Conference moira::parenting

    I can't give you any answers on potential testing, but I had gotten
    pregnant last July (totally unplanned - I had been told I couldn't
    get pregnant), and had a similar concern as I had had a few glasses
    of wine prior to knowing I was pregnant.  I asked my doctor, and he
    said the same thing that your doctor did which was that a few drinks
    were not awful and were not known to cause problems.  He explained
    it to me that damage to the fetus was possible from drinking, but that
    referred to heavy, continous drinking, not a glass of wine now and
    then.
    
    I imagine the testing your doctor is referring to is either AFP or an
    amnio, and those do not get done til very late in the pregnancy.  As
    far as I know, there are no tests that can be done earlier that will
    detect much in your situation.  An ultrasound will show physical
    development, but that's not what you're after.
    
    If I were in your shoes, I'd read as much as I could on it to be
    informed and know what other questions to ask.  And don't drink any 
    other alcohol throughout the pregnancy so you feel you've taken the 
    appropriate action.
    
    Cathy

    The same thing happened to me:  Both times I had been at a cookout or
    other family gathering, then about a week-10 days later, found out I
    was pregnant.  Maybe I was getting my last few licks in. :-) :-)
    
    If you have already quit drinking, don't smoke (or have stopped), 
    and are trying to eat right (as best you can), you are doing all you
    can at this point.  Obviously, you can't do anything about yur past
    actions at the point.  However, "the future is whatever you want it to
    be."  You sound like you are on the right track by not drinking (or
    trying not to drink).  If you think you need help to stay sober, get
    it now.  You'll never have a better incentive.
    
    Good luck and God bless you.  I hope everything turns out for the best.
    
    Hugs,
    Kate

    My doctor said the same thing also.  We had been trying to get pregnant
    and I paid close attention to when I knew it was OK to have a few
    drinks and when there was a chance that I was pregnant, would not drink
    at all.  When I finally thought it was the real thing, I had a test
    done that turned out negative, went home and had a few drinks.  Went
    away that same weekend to a wedding and have to admit, had one or two
    too many at a reception party!  A month later, I found out that the
    first test was incorrect, I was 8 weeks along.  

    I was certainly concerned, as you are, about the possibility of the few
    drinks having an effect on my baby.  I talked to my ob about this and
    he didn't seem the slightest bit concerned that there was a problem. 
    Yes, heavy drinking can be a very serious problem.  I don't believe it
    is determined how much is OK, I think that depends on each individual.
    When I knew I was pregnant, I wouldn't even have the one glass of wine
    that they say is OK for fear of what it might do.  

    I would have to agree with what your doctor already told you.  I'm sure
    your doctor could also recommend some literature on the subject.  Don't
    feel like you are alone if there is a problem, there are plenty of
    places to go and people to talk to if you need help.  

    

    
    
    Oh wow.  I think that at first when we find out we are 
    pregnant (at least I do) is think to myself - that I
    must have conceived on this day - now what cold
    remedies, medications, or did I drink etc.
    
    With my first pregnancy I got pregnant around Thanksgiving.
    Did not find out I was pregnant until January 6th.  Now
    that has to be the most social time of year for parties,
    not to mention New Years Eve.   I was drinking socially,
    and was very worried that I could have done some damage.
    My doctor assured me that things should be okay.  The 
    studies that they have shown on AFS were of mother's who
    were alcoholics and drank in excess everyday of their
    pregnancy.  
    
    I really don't know how much is considered too much and
    what will cause damage.  But as .3 said, I have to agree as
    long as you are not doing it now and continue to take
    care of yourself things should be okay.
    
    Congratulations, and enjoy your pregnancy.
    
    Jeanne
    
     

    I think the other noters were quite on the mark with their
    advice - however, what we do from "now on" sometimes does
    not stop us worrying about what we did before. 
    If you find that your doctor is paying little attention to
    your fears, and if you feel that you cannot stop worrying, perhaps
    you might be open with your doc about this worry. "Look Dr xxx,
    I know you think this is of little importance, but I am VERY
    concerned." This will help him/her be better aware of your
    stress, and it will possibly take a little weight off of your
    shoulders, knowing that the physician fully understand your
    fears.
    Take good care and let us know how you are doing.....
    (and Congrats!)
    
    Monica

    Don't know if this will help....
    
    Before I found out I was pregnant, we were going to a lot of clubs
    dancing/drinking.  I am sure there were several occasion when I drank I
    was pregnant, but just didn't know.  My daughter is fine!  
    
    Some friends of ours got married and went on a three week honeymoon in
    Hawaii, a couple weeks after they got home she found out she was about
    6-8 weeks (?)pregnant.  She had quit a bit to drink at thier reception, and
    I am sure drank while on their honeymoon - their son is just fine.
    
    I really think it is more of a concern (like everybody elses response)
    for the person who drink frequently.  
    
    I know how hard it is to not worry - if its not one thing its another.  We
    are on our second, and I still have all the doubts and fears - is the baby
    ok, I am I eating enough of the right things, oooh what was that
    twinge.  Try and relax.
    
    	Robin
    

    I tend to agree with other noters; try to stay calm and take care of
    yourself.
    
    I'm not absolutely sure of this but..
    
    1. I don't think they can test for Fetal Alcohol Syndrome which is what 
    you probably are worried about. They test for totally unrelated things
    like Downs Sydrome, spina bifida, very rare genetic problems, and even
    more rare birth defects.
    
    2. FAS babies are addicted at birth and have withdrawal; your baby is
    not going to be in that category. 
    
    3. FAS babies may have long term neurological damage, which you only
    know about in the long term and don't know about at birth let alone in
    utero. Some people think learning disabilities are related to mom's
    drinking so if you want to feel guilty wait until your baby comes home
    with a bad report card and you can blame yourself rather than poor
    study habits.
    
    Now, I have been told repeatedly by people in the know (including a
    doctor with the World Health Organization) and I do believe that,
    fetuses are parasites. In fact, the survival of the human race has
    depended on that fact. It is in the nature of the fetus to take
    what it needs from the host (that's you, mom). So, while you were
    ignorantly and innocently drinking, it was taking advantage of your
    relaxed body state, was feeding on nutrients, and was growing at a
    rate you can't even imagine ! 
    
    Don't get worried and guilty; the anxiety will hurt your baby a lot
    more than those drinks you took. Stay calm. Everyone who was ever
    pregnant either took a drink, got exposed to low levels of radiation,
    got insufficient levels of folic acid, took medication, had sex in
    wrong position, forgot to take a vitamin pill, fell down a flight of
    stairs, ate a poor diet, or did something that would jeopardize a 
    pregnancy, usually in the first 10 weeks. That's why they call it 
    the miracle of life. 
    
    However, no more drinking or FAS may be a problem.
    
                                                                     
                                  

    
    To anon:
    
    If you are like me, the more people (especially Drs and nurses) tell
    me not to worry, I worry that much more.  My solution was to call a hot
    line where I was given concise answers that neither frightened me nor
    put me off.  I am in a similar situation as I was taking some
    prescription medications before I realized I was pregnant (that would 
    not have been recommended if this was known).  I am now 4 mos and it 
    was difficult to wait 16 weeks for the AFP test and another 3 for the
    ultrasound, but both tests came out OK.  
    
    The line I called is the Pregnancy Environmental Hotline  800-322-5014
    They answer questions like ours every day and the nurse I spoke to was 
    not surprised to hear the comments I had gotten from my Dr.
    They were very easy to talk to.
    I hope this helps, and you have my best wishes!
    
    L.  
    

    One thing to remember is that in an effort to educate us the medical
    community and especially news media of all kinds tend to over-kill if 
    not sensationalize the dangers. (In everything)

    Before I found out I was pregnant, my mother-in-law died, we had an
    Irish wake.   This consists of plenty of drink.    I drank and smoked
    cigars, eat very little for three days.    Thank God!, my son was
    perfect.    Admittedly, I gave up the cigars the day I found out
    I was pregnant, but I had an occasional drink throughout my pregnancy.
    
    
    
    Bernie

    With my first pregnancy I found out I a week after new years eve that I
    was 8 wks pregnant. I drank quite a bit on new years eve and before
    that I had 1 or 2 drinks a week. My daughter was born 8 lbs and very
    healthy and is now 2.5 and has not suffered because of this. 
    
    As long as you stop heavy drinking after you know your pregnant,
    eveything is just fine.  I have an occasional glass of wine now and
    then and I'm 6months along in my second pregnancy. With the 1st I also 
    had a drink occasionaly.  To put youe ind at ease, read about drinking
    alcohol during pregnancy in books, and ask your doctor.
    
    Sandy

I'm not sure of the medical details but there is some period of time
(two weeks?) before the fertilized egg even implants on the uterus and
then there is another period of time that passes before the placenta
forms.  It would seem to me that until the placenta forms, blood alchohol
would not pass to the baby.  This gives a little breathing room for a
mom to find out she's pregnant.

Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy.  There's nothing like that first
kick (or punch) to make you feel like everything is okay.

I, like you, worried about what I had ingested prior to
finding out I was pregnant.  I was having severe migraines
and was taking a medication with codeine in it.  As soon
as I found out I was pregnant, obviously I stopped.  My
doctor and his nurse said the same thing, there's nothing
you can do about what you had done, it's what you do from
now on that counts.

In addition to this, I went into pre-mature labor and was
allowed one wine cooler (2% alcohol) at night if I was 
feeling particularly stressed.  This was to help prevent
me from going into full term labor.  The more relaxed I
was, the better off for both me and the baby.

My son will be 2 in May and is perfectly healthy.

Good luck and try not to worry.

Diane

    Hi,
    
    Many of us have had "one or two" too many before we found out we were
    pregnant. It is the heavy drinker (I've read that it takes at up to 6
    drinks EVERY day to produce FAS) who causes the most harm to a baby but 
    obviously no alcohol is best. 
    
    I was worried about the same thing and read as much as I could on the
    subject. I read an article about a study which was conducted regarding
    mothers who drank in early pregnancies and they found that extra doses
    of folic acid significantly reduced harmful effects from alcohol. You
    may want to discuss this with your dr - DON'T TAKE THE EXTRA FOLIC ACID
    ON MY ADVICE - TALK TO YOUR OB ABOUT IT.
    
    I also have an extremeley healthy happy 9 mo. old baby. Previous noters
    are right - relax, it's the best thing you can do for your baby.
    
    Pat

    When I was going through similar fears while pregnant with my
    second child, I confided in an old friend who has known me and
    my family for 40 years. She said "Think of the 50's when our
    mothers were having us -- they not only drank like fish, but
    smoked cigarettes too! And between them they had five healthy
    children, so don't worry." 
    
    My mother remembers her obstetrician recommending "no more than
    ten cigarettes a day" !!! (Don't know about cigars, though...!)
    
    I have to agree with .10, (I think) that the media so oversimplify
    and exaggerate that we worriers tend to go crazy...I know I did,
    until after my amnio came back OK.
    
    Good luck,
    
    Lucy

    I wouldn't worry, mainly cuz I think...well you didn't know you were
    pregant before so you had a few drinks. Woman drink, smoke and some
    unfortunately also do drugs unaware that they are pregnant. But we
    DON"T know exactly WHEN we are pregnant so how are we to know when to
    stop (or limit) drinking? (smoking, etc...)  Does this make sense at all?
     By the time a
    woman gets to the doctor she could already be 1 or 2 months along. 
     I would just go along with what the doctor said. I'm sure everything
    is fine. As long as you have stopped or reduced the amount of drinks
    you have, there should be no cause for concern.  
      

    
    As others have said - don't worry.
    
    We had friends to stay (which meant drinks before, during and after
    dinner every night) for 4 days the week after I conceived. Plus I went
    to the group BBQ - free beer!! and a wine tasting before I took a
    P-test and found out I was pregnant. I of course stopped drinking at
    once and voiced my concerns to my dr. His answer - don't worry. If your
    system is used to the odd drink, it's not likely to be a problem. By
    the same token, don't take up drinking if you want to get pregnant!!
    
    The smell of drink put me right off for the first 12 weeks or so, after
    that I had say 2 glasses of red wine per week with food to help my
    digestion. This was my drs idea as I ate a lot of cheese based dishes
    (I am a veggie). Christmas was fine, I just had half glasses of wine
    and champers paced over several hours with lots of food.
    
    I only drank wine while I was pregnant - no beer or spirits - red wine
    contains iron!!
    
    I had a perfect 6 lb girl (right weight for my body frame) last April.
    
    I was concerned about drinking and breast feeding -  but again, the odd
    glass of wine is fine, and has been used for centuries for helping the
    baby to sleep :-)
    
    Don't forget that until we had a clean water supply, women in Europe
    drank weak beer and watery wine all the time. Do you think Leonardo's
    mother stopped drinking when she was pregnant? :-) :-)
    
            Celia