Conference misery::feline

    Barbara,
    
    I'm so sorry about Ebony!  I had tears in my eyes as I read your note. 
    Electronic hugs coming your way.  Please take comfort in the fact that
    Ebony *knows* how much you love him!
    
    I'm sorry I can't help you with the poems except to say try doing a
    directory of this file and MUTTON::FELINE_V1.  I look around some too.
    
    Best,
    Michelle

    Barbara,
    
    The poetry in this version of feline is in note 63.*  - I did a "show
    keyword/full Poetry" to find it.
    
    Best,
    Michelle

    I'm so sorry about your baby.  Note 63.11 has a poem you might like. 
    Here I am, crying at my terminal.
    
    Karen
    

    I'm sitting here with my eyes all filling up.....isn't there
    a passage in the bible that is read when there is a blessing
    of the animals being done?
    
    Lynne

    My heart aches for you..and I'm sure Friday/Saturday won't be easy 
    but I'm so happy you are doing this for yourself and Ebony!!  Ebony
    will be without pain and soon in heaven with many of our loved ones!
    
    Cindy Fischer shared this poem with me when I lost my Tamba...I truly
    love this poem and would happy to share it with you.  I still read
    it all the time.  Gentle hugs for both of you.
    
    ...Grieve not,
       nor speak of me with tears,
    but laugh and talk of me
       as if I was beside you...
    "twas heaven here with you!
    
    
    
    Sandy

    Barbara,
    
    I'm just hurting so bad for you and Ebony.  I lost my first baby when I
    was 5 and it's never gotton any easier.
    
    Prayers for both of you,
    
    Nanci

    I'm so sorry. We will be thinking of you...
    
    Linda 

	I'm sitting here in tears, too.  So sorry to hear the news about
	Ebony :^(

	I'm not sure if I posted this poem in the previous version, so here
	it is.  It was supposedly written by Roy Orbison shortly before his
	death.


		TO THOSE WHO LOVE AND 
		THOSE WHO LOVE ME

	When I am gone, release me, let me go-
	I have so many things to see and do.
	You mustn't tie yourself to me with tears.
	Be thankful for our many beautiful years.

	I gave to you my love.  You can only guess
	How much you gave to me in happiness.
	I thank you for the love you each have shown
	But now it's time I traveled on alone.

	So grieve awhile for me, if grieve you must.
	Then let your grief be comforted by trust.
	It's only for a time that we must part
	So bless the memories within your heart.

	I won't be far away, for life goes on
	So if you need me, call and I will come.
	Though you can't see or touch me, I'll be near
	And if you listen with your heart, you'll hear
	All my love around you soft and clear.

	And then, when you must come this way alone,
	I'll greet you with a smile and say-

				Welcome home!

The note was signed, "Thank you for loving Roy,   Barbara Orbison."

    Barbara, I'm sorry for you and Ebony.  My friend came by who works
    at the shelter with me and found me in tears at my terminal.  I showed
    her your notes and she cried too.  Too much, we cat lovers.  I did find
    a poem that I know has been entered a million times, and probably my
    me, but I like it.  
        A kitten's prayer
        -----------------
    	Small one, now that you have departed, I remember.
    	I remember the misadventures of kittenhood, 
    	when enthusiasm courted disaster at every turn;
    	But who could remain angry at the little furball
    	wrapped to a small pile of sleeping and purring fur?
    	Or when you were grown, could I forget the way 
    	you would greet me?  A meow, a head-bump, a cheek
    	to the leg, just to say "Hello."  I remember the way
    	you played, even once in a while the kitten would
    	surface in you as a grown cat.  I recall you being
    	spooked at the most trivial thing, and fascinated
    	by something I couldn't see.  I remember the gentleness
    	of your paws and the softness of your step.  I remember
    	the gracefulness of your leaps and the ease with which
    	you relaxed.  The cries for attention, the need for
    	solitude.  The times you wouldn't be satisfied no matter
    	which side of the door you were on.  And I remember your love.
    
    	You have left me now, little one.  Your place cannot be filled,
    	but then, with the memories, it is ever empty?
    
    	Walk proud, head high, to wherever good little ones go.
    	May you know happiness, and love, and a life of sleeping,
    	prowling, exploring, and those thousands of things that kept
    	you occupied when you were with me.
    
    	May your pawprints be eternal, my faithful one.
    
        	**************************
    	

    Barbara, my heartfelt sympathy to you and Ebony.  I've been sitting
    here in tears reading your note and the beautiful poems.  It sounds
    like you will be making Ebony's last days as loving as his life has
    been with you.  Eb certainly knows how much you love him, and loves you
    too.
    
    Steffi

    I am very sorry too.  I have to go home now, before anyone sees me.
    Paw pats and kisses,
    Karen and her 13

    Barbara,
    
    My thoughts will be with you over the next couple of days. May Ebony's
    passing be peaceful and full of love.
    
    ng

    
    
    	Oh dear.....sniff...... best wishes and kitty comforts Barbara
    
    	JJ +3
    

    
    THANKS everyone for your best wishes.  This is truly the hardest time
    in my life ... I'm an absolute emotional reck!
    
    I saw Eb again last night and he looks so tired and depressed.  He does
    let out little cries when he sees me, but it's so hard to look at him
    alive knowing that he'll soon be gone.
    
    Because Eb still won't eat (he's been on an IV since Monday night),
    I've decided it's best to put him to rest Friday afternoon instead of
    Saturday.  I'm picking him up tonight and will be able to be with him
    until about 3pm tomorrow.  If he's not willing to eat, I don't want to
    prolong his discomfort.  
    
    My husband doesn't think it's a good idea to bring him home because he
    thinks it will be 'too hard on me' ... well, all I know is this whole
    situation can't get any harder.   Maybe I'm being selfish, but I truly
    believe his last memory should be of his favorite places at home with
    mommy, daddy, and sister, Ivory (my other furface who's having a hard
    time with this too ... she looks all over for him and seems depressed).
    
    Again, I appreciate all your kind words and notes.  I only hope that
    I'm able to make it through this ..... I'm so heartbroken and empty!
    
    Barbara 
           

         I'm so very sorry to hear of this, Barbara.  But what a beautiful
    day you have planned for him, filled with love and the comforts of
    home.
    
         May you have strength to get through this ... I only hope that I
    can do something like this when my "kids" go ...
    
    					- Andrea

I think your grief is very normal and understandable. If Ebony
was human it certainly wouldn't be considered selfish to want to
be with him in his last hours.

Ebony no doubt knows it is time to go and wants to be with you,
too. Bless you for honoring your feelings about this.


                                       Susan

    Barbara,
    
    It's such a hard choice when we have to come to times like
    these, but know that you are doing the right thing.  Even
    though Ebony is such a sick kitty now, I know he will enjoy
    those last few hours at home with you and your family, and 
    will leave this world knowing how much you loved and cared
    for him.
    
    Our thoughts and prayers will be with you tomorrow...
    
    take care,
    Pam

    Barbara,
    
    The tears welled up in my eyes too.  I know how your heart aches for
    Ebony.  You have done all you can and she had 10 wonderful years with
    you.  
    
    Prayers and hugs come your way.
    
    Pat & Clan
     

    I think you're doing exactly the right thing Barbara.  I think it will
    even make it easier for Ivory, since she will realize how sick he is.
    

    Barbara...
    
    I am so sorry about Ebony.  I read your note and started to cry which I
    have been doing plenty of the past few days for other reasons..
    
    If you need to talk about it...I'm right down the hall..
    
    Linda

    
    
    
    
    Barbara,
    
      I am so deeply sorry to hear about Ebony.  I brought my vet to my
      home 18mos ago to have my baby Sylvester put down (he was around the
      same age as your Ebony), he had Leukemia/tumors and I would have paid 
      any price to save him, every Spring I plant flowers for him in my 
      backyard where he is buried.  I can honestly say that, that was the 
      hardest thing i've ever had to deal with.  I cry everytime I think of 
      him and everytime I read such heartbreaking stories such as yours, cause
      I truly know the pain that you are going through and my heartbreak 
      hasn't lessened any since I lost him.
      Again Barbara, I am deeply sorry to hear about Ebony.
    
    Diana
                                

    I'm sorry too.  :^(  Take care of yourself, and rest assured that you
    are doing the right thing.
    
    -Roberta
    

      Reading notes like this makes tears for sure.  Go ahead - spend the
    day with your babe.  You'll be glad you did.
    
      So sorry, Denise

it is the kindest gift we can offer...a quiet and painless death when it
is needed.  I know it is hard - it never gets easier...but, you have
the memories and they are worth any price we must pay.

			D

    Barbara,
    
    You and Ebony are in my thoughts today.
    
    As I held Otis last night (he's 3) I started to cry knowing that
    someday I will be faced with the same situation.  I admire your 
    courage and strength, I respect your decision and I send you my 
    heartfelt prayers.
    
    M
      

    I almost... don't know what to say.  I am very pleased to know that I
    am not the only one who is owned and loved by a cat this much.  I see
    the sorrow, but, I also see deep compassion from all of you. I will
    write in some fun stuff on Monday to pick us all up.  My thoughts are
    with you today...
    Karen

    IT'S OVER ..... HE'S GONE!  :-(    :-(    :-(    :-(
                   
    Just want to thank you ALL for your concern, love, and kind words!  I'm
    still not over the shock of losing him and probably never will be
    because is buried right outside my kitchen window!  The house is so
    quite without him and I still (and will for some time) feel extremely
    empty!
    
    Here's the story of Ebony's final passing...................
    
    When I brought him home Thursday night I was amazed at how fast he went
    downhill (since Monday).  He was very weak and had a lot of trouble
    walking....he'd go a few steps, wabbling, and plop down .... it broke
    my heart to see him this way.  I carried him from room to room so he
    could see, smell, and feel all his favorite spots, but he never left my
    side.  I still couldn't get him to eat or drink ANYTHING!
    
    My husband came home from work and dug the grave, took a shower, and
    took off in his car quite upset.  Men don't like to express their
    emotions but I was surprised to see just how hurt my husband was. 
    After about an hour he came home and said "here I bought this for Eb". 
    It was a Cross with Jesus........I was so touched.  I found an old
    chain and Eb was put down and buried with it around his neck (as well
    as a copy of my eulogy, a picture of he and I in better times, and a
    flower).
    
    Friday was a terrible, terrible, day.  He and I just laid together and
    I said over, and over, how much he's meant to me and that I love him
    more than words could say.......of course I cried a lot too.
    
    Hubby got home with the flowers for the grave about 3 and off we went
    to the Vet....Eb was pronouced 'a sleep' at 3:50pm, 9/18/92.  I held
    Ebony's face in my hands as they injected the ??? and said what I
    always said to him when I'd call him to go to bed .... "Sleepytime,
    Ebby, com'on, it's sleepytime" ... this was the last thing he heard 
    and my face was the last thing he saw.  
    
    At home, hubby, sister Ivory, and I just sat with him, stroking him, 
    kissing him and trying to deal with the fact that he was gone.  After 
    about an hour my husband said "it's time".  Both in hysterics, we 
    prepared his casket, sealed it, and proceeded to his grave.  I read 
    the Eulogy (I modified the poem "I'll remember ...."), threw a flower 
    into the grave, and and then clump of dirt - hubby took care of the rest.  
    
    I can honestly say that in the 8 years I've been with my husband, I've
    never seen him cry.....we were both an emotional reck Friday night, but
    now it's time to move on.
    
    Ivory isn't taking this very well.  I went through all my years of
    pictures and pulled out about 30-40 of Eb from birth to the present and
    laid them out on the kitchen table.   Saturday morning I got up and found 
    Ivory laying on top of them licking them ... I also caught her licking 
    the black stuffed cat (I have a white one too) that I have on my 
    fireplace!  She knows what's happened and is hurting too ... she's going
    to be so lonely without him ... she's never known life without him.
    
    Anyway, this is my story of the most loved cat in the world.  He most
    definitely had the best life and the best death a cat could have.
      
    I miss him terribly and will never, ever forget him ......
    
    Thanks again for everything ... Feline folks are the best!
    
    Barbara

    I'm so sorry, Barbara.  I know Ebony must have felt totally secure and
    loved.
    

    Sniff sniff...both your hubby, yourself and Ivory did all you
    possibly could for Ebony.  May he live at peace....and may you
    remember all those wonderful memories.
    
    What a very sad...but beautiful day for Ebony!   When the time comes..
    I hope I have the strength to deal with this in the same graceful way... 
    
    Sandy

    Barbara...
    
    I'm sitting here in my cube with tears rolling down my face.  What A
    beautiful ending to a beautiful life.  I am sure that he is happy and
    at peace..and that he is watching over Ivory for you.
    
    Hugs....
    
    ~Linda~

    A woman in my office is waiting to hear from the vet - her cat is
    VERY sick and it has been suggested that he be put down.  She has
    been crying - I have been crying - and now I read this story 
    which is so sad, and yet is such a beautiful tribute to Ebony.
    
    I suggested she get in and read all the notes hoping that she will
    see the support and love that exists in this file.  She said "thank
    you" but she cannot gather the strength to do it right now.
    
    I had a hard time reading your entire note - about Friday - as I
    was afraid I would break down uncontrollably.  But, I am glad 
    that I did because it was filled with unconditional love,
    respect and honesty.
    
    I send you all best wishes - Ebony couldn't have asked for a
    more beautiful life or a more peaceful ending.  Thank you for 
    sharing your story with us.
    
    Marilyn and Otis
    
    
    

    Sob!  I'm in tears too.
    
    Time will heal the hurt you are feeling.
    
    Take care of yourself, and Ivory too,
    
    -Roberta
    

    Saw this in womannotes and thought of you....
    
    
    
    	"I shall know when time is over,
    	 and I have ceased to wonder why;
    	 ...
    	 I shall forget the drop of anguish
    	 that scalds me now, that scalds me now."  -- Emily Dickenson
    
    
    Hugs to you and your family, and peace to Ebony.....
    
    Nancy and the six

    What a wonderful send off for Ebony!  I'm sure he is happily at peace
    now.
    
    Best wishes,
    Michelle

    Barbara-
    
    I am in tears, like so many others of us.  It especially hit me when
    you decribe your husband crying.  I remember my husband in hysterics
    when we almost lost our baby boy to FUS.  Thank God he made it, but it
    was a very emotional time for us.  Good luck to you, your husband and
    Ivory.
    
    Shannon, Pearl and Zeno

      Oh, I'm all teary eyed again reading this note!  Ebony is in kitty-
    heaven where he waits for you in silence.......
    
      Denise

    Thank goodness nobody is walking by my office at the moment.  I'm in
    tears reading your note.  I was SO touched with all that you did for
    Ebony!
    
    My prayers are with you .. Please rest assured that Ebony is in Kitty
    heaven .. I'll say a prayer to my darling departed Michaela and ask her
    to find little ebony and "show him the ropes" of Kitty heaven. (-:
    
    My best wishes to you, your husband, and to Ivory.
    
    Holly
    

Barbara,

This is from the previous FELINE notes conference.  Perhaps it might bring
some comfort to you now.  Later, may you treasure your cherished memories
of Ebony and call him often to your lap.

					- Ken

              <<< MUTTON::USER2:[NOTES$LIBRARY]FELINE_V1.NOTE;1 >>>
                    -< Meower Power is Valuing Differences >-
================================================================================
Note 4483.17                      GOODBYE TABS                          17 of 24
CRUISE::NDC "Putiput Scottish Folds DTN:297-2313"    44 lines  26-MAR-1991 09:57
                           -< "Where to bury a cat" >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    John McDonough asked if I would post this reply for him.....
    
   **********************************************************************
    
    
	"Where to Bury a Dog" was written in September of 1925 by Ben Hur Lamp-
man, a journalist and sportsman. It has been blatantly plagiarized and 
re-focussed around a Cat...because the principle is the same...

                          Where to Bury a Cat

	We would say that there are various places in which a Cat may be
buried. We are thinking particularly now of a Kitty who, so far as we are
aware, never entertained a mean or an unworthy thought. This Cat is buried
beneath a cherry tree, under four feet of garden loam, and at its proper
season the cherry strews petals on the green lawn of his or her grave.
Beneath such trees, such shrubs, she dozed in the drowsy summer, or gnawed
at a fragrant spear of catnip, or flattened to stalk some intrusive bird, 
or pounced in joy upon some unsuspecting leaf, or chased a pretty butterfly.
These are good places, in life or in death. Yet it is a small matter.
For if the Cat be well remembered, if sometimes she/he leaps through your 
dreams...actual as in life, eyes sparkling, laughing, begging, it matters 
not at all where that Cat sleeps. On a hill where the wind is unrebuked, 
and the trees are roaring, or beside a stream she knew in kittenhood, 
where she stalked ferocious frogs and grasshoppers, or somewhere in the
flatness of a pastureland, where most exhilerating cattle graze. It is all
one to the Cat, and all one to you, and nothing is gained, and nothing lost -
if memory lives. 
        But there is one best place to bury a Cat.......
	If you bury her in this spot, she will come to you when you 
call - come to you over the grim, dim frontiers of death, and down 
well-remembered path, and to your lap again. And though you call a 
dozen living cats to lap, they shall not growl nor hiss at her, nor 
resent her coming, for she belongs there.
        People may scoff at you, who see no lightest blade of grass bent 
by her footfall, who hear no soft "mrrroow?",  people who may never REALLY
have had a Cat.. Smile at them, for you shall know something that is 
hidden from them, and which is well worth the knowing....That the ONE
best place to bury a Cat is in the heart of its master.....



				
    

    Barbara-
    
    Our condolences.  Your send off sounded wonderful, and touching.
    I'm in tears as well after reading it.
    
    Michele & Nippa
    

Sniff sniff......Eb couldn't have asked for anything more.  And thanks for
being brave enough to share with us.  It couldn't have been easy for you and
it helps when so many of us share the pain.

Mary

Your note was very close to what I have been through 
with each of the cats that I have had put down. I
have never lived in a place of my own and I wish I 
could have given them such a resting place. Thank you 
for caring for Ebony so much it helped me with my 
memories too.

Jack