| T.R | Title | User | Personal
Name | Date | Lines |
|---|
| 1108.1 | | WRKSYS::MACKAY_E | | Mon Mar 18 1996 14:28 | 16 |
|
re .0
First, hugs!
IMO, an almost 8 year old can appreciate more details about
Holly's problems and may be able to become more sympathic
about the situation. I don't think your son would be "burdened"
by your feelings and concerns about his sister; afterall Holly
is his sister and you are his mom. The misunderstanding or
lack of understanding of the situation may be eating him up
inside. Get him involved, bring him with you to Holly's
appointment, etc.
Eva
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| 1108.2 | | CSC32::P_SO | Get those shoes off your head! | Mon Mar 18 1996 14:32 | 7 |
|
Another suggestions would be to set aside some time for
just the two of you. It might help him if he had you all
to himself for a while, since it seems that he is jealous
of the time that you are spending with Holly.
Pam
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| 1108.3 | 15 minutes a day works for us..... | MROA::DUPUIS | | Mon Mar 18 1996 15:02 | 16 |
| I agree with .2, my 9 year old and I just went through a similar
experience and SHE told me that I am ALWAYS too busy for her. So we
agreed that each day I would give her 15 minutes of my UNDIVIDED
attention (No phone, no tv (unless it's something she wants me to watch
with her), no little sister, no SO). Of course, her little sister
wants the same so I switch days of who gets me first, we set the timer
and go off together. It has been about 2 months now and it works
wonders. We have also set up 1 day each month where I will give the
two of them 1 hour to do whatever they choose (Barbies, puzzles, video
games, etc).
I know it is very hard to set time aside, but once you start it becomes
easier to make a part of your daily routine.
Good luck,
Roberta
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| 1108.4 | I thought it was the phase of the moon .... | OOYES::WEIER | Patty, DTN 381-0877 | Mon Mar 18 1996 19:16 | 14 |
|
Hmmmm - I was hoping to hear it was just 8 yr olds!! Jason (who's 8)
has just turned into another, MUCH less desireable child, over the past
several weeks. I keep saying "this will pass", and doubt myself more
each time .... often he's rude and beligerant, and if I put my foot
down he goes into the temper-tantrum, stomp-my-feet-up-the-stairs,
punch-the-pillow, yell-mean-things mode. And then the rest of the
time, he's real cuddly and huggy and is "on" me more than the 2 year
old. This is *NOT* my Jason!! (who normally LOVES to laugh, and let's
everything slide off his back!).
Seems like PMS to me!! (-:
Kids!! (-:
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| 1108.5 | | CSC32::P_SO | Get those shoes off your head! | Tue Mar 19 1996 10:49 | 14 |
|
Patty,
I do think it is an 8-9 year old thing, though. You just
described my son to a "T". He's like Dr. Jeckyll and
Mr. Hyde lately.
We laid down the law last week and he is doing much better.
He knows that his dad and I are not going to stand for it
and I have planned time to spend with him to talk about his
feelings. I think this will help him clear the air before
he blows his top and resorts to becoming a monster!
Pam
|
| 1108.6 | | MROA::DUPUIS | | Tue Mar 19 1996 12:01 | 24 |
| Patti,
Everyone I talk to tells me that it's a age thing too, maybe hormones
are kicking in early. I can tell you the EXACT day Lauren became
"possessed" - it was the evening of her 9th birthday party. The party
went great, most of her friends went home and she started becoming
"show offy" in front of her remaining friends and I told her to watch
how she was behaving and then it all hit the fan, she started screaming
out of control, she hated me and where we live, she wants to go live
with her father and on and on. I was so shocked it took me a couple of
minutes to recover. I had her go in her room to calm down so that I
could calm down too. It took three different attempts to go in and
talk to her without both of us screaming and not listening. Once we
were able to communicate she did share with me somethings that have
been bothering her. Unfortunately, she's a lot like me, she takes
things that bother her and stuffs them away in a bag until the bag
explodes. Things have been a lot better since her party and we do have
our time every day. I still see some attitude and don't always care
for how she treats her little sister, but she is working on it and I am
trying to be there for her.
I keep clinging to "this too shall pass"
Roberta
|
| 1108.7 | can he help her? | SWAM1::GOLDMAN_MA | I'm getting verklempt! | Tue Mar 19 1996 14:40 | 40 |
| re: .0...
My almost-8 year old (6/20) is also having a rough year -- it's his
first year in a new school/state, I had a 2nd child last fall, and he's
just very 7 right now. He also complains that I don't spend any time
with him, nobody cares, everyone spends all their time working or with
Jake (baby), etc., etc. Whenever he makes that statement or starts
acting up, I make it a point to "drop everything" at my earliest oppty
and spend some special time with him. I took last Friday off from
work, and spent the entire day with Joe. Lots of the time was spent
running bill payments around or other errands, but it was just us, we
had a bite to eat together, and lots of chatting. Later in the day we
went to one of those pizza places with the huge arcade area and I let
him run rampant with a $20 bill. I thought we were going to do this
alone, but he asked to invite his best buddy, so we took him along.
When Joe later complained that he didn't have any fun with *me*, I let
him know that I had made myself available, but he chose to spend the
time with Mike instead of me.
As for facts about Holly, as long as you present the information in a
light that doesn't leave your boy a lot of room to tease his sister,
I'd give him as much info as he can understand. My baby has feeding
and breathing problems which tend to take up a lot of my time and limit
our ability to run off and do fun things (baby has to be nebulized
three times daily, fed four times, etc., etc.). I let him help me
nebulize the baby or bathe him or help with the dishes, etc.
Is there any kind of exercise that your boy can help your daughter
with? If, for instance, she needs to do flash card exercises to work
on pronouncing words properly, your boy can do that as easily as you can,
which would free you up to wash the dishes sooner (or whatever), and
then you could spend the 15 minutes you saved with him...
Just a thought, but I agree with prior replies that you need to make
him feel included in what you are doing.
M.
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