Conference moira::parenting

   Ok, I'll start this one too... :-)
   
   "You know that you're really a parent when/because..."
   
   ... when you catch yourself swaying back and forth like you were
   holding the baby, but you're standing in line (by yourself) at the
   bank or supermarket... :-)
   
   - Tom
   

    when you have to get out of the car half way down the driveway to move
    the bicycles, toys, basketball, etc. out of the way...
    
    I really feel like a "Dad" (like I imagine my Dad feels) when I'm
    driving home from a wonderful day at the beach and everyone else in the
    car is asleep!
    
    Good note!
    JR

    You know you're really a parent when....
    
    ...a child yells "Mommy", and you turn to see if it's yours!
    
    ...someone rolling over in bed, 2 doors down, wakes you up!
    
    M-L

    
    You know you're a parent when...
    
    You avoid wearing anything white!
    
    NF

    when...you listen to Raffi even when there are no kids in the car.
    
    Jodi-

    
    You know youre really a parent when....
    
    	you know all the words to all the childrens songs, and you find
    	yourself singing them in the car on your way to work...alone!
    
    	Chris-
    

    You know you're really a parent when your two year old son walks over
    to wear you're sitting, bends over and wipes his nose on your jeans and 
    it doesn't gross you out.
    
    Lori B.

    You find yourself chopping you own serving of meatloaf into subcrouton
    pieces.

when you try to pull your car keys out of your pocket and find a 
pacifier instead (no keys, of course, the baby is playing with those...)

    ...when the only bandaid in the house has cartoon characters on them!
    
    (I have seen three grown men this weekend alone with Snoopy, Smurfs,
    and Turtles on their finger!)
    
    -sandy
    

    
    ... when you have to wake the kids up after a long weekend and nobody
    wants to get going!!!
    
    

    
    
    . . .  when your car is missing and your 16 year old has had his/her
    license for less than 24 hours!
    
    (I'm currently getting ready for my 3rd 16 year old and hopefully know
    all the "Mommy I need the car" tricks by now!)
    

    When bodily fluids don't gross you out like they used to.

    ...when you stop taking silence as a normal event, and start worrying
    that it's *too* quiet!

re .10 (bandaids):
    hahahaha!!  I recently needed a bandaid and found cans of:

	McDonald's
	Sesame Street (2 varieties)
	Donald Duck

    Not a plain one in the house!

				cheryl

    ...the main topics of your conversations are potty training, sleep 
    patterns, discipline, and all the new words your 2 year old has
    learned.
    
    ...you don't know what is going on in the world but you do know all
    the words to "Cruella Da Ville" from 101 dalmations because the VCR
    always seems to be on during newstime.
    
    ...you understand words like "simer yuice" (slimer juice--HC ecto
    cooler), mashun (dalmation), cash cruck (trash truck), etc.--I call
    this "Josh speak".
    
    ...your grocery cart is filled with slimer juice, fruit snacks, grahm
    crackers, peanut butter and jelly, diapers, and popsicles--none of
    which was intended for any grown ups in the house.
    
    ...your car has as many toys in it as Toys "r" Us.
    
    ...you can't roll over in bed for fear of rolling on a car, truck, or
    assorted other things that your wonderful child decided you needed to
    go to sleep.
    
    ...your purse is filled with tissues, lollipops, toys, size 3 training
    pants, a change of clothes (size 3), and loads of pictures--never can
    find my wallet--they love me at the store when I go to write a check!
    "I know it's in here somewhere!"
    
    ...you hear that little voice early in the morning saying "mommy, look
    the sun is out of bed.  Please, get up and play with me."
    
    ...Those little arms are wrapped tight around your neck when you pick
    'em up at daycare and they say "I missed you today"  That's the best
    part of knowing you're a parent.
    
    pam

    You know you're really a parent when...
    
    The Brio train, on its wooden platform, seems to fit into the living
    room decor as easily as the couch and lamps do ...
    
    In a reflective moment, you realize that two years ago, a child
    making this much noise would have driven you absolutely crazy ...
    
    You make time to see "Beauty and the Beast" but don't get a chance to
    see "Silence of the Lambs" ...
    
    You look forward to weekends so you can spend time playing with your
    2-year-old, and suddenly TV football games don't seem so attractive
    anymore ...
    
    You think less about *your* world, and think a lot about the kind of
    world your son is going to live in.  And you become very conscious of
    the things you can do today that will have at least a small impact on
    your child's quality of life thirty years from now ...
    
    Steve

    When you start sounding (and looking) like you own parents!

    When a pre-teen nephew asks a roomful of people what he can have to
    drink, and the three mothers in the room say, in unison, "milk"!
    
    Sarah

    
    
    ...When you wake up in the morning, turn on Sesame Street, and your
       the only one watching it!
    
                                  Jeff

    ... when you put your purse down next to your mothers, and yours is
    bigger!
    

    THis goes along with .18
    
    When you go out of the house with blue shorts, brown socks, a T-shirt 
    and sandals.

    You know you're really a parent when you come to work when you're sick
    so you can save your sick days for when your kids are sick.
    
    Lori B.

   ... when your lunch consists of leftover spaghetti and meatballs
   (the kids ate all the meatballs already) and you have to carry your
   salad dressing in a spare baby bottle because the kids have all the
   small food containers scattered between the bathtub and the
   sandbox...
   
   (can you guess what I had for lunch today!)  :-)
   
   - Tom
   

    ... When a customer spells out letters using words (A as in Apple, B as
    in Boy), and your immediate thought to D as in Dog is "woof woof".
                               
    Angie

    ..... When you're talking to a customer on the phone and you say 
    "Bye-bye" when you hang up.
    
    

    
    
    ...when your parents start telling you stories about 'when you were a
    child' and you listen to them
    
    when it takes you an extra 20 minutes to finish the food shopping
    because everyone is stopping to check out your child
    
    when you get to the checkout aisle at the supermarket and you find a
    half dozen things in the cart that you didn't put inside it
    
    CdH
    
    
    

    When you get into bed at night feeling amourous and have to "make sure
    the baby is asleep" before getting down to business.
    
    kat

    
    
    ...you begin to look at station wagons with interest as you pass them
    on the highway!
    
    

    
    
    When you have to go BACK into the store to pay for the Snickers you're
    (then) 1 year old stuffed into the backpack he was travelling in
    while no one was looking!
                            

    
    When you wish and pray you could afford to trade in your 2-door,
    for a 4 door!
    
    

...when you have to begin locking your bedroom door.  8-}

Hamp

    ...when you excuse yourself from a business telephone call with your
    co-worker by saying "I have to go to the potty"! 
    
    Fortunately, she's a mom too...actually a grandmother.  We had a good
    laugh about this one...
    
    Priscilla
    

    ...when 'sleeping late' means staying in bed until 7:30.
    
    ...when, while at an adult party, instead of discussing politics or
    world events, you get involved in serious discussions about such things as:
    
    		bowel movements		
    		diaper rashes
    		Huggies vs Pampers
    		babysitter payscales
    		Spock vs. Brazelton 
    		bedtime routines
    		Ringo vs George Carlin
    		ear infections
    		etc.,etc.,etc...				

    ...when your son got 101 Dalmations for his 3rd birthday on the 8th and
    you've watched it yourself about 10 times.  (He's going to wear the
    magnetism off this tape!)...
    
    ....Cruella  Cruella De Ville...... I CAN'T get that song out of my
    head!!!!!!!!!!!
    
    Steve

    ...when you automatically leave the house with food in your
    pocketbook!
    
    ...when your idea of "watching the news" is watching the Weather
    Channel so you know how to dress the kids the next day.
    
    ...when you honestly wonder what your life would be like if you
    didn't have kids.
    
    ...when you understand *your* parents

when you realize that apart from technical manuals, the only books you've
read lately start with the phrase "Once upon a time ..."

Stuart

    .....when you get up 2 hours earlier in the morning just to be at your
    baby's bedside to see her wake up! (I've done this). She's just so cute 
    and precious in the morning!! (somebody has to be).
    
    Sandy

(Guess what I did last night)

. . . when your sore muscles are no longer from playing racketball, but from 
falling off the ladder while putting up a basketball rim.

. . . when you put the basketball rim at 8' from the ground, and you STILL 
can't touch the rim.


Clay

    ....When you go to the department store to find yourself an outfit
    and immediately go to the baby department only to get the baby
    something forgetting about yourself.

    ...When you only fill your coffee cup 1/2 way so you can carry
    the baby at the same time....

    
    
    ...when someone gives you a hug and you start patting their back
       like you're burping them.
    
     (I caught my husband doing this too!)

    When you call everyone you know to tell them that "Shane made poo poo
    on the potty!".
    
    Lori B.

    
    When you have more patience with children in general.

    When you're driving a co-worker to lunch and have to make a sudden
    stop, your right arm swings out to keep your passenger from getting
    hurt.  Of course the stop was a gentle one, the passenger was wearing
    a seat belt and I felt really foolish. :^)
    
    Jodi-

    When you tie your own shoes in double-knots!
    I caught myself doing this at the gym today...to both shoes!!
    Sarah

    re: .46
    
    I've been doing that ever since my son started to crawl, cause he'd
    crawl up to my shoes and untie them.
    
    Lori B.

.46 & .47

I don't think that one counts.  I've been doing it ever since I took up
running (now long since abandoned) because the shoes wouldn't stay tied  8^{).

Dick
Who knows he's a parent from the aches and pains developed putting up a swing
set.

    ... when you go to the restaurant and get the high chair, before
    realizing that you are at lunch and your baby is a daycare
    
    ... when you order things that wouldn't be your first choice (i.e.
    macaroni/cheese) and then realize that your child is not there to share
    with you, and you would have much rather had something else!
    
    

    ...when you speak authoritatively about earth-sheltered houses,
    the way mushrooms are grown, and the manufacturing of graham crackers
    because you've learned all about them on Mr. Rogers... 
    
    Lucy

    ....when you put the water on to make a cup of coffe and you
    let it boil for 5 minutes before you pour...! 8*)
    
    Kristen

. . . when you lose your personal identity, and become known instead as
"Lara's father" or "Gary's mother."

Clay

    
    When you are able to overlook the MESSY house and step over toys to go
    to bed!!

    ...when it seems more often than not I'm semi-awake right before my son
    is going to call out or cry during the night. Bad dreams and such will
    get him going, or once he was incredibly mixed up in the sheets!

    It seems that I haven't heard small noises that wake me up...because
    waking up after a noise is different - if you know what I mean. Somehow
    I'm always there and awake when he needs some help.

    Before I became a Dad, I would have said that this would happen
    to my wife and that she would go to him in the night. Since day one its
    been me - my wife doesn't even hear us (or claims she doesn't!)

    JR

    
    ....when you iron your linen blouse and wonder why....after
    holding your baby....K

    
    You know youre a parent when.......
    
    You have to cancel the doctors appointment YOU have waited for for
    yourself for weeks, to take THEM to the doctors!
    
    Oh well!
    
    

......when GI Joe and his pals have invaded one bathroom and Barbie and the
Little Mermaid are swimming in the other one............



..........when you're never on time for anything.........

    along the same lines as the previous ones....
    
    You know you're a parent when you go to take a shower, and spend 10
    minutes trying to gather all the tub toys, so you can get in without
    breaking your neck!
    
    Or the only shampoo in the bathroom is Johnson's BABY shampoo and the
    whole family uses it!!
    
    

    You know your a parent when the words, Graco, Cosco, Playskool, and
    Century become a big part of your vocabulary.
    
    Lori B.

    	How about when you go to a meeting and you reach in your brief case 
    that was open in the backseat with your son and to get to the overheads 
    you must first pull out a bottle filled with juice and a little rubber
    duck............
                                   
    
    (Boy did I feel professional!!)

    .......when you tell your spouse that you have to go to the "potty".

    When you watch "The Empire Strikes Back" for the nth time, and upon
    seeing Yoda, your first thought is "gee, he sounds just like Grover!"
    (and, of course, the same guy does the voice!)

    ...when the washing machine blows up!!! Ours went BANG when the twins
    were 5 months old, it didn't approve of being on twice daily.
    
    or
    
    ...when the dog is not the only one enjoying the Dog's food and and
    water (James, 13 months, loves dog biscuits and will go to amazing
    lengths to get them)
                                                          
    or
    
    ...when you sit in the paddling pool in the garden
    
    or
    
    ...you don't even flinch when you lap becomes warm and wet whilst a small
    child in a swimming costume (and no nappy) is resident

....... you sit through what seem to be never-ending Little League games....

You know you are working with parents when there is a "Batman" lunchbox in 
the refrigerator in your work area.

Clay

    RE: .63
    
    I watching Empire Stikes Back also.  I said that Yoda sounds just like
    Grover, and my husband thought I was completely nuts!!!!
    
    Sasha

    Re: .-1  If you look closely at the credits, it says "Frank Oz,
    performing the voice of Yoda".  Frank Oz is/was Jim Henson's partner
    and does a bunch of the Sesame St. character voices.

    When giving long bible readings in front of 100 people at my brother's 
    wedding did not bother me in the least but watching my 4 year old
    daughter walk down the aisle as the flower girl made me as nervous as a
    turkey in late November.
    
    Kate

    You can't wait for them to visit so you can share all your pride and
    wonderment with them.
    

    When at 10:00 at night, you tell your husband 'don't drink that Coke,
    you'll wet the bed!'
    
    Needless to say we were both  shocked.
    
    Angie

    From an experience last Friday....
    
    When you relive with your 5 year old child, the same awe and wonderment
    of seeing Pinocchio on the BIG screen.   And sharing his first box of
    "movie popcorn" with him.
    
    (We actually had a 4+ generation scene at the movies.  It was my son,
    my niece-almost 7, her brother-5 on Labor Day, they're in from Florida
    for the Summer staying with my inlaws, then there was my mother inlaw
    and her mother-the great-gramma who's 90something.)  What a memorable
    event!
    
    Lyn

    
    When the only tissue or bandaid you've got has a picture of Mickey
    Mouse on it!
    
    When you're actually willing to sit through 101 Dalmations for the
    101th time!
    
    When you sipe your child's runny nose on your T-shirt because there's
    nothing else around, and aren't grossed out about anymore.
    
    When the first stop you make in a department store (or ANY store) is
    the children's or toy department instead of the women's clothing dept.
    (and it's more fun to buy for them than yourself!)
    
    

When you can read things like:

	MY BRAAN IS A HOUSE FOR A THAAAAAT

    Re: .-1  I'm guess I'm not a complete parent yet :-)  What does that
    say??

    Something I did last night, which I've decided is a "knee jerk reaction"
    
    You know you're a parent, when you pick up a soda bottle and try to
    open it by *pushing down* (of course it's white plastic just like the
    liquid medicine bottles) and *then* turn the lid
    
    Lyn
    (darn those child proof caps!)

    When you have the baby's rattle at work with you.   I heard rattling
    coming from my bag.   I looked in and there was Daniel's rattle.   I
    had meant to leave it at his childminders home.
    
    
    Bernie

    
    when the first you hear of Ken going is in the creche carpark!!
    
    when you hear this funny sound from your briefcase, and you find that
    your breast-pump motor is on!!
    
    seals
    

    
    when you can manuver yourself into the shower at 4:45 am, still asleep,
    and successfully survive the obstacle course of toys at the bottom of
    the bathtub without breaking your neck.
    
    chris
    

    Since I have taken to putting Charlotte in the baby carrier (Snugli)
    when we go to the store, and have learned to sway and softly hum with
    her when we are waiting in line at the cash register, or she will wake
    up (likes to be moving).
    The other day I caught myself doing it when I was at the store without
    her!
    
    Monica

    
    Even if you don't use a snuglie, the same thing happens. I've found
    myself MANY times, work included, swaying back and forth.  I usually
    catch myself, and feel like a real fool. Once or twice a friend of mine
    noticed, but was already a mother herself, and could relate, and didn't 
    think me crazy.
    
    chris
    
                              

    I find myself swaying and humming whenever I hear a baby cry.  ...As
    if that't going to help the poor little thing quiet down... :^)
    
    					Mair
    

    How about when someone else is holding your child, and you are rocking
    back and forth because they aren't!!
    
    Or when you are driving, and put on the brakes, and hold out your
    hand to keep your mother steady in her seat!
    
    Angie

    ...you brush off a car seat full of blueberry muffin crumbs
    
    JR

JR:

Brush off the carseat?  My problem is trying to see "through" the windows
(after Juli's SMUDGED the blueberry muffin, in circular motions, from corner
to corner), covering every inch of the window! ... and then comes the first
cool morning, when the windows "frost" over the smudges) .... YUCK!!

Let's see ... how many more years before I dare buy a new car?

Dottie

    ...when it looks like you're going to be spending your anniversary
    at Canobie Lake at the DEC outing . . . 
    
    --bonnie

    ...or when you're concerned about the due date for your second child
    conflicting with:
    
    	- your son's 3-yr checkup
    
    	- The Canobie Lake outing

    
    
    	...You go to buy yourself clothes and end up buying more for you
    son.
    
    I went to get pantyhose and bought my son 2 shirts and 3 prs.of shorts
    instead.  I still need some pantyhose!!!
    
                      

    re: <<< Note 137.86 by TLE::RANDALL "The Year of Hurricane Bonnie" >>>
>                                -< what timing >-
>
>    ...when it looks like you're going to be spending your anniversary
>    at Canobie Lake at the DEC outing . . . 
>    
>    --bonnie

    not this year!  you've probably heard, but the outing is cancelled for
    this year.  You may have a nice candle light dinner yet.
    bob

... Come to work with a Seasame Street or other cartoon figure bandaid 
on your finger and not realize until a coworker points it out.


- Pat K.

    When you are on your way to work and you have a headache you take advil
    with a baby bottle and your still listening to Seasame Street after you
    have dropped your baby off at Daycare.
    
    

You know you're really a parent when...

...you just called and asked your wife if your 30th birthday party
can be held a Chucky Cheese.  <sigh>


Hamp

    You know you're really a parent when...
    
    The suntan you bring back from vacation was all acquired at the
    McDonald's Playlands you stopped at along the road.
    
    Steve

    
    
    
    ........YOu start tieing your own shoe laces in double knots.
    
    

    	When your babysitter cancels an hour before you are to leave to
    drive three hours to get to a friend's wedding (where your child was
    not invited). So you pack up everything for the baby and feed him in
    the car while his velcro sneakers put runs in your stockings.

    	And then you and your husband have to take turns peeking into the
    church to view the ceremony while Spencer is busy outside crawling in
    the grass, eating the dandelions, and going to see the dogs in the back
    of the church. And while I'm watching the vows, Spencer vomits all over
    his Dad's suit and then wets through on his Dad's trousers.

    	Then you all go to the reception and end up eating in shifts
    because one is always out in the lobby walking this little person who
    is so excited about his new skill of walking that he *never* wants to
    stop.

    	And then you pack up everyone and everything to drive three hours
    home and while Spencer sleeps you sort of relax until you get home and
    realize that because he slept so much in the car that he does not want
    to go to bed until 12:00.

    	And then you wake up the next morning and start it all over again.
  				  ;-)

    				Wendy

    I have been doing lots of baking....the other day i ran out of oatmeal
    so I broke into Lindsay's cupboard for her oatmeal/cinnamon cereal to 
    get the amount I needed for cookies.  Last nite I ran out of vanilla 
    wafers in a recipe and made up the difference with Lindsay's animal
    crackers.....saved me trips to the store....have to stock up that girl
    tommorow!

	... you forget you don't have the baby with you, and you walk
	through the grocery store talking to yourself ("Gee, what
	kind of cookies should we buy for Daddy today?")

    ...people stop you in the hall at work to ask why you're using a cane,
    and you say "Mommy has a boo-boo knee."
    
    L

    You know you're a parent when...
    
    it's -2 degrees, you've made sure your little guy it bundled up good
    and warm.  Then I discover his mittens are still muddy from yesterday
    and his hat was left at the sitters, so I give him mine, and head off 
    to work with nothing on my head or hands...because MY SON is wearing it!!
    
    Thank heaven my hat and mittens are in "unisex" colors!!
    
    Lyn

      When you come into work and reach into your pocket for your
      badge and pull out a teething ring instead.
     
      ( The security guard got a good laugh out of it )



                                                               Mike

when your dinner table center piece is a stuffed penguin named "Penguino"...


Pat


P.S.  And Elise insists he is hungry too

    
    when you scan the contents page of the baby mag and you think you read
    that the article on c-sections comes under 'cut out and keep"!!
    
                 Celia
    

    
    ...WHen you find yourself saying, in a matter of fact way...
    
    "Honey, it's not polite to put your feet in other people's 
    mouths"
    
    ...or when you reach in a suit pocket for some change and pull a
    passifier out instead.
    
    8-)
    Jamd

	... when your belongings begin to disappear without a trace.

	... when you find your missing shoe in the bathroom.

    I need to add the latest thing that really confirmed that I'm a
    parent...
    
    My of idea of a shopping spree, out by myself and ended up buying:
    
    Shorts and bathing suit for husband, he needed badly
    Shorts and bathing suit for AJ, didn't really need, I had sort of
    automatically wandered into the boy's department, and couldn't resist.
    
    Oh and what did I get....
    
    Two towels and two face cloths for the bathroom.....!!
    
    My husband asked me last week what I *wanted* for my birthday, my list
    was: dishtowels, sheets for our bed, being allowed to sleep past 6:30
    on a weekend day.  Does this get any better...?? 
    
    Oh and of late I realized that you know you're a parent when you go out
    for that special dinner, that long overdue night together, and find
    yourself home by 11:00 to 11:30, and you have had only one little glass
    of wine, or nothing at all because.... your charming child will be up
    as usual at 6:30 a.m., and you might need a clear head either in the
    morning or "just in case" your child needs you during the night.
    The wine industry won't make an awful lot of profit from us!!
    
    Lyn

    	You know you're a parent when you are so bloody tired in the
    morning that you mistakenly pour the water into the coffee filter area
    instead of into the heating unit area of the coffee machine,...

    	But you *really* know you're a parent when in lieu of cleaning up
    the mess and starting over (which takes more time than you have because
    neither kids are dressed and one hasn't even had breakfast yet), you
    *drink* the slightly brown, luke cold water with little bits of coffee
    shells floating in it in hopes of getting any and all of the caffeine
    as soon as possible.

    	Tomorrow, maybe I should save even more time and just eat the grinds
    straight out.

    				Wendy

try chocolate covered roasted coffee beans....works for me.

/mtb

    I read a back issue of Parent Mag. a few nights ago and it said
    something to the effect..
    
    You know your a parent when...
    
    	You start seeing station wagons as stylish & sporty
    	You hear yourself saying stuff like "what's the magic word"
    
    
    My saying
    
    You know your a parent when...
    
    You look forward to your romantic get-a-way anniversary weekend as a
    chance to sleep 8 consective hours.
    
    The ladies who works at CVS knows you personally from all the trips
    you've made for medicine & picture development.
    
    You go no where without lysol. 
    
    You put on last years winter coat and find extremely old cheerios in a
    baggies in the front pocket of the coat........and wonder if they're
    still edible .....eeeuuuuuuuu
    
    You go to wallmart, kmart, bradlees & the like and end up in the
    childrens section and come home without the item you went there for.
    
    You go to the local pizza joint and consider that "classy" dining out
    (ours provides the kids balloons & coloring books.........they've got
    me hooked.............a guaranteed tearless/no grumpy meal!
    
    

    
    Someone reminded me of this one:
    
    	You know you're a parent when you spend time figuring out how to
    glue the banana back together becuse you cut it the wrong way.
    
    

    Frank came up with this one, as I am taking the little girls camping
    and leaving him at home.  Frank stays home full time with the kids.
    
    You know you're a parent when you want everyone to go camping just so
    you can catch up on the housework.  
    
    Meg

    .110
    
        I liked that. I know there have been many times when my husband
    and the 3 kids would go for ice-cream or something. I would stay home
    to catch up on housework.
    
       Rose

   You know you're a parent when... your literary references have dropped
   from the stuff you read in college to the stuff your kids read (or
   watch)...

   
   The other day we came home from a yard sale with a crockery pot.  Its
   the sort of color and shape that we are using it on the counter to
   hold kitchen utensils.  We were looking at it shortly after we got
   home, trying to decide if we really liked the color, and where we
   would put it if we kept it.
   
   After a fashion, I looked at it, and then looked at my wife, and told
   her that it was ...
   
   a "useful pot."  :-)
   
   - Tom
   
   
   Note - to anybody who does not follow the reference, you have
   obviously not read or watched enough Winnie-the-Pooh yet!  :-)  :-)
   

    I know I'm a parent, because...
    
    the only three cassette tapes in our *brand new* car (and of course it
    *had to be* a four door model!) are:
    
    	The Aladin tape to the read along Disney book
    	Playschool brand "silly song" tape
    	Sesamie Stree tape of Rubber Duckie, Elmo's song and such
    
    oh, and you find the evening news boring, so you pop in the tape for
    the ride home, but wait...
    
    you're ALONE in the car, and singing along, and you know ALL the words!
    
    I need a vacation....!!
    
    Lyn

    Lyn, hahaha!
    
    Our car's first (and therefore theme) tape is "Where in the World is
    Carmen Sandiego"  :-)
    
    Leslie

    When you look at the soles of your slippers and see a collection of old
    stickers.

    A few times over the past month after having dropped Sarah off at
    daycare I've all of a sudden realized that I was still listening to her
    Raffi CD and was singing along, as well!  It's taken me a good 20
    minutes, of a 40 minute commute, before I realized it.
    
    Susan

    re: .113
    
    Lyn, you DO need a vacation!

You know you're really a parent when...

...your current form of birth control is OIA:

	Offspring Influenced Abstinence


8-}

Hamp

    ha ha ha ha ha Hamp - you're a funny guy......

    My husband and my daughter left the house before I did this morning and
    my daughter had been watching the TV in my bedroom.  When they left I
    switched the channel around to have some noise in the house while I put
    on my face (scary Mommy syndrome without my makeup) - but every
    channel was so depressing I ended up switching back to Sesame because
    it made me think of my daughter and the songs were peppy....something I
    definately needed this morning.
    
    
    ...........don't know how to explain this one......I guess "I'm a
    strange parent".
                    

    We had a friend over for dinner the other night.  As my 3-year-old was
    chewing a piece of his pork chop, he apparently came across a tough
    part that he couldn't chew.  So he leaned over MY plate, opened his 
    mouth, and let the chewed-up food fall out.  (We've taught him not to
    try to swallow something that's tough.)  I just went on eating my
    meal around it.  I guess I've gotten so used to things like this
    that I didn't think anything of it until I noticed my friend
    staring at me with a look of horror on her face.  (By the way, my
    friend doesn't have any children....yet!)  
    
    

	You know your a mother when ... your daughter throws up 
	down the inside of your sweatshirt.

	Last night, Lauren started a cold and the coughing made
	her gag.  A whole bottle came up all over me, her, and
	the floor.  Now this has happened before but never has she
	managed to throw up IN my sweatshirt.  When she throws up
	I tend to hold her close and let my clothes take the brunt
	of the damage as opposed to the oriental rug and/or couches.
	Guess I held her a little too close...  

	I didn't know who to clean up first!  What a mess!

	Karen

    re .113  I found myself in the audio section of Walmart last weekend,
    with son in hand of course.  I'm think (selfishly) OK here's this nice
    new car, and I finally have a wonderful radio with working cassette
    player, so let's get some *wondeful* music.  Ok you've probably all got
    it figured out by now.....
    
    I bought TWO more of the Disney Silly Songs Tapes.  and the first one I
    popped in started out with 
    	BOOM BOOM, AIN'T IT GREAT TO BE CRAZY!!"
    
    Yup, I am!!
    
    
    Oh and as for .122, I had taken AJ to the doctor's last week with a
    virus, and asthma thing.  On the way home he kept insisting he was
    hungry.  (it was after 10pm, and niether of us had eaten since lunch)
    they had been giving him Cranberry juice in the clinic as a snack.
    
    I got off the highway home, found a fast food burger joint, and decided
    to order it and take it home.  *after* I had paid for it, he started
    looking funny, and told me a mom's favorite line "mom I don't feel so
    good".  My first reactions was Oh no, followed by thinking Not in MY
    new car pal!  So I'm sitting at the drive up window (in the dark
    and no one behind us, thankfully) and he opened the door and
    "eliminated" all the cranberry juice.  Fortunately it all missed the
    car and him.  fortunate too was it was a one shot thing, and he was
    pretty much better by morning.
    
    I made up the missed burger meal to him several times over the next few
    days.  (His dad and I ate the two kid's meals I had ordered that
    night.) He didnt' care as long as he got to keep the toys!
    
    
    Lyn
    (boom boom ain't it great to be crazy....)

	you drop your kids off at their new daycare, and after carefully
	explaining the care and feeding of your darlings, you sling the
	diaper bag over your shoulder and pick up your newborn's carseat
	(newborn included) on your way out the door...

	whoops!  

	I did return both diaper bag and child before actually leaving...

sigh

	... you ask for (and get) a double stroller for your
	birthday!

While walking, I have developed the habit of always scanning the floor for
small chokeable-size objects or pieces of dirt.

I didn't realize I had developed the habit until I found myself picking up
these tiny items from the floor at work.

...you pick a pacifier up off the floor and stick it in your
mouth to clean off all the dirt and cat hairs before reinserting
it. Usually followed by "ppppbbbbthth!"

    You know you're a parent of a small child when you call up Papa Gino to
    order take out and you actually tell the person on the phone you'd like
    an order or PASTIES ....not once,,,but twice.  When you say,, you know
    Ziti....and the person reply OH,,, YOU WANT PASTA Kid Meal.
    
    daaaaaaaaaaaaa  Did I feel dumber than a brick.
    
    
    I actually asked the woman next to me to cover my phone for a few
    minutes while I ran to the POTTY.  Later when I came back she
    said....oh you must be toilet training your daughter.  What I
    said..with this confused look on my face.  Then she reminded me that I
    refered to the restroom as the POTTY.
    
    Next thing you know I'll be giving my boss or a co-worker a time-out 
    (wouldn't that be fun).......we all know a few folks in every group who
    could use one. ha ha ha !

    You know your a parent when
    
    ...you constantly have a child glued to your hip
    
    ...the most used words of the English language are "no" "don't touch 
       that" and "I love you."
    
    ...the decorations in your living room consist of teething toys,
    rattles, stuffed animals, and various other toys.

... you look at your eight month old daughter and see you and she
having the following conversation sometime in the furture:


My Daughter:    Daddy, May I start dating?

Me:		No, you're not old enough.

My Daughter:	When will I be old enough?

Me:		When you're older that I am!


Hamp

    
    ...the first cup of coffee is lightened with formula and I was all set
    to drink it until my husband said "Are you really going to drink
    that??" which made me stop, think, and realize what I had done.
    Next thing I know I'll be feeding the baby my coffee.....

RE: -1

You're a parent of more than one when you answer: 
"Yes, of course" and then drink it....


Pat

    re -1
    No you are both parents of more than one, when neither of you notices
    
    meg

    You know your a parent when:
    
    you start doing things that you wouldn't DREAM of doing before like:
    
    - wiping boogers off their faces
    - "scooping" poops out of the tub (with your bare hand) 
    
    And to think, we do these types of things on a daily basis (well, 
    not the poop in the tub part), and we don't even bat an eyelash.
    
    

	A counter-person gives you an extra goodie "for the baby", and
	you walk away smiling...

	until you realize you don't have the baby with you...

	;-(

    This has been rather inactive, but here's today's gem...
    
    You know you're a parent when you go the the drive up window of the
    bank-alone- and feel disapointed because the woman didn't put a *green*
    lolipop in the little envelope with the deposit receipt!
    
    Along the same lines, you know you've been on the *outside* of the bank
    building too much when you son wants to know which button you push to
    get the Lolipop from the ATM machine...."is the red one for cherry mom?"
    
    Lyn

    
       Kids ARE funny aren't they? I can remember going to the bank
    and my grandson saying "What a nice person, she gave me a lollipop
    and you money!"
    
        Rosie

    YKYRAPW.... you see a stuffed-animal kangaroo on someone's desk and
    your reaction is,
    		"It's a BOY kangaroo!"
    
    (the owner hadn't noticed that her kangaroo doesn't have a pouch!)
    
    Leslie

    When seeing or hearing a tragic story of hurt/illness/death to
    an infant/small child... you used to tear up and sympathize with
    how horrible the parents must feel, now you invision it as your
    own child.   
    
    Not so pleasant, humorous a response, sorry, but it just happens
    to be on my mind from just such a thing ripping my heartstrings
    recently.   Makes me hug and kiss my baby first thing I can.
    
    			                cj *->

    Isn't that the truth, cj?  I hate to stop watching the news, reading
    the newspaper, etc.  But it's getting harder and harder these days.
    
    sandy

    Now, you know you're a parent when you try to leave for work with a
    pacifier attached to your blouse.  Fortunately my daycare provider
    caught it before I left her house!
    
    You know you're a parent when you get some money for your birthday and
    you try to decide whether to buy your child some clothes or toys or....
    
    sandy

    Sandy,
    
    Nope, I got money for my birthday and used it to pay the babysitter
    so I could take myself out to dinner.  But otherwise, every other
    penny+ goes to my daughter.
    
    My last nice haircut is now at least two inches too long and my
    roots are getting longer still :-)   I'm REALLY starting to look
    like a mother now.  (with all that grey, you'd think I had a
    teenager :-)  ).
    
    						cj *-> 

    You know you're a parent who's not very organized when you pick up
    your five-year old from daycare and he asks "Mom, why did you pack
    cat food in my lunch?". I thought it was peaches, really. Time to
    re-organize the pantry.
    

    You know you're a parent when you ask for Disney and Raffi CD's
    for your own birthday!

    >>  You know you're a parent who's not very organized when you pick up
    >>   your five-year old from daycare and he asks "Mom, why did you pack
    >>  cat food in my lunch?". I thought it was peaches, really. Time to
    >>  re-organize the pantry.
    
    
    
    Thank you for a very much needed laugh this morning!!!
      
    sandy

	On the money theme, wait until you have two.

	After we spent a bunch of money outfitting the kids for
	summer, my sister gave my daughter money for her birthday.

	I held it up to my husband and said, "Look honey, we can
	have Chinese food for dinner!"

	;-)

	When you notice on your way to aerobics that there's two baby bottles
	in the front pocket of the bag.

        I put them there on my way down stairs this
	morning so I could carry them, by bag, and the baby down the
	stairs at the same time....

	Karen T.

(Has this been mentioned)
You're at lunch with co-workers and they stop their conversation to watch you
cut all your food into small pieces. 
Uh...it cools faster...yeah, thats it.

  You go through a buffet line at an informal dinner meeting and you grab a
  handfull of napkins....  But you left the kids with the neighbors and
  it's just you and your wife there this evening!
  
  Dave

    3 incidents of many::
    
    1) Got to a job interview and realized that I didn't have a purse, but
       was carrying the small diaper bag - still got the job, and am working
       here.
    
    2) Went to the local pizza shoppe with my son. The woman, who had
       waited on me many times, said, "I see you're playing grandmother,
       today". My son stuck his hand in mine, stuck out his lower lip at her
       and said "That's MY Mommy!!"   <why is it that alot of people assume
       that once you're beyond some mystical age of maybe 30 something,
       you're too old to be a mother?>
    
    3) You're in register line of a store, have written out a check and realized
       that your license and several other items are gone. The baby must have
       been ransacking your bag AGAIN. As you are pleading your case to the
       Cashier andd then the manager, you reach in once again and find the 
       remote, that's been missing for 2 weeks. The manager laughs and says 
       "Take the poor woman's check!"  

    You know you're really a parent when buying a new diaper
    bag excites you.
    
    Terry

    You know you're the parent of a young one when you tell your coworker
    that "Mamma needs to get some extra sleep, ummmm, make that I need to
    get some extra sleep)"
    
    You know you're a parent when you get to work and discover you have a
    "binky" attached to your blouse.
    
    You know you're a parent when you get to work, look at your self in the
    mirror and can see the spot on the shoulder of your silk blouse where
    you child was using you as a teething ring...right after he finished
    his oatmeal!

    It may sound trite or silly, but Angeline has her first big
    b-day party (to attend, she's already had her own) this weekend.
    Well, I want her to look real pretty.  Picked out the dress out
    of her wardrobe, managed to have tights and shoes that match, but
    nothing for her hair (she has tons of it, curls, etc..).   Well,
    after a couple of days of hemming and hawing (I mean, money is so
    tight this week, I don't have the $2 or $3 for a new headband.  
    It's that bad), I managed to find one in her drawer last night I
    had forgotten about.
    
    Sooo.... I'm driving in this morning feeling good that this mild
    obessession has been fulfilled, my daughter will look picture perfect.
    
    And it hits me... I haven't given one thought to what *I'm* going to
    wear!  This is going to be a nice little party - and guess what?  Mom's
    gonna be a mess!  :-)  :-) :-)
    
    						cj *->
    

    Along the same vein as .154
    
    You know you're really a parent when you answer the phone and it's your
    parents/grandmother/aunt/etc calling to see how the kids are and just
    before you hang up they say "Oh yeah, how are you, by the way."
    
    /Susan

    You know you're really a parent when you are 20 minutes into your drive
    to work and you finally realize you've been listening to a Lambchop and
    Friends CD.
    
    /Nancy

    *groan* Oh Nancy, thanks....I've managed to go all week without 
    that "Song that Never Ends" running through my head over, and over...
    (we missed Lambchop this past weekend).  You just brought it back. :-)
    
    							cj
    						

    ...when the floor and other surfaces in your car are dotted with
    Cheerios and Goldfish.

    You dig in your purse for your keys and pull out a pacifier, 
    
    You look for a pen on your home offic desk and all you can locate are 
    crayons.
    
    You spend so much time nagging your kids to take a shower, brush teeth
    and get dressed in the morning that you find yourself standing your
    bathrobe at departure time.
    
    You  run the nightly bed check, smooth the hair from the kids' faces
    and you wish you could wake them up for one more hug and kiss.
    
    M.
    

    
    ... you can't remember the name of this little person in front of you
    who is making you mad ... and it takes running through the list of
    household members to hit it (-;  ...and I always used to think my
    mother was just nuts!  Do I LOOK like Tony?!?  (-:
    
    ... you move and you know where all the kid's clothes and toysare and
    are unpacked, and you're ready for your first day back to work, and
    realize you don't have a CLUE where your own stuff is!
    
    
    ... you find yourself giving away your FAVORITE food because the little
    ones want it ... (-;

    When you are riding in another adults car and spot a vw "feature" 
    driving down the road, and it is all you can do to keep from yelling
    "Slugbug (color)" 
    
    I almost blurted it out first.
    
    meg

    When you become the "Aaahhhh"-ee instead of the "Aaaahhh"-er
    
    That means:
    
    I met Steve and Aaron at the pediatricians office on Monday when we
    were having Aaron's ears checked.  They arrived before I did and Aaron
    was busy playing with the toys.  Steve saw me coming across the room
    and told Aaron to look, that Momma was here.  Aaron looked up at me
    with a that scowl of his and you could see the look come across his
    face as he recognized me and came running over.  The whole room went
    "Aaahhhh".
    
    Sandy

    re .-1
    
    Took me a second, Sandy, but I get it!  That was cute, and oh
    so true!
    
    
    You also know you're a parent when you're the only one that DOESN'T
    hop-to or turn cartwheels every time your child cries.  You just
    continue on with your business of either stopping the crying, or
    completing whatever it is that is ticking them off....
    
    that is, dressing them, getting them in outerwear, etc...  
    
    							cj

    You know you're really a parent when you find yourself 
    singing the latest Barney tune instead of something off
    the top 40.
    
    Terry

    You know your really a parent when you carry your lunch in
    a Stride Rite childrens shoe bag.
    
    Terry

    
    	Or, when you look in your pocketbook for a pen during a meeting,
    	and have to remove a zip-loc baggie of Kix to get at it !
    

You know you're really a parent when ... 

you get up at 3am to fossick for change after having remembered that the tooth 
fairy hasn't yet done her duty.


\C

    You know you are really a parnt when....
    
    - you are looking for a measuring cup so you go straight to the toybox.

    The last note reminded me of this....
    
    You know you are really a parent when...
    
    you've dressed up in a nice black dress to go out for dinner (something
    you RARELY do!), and the only black purse you have is in the kid's
    dress-up box!
    

    Or how about at Thanksgiving time, when you go to get the turkey
    baster, and remember that the last time you saw it was in the kiddie
    pool or the bathtub for a squirt toy.  Then you find it and send a
    family member to the store to buy a new one; the old Turkey Baster
    aint what it used to be either.

    
    	... you start to like the "perfume" that belongs to 
    	Tropical Splash Barbie.
    
    

... you can stand the smell of baby vomit...

8^}
donna

    ...when you are sitting in a MacDonald's in your business suit, tie,
    and black dress shoes with no socks while your sandal wearing daughter,
    who was in tears a few minutes earlier because she couldn't go in the
    play area without socks, runs around in your black socks.
    
    						Mark
    

    That's just too cute, Mark.  :-)
    
    					cj *->

I don't think I will ever like the smell of baby vomit!

    ..you never walk in the house empty handed.  Whether it is
    child, different accessories from the day, or things that were
    just waiting in the car for a "free hand" day.   
    
    						cj *->

    When you start using other parts of your body to pickup things, turn
    off lights, open doors etc.  because your hands are always full of
    kids, toys, bags, food....
    
    	try holding the fridge door open with one foot holding a baby
    	and pouring juice for a screaming two year old....
    
    	or turning off the light switch with your nose as you hold a
    	car seat w/baby and a diaper bag..
    
    	I always turn the TV off with my toes cause it's too low for
    	me to bend down with the baby..  Now my three year old does it!!!
    
    	The best one yet is closing the van sliding door with my butt
    	holding the car seat w/baby and hanging on to the two year old
    	so that she doesn't go into the street...
    
    	HAHAHAHAHA
    
        Rose
    	
            

    My daughter, Kimberly, is very prone to deep, throaty coughs which
    always wake me up at night.  
    
    Last week I was on a business trip and the room adjacent to mine housed
    a family with a small child.  I had finally fallen asleep on the first
    night when I hear that racking cough.  Still being rather jet lagged
    and half asleep, I forgot where I was and got out of bed, turned right
    (the direction I turn to leave our bedroom) and promptly walked into a
    wall.
    
    /Susan

....because your "morning person" baby always gets you up
long before the alarm would go off, so why bother?   :^)

I hadn't even realized I'd stopped setting the alarm!   Beth

...the only working calculator you can find to do 
expenses is the bubble gum calculator (calculator with 
bubble gum in a "secret compartment") your child in 
their Christmas stocking!

	Irene

    
    
    ...after having shoveled 300 tons of snow out of your driveway and your
    body feels like its headed for a recall...
    
    ... and you then hear a small voice plea for help to build a Snowman/
    Snowcave/whatever...and you realize there is *no way* you'd miss this...
    
    

    
    	... the sound of the Jay Leno show doesn't wake you up,
    	but the sound of a three year old entering the room does (is
    	that the rustle of a diaper that I hear ??)
    
    	... you find yourself laughing at the same three year old's
    	conversation when he wakes you up at 4 a.m. to go potty