Conference moira::parenting

    I concur in this inquiry as my five month old loves tv and can watch at
    length.  The pediatrician had given us some material which said that
    the brainwaves change with watching tv so I also wonder if this
    inhibits active play, turns the kid into a tv robot or other horrible
    things.  

    
    
    IMHO, kids watching educational/fun type shows is no more different
    than them reading educational/fun type books. It stimulates their
    minds, not just their motor skills (although my daughter and son like
    to dance to Barney and Friends songs :)). 
    
    	Of course, both physical playing and mind stimulation are equally
    important to a healthy child. I certainly wouldn't consider having just
    one or the other....
    
    	
    				jim s.
    
    (who watched tons of TV and read tons of books as a kid, and still
    found time to camp out and play soccer regularly!)
                                                      

    Since this inquiry is about a baby, I wonder if the child actually
    watches the TV or just takes it as a particularly interesting or
    soothing part of the general environment.  If the child is not
    mesmerized for more than a minute or two, and then looks at something
    else in the room, I wouldn't be concerned.
    
    At 2, my daughter is just beginning to pay attention to TV shows, and
    even then primarily when she is very tired.  Mostly she's too active to
    sit still and concentrate for long.
    
    L
    

    	We have lots of song tapes that we play for Spencer. He is
    absolutely mesmerized by them and it allows all of us a chance to have
    a breather. The only show on TV that he is even remotely interested in
    is Sesame Street and he is only allowed to watch that on weekend
    mornings (while Dad takes him into the living room so I can sleep ;-))

    	That said, I was also getting worried that Spencer was getting too
    involved with the watching of these tapes and shows but this weekend
    when I found him singing himself to sleep I realized that he is
    learning far more from these tapes than I had imagined. To be able to
    teach the joy of song at such an early age is a quite a gift to our
    child.

    				Wendy

    thanks for raising this - Charlotte, at six months does often glance
    for a minute or two at the tele, but I get the feeling that its just
    the fascination that something like that can issue so much sound and 
    moving pictures. She is not glued, and will watch a person or a lamp
    with equal attention. 
    After all that I have read and heard I feel a little nervous having it
    on (although rarely do we watch anything that would be considered bad
    for a child to watch) when she's around.
    About these sing-alongs...anything in particular recommended?
    
    Monica

    Mitchell, 10 mos has really started to watch TV. 
    
    My hubby is a tv junky so I could see this coming.
    
    But it's interesting what Mitchell watches.  He looks at everything
    with a child's voice, especially singing.  He loves the themes to
    Cosby Show and Cheers.  No matter where he is, you'll evenutally 
    find him in front of the TV when these two shows come on and he
    sits mesmerized until the song is over.
    
    I let him watch a little of the Sherry and Lambchop show...they
    do a lot of singing and he likes the puppets.  Also, he likes
    watching Burt and Ernie on Sesame Street.
    
    I bought the Fantasia tape and he will watch that for hours
    it seems....it's animation put to classical music.
    
    Kristen
    
	

    Lindsay (10 months) goes nuts when Married w/children comes on/off
    She starts crazily dancing to the music.....stops right when they 
    do.  It's on 7-8 two episodes, the song plays 4 times.  It is a 
    riot....my husband wouldn't believe me...he works nites...one nite
    he witnessed it and was shocked.....i make sure if she's up we don't 
    miss it!  Now I actually watch it from having it on for her!
    
    She loves commercials with babys and kids on....loves the kids-r-us 
    commercial and baby wipe ones.  doesn't watch any shows though

    Re: Married w/children
    
    For a 10 months old, it may be ok to let her watch it.  But I
    don't consider it is a kids show and wouldn't let an older
    child watch it.
    
    Wendy

    You're right about that, she really just listens to the songs...then
    goes off and plays til the song comes on again...i was thinking of 
    recording it for her to dance to anytime.  I should put something 
    else on the tube when she's around....pretty degrading show...i saw 
    the actress who plays the neighbor interviewed about how she felt on 
    that matter......she said it was all just silliness and so stupid
    she did it for the humor, not a serious acting part and that people
    shouldn't take the show seriously.
    
    

     
     Monica,

            The Disney Christmas singalong is a big hit in our
    house.They've watched other singalongs but the Christmas one is 
    by far the best,But it's nine pounds for 25 mins.
    
    
        SCott

    Re: Married with Children theme song
    
    That is a Frank Sinatra old hit...he's the one singing it.  I'm
    sure you could find an old Frank tape/CD that has it on it.
    
    Kristen

    Thanks!  I knew it had been around but didn't know who it was, 
    it the name of it Love and Marriage?  I am going to look this
    weekend for it!!

re: .12

Ouch!  It's bad enough when my kids don't recognize the Beatles.  Now there 
are adults who don't recognize singers that I know.

Clay

    Sorry....I recognized......knew the song....could not identify.
    
    don't worry....I don't know alot of singers names....i just know 
    if i like the songs.....drives my husband crazy  "How can you like
    a song and not even bother to know who sings it???!!"
    
    

    
    re: .7
    
    Rose (almost 11 months) also likes that song from Married w/children.
    When she crys for not being able to get that knife in Mommy's hand or
    something, we usually sing that song to her so she will stop crying.
    
    I worry that she is too close to the TV when she watches it.  No matter
    how far we sat her down, she always crawls to right in front of the TV
    where she can touch the screen.  What should the distance be?  6 feet?
    
    Charlotte
      

    My husband the electronics engineer and electrician says,
    
    "The distance should be at least 5 to 6 feet, preferably 6 feet or
    more.  It can hurt their eyes and the radiation off the TV is not good. 
    It's reduced with new TV's but the emission off the screen is still not
    good.  
    
    That's why when you sit at a monitor, you should sit as far away as
    possible."
    
    L

    A real "aside" to this note....
    
    I am going to be one of several adults who will be chaperoning a
    sleep-over next weekend.  It will be held in the building where the
    girls hold their twice monthly meetings.  We, the adults, are taking on
    the responsibility for renting several movies for enterntainment.
    
    Sugestions please, these are girls who are roughly 13 -17 years, and I
    assume there will be little or no sleep that night.
    
    Some of the girls have already requested some of the classic Disney
    movies, we (the adults) have agreed to rent one horror movie, not to be
    too gorey, but what else is ther for a group of teen Girls.  This is a
    fraternal group for young women, that emphasies good morals.
    
    Lyn

   Well, to carry the tangent a little... you could always go for the
   "classic" horror films.  What I mean is stuff like the original "Blob"
   or "The Thing", or stuff of that era.  (In my opinion), they really
   knew how to do horror back then - much of the implied horror was from
   the suspense of the action and the reaction of characters in the film.
   It wasn't nearly as graphic or gorey as today's horror movies.
   
   Or, if you really want to give them a scare.. borrow a birthing film
   from one of the lamaze classes... that would really be a horror film
   for that age group, eh?!  (ok, ok, too graphic.. I know... :-)  )
   
   - Tom

    re -1   I had to laugh 'cuz your reply reminded me of my favorite
    "horror" movie "Attack Of The Killer Tomatoes"!! What a riot!
    Lila
    

    I have a few concerns about my son's viewing habits (he's three)
    and wondered if anyone else has had these concerns and how they
    dealt with them.  It seems as though Joshua has become addicted to
    the television.  I think if we (my parents and I) would allow him to
    he would watch t.v. from the time he gets up in the morning until
    he went to bed at night.  Yes, I think my parents and I have had
    a part in this--my step mother and I both work full time and go to
    college part time and it has been convenient to let Josh watch t.v.
    when we are trying to study or take care of the house.  And even though
    I know it's a bad habit it's something I don't know how to change.
    Joshua watches all the kid's shows in the morning (Sesame, Barney,
    Reading Rainbow, etc.) and then wants to watch his videos (Beauty and
    The Beast, Dalmations, Denver the Dinosaur, etc.) after that.  In the
    evening my parents babysit and Josh watches sitcoms with them.  Full
    House is his favorite.  How can I break this bad habit???  How can I 
    get him to be interested in crayons, legos, blocks, pretend, etc.?
    As the weather begins to warm we have started taking walks and playing 
    outside some but I am still feeling guilty for him being such a t.v. 
    head.  Josh does go to daycare two days a week and learns all kinds of
    neat things there as well as doing lots of fun things.  Could part of
    the problem be that since he is an only child he has a hard time 
    entertaining himself?  Developmentally I believe Josh is advanced for
    his age but I am afraid of the effects television may have on this.
    
    Help!!!  How do I keep my three year old from being a couch potato?
    
    Suggestions, advice, reassurance, experiences welcome!  :-)
    
    Pam

    In ours house KIDS TV is allowed but only for a certain length of time. 
    I also try to keep the content a little more regulated, like Barney,
    Mr. Rogers, Sesamie Street etc.  My rule, definitely not shared by
    hubby unfortunately, is that if TV is on during a time when you would
    ordinarily be in school (or preschool in your case) it has to be one of
    the above.  Saturday and briefly on Sunday mornings I let him pick what
    he wants to watch.  Fortunately he loves the classics like Donald Duck
    and Mickey, and Garfield, Dennis the Menace and Captain Planet is a
    favoite too.  
    
    OK now I'm going to set myself up for being fired at...
    Dad has turned him in to a "Trekkie", he adores Star Trek! 
    Unfortunately I can't stand the program, and I swear they run it backto
    back from 5 to 8:00p.m. every night.  OK so it gets them BOTH out of my
    hair long enough to make supper and do a few things in the kitchen. 
    But you should see me trying to pry them BOTH away from the set when I
    call them for supper!!
    
    Lyn

    As a *BIG* Star Trek Fan, I am willing to deflect and flack you
    may recieve for your comments by saying that there are programs we
    are disagree on in terms of what we like and don't like (or what
    is something we let our kids watch).
    It is YOUR choice.
    To forbid Star Trek in our house would be like saying "sorry, you
    are not allowed to listen to the radio anymore" or "lets just ditch
    the television". I was 6 when it first aired - I LOVED it and have 
    ever since. (and I didn't turn out so bad after all ;-) ;-) )
    My parents didn't like it either but have learned to tolerate it.....
    
    Monica

    re: .20
    
    In our house, the couch potato is my hubby not the kids :-). 
    I usually have to force hubby to turn off the TV.  Good thing
    is he only watches shows on PBS and the news.  But still, I
    prefer listening music/reading book than watching TV.  
    
    As for the kids, you really have to setup the rules.  My kids 
    watch PBS in the morning while having breakfast.  They then
    spend all day in daycare center where they get no TV.  Once for
    awhile they get to watch 1 hour TV at night.  They usually pick a
    Disney movie or sing alone.   Eric is now 4.5 and can pretty
    much self-entertained.  Monica is now 2.5 and still needs a lot
    of attention.   But Monica is not very interested in TV, I spend
    most of time playing and reading with her.  
    
    We really are talking very limited time here.  Since we usually don't 
    get home until 6pm.  The dinner is done at 7pm.  The kids are in bed by 
    9pm.  That only leaves 2 hours to do bath and play.  The time left
    for TV is very limited.
    
    Wendy

my advice is to turn the tv off and put it in the attic. (but ours is in
the family room :-))


Pat

    
    
    The answer is:  Turn the TV off for a while.  Turn on music so he can
    dance and play.  
    
    The ultimate solution is have another kid as a playmate. :')
    
    
    Mike

    Well, we did it!  We made it through the day without t.v.!  I'm sure
    Josh will watch t.v. with my parents this evening but this morning the
    television stayed off.  We turned on the radio, danced, made cupcakes,
    and went to McD's for lunch.  Josh did pitch a major fit this morning
    when I told him not to turn on the t.v. but seemed to understand when I
    explained that the television kept us from doing other fun things. 
    Once we got busy he never once asked for his tapes.  However, between
    work and school I don't think I can keep this daily entertainment.
    
    re .25:  NOT!!  I would for sure end up with 2 couch potatoes!
    
    Thanks!
    Pam

    Congrats on a TV-free day!  One at a time...
    
    How can you keep it up?
    
    What works for me is pre-thinking out the "rules". 
    
    Our "rules":
    - ONE PBS program/day (I try to sit down and watch too, though I only make it
    about 50% of the time)
    
    - Movie night 1-2 days per week.
    
    - Mutant Ninja turtles on Saturday (Ok, I blew it here!)
    
    
    this way if we have a bad day & watch more, we have rules tofall back
    on, instead a slippery slide to more tubitis.
    
    Jamd

You might also consider that if he isn't used to entertaining himself that it
is something that needs to be learned.  It might take more of your time in the
beginning to find alternative activities to TV but, as he starts enjoying these
things, I think you will find that he can be left more and more to get on with 
it once you have started things off.

My two boys (12 and 14) don't watch much tv except in the evenings if we're
watching.  Even then, they will often go to their room and listen to music and
read, especially if my husband is watching one of his "krimis" (detective
story).  I always accept that on a rainy day, there is going to be more tv
than otherwise but if it's nice weather and they have time, they get sent 
outside.

Dirk (14) and I had a discussion about priorities the other night.  I asked him
what is the most important thing he has to do at this point in his life.  He
said school.  Second is basketball (fair enough, he wants to be a professional
basketball player).  Third is music (he takes trumpet lessons).  So we agreed
that tv takes a low priority and if I see him watching (usually out of laziness
:-) I just ask if his other priorities have been attended to.  works every time.

ccb

re: 484.21

>As for the advertising - it comes with everything, why should childrens
>advertising be any different from adult advertising - some of it is good 
>and some of it is bad . . . Also, 3 years don't tend to "want" things 
>with characters on them (except maybe for the stuffed Barney) I think we 
>as parents are more the ones to blame for buying these things

This is a spinoff from the "Barney" note.  One of the discussions in that
note dealt with the amount of commercialization and advertising that was
attached to "Barney."  I wouldn't know Barney if he appeared at my doorstep,
but I do have some concerns about advertising on kidTV.  The above quote is
taken somewhat out of context, but I'm using it as a basis for discussion.

I do think that there is a difference between advertising on kidTV and adult
TV.  The difference is that most adults have learned to view commercials
critically -- to view the commercial knowing that there is a certain amount
of "puffing", half-truth, concealment, and even outright lying contained in
the commercials.  Kids have not yet learned to view commercials critically. 
In fact, it's more difficult for them, because frequently the stuff being
advertised is very similar to the subject of the show, so it may even be hard
to tell where the show ends and the commercial begins.  I don't watch Barney,
but I remember the "Smurfs" TV show as being a terrible offender.  Most of
the stuff advertised was either Smurf paraphernalia or was some product being
peddled by Smurfs.

One of the things that bothered me the most was trying to interpret
"Christmas lists."  Did my son REALLY want that toy, or had he just been
"caught" by the commercial.  In a couple of instances, I can remember "have
to have" toys that didn't get touched after New Year's day.

One thing that is recommended was to watch TV with the kids and discuss the
commercials with them, to educate them about advertising.  Sounds like an
excellent idea, but I was never able to do this.  I couldn't justify spending
my own time watching the Smurfs.

Clay    

    Watching and analyzing commercials became a family game for
    us when the Olympics were on last year. This was the only
    significant amount of commercial TV my son (4) had seen until 
    then, and he was absorbed by most of the ads. So we would say, 
    "what are they trying to sell us in this one?" and he would call 
    out "a truck!", "Coke!", "an airplane??" [travel ad] and so on.
    Some of the more conceptual ones kind of mystified him, but
    he did pretty well. Then the ritual would be for one of the adults 
    to say "but we don't need [Coke, a truck, etc], do we!" to which
    he would call "yes we do!!" 
    
    Lucy 

re: .30

>    ... "what are they trying to sell us in this one?" and he would call 
>    out "a truck!", "Coke!", "an airplane??" [travel ad] and so on.

Yow... y'all must have had fun with some of the perfume and 
jeans commercials... even I have trouble figuring out what 
they're selling sometimes... :-)

- Tom

    .31
    
    No kidding! It was almost embarrassing sometimes.