too uncomfortable.   Couldn't go out on the weekend because I'd be
    too tired or too worried about breathing second hand smoke.  And
    that's after I got through the 5 months of being nauseaus at night!
    I got sick of the comments, the questions, the 'looks', the ADVISE!
    For some reason people (both men and women!) who have had a baby 
    feel inclined to give advise to pregnant women.
    But, it's only 9 months.  At the time it seems like a lifetime.
    But, it really is JUST 9 months.    
                          

    I personally didn't mind being pregnant, I was looking forward to the
    end result, even though I was sick the first 4 months with morning
    sickness, actually all day sickness. 
    
    One way I coped with the moodiness was to take an exercise class.  It
    was an all-body class that worked the cardiovascular as well as the
    muscles with weights.  I did this right until I had 4 weeks left
    in the pregnancy.  I then switched to Yoga.  This really helped to fend
    off the upset feelings, I could melt into my world and forget the awful
    things I was feeling.  
    
    I didn't have a problem with weight so I can't say I understand, but I
    can understand the moodiness.  Good luck. 
    
    Lisa Cozzens

    re.16
    
    Oh, I don't mind if it made you laugh. I _have_ to keep a sense of
    humour ... I know that I'm a small person with [demonstrably] an
    amiable and approachable sort of demeanour. I can see in the mirror
    that my rounded belly tends to make me look a bit more like a
    cuddle-toy with each passing day.
    
    Boundaries are a real challenge for me in my un-bulgy state. Obviously,
    the mass perception that pregnant women are community property doesn't
    thrill me ...
    
    re. in general
    
    Elsewhere I've said that I truly enjoy being pregnant. No, I didn't
    enjoy three months of perpetual nausea and I don't enjoy heartburn,
    leg-cramps, and tiring easily. I lucked out this winter, the ski season
    was a pit so what have I missed? I don't run or skate in winter,
    anyway. And I do a lot of things that pregnancy only slows down.
    Alcohol and caffeine consumption are waayyy down, but I found that even
    before I conceived that I was much more upbeat and happy once I
    decaffeinated myself. I don't avoid second-hand smoke any more than
    before my pregnancy -- that would be a trick as I have been assiduously
    avoiding it for most of my life because of my own allergies to it.
    
    I agree that the maternity clothes available in stores, for the most
    part, leave a bit to be desired. But I took the opportunity to design a
    wardrobe that I truly love and feel good wearing by choosing
    accomodating garments from other sources and designing many of my own.
    I hate confining garments to begin with -- face it, I'm an aging
    little hippy girl with a passion for natural fibers and soft textures.
    As a financial analyst in a Corporate function, you can _bet_ that I'm
    taking advantage to the max! of this opportunity to wear lower heels
    and comfortable non-confining garments.
    
    I have days when I'm an emotional basket case, when the enormity of what
    I've taken on threatens to overwhelm me. I have to fight feelings of
    inadequacy because I am no longer able to spend 12 hours at a stretch
    working over a quilting or tapestry frame -- when I have _so_much_MORE_
    work to be accomplished for my son before and after he is born. Rick
    has had to make lists of my commitments and goals and do
    sanity-intervention sessions forcing me to scale back and eliminate
    work.
    
    But I'm _so_ happy to be pregnant and that the baby is doing well that
    ... well, I love it. I'm no Pollyanna, but I just very happy.
    
      Annie

    
    My turn...
    
    I personally did not hate being pregnant.  I didn't love it either
    and looked forward to the time when I could get my body back.  Luckily,
    I had a very easy pregnancy which is probably why I didn't hate it.
    I didn't like the restrictions of no drinking or smoking either but
    for me, they were the only real restrictions.  I did Step Aerobics
    up until 4 days before Lauren was born.
    
    I loved talking about the baby to anybody who would listen.  I was
    proud of being pregnant and was actually thrilled once strangers 
    started noticing.  No body ever tried to touch me though. They must
    have known they would get socked!  Sure, certain questions ticked me
    off.  The one that got to me the most was "you'll never regain your
    figure again".  Well, I showed them!  I'm back into my size 8
    clothes (actually, I weigh less than when I got pregnant by 2 pounds).
    
    My husband did not find my pregnant body a turn on but that didn't
    bother me since I do not find a pregnant body attractive either.  
    Clothes ... well, that was hard but I managed to find a few things 
    that were not too fluffy or stupid looking.  I actually did quite well
    with JC Penney and Bradlees.
    
    But, as others have said, pregnancy is temporary but the changes of
    a new baby affect your entire life.  At first, life is very restrictive
    but, as time goes on, you'll slowly regain some freedom.  For me,
    as the parent of a 15 month old, I get to do Step aerobics 3 times
    a week if my husband doesn't work late, but that is my only outside 
    activity.  My house hasn't been cleaned in a month and I don't care.
    I never get to do my crafts anymore, and I don't care (well, maybe 
    a little but I'll get my chance again someday).  I spend all my home 
    time taking care of my little girl and I love it.  And once she is in
    bed for the night, I'm usually not far behind her.  Life with a 
    young child is exhausting!  But I love it!
    
    Karen 
    
    

    
    
	I hated being pregnant, I had the morning sickness for a full 6
    	months, which I ended up losing alot of weight.  The constant 
    	vomiting, hot flashes was very hard to cope with.  I guess the 
    	only good thing was that I could wear my normal clothes well into 
    	July and was only in maternity clothes for about 3 months.  Everyone 
    	complemented me on how well I looked.
    
	And here I am again, pregnant once again.  However, this time around, 
    	the morning sickness has ended at the beginning of my 4th month.

	I never had the "crying spells" (except for the fact that I was so 
    	tired of being so sick) until after the baby was born.  I got the 
    	baby blues, but that only lasted a week.

	Its really strange what all those hormones do to you!

	Now my daughter is 17 months and a complete joy, but very tiring!


	It is very well worth it.  Hang in there.


	Joolz

    I am only guessing, but quite possibly what your feeling has less to do
    with the weight gain than the fact that your hormones are changing
    making you more sensitive and more emotional.  I would think it should
    help to read these notes and see that people understand, are
    non-judgemental and that others have experienced something similar. 
    I have always been a size 5/6, I gained 68 pounds with my first son,
    and 75 with my second pregnancy which was twins.  Gaining the weight
    didn't bother me so much as thinking I might not lose it.  And I did,
    both times, I can still wear a size 5/6 sometimes a 7.  Good luck and I
    hope the time goes by fast for you.
      

    
    Today begins my fifth month and I guess I can say that I'm o.k. with my
    pregnancy.  I can't say I'm estatic however.  I miscarried last August,
    had nasuea the first 2.5 months and had problems with spotting/bleeding
    for the first 3.5+ months.  Things are somewhat "normal" now and I
    guess now is when I am starting to enjoy it a little bit.  Now is when
    I am starting to feel the little "flutters" of movement and I keep
    telling myself "Not much longer!"
    
    I find that my hormones have gone into overload on occasion and I can
    cry at the drop of a hat.  My husband just stands there and waits until
    I'm done and then gives me a big hug!  Certain days I feel incredibly
    huge (especially when I compare myself to someone at work who is due
    before me and she's smaller than I am!)  Other days are o.k. and I kind
    of laugh at the shape my body is taking.
    
    My husband things my body is adorable and he likes to watch it grow and
    change.  He's always there with a rub of the belly to say hello to the
    baby, but he is the ONLY one that gets to rub my belly!
    
    I guess my biggest "dilemma" is the fact that I'm going to be a parent
    has finally started to sink in and I have to admit, I'm a little
    scared!     No more taking off on weekends for romantic get-aways.  No
    more sleeping in, just because I feel like it.  Just the overall sense
    of "loss of freedom!"  Now there will be this little person who will
    depend on me every day for the rest of my life.  What if I'm not cut
    out to be a mom?  What if I "goof"?  What if I make mistakes?  I think
    this is what scares me most.  My husband and I thought we were "ready"
    for children but I guess you are never really ready.  
    
    RE: .0
    
    Good luck and remember, you are not alone!
    
    Serena
    

    
    re .23
    
    	Actually, you can pretty much regain your sleeping in when your
    kid gets to be 6 or 7 years old. And he or she will not want to hang
    out with you after adolescence. So, the tunnel isn't that long!
    My daughter is 9 1/2 and I am going through adjustments already.
    My daughter wants to be left alone for to read/study/do projects for
    a few hours at a time. She showers by herself, cleans her own room, 
    fixes her own lunch and does part of her own laundry. All of a sudden, 
    it seems, I don't have to wait on her anymore. Oh boy, what am I going 
    to do with all  this free time ;-) 
    
    
    Eva
     

>> ...Oh boy, what am I going  to do with all  this free time ;-) 
    
Spend it worrying about who she's dating and what time she'll get home?  :)

				cheryl

    
    re .25
    
    >Spend it worrying about who she's dating and what time she'll get
    >home?  :)
    
    	I should start checking out convents and nunneries, they may have
    a waiting list, too ;-)
    
    Eva

    re: .0 and others...
    
    I, too, hated being pregnant the first time.  I was quite ill, nearly all 
    9 months, ate practically nothing, and *still* gained 34 pounds, and
    only 19 of them were "baby".  I'm only 5'2", and I looked like the
    proverbial toothpick that swallowed two olives and a plum (everything
    in front was over-sized!!!).  I was also single at the time, and the
    father (now my husband) was not, ummm...participating, if you know what
    I mean.  I definitely went on the emotional roller-coaster after about
    the 6th month, and was positively miserable with myself.  And I *still*
    hate (and I do mean HATE!!!) people who presume that pregnancy makes me
    public property.  I, too, was polite about it (then), and graciously
    submitted to tummy rubs and advice I didn't want or need.  I got a lot
    of that advice, even from the *men* in my office, because of my single
    status.  Somehow, being a first time mommy without a husband made
    people view me as even less competent than the usual mom-to-be!
    
    What helped me was talking (frankly!) to my mom, with whom I lived at
    the time (and now she lives with me :) ).  Mothers don't cut their
    pregnant daughters much slack on the hormonal stuff.  She basically
    told me that my hormones were in a bunch, and that I'd feel better
    about it after I had the baby.  She also told me that she felt like a
    cow when she was pregant, but that (like most Moms) the end result (my
    brother and I) made the whole experience a bit more worthwhile!
    
    She was right about the hormones, and about the end result.
    
    Now, 7 years later, Number Two is on the way.  I can't say I love being
    pregnant this time, but I can say that I am better prepared for those
    hormonal days and can take them in stride.  I'm not gaining weight
    quite as rapidly this time, but I started out about 15 lbs. heavier
    than I would like to be, so I'm still pretty displeased with my body. 
    But I also know that I'll be back in my itty-bitty size 6 & 8 suits
    before Christmas this year, so I'm not allowing myself to be too
    worried.
    
    All the best wishes to .0!
    
    M.