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Conference misery::feline

Title:Meower Power - Where Differing Opinions are Respected
Notice:purrrrr...
Moderator:JULIET::CORDES_JA
Created:Wed Nov 13 1991
Last Modified:Fri Jun 06 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:1079
Total number of notes:28858

761.0. "MISSING ARTICLE/POEM" by FMAJOR::WALTER (used to be Aquilia) Fri May 20 1994 14:21

    A few years ago I saw an article I believe in this file that was a
    bunch of rules that cats have.  It went something like,
    
    If a pencil is on the table, we must make sure we toss it off
    If owner goes to the bathroom, we must accompany them.
    
    I have done several dir/title of different things but can't find it.
    Can someone help?  I would like to get it for my parents who have 
    a kitty now but don't believe all the things that she does are normal
    for a kitty.
    
    Thanks in advance,
    
    cj
    
T.RTitleUserPersonal
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761.1AYRPLN::VENTURAEcstasy beyond purrs...Fri May 20 1994 15:1410
    cj,
    
    If it was a few years ago, It's probably in FELINE_V1.  Same node name
    as this, but the conference name is FELINE_V1.
    
    Hope you find it!  If you do, why not post it here?
    
    
    Holly
    
761.2need help please!FMAJOR::WALTERused to be AquiliaFri May 20 1994 16:099
    Good idea but I still can't find it.  Does anyone have any ideas on
    what I should search for?  I did
    
    dir/title=article
              all
    	      rule
              
    Thanks..
    cj
761.3AYRPLN::VENTURAEcstasy beyond purrs...Fri May 20 1994 16:206
    dir/title=poetry
    	      quote
    
    Maybe that will help?
    
    H
761.4HELIX::SKALTSISDebFri May 20 1994 17:2113
    well, there are two possibilities. you can extract note 3.1 for a
    directory listing of the old file, and 3.last of the current file
    and look for a title of what might be what you are looking. The SEARCH
    command would be useful in looking through it foe words like "humor,
    funny, etc).
    
    An alternative would be if you remember a phrase in the note to use the
    NOTES SEARCH command for the phrase. 
    
    I also suspect that what the author of th base note is looking for is
    in the archived file.
    
    Deb
761.5got it from 3.1 listing!FMAJOR::WALTERused to be AquiliaMon May 23 1994 11:2010
    
    Thanks for all your help.  I found it!  Course I found lots of other
    interesting stuff that I had put about my babies years ago, other
    friends and their stories, etc.  It will be fun to re-read them.
    
    It was note 1572.  I will post it next.  Its a list of do's and don't
    for kitties.  
    
    cj
    
761.6Kitty Etiquette, knew it from the name!FMAJOR::WALTERused to be AquiliaMon May 23 1994 11:2265
             <<< MISERY::APPLE$:[NOTES$LIBRARY]FELINE_V1.NOTE;1 >>>
                    -< Meower Power is Valuing Differences >-
================================================================================
Note 1572.0                     'KITTY ETIQUETTE"                      4 replies
OFFRT9::HLEINONEN                                    59 lines  20-JUL-1988 20:20
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 

		          "KITTY ETIQUETTE"
     
     
     A LIST OF DO'S AND DON'TS:
     
     1.  If you have to throw up, quickly get into a chair or onto the 
         couch.  If you cannot manage this in time, get on an oriental 
         rug.  Lacking an oriental, shag is good.  
     
     2.  Guests -- about them.  When walking on the table amongst the dishes
         after dinner, be prepared to look surprised and hurt when chided.
	 The idea is to convey "but you let me do it when there's no
	 company!"  
     
         Quickly determine which guest hates cats.  Sit on his/her lap during 
         the evening -- they won't dare push you off and will probably call 
         you "nice kitty."  If you can arrange to have fish breath, so 
         much the better.  
     
         For lap-sitting or trouser leg-rubbing, select colors which 
         contrast with your own 
         ie: for Siamese-color cats -- black wool is always best.  
     
         Always accompany guest to bathroom.  It is not necessary to do 
         anything, just sit and stare.  
     
         For guests who say "I just love kitties", be ready with (a) aloof
	 distain, (b) claws applied to stockings, and/or (c) quick, sharp
	 nip on the ankles.
     
     3.  Doors -- about them.  Do not allow closed doors in any room.  To 
         get one open, stand on hind legs and hammer with paws.  Once the 
         door is opened it is not necessary to use it, you can change
         your mind.  When you have ordered the outdoor door opened, stand 
         half in and half out and think about several things.  This is 
         particularly important during very cold weather and in mosquito 
         season.  Don't worry -- they will not close the door on you.  
         Avoid swinging doors.
     
     4.  Hampering.  If one of them is busy and the other is idle, sit 
         with the busy one.  The main rules of hampering are: (a) For
	 book readers, get in close under the chin (unless, of course,
	 you can lie across the book itself).  (b) For people knitting,
	 curl up quietly in the lap and pretend to doze.  When the
	 knitter's guard is relaxed, reach out and sharply slap the
	 knitting needles.  This causes what the knitters call a "dropped
	 stitch".  She will try to distract you -- ignore it.  (c)  For
	 people doing paper work, sit on the paper being worked on.
	 After being removed for the second time, push anything movable
	 off the table -- pens, pencils, stamps -- one at a time.
     
     5.  Sleep habits.  Get enough sleep during the daytime so you are 
         fresh for playing "catch mousey on the hill" on the bed between
         2 and 4 am.
     
    
                                               
761.7AKOCOA::LEINONENFri May 27 1994 16:307
    
    Wow!
    
    That's weird - seeing somthing you wrote 6 years ago coming back to
    haunt you! I was working in Westboro, on Flanders Road at the time.....
    
    Heidi