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Conference moira::parenting

Title:Parenting
Notice:Previous PARENTING version at MOIRA::PARENTING_V3
Moderator:GEMEVN::FAIMANY
Created:Thu Apr 09 1992
Last Modified:Fri Jun 06 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:1292
Total number of notes:34837

825.0. "When should you expose a new baby to people?" by TARKIN::VAILLANCOURT () Mon Sep 19 1994 15:00

    
    When is it 'safe' to take a new baby out in 'public'?
    By safe I mean, as far as exposure to germs, the cold, etc.
    Should this be put off until he has had his first shots, and,
    when does that happen?
    
    Also, can anyone recommend any good books for first time moms
    that will answer questions like this?
    
    Thanks,
    Cheri
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825.1PCBUOA::CAPPELMon Sep 19 1994 15:2612
My daughter was born in November.  At that time our Pedi recommended
keeping her out of malls and stores unitl she was 4 to 6 weeks old.
If you took the baby out in the stroller, I think you could do it at
any time.  We had family and friends visit in the first week and 
Elizabeth has not been sick yet (Knock on wood).

If you are breast feeding then you are already giving the baby
antibodies to help fight off germs.

Regards,

Pam
825.2"What to Expect the first year"LETHE::TERNULLOMon Sep 19 1994 15:2922
    Cheri,

	I'd recommend the book "What to Expect the First Year", it helped
	me out with some questions like that, that I had.  And it starts
	with some useful information before the baby is born, about what
	you need to help get you ready and about the last month or so of
	pregnancy.  I found it helpful.

	I think it is safe to bring the new baby out in public as long as
	you don't go to the extremes.  I wouldn't sit in the house if I
	had an errand to run, but I wouldn't bring the baby to a friends
	house if they all had colds either.  Common sense is the best 
	advice I can give here, of course make sure the baby is dressed
	for the weather and limit his/her exposer to strangers or people
	who are sick in the first few weeks.

	Congratulations and good luck,
	Karen

	P.S. They're all bound to catch colds, etc sometime, but you'd rather
	     it be when they're a little older and stronger.
825.3Baby makes 3 for the holidaysTARKIN::VAILLANCOURTMon Sep 19 1994 15:5610
    Our son is due the 6th of November (although he feels like
    he's going to kick his way out any day now!).  We were curious as
    to what our plans should be for the holidays, i.e., (assuming
    MOM feels up to it), will he be okay to go to relatives for
    Thanksgiving Day, and then Christmas?  My guess is that he'll
    only be 2-3 weeks old for Thanksgiving (if that!), but should
    be okay for Christmas at Grandparents
    I plan to hopefully avoid the malls and stores until after
    Christmas, as I usually have all my shopping done before that
    since I can't stand the crowds!
825.4Play it by ear...LJSRV1::LEGERMon Sep 19 1994 16:0325
    
    
    I would say, don't make any plans, and play it by ear.
    
    Infants sleep a lot, so its real easy to move them around with you,
    but you just might not be in the mood. 
    
    Also, with a new baby, everyone wants to hold, see, rock, feed...and
    it can get tiring on the baby and mom.
    
    When Nicholas was 2 weeks old, we were out and about, when the weather
    was nice. He was born in December, and as long as the sun was out, 
    and it was not snowing, raining, and/or pridicting bad weather, we 
    would go out for a little while.  
    
    They do say that a baby should have at least 1/2hour of sunshine/fresh
    air every day.
    
    Also, with winter babies, you want to make sure they get somet type of
    sunshine (taking out, placing in front of a window), it may help
    prevent jaundice.
    
    of course these are JMHO
    
    Anne Marie
825.5See how you feel at that timeMKOTS1::HYNESMon Sep 19 1994 16:1514
My daughter Breanna was born last November and I had many of the same
concerns.  I stayed in the first week and after that we went out almost
every day.  Some days it was just for a walk up and down the street (the
weather was beautiful in November).  I took her to stores a few times, but
didn't like when people would stick their faces right in hers, so we limited
those visits.  

We went to my mothers for Thanksgiving (she was 2 weeks old) and she slept
the entire time.  We also took her out Christmas eve and Christmas day and
she was great

I'd suggest not trying to plan ahead.  See how you feel at the time.

Laura
825.6Time for you...SOLVIT::DUHAIMEMon Sep 19 1994 16:4619
    Our daughter Kristen was born on November 17th and Thanskgiving Day
    that year was on the 23rd.  We drove to my folks' house through a 
    snowstorm and all {20 minute ride that took at least 45 due to weather}
    and enjoyed the dinner and visit.  My daughter met her Great
    Grandmother for the first time at that visit.  I was feeling fine and
    the company {without having to do ANY cooking} was wonderful.
    
    At Christmas, Kristen was about 5 weeks old and Christmas was being
    celebrated at my sister's house in Connecticut, 2 1/2 hour drive away.
    Yes, we packed everything up and made the trip.  I was glad that I was
    going to be home the next day to rest.
    
    Do what YOU feel like doing.  Sometimes it's hard to say "no" to an
    invitation but now is the time to think of you and your baby.  Your
    family and friends will understand.
    
    Good luck and all the best to you and your new baby,
    
    -Patty
825.73 weeks old at XmasNAPIER::HEALEYM&ES, MRO4, 297-2426Mon Sep 19 1994 17:4925
	Lauren was born on December 3rd and we joined my family
	for a pre Xmas party when she was 2 weeks old (she slept
	through most of it), and Xmas day with my husbands family
	when she was 3 weeks old.  However, I definately would not
	have attended either event if I didn't feel up to it.

	I still remember the visit I got when Lauren was 1 days old.
	We had just got home from the hospital when my husbands 
	parents came to see her for the first time.  After eating
	all the goodies that friends had given me in the hospital
	and generally overstaying their welcome, I got rid of them
	by falling asleep on the couch with Lauren (I was faking it
	but it worked!).

	The whole family went to cut down our Xmas tree when Lauren
	was 6 days old.  It was my first trip out of the house and
	we had great weather and Lauren was in a snugli under my
	coat.

	Last winter was brutally cold though and we rarely went out.
	
	I'll never have another winter baby again if I can help it!

	Karen	
825.8Un wanted relativesBRAT::FULTZDONNA FULTZMon Sep 19 1994 18:0113
    
    
    	Question.. How do you tell people that you really don't want them 
    	around.. ?
    
    	See my sister-in-law has decided with out my concent that she
    should visit every weekend in the month of december and January.
    
    	this would be fine but, she has three little kids 5,3,1, 
    
    I do appreciate the offer but, I think that we will have enough
    adjustments without having to entertain three little kids and
    having to fed the mob everynight.
825.9CSC32::M_EVANSskewered shitakeMon Sep 19 1994 18:3815
    "Thanks for the offer of help by coming up each weeken, but I need time
    to adjust to the baby without a lot of people around.  While I know you
    are self-sufficient, I would feel that I would need to entertain you
    and yours."
    
    this was an answer I gave a would-be helpful friend who has too much
    "baggage" for me to deal with with a new baby.  Good thing I turned
    everyone down too.  I wound up in bed for three weeks after Atlehi was
    born from a rather nasty spider bite and resulting infection.  Having
    her try to "mother" me and fretting abnout our two dogs and cats and
    her dog would have been a nightmare.
    
    meg
    
    meg
825.10ICS::WALKERMon Sep 19 1994 20:218
    As for going out - when our son was born (March '93) the pedi said to
    start taking him out. We took him procery shopping when he was 6 days
    old. Never had a problem.
    As far as having people over... take as much time as YOU need ! I had
    C-section, and tried to do too much, and when the baby was 1 week old,
    11 people showed up at our house. The baby slept through it all, and I
    never felt as though I recovered for months. Take your time. Babies
    fair better than you think, but a new Mom doesn't always.
825.11CSC32::M_EVANSskewered shitakeMon Sep 19 1994 20:369
    FWIW,
    
    Once we had recovered from the spider bite from hell, Frank and I
    started our summer camping schedule (only a few weeks behind where we
    were hoping to be), and Atlehi was in two wilderness areas before whe
    was 9 weeks old.  Small breastfeeding babies fare quite well
    backpacking.
    
    meg
825.12Everyone is differentBRAT::VINCENTTue Sep 20 1994 16:5815
    
    
    	I always have gone right out with the babies after they were born,
    and never had any problems.  Kati was born December 30, and the day
    after I was released I went to get some formula and nursing pads. 
    Things went well for that trip so we went home got some formula,
    diapers and headed off to see her great-grandparents.
    
    	When my second was born May 12, we (Kati, Baby and I) ran errands,
    and visited friends on the 14th. I guess it all depends on how you are 
    feeling, and how comfortable you are with traveling with the new baby. 
    I for one could not wait to get out of the hospital and get home!
    
    
    	Robin
825.13CLOUD9::WEIERPatty, DTN 381-0877Tue Sep 20 1994 18:1333
    As for going out, we went out as soon as I needed to get something from
    the store .... usually within the first couple weeks.
    
    Unwanted help .... after a disaster with well-meaning relatives, with
    my first baby, I made it QUITE clear what my expectations were with the
    2nd baby.  I made a few people upset, but my sanity was in realizing
    that if they did really care about me, then they'd be willing to 'do'
    what it was that I thought best (which meant them staying away).
    
    For the 3rd, long before it became an issue, I made a point of telling
    people how much I was looking forward to having time to spend with the
    baby just by myself and getting to know him without any other
    interruptions.  For me, the older 2 were in school, so the conversation
    went something like;  it'll be nice when the older boys are in school,
    because it'll give me all that time to spend just getting to know the
    baby, and resting or whatever I need to do."  In the end, my sister
    came up one day near the beginning, and I was totally exhausted by the
    end of the day.
    
    My friend did it a little different - I called to see if she felt up to
    company, and she said "As long as you bring me lunch you can come".  I
    certainly didn't mind, and it wasn't so stressful on her.  Plus we took
    out the trash a little and picked up while we were there, so it helped
    her a little.  She's not afraid to ask for help either, so that made it
    easier on her.
    
    If you 'let her come', then make a list of things for her to do, or
    explain to her that there are some rules that you wish her children to
    follow, and if that would be too hard, that you should make other
    arrangements.
    
    It's hard - they mean well, but don't understand! 
    
825.14No childrenCHORDZ::WALTERWed Sep 21 1994 16:0316
    I would NOT recommend your sister in law visiting with any children. 
    Or, if she must, make it a very short visit.  I had my sister in law
    visit me two days after I was home with her children, 2 and 4 and they
    were monsters.  Although they wanted to help and see the baby, they
    just didn't understand that he needed to rest and therefore, they
    needed to be quiet.  Alot of children carry colds, whether symptoms are
    showing or not and I would be leary to let them near your baby without
    washing hands and making sure they are clear of runny noses, etc.
    That visit alone set me back several days.  I think one of things that
    she didn't realize was that I did too have a c-section and she didn't,
    in fact, she had two very easy labors and therefore, didn't think much
    of the visit. 
    
    Next time I will be more adament with visits.
    
    cj
825.15EverywhereTAEC::MCDONALDWed Sep 21 1994 16:093
    We took our baby EVERYWHERE , and she never got
    sick until I stopped breast feeding (7 months)
    Carol