Conference moira::parenting

    I'll give this my best shot...I've been through it once, and will be
    going through it again sometime in the next four weeks.
    
    First thing when we went through the door, was are you in labor and
    have you pre-registered?  Answers to both were yes, they put me in a
    wheel chair and off to the birthing room we went.  I was asked to
    change into a hospital gown and the nurse came in to evaluate where
    I was.  They do an internal exam to check babies position, amount of
    dilitation and effacement.  If your water has not broken at that point,
    they encourage you to walk, especially if it is bulging and expect it
    will break if you just keep moving.  Other things they will do is put
    you on a fetal monitor to see what your contractions are like, this is
    usually done at intervals, 20 minutes on, 40 min - 1 hour off.  This
    will also give them an idea as to how the baby is reacting to labor. 
    Depending on your own labor (they're all different), you can take a
    shower, this will sometimes help the woman to deal with her
    contractions better.  You can walk if you want, this is a gravity
    positive position that is supposed to help your labor progress.  Pretty
    much it's up to you and your wife what feels good to you and what you
    want to do as long as labor is progressing nicely.  In my case,
    contractions were eratic and hard from the beginning (I had back labor,
    which means the baby's head is facing your back).  I was put on an
    internal fetal monitor and confined to bed, very uncomfortable, but the
    baby was in distress, so it was what needed to be so they could
    constantly monitor him.  What did my hubby do?  He was there for moral
    support, to help me concentrate on my breathing - a good thing, I
    almost hyperventilated, and gave me lots of massage with a lot of
    pressure to help with my back labor.  I think I can honestly say, I
    couldn't have done it without him.  Massage techniques can be learned
    in lamaze class, which I highly recommend.  They also give you the
    information you need to know what's going on at certain stages of
    labor, what kinds of medication are available IF you should need them,
    and a lot of terms that will be talked about by your nurses and doctor.
    They do stress on the medication that there is some amount that gets to
    the baby, but that you shouldn't feel guilty if you do feel the need
    for whatever is right for your situation.  I had stadol, and though I
    wish I could have done it without medication, I was forever grateful
    that it was available.  It enabled me to get rest between contractions,
    and because of that I felt I was better able to handle the next
    contraction.  The nurse/doctor will monitor the amount of dilitation
    and effacement every hour or so, more often as you get closer to 10 cm.
    and start getting the urge to push.  
    
    Well, hopefully I've been able to answer some of your questions, just
    keep in mind that all labors are different.  Do what you feel is right
    for you and you should have a very rewarding experience on your hands.
    
    Good Luck for when that time comes...
    
    Von

re: .0, Ed,

>> Just call me curious.

   Hi curious,  :-)

   o After you go through the door, what happens?
   
     As mentioned - registration, and getting the woman up to L&D.  Its a
     good idea to pre-register for this - ask your doctor or hospital
     about details.  Its the sort of hospital visit that you know is
     coming eventually, and it does save time when you get there -
     especially important if you've waited until she was very far along,
     or if you are not yet awake when you get there.  :-)  They may also
     point you to lockers or storage areas, as well as handing you some
     clothes to wear - ie, standard issue sterile hospital attire.

   o I saw mentioned about the woman taking a shower.  I always thought
     they were in too much pain to do much of anything.  
   
     Very case specific - as mentioned previously, back labor can be
     pretty bad - my wife had that with one of our girls, and she was
     *not* happy.  You might want to bring along some lotion for back
     rubs and such - it is really almost mandatory for some births.  But,
     showers are an option for some (many?) women - ask the nurses about
     it - maybe even check it out before you get there - what do they
     have for facilities, etc.
   
   o What do the nurses do?  
   
     Not much, really, until she gets near the delivery.  They will point
     you to the ice machine (or get it for you depending on the place),
     and will be there for questions and monitoring the situation and
     maybe medications, but unless there are complications, you probably
     won't have much need for them until she gets close to delivery.
     Then they will help prep the area and the woman, help with the
     coaching if needed, as well as paperwork and getting the doctor, and
     stuff like that.  After the birth, they will often take care of
     weighing and measuring the baby, cleaning the baby up, and stuff
     like that. (I don't think doctors do that stuff, do they?)
   
   o What do they check?  
   
     Vital stats on the woman and the baby, as well as checking the
     progress of the delivery itself, as mentioned.
   
   o What does the husband do throughout all of this?  Moral support
     only?  Does he have a job?  Or is he just in the way?
   
     Pray, get nervous, take pictures, sleep, eat, watch TV, play cards
     ... depends on how things are going, really, and how well he handles
     the situation.  There is more than moral support, though - there are
     back rubs, holding her hand, being a gopher for ice chips and
     getting nurses and stuff like that when needed.  
   
     Pretty much you only get in the way if you pass out underfoot!  :-)
   
     These days the husband is often acting as a birthing coach - ala
     lamaze classes.  If you chose to go that route (highly recommended,
     by the way), then you really do have a job - helping her stay
     focused on the breathing rhythms, etc.  If you follow the training,
     it can really help the woman get through the contractions and
     transition and pushing.  (btw - you don't have to get it perfect,
     you know, you just have to remember some stuff, and maybe one or two
     breathing patterns that she is comfortable with - that is often
     enough to get you through).

   Its definately an experience you will not forget - I'd recommend it if
   at all possible.
   
   Regards,
   
   - Tom
   

The father can participate as much as they feel comfortable with. At our
hospital it was strongly encouraged. My wife had a planned C section so the 
labor coaching was never formally used, but it came in handy on the table. She
was terrified of the epidural. The breathing exercises we learned helped a lot.
After the surgery she was on morphine for a few days so I stayed in the hospital
for 24 hours the first two days after delivery. I would recommend this to any
prospective father, it's something that should not be missed. You can sit back
and let the nurses do everything or you can dive in and do as much as you're
willing to. I chose the latter. There's so much to do and so much to learn, you
might as well take advantage of the opportunity. It will pay off after you
return home.

Chris

    
    Perhaps the greatest gift you can give yourself during the birth of
    your child is to keep an open mind as to the different possibilities of
    what will happen. You may prepare yourself down to the last item and
    then have things turn out completely different.

    I was induced. It was not what we had planned. It did not go the way I
    thought it would. It was not what we had prepared ourselves for. It
    included lots of medication (from the petocin drip to the narcotics
    afterward). It did, however, result in a beautiful baby boy.

    With this coming baby, I will be more receptive to contraries of the
    labor experience and will take it a bit more in stride. (she says now
    ;-)

    			Wendy

    When I went into the hospital, I was already pre registered. And at the
    Medical center Memorial in Worcester, they have 3 different rooms to
    give birth in. The LDRP (labor,delivery,recover post partum) the LDR
    and the LD. So I told them at the desk that I wanted an LDRP. Then they
    brought me to the room showed told me to change into my gown and then 
    strapped on the monitor.;In my case I had what they call meconium when
    my water broke at home and so they had to monitor the baby on and off.
    
    Then they said I could walk around for I while, but that didn't last
    long, the contractions were getting to strong and I couldn't walk
    anymore. SO I spent most of the time in bed. With the monitor on.
    
    The was about it as far as what happened just after entering the
    materninty ward, the nurses made their usual rounds and checked up on
    me frequently. After that I spent the next 18-20 hrs in the bed
    laboring!
    
    Take it from someone who saw 3 shift changes in the maternity ward....
    they do their best to make you feel as comfortable as you can.
    
    What made me realize how long I had actually been in labor was when the 
    1st shift staff came in and I was still laboring and they said
    
    "are you still here?" (I  arrived at the hospital during 1st shift the
    day before)
    
    Sandy

    I delivered at the Beth Israel in Boston.  We were already
    preregistered, so when we arrived at the Emergency Room entrance
    (that's where they want you to go) they had an orderly come down with a
    wheel chair and take us up to Maternity.  Once up there they id'ed me
    and asked what kind of post-partum room I wanted (private or semi).
    
    They assigned a L&D nurse to us and she had me change into a johnnie
    and then strapped on the monitor for about 25 minutes.  During those 25
    minutes she asked me about what kind of birthing experience I was
    hoping to have and then explained all the options that were available
    to me.  The BI is also a teaching hospital, so I was asked whether I
    would allow an Intern to observe or participate.  Then the Chief OB/GYN
    Resident showed up and did an internal.  After that I was given free
    reign on what I wanted to do, walk, shower, etc.  We walked for a bit
    and then sat down and played cards for a bit, but I was most
    comfortable in the bed, where it was quiet and I could concentrate on
    my breathing.
    
    The nurse came by every 20 minutes or so to check up on me and to check
    my and the babies vital stats.  She was really wonderful, she
    recognized right away that my husband had a coffee habit and I liked
    the ice chips so both would appear constantly without a word from
    either of us.  She made sure that I was clean and comfortable, not an
    easy task after your water's broken.  When I was up for conversation she 
    chatted away, hypothesized what the baby would look like given me and my 
    husbands looks and we discovered that she had been the LDR nurse for our 
    pedi 8 months earlier.
    
    After my daughter was born the nurse tagged her and then we stayed in the 
    LDR room for 2 hours.  Noone bothered us, we were free to do whatever we 
    wanted.  Then the nurse came back, they put me in a wheelchair and my 
    daughter in the cribbie thing; the nurse wheeled me down and my husband 
    wheeled our daughter. They brought the baby into the nursery and we 
    watched them weigh and measure her.  After that they brought me to my
    room.
    
    

    .6 brought back some good memories (I had my son at BI in 1987.)
    My experience was similar, but since I needed pitocin the nurse
    was in the room more often. When her shift ended, she handed us 
    off to a friend whose shift was just starting. They both were 
    wonderful - left us alone when we wanted, but were there when we
    wanted, as much as possible.
    
    Most of labor was quiet and slow, with a big flurry at the end with
    lots of people. (My husband noticed that he and our newborn son were
    the only men in the room for the birth; the five or six medical types
    were all women.) 
    
    Lucy
     

	I was induced due to my water breaking 24 hours before (with
	no signs of going into labor on my own).
	
	Here's what we did:

	Arrived at Emergency room, told them I was there to be induced.

	Although I was pre-registered, they sent me to admitting (perhaps
	because I wasn't "in labor"?).

	From there, I was sent to the maternity ward (walked up, no probs),
	where they put me in an LDRP.  I requested an LDR, but they said
	the LDRP was available, so they'd let me deliver in there then go
	to the post-partum floor.  I didn't know it then, but I think they
	knew that 1) I was in for a long haul and 2) hubby would need the
	cot in the LDRP room!

	I changed into a Johnny, my doctor came to see me, did a quick
	exam, ordered an ultrasound (he wanted to check the size of the 
	baby, I think in case he had to make a call on a C-section down the
	road).  About 2 hours later, I was in bed, hooked up to Pitocin.

	I did not know that you cannot walk around while on pitocin.  The
	baby's heartbeat must be monitored round the clock.  I was upset
	by this, only because it was a surprise.  I really wish my lamaze
	class had told us this.

	I stayed in that bed for 37+ hours until Emily was born.  I had a 
	nurse in my room the entire time (except maybe 5 hours when they
	turned off my pitocin and let me sleep).  After the birth, I was
	cleaned up, changed, and brought to a post-partum room, where they
	*finally* let me hold Emily (2.5 hours after she was born).

	Karen

    
    
    	I was allowed to walk around hooked up to pitocin (for as long as I
    could anyway) however, it meant that I had to have a portable fetal
    monitor and Marc had to help push the IV pole.
    
    	As stated in the previous note, if I had only just known that it
    might have gone this way, perhaps I would have been a little less
    surprised at what was happening to me.
    
    				Wendy

    
    
    	I also had to be induced (my water broke, but labor had stopped
    five minutes after we got to the hospital) and I wasn't allowed to walk
    around.  THAT was the part I hated.  Next time, if my water breaks
    before I go into labor, I'll JOG until I start up again on my own!
    
    	For those of us bad-mouthing induction: I hope this doens't scare
    those that need to be induced.  Different people react differently, so
    don't worry.  Besides, I disliked it much more AFTER I had the baby and
    thought about it.  At the time, it was just GET THIS BABY OUT!  :-)  I
    didn't care how they did it!
    
    	-Justine
                                

    Having the pitocin drip was kind of the pits too. There you are,
    already having major contractions but they aren't strong enough to
    progress labor....so they put you on pitocin which makes them ten times
    stronger....like your not already in enough pain!
    
    Thank goodness we forget the pain....
    
    Sandy

    
    	I didn't want to do any walking at all while at the hospital.
    	I had spent 9 hrs at home in labor, starting at 7am at 7 mins
    	apart, until 3pm at 2 mins apart. We had done "some" walking at
    	home around the yard tho. Once at the hospital after being
    	admitted, they sent me upstairs to L&D, where they had me change
    	into the johnny and hooked me up the monitor and checked my
    	dialation. To everyones suprise I was only "1" cm diatlated! The
    	nurse told me to get up and walk around to get things moving. My
    	contractions were coming pretty hard at this point (still 2 mins
    	apart), and after one trip around the L&D area, I couldn't do it
    	any longer. I had to go back to the bed.  Well, things progressed
    	much faster than anyone expected and within 3 hours my son was
    	born. I went from 2-7 cm in 45 mins and there was no stopping him.
    	
    	As Wendy said, be prepared for anything. I had myself prepared for
    	the worst, and although the last 2 hours were pretty fast 
    	and hard(he came TOO fast and ripped my cervix), we actually enjoyed 
    	the 9 hrs at home. (we had a party!-2 friends and their sm children 
    	and my husband sat around all day breathing and timing contractions
    	and laughing and having a good time!)
    
    	Good Luck!
    	Chris
    

    I went into the hospital early because of toximia.  We registered when
    I arrived at the hospital.  This takes a good long time, so
    pre-registration is a good suggestion.
    
    After three days of complete bedrest, my babies decided they were
    ready.  (Actually, I think it was the doctors who were ready as they
    put me on the pitocin drip right.  Labor started around 1:00pm in the
    afternoon.  The nurse on shift put me on the fetal monitor and left the
    room.  She came back pretty often to check the machine (and me). 
    
    My mother and husband spent time talking with me.  I ate LOTS of
    popsicles, provided by the nurse, during the first stage of labor.  The
    pains, for me, weren't much worse than regular cramps from menstration
    during that first stage.
    
    Later in the evening, my mother went back home and my husband took
    over.  By this time the pains were getting pretty tough.  My husband
    helped with the breathing exercise.  Now, I was on bedrest for weeks,
    prior to the babies' births, so we hadn't the benefits of LaMaze
    classes.  We just studied a video.  However, my husband was a CHAMP at
    coaching -- he and the nurses let me know when the contractions were
    starting and, more importantly, when they were ending (for some reason
    it really helped me to know when the contractions were ending 8->). 
    And, he held my hand and "breathed" with me.
    
    I have to confess that the most relaxing things I did during labor were
    discussing Rush Limbaugh's radio show (my nurse thought he was the
    "most intelligent" person, my husband and I think he's an exploitative
    ass), watching and laughing at Animal House on television (yep, they allow 
    tv's), and earlier on talking to my mom, and reading an Agatha Christie
    mystery novel while my mother worked her cross-word puzzles.
    
    By the way, I wasn't allowed to walk either.  From the time I went into
    labor at about 1:00pm until I was ready to deliver, at about 1:00am, I
    was prone and attached to the fetal monitors.  The best advice I can
    give is to try NOT to think about the monitors.  Being confined like
    that was difficult, so I distracted myself with quiet things that I
    like to do (like read, chat, and watch television).

Hi,

My son was born a year ago and I still have the most vivid memories of the 
entire process.

I also had to induced, I was a week late and had very high blood pressure the
last month of pregnancy.  

My Husband and I arrived at the Hospital at 7:00 am, was given a birthing room
with a shower, but was never able to use it because of the IV.  In retrospect, I
would have really enjoyed it.

The nurse started the IV at 7:30 or so, the Doctor came in, broke my water, and 
I didn't want to keep still, I wanted to walk.  They put in the internal monitor
and I was able to go anywhere I wanted.  During the first few hours, I wasn't 
uncomfortable at all.  It wasn't until after the Doctor came at Lunchtime that
I started getting so I didn't want to be up as much.

My husband kept the CD player going with all of my favorite tunes, we played 
cards, he tried his best to be the perfect Coach.

Around 5 pm, still nothing much was happening, so they started the pitocin more
and more, which caused overstimulation.  About 7:00 I started losing it,  I mean
I was getting tired, the pitocin was making my stomach upset, and the  Back 
labor began.  

I had an epidural at 8:00 pm that night, because everyone thought the baby
would be too big and I had stopped dilating.  I had been stuck at 8 cm for hours.

Well, I started pushing and 8:30 and Christopher was born vaginally at 10:10 pm
and weighed exactly 10 #'s.  

I think one of the best things about the whole delivery, was that I really felt
my husband, a friend we invited to attend the birth (who is the baby's
godfather), and all three shifts of the labor nurses were a team.

The Doctor, I felt and continue to feel, wanted to do the C section in order
to get home.  But I really didn't want that, and Christopher is fine.

The overall experience wasn't nearly as terrible as I thought it would be.  No,
I haven't forgotten the pain, but it just wasn't the Hell I have been told it
was supposed to be.

I went into the labor room assuming it would be terrible, and it certainly 
wasn't pleasant, but it wasn't hell.

My advice to anyone who is having an induced labor is to

Be prepared for a long haul, everyone thought that the baby would come fast but
even 15 hours is a long time for anyone to be supportive, and to have a good
friend or close relative attend the birth.  Having someone else to give the
"coach" a break, and having another face to look at really helped.   

Jay, still comments, how honored he was to be invited, and what a gift it was
to attend the birth.


Thanks for letting me share such wonderful memories

Katie
(In California)  

    re: .14
    
    My wife was 2 weeks late and was induced at ~7:30.  Nicole was born at
    ~14:00.
    
    Bob

The child birth classes help alot, but be aware that they can be misleading.
They only give gidelines for what can happen.  My wife seemed to have a
relatively "easy" labor, but didn't seem to fit in many of the categories
we got; her contractions were never really regular, we had minor and
major contractions, and the timing varied instead of being absolutely
regular, like we thought would happen.  Also, she wasn't too happy when
they wouldn't examine her regularly because her water broke at the beginning,
and they wanted to reduce the chance of infection (end result being that she
wasn't given much status on how far she was progressing).

I definitely endorse hot showers.  She didn't have back labor, but she
said if felt great.

I also found that she wasn't thrilled to have me leave the room, for any
reason, if it made sence (calling folk, eating, etc), a partner definitely
helps.  Learn the breathing for the transition phase where you want to
prevent pushing before full dialation occurs, I had to coach her when the
urge to push became too great to resist.

Charlie