Conference moira::parenting

Kristen,

    My daughter does the same thing.  Actually the reverse.  Michelle chows 
down at daycare and eats much less on the days she is home with me.  She has
been like this for two years now.

    I think you were right on when you said he has more interesting things 
to do at daycare than eat.  These guys seem to have there own preferred
evnironments for particular activities.  My daughter likes to eat with other 
kids.  Eating alone at the kitchen table while I am cleaning/cooking just 
isn't very interesting.  

    As long as they are eating good food (not really a problem for your son
since he is still receiving most of his nutrients from formula) and growing
at a reasonable rate (sounds like your son is) feeding spurts shouldn't be
a problem.  I figure my daughter gets enough calories and nutrients Monday 
through Wednesday at the babysitters house that she won't starve on 
her meagre diet at home.  Conversely I am not worried when she eats two 
breakfasts, a huge lunch and two healthy snacks at daycare because I know
she will eat much less on the days she is home with me.

- Carol

    Russell went though a few bouts of this.  I think you already stated
    the reason - he's busy catching up on what the other kids are doing. 
    When Russell moved to the toddler room, the oppisite happened - he ate
    more since all the kids sat down together and ate at the same time. At
    one point, the daycare center told me to pack more since he was helping
    other kids out with their lunch. This from a kid who would stuff his
    face at home, but would rarely finish what I sent to daycare.
    
    I wouldn't worry that you are feeding him too much, or that the daycare
    is not feeding him enough.  As long as he is growing, healthy and
    happy, he's probably eating plenty.
    
    marianne
    

    Kristen:
    
    Tiffany does the same thing.  I haven't been to concerned because
    it has not affected her sleeping habits and weight gain.  
    
    If Mitch is happy and gaining weight it's probably, "just another baby
    thing".

    Yes - my sons eat differently at daycare than at home, AND eat
    different things. My older son (almost 4) will eat most vegetables at
    daycare - I believe it's peer influence - and won't touch them at home!
    
    

    My daughter always takes fewer bottles (or fewer ounces
    per bottle) at daycare than at home, although she seems to
    eat the same amount of solid food.
    
    She's 11 months old and has been this way since she started
    daycare at 6 months.
    
    What I love is the way kids are so cooperative at daycare
    (e.g. they lie quietly for diaper changes) while at home
    they reenact "The Exorcist"...
    
    Lucy

    Gee, I thought only my kids behaved this way!
    
    James will eat fruit for the sitter -- but not for me.
    He'll eat french toast, pancakes, sausage, bacon, etc., for breakfast
    -- and at home, all he'll have is toast and juice.
    He'll eat fish sticks and french fries for lunch at the sitter's --
    at home, it's a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
    He will go outside and play for the sitter -- but not for me.
    
    I have been feeling guilty about this because I feel like I should
    do more with both him and Hollis on weekends/evenings.  Nothing I
    suggest is acceptable -- not a walk, not a trip to the playground,
    nothing.  Why is this?  Should I change my approach?  I feel like
    a rotten mother because James just doesn't want to do anything
    on weekends excpet run errands with me, then loaf the rest of theday.
    What do other parents do?  I'm afraid that if I *make* him go outside
    and play, it'll ruin his enjoyment of the outdoors.	
    

    re -1...That's sounds like the ideal weekend for a busy person.  Wish I
    could get my life to go like that.  Maybe he needs time to slow down
    and relax on the weekend, too.  Let him be the judge of how much
    activity he can take.  My boys prefer to hang loose on the weekends,
    too.  I try very hard to let them decide how much activity they get
    involved in - since they have no choice about daycare right now.
    
    -sandy
    

    
    re:.0
    
    I am glad that you brought this up.  I have been worried that my
    daughter is eating too little at the babysitter's.  She is 5 mo old too.
    Between 9 to 5, she takes only 10 oz the most at the babysitter's, but
    over 18 oz while we are home on Tuesdays and weekends.  She is about 
    28 inches long and 17 lbs.  I went over to the babysitter's today 
    at lunch, my little bundle of joy was having lunch.  She will have
    couple sips, and looks around for a while, then couple more sips.  My
    daycare provider said that she always eats like this.  Sometimes they
    will feed her in a room where no other kids are around, but she still
    wants to look arouns every few sips.  I suppose that's the reason why 
    she eats less over the babysitter's.  Anybody has suggestions to make
    Rose eat more over the babysitter's?  She looks fine, but she has
    problem fighting off cold.  My pedi says there is nothing I can do
    about her cold, formula intake doesn't relate to catching cold, and so
    on.  But I think formula intake does relate to her overall health, and
    she needs more liquid when she coughs all day all night with fever.
    
    
    my Mom says that Rose doesn't get enough food.

    
    My son (8 mos) also doesn't seem to eat as much at daycare. At first 
    it was just that he wasn't finishing the bottles, now it has worked up
    to the point where he has mixed his 2 mid-morning and afternoon bottles
    into one.  Now is down to 3 bottles a day. Plus juice.  My doctor said
    that 24 ounces plus 3 meals a day and snacks would be enough.  He
    surely isn't suffering in his growth. He's rock solid. 
    
    Chris
    

    I have been through two stages of this with my now 22 month old. 
    He ate well at both places until about 10 months.  Then he began moving
    more, crawling and cruising furniture and did not eat much at daycare
    but would be ravenous at home.  I asked my daycare provider and when
    they are so busy learning new things and able to follow the older kids
    more they lose appetite.  Once home, he slows down and realizes he is
    hungry.  Then around 18 months he quit eating alot of things we used to
    give him that he  liked (grapes, Cheerios, bananas, cheese,) and in the
    past two months he barely eats at all at home during the week.  My
    daycare provider says he eats well there, having a big lunch and eats a
    variety.  He also takes a sippy cup there without shaking it and
    dripping it all over.  Luckily he still likes yogurt at home but is
    also in a transition where he is not liking the high chair much anymore
    and wants a booster seat or just regular chair (at restaurants he likes
    booths).  He is healthy and happy and still into milk and liquids so I
    am not concerned.  I was raised force fed and was a heavy child so I
    worry about going the opposite way sometimes and starving the poor kid
    to death.  But I understand that kids will eat when hungry.
    
    Michelle
    
    

    My children ages 3 and 4 will be going to a daycare/school for the
    first time this Sept.  Up to now they have been in 'inhome' daycare.
    I am excited about the new things they will learn and the friends they 
    will meet.  I am also confident they will both adjust fairly easy.
    
    My biggest concern is lunch!  I will have to pack a lunch for them. 
    There is a microwave and refrigerator available.  I have purchased
    insulated lunch boxes with a thermos.  So now all I need is the food. 
    I was planning on providing juice boxes or milk for the drink.  What I
    could use are menus for kids lunches.  I don't want to bore them with
    the standard peanut butter and Jelly, deli meats, tuna, spagetti O's
    etc..... But on the other hand I don't have a heck of a lot of time to
    do lunch planning and preparation.
    
    HELP!!!  PS: also how much do I give them?  One day they will eat 1/2
    of a sandwich and the next they could eat 2 sandwiches each!!  How do
    you give them enough to safisfy their appetite without over feeding
    them?  Also how do other parents deal with the desert or sweet?  Will
    the teacher make sure they eat the 'meal' prior to the sweet?  Or do
    the kids just eat that first or do you not give that in a lunch box?
    
    Thanks in advance....

    My sons both have gone thru "stages" where they will eat only one thing
    (probably until they are sick of it).  My oldest did the tuna route for
    half of the school year last year - the other half of the year was
    "plain bread". My younger would only accept PB&J (peanutbutterandjelly)
    and balogna and cheese.  During the summer I insisted they eat what day
    care was providing to save me money (since it was included in the cost
    anyway), but now that school is starting again I'm getting the chills
    just thinking about it!
    
    If I'm not mistaking, there may have been some discussions on this in
    the earlier version of parenting if not this one.  
    
    As far as how much to pack...just pack a basic lunch.  They will make
    up for it at snack time or even dinner.  My oldest doesn't like to eat
    lunch - his view is "All these kids in one room, and so little time to
    play with everyone!"  Lunch is definately second on his priority list. 
    I have to make him something quick and portable!
    
    -sandy
    

re: .11

>    I don't want to bore them with
>    the standard peanut butter and Jelly, deli meats, tuna, spagetti O's
>    etc..... 

Echoing what Sandy said, if my children are any indication, there are some 
things that you will get bored of making long before they get bored of eating.

Clay

    
    At Allison's daycare, whatever they don't eat at lunch, they offered
    again in the afternoon for snack in addition to the snack that they
    provide.
    
    	Allison doesn't always eat well at lunch but as soon as she is up
    from her nap she will usually finish her lunch and the additional
    snack.  (she's 18 months).  
    
    	Lunch is usually a sandwich, a cheese stick and a small container 
    of fruit.  We've been packing a sippy cup with juice and the the top on.
    It's more cost effective than the juice packs.
    Also, we pack a cold pack in the insulated lunch bag.

    I want to echo a question of .11's - how do daycares/schools handle
    the dessert/sweets issue?
    
    My son took his lunch to his playgroup this summer. I noticed that one
    of the other kids in the group always had what our family considers
    "junk food", especially sweet dessert-type stuff. My son only
    complained once that it wasn't fair that Chris had such-and-such but he
    didn't. I explained that we don't eat sweets regularly, and each family
    does things differently, and that it's better for people's teeth not to
    eat lots of sweets...he seemed to buy it at the time, but this could be 
    an issue again at school this coming year. I wonder if teachers have
    ways of minimizing the seeming unfairness.
    
    Lucy

    More on what to send for lunch... if you want to be creative, the
    current issue of Working Mother has an article on just this topic....
    ideas on what to send for school lunches other than pb&j.  I only
    scanned the article (our daycare provides lunch and snacks - what a 
    blessing!), but I noticed there were actual _recipes_ :-).  You might
    not want to be _this_ creative, but check it out anyway.  There might
    be some good ideas in there.  (If you're interested, I can xerox the
    article and send it to you).

    This sounds like that commerical on the radio of late... same'ol,
    same'ol, same'ol!
    
    I find AJ goes through phases, tempered with him bowing extremely to
    peer pressure.  He'll go through a phase of only wanting PB&J, OK he
    gets it, BUT it's Smuckers low sugar jelly, and low sugar chunky PB on
    Oatmeal bread.  Then he wants Baloney and cheese, so it's chicken
    baloney, lite cheese, lite mayo (just barely enough to moisten the
    bread) the bread is Oatmeal again.  He will often request "something to
    cook up", I always keep an individual can of spagettios withe
    meatballs, beefaroni or mini raviolies.  There's always "last night's
    leftovers", or last Friday's pizza which I put away for such occations
    in the freezer.  Today I sent a toasted cheese, which he can choose to
    have hot or nuked.  I send a fruit cup, the ones packed in juices.  I
    have been buying the new jello in individual cups, which seem to be a
    real hit.  He has in the past had last night's green salad.  I have
    sent grapes, fresh nectarines, granola bars, and the small cups of
    prestirred yogurt.  
    
    The school provides either milk or juice for two snacks and lunch, and
    any "real" sweets like pudding cups, or anything the child has left
    from lunch is held for snack time, if they don't want whatever is being
    offered for afternoon snack.
    
    I like the idea of the cheese sticks, and will start buying those too. 
    Of course with kindegarten ominiously close, I may have to start
    rethinking the lunchbox.
    
    Oh yes, don't forget to pack a napkin and plastic spoon, I keep
    forgetting both, and he tells me about it in no uncertain terms!
    
    Lyn
    

>    I want to echo a question of .11's - how do daycares/schools handle
>    the dessert/sweets issue?
    
From my experience, there's enough variation (from outright confiscation of 
"bad" stuff to complete laissez faire) that you really need to ask the 
daycare.  If you don't like their policy, register a complaint.  Even if there 
attitude is laissez faire, pretty much all of them that I know of will adhere 
to dietary restrictions (for example for health reasons).

Once you get into school, my experience is that laissez faire is the norm, and 
kids who bring their own lunch and/or snacks engage in a fair amount of 
"trading."

Clay

    My daughter is a little over 2, and I pack her lunch every day.  I give
    her 4 containers of stuff.  A protein (generally cheese, yogurt, or
    cottage cheese), fruit, veggie, and some type of bread/cracker/cookie.
    
    She's currently boycotting most veggies, so I give her 2 fruits a lot.
    The one veggie she will consistently eat is eggplant parmigania.  I
    make that up and freeze it in small batches and then give her a slice
    or two cut up.  
    
    The fruit is varied--I try to give fresh fruit but will occasionally
    give her applesauce or canned stuff without added sugar.
    
    The cookies are rare and are gingersnaps, which are on the okay list at
    our house.  Otherwise I'll give her bread and butter or crackers.
    
    I used to worry about the amount and type of food, but I asked her
    daycare provider about it and was told I was giving her the right
    amount. 
    
    I used the 1/2 cup containers from Tupperware and have a dozen or so of
    them so I just toss them into the dishwasher and usually have enough
    without hand washing.
    
    judy