Conference moira::parenting

    I don't have twins, but I *think* what I would do is take away the toy
    in question and try to divert their attention to different toys.  If
    that didn't work, the twins would get time out (in separate locations).
    
    If one twin was playing contentedly and the aggressor twin commandeered
    the toy (without asking or gesturing nicely), the aggressor would get
    time out.  This is assuming that the twins didn't go for the idea of
    taking turns with the toy!
    
    Leslie

    For our twins (boy and girl) we only interfere if there is physical
    damage being done (hair pulling, bitting... etc) or if one of the kids
    clearly was playing on their own and the other one just decides to go
    steal the toy.  For physical damage you get timeout and then must
    appologize to the other.  For just stealing away a toy, you get the
    "your brother/sister was playing with it... talk".  For the most part
    we let them deal with it on there own...
    
    /jim
     

	we do not have twins but we saw this behaviour with Neel. He
wanted/wants whatever is in Avanti's hands. He will drop what he has and go
after her. He used to throw a tantrum, throw things, hit Avanti and cry . As he
got older and his vocabulary increased his behaviour improved. He now can use
words to express himself "I want it" or "I don't like this ", etc. The tantrums
have almost disappeared, throwing has stopped and the crying has decreased. The
need to go after what Avanti has in her hands has not decreased. We talk to him
about sharing (now, since he can understand us). When he was 16 months old we
would have to distract him with another toy to let go of his grip on Avanti's
hair :-(

    Well, I have an soon-to-be-12 month old daughter and she thinks
    everything is her toy.  If she has something in her hand that shes not
    suppose to and I try and take it away, she grips it so hard, I have to
    pry finger by finger to get her to let go of it.  And, I have noticed a
    few times with other kids (like at daycare) if she has something and
    someone tries to take it away, she holds on so tight and does her
    little screaming act.
    
    Like the others have said, I divert her attention by handing her a toy
    in the opposite hand of what she is holding.  I guess its natural for
    kids to throw tantrums over their toys, but I guess its more difficult
    with twins or siblings -- Alyssa has to only compete with me and Mumma
    always wins!! :-)
    
    
    And they say taking candy from a baby is easy!

    having had the "hell sisters" together for two weeks, I can identify. 
    My best freind's daughter is 4 months younger than Atlehi, and the two
    were perfectly willing to fight over each and every toy in the house. 
    We got to the point of either separating them for a bit, or just
    monitoring the situation and seeing if they could work things out. 
    They did come to  bit of a compromise by the end of the vacation, but
    we had major trauma about every couple of minutes at times.
    
    meg

    I am also the mother of 16 month twins, (boy/girl) and they often fight
    over toys as well.  I think it is very normal at this age.  I would not
    categorize either one of them to be more aggressive than the other. 
    There are times when Brent takes things away from Megan just to see her
    get mad and there are times when Megan consistently takes away whatever
    Brent is playing with.  Brent is usually easy going and just finds
    something else.  On days like this, Brent likes to go in his playpen
    where Megan can't get at him or his toys.  As a general rule, if I see
    one of them take away a toy that the other was playing with, I give it
    back to the child who had it first and try to interest the other in a
    new toy.  If they throw a fit, I let them, it never lasts long before
    they move on to something else.  On those occasions that I don't see
    who had what first, I let them settle it themselves and only intervene
    if I need to.  (I have to watch Megan, because she bites when she gets
    mad at her brother)  Just recently, I have noticed if one child is upset, 
    the other child gives them a toy to cheer them up.  Brent is usually
    the giver though, and Megan rarely gives anything back.  Sometimes he
    gives her everything and has nothing left, then he cries.  They sure
    are fun though, and I feel extremely lucky to have had twins.  
    
    Sue   

    I have twin boys (5 yrs in Dec).  Competition and fighting over/for
    toys and attention has been common in our household.  Especially, when 
    their little sister (4 yrs in Feb) gets in on the action.
    
    Our answer - Rule #1: If you are playing with a toy-it's yours to play
                          with and to share.
                          
                           If you put that toy down, it's fairgame for
                           anyone.
    
    It's been the answer to many arguments over toys.  They understand the
    rule and if they want something that another is playing with, they will
    ask....and usually the other will share/give to them.  It's the
    indenpendence/control/decision making that makes them like this rule.

    To reply to your off-shoot ... I always found that my kids were more
    attentive to the movies at the theatre than at home.  I think it has
    something to do with the dark, and the sheer VOLUME (CAN YOU HEAR
    ME?!?!) of the movie .... Haven't seen the Lion King so can't help you
    with that.

re: "The Lion King"

There is a lot of discussion in topics 768, 479, and 341 about children's 
movies/cartoon generally.  768 is the one most focused on "The Lion King".  
If you want to discuss children's movies specifically, please use one of 
those three notes.

Clay