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Conference lgp30::christian-perspective

Title:Discussions from a Christian Perspective
Notice:Prostitutes and tax collectors welcome!
Moderator:CSC32::J_CHRISTIE
Created:Mon Sep 17 1990
Last Modified:Fri Jun 06 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:1362
Total number of notes:61362

580.0. "How do people change?" by CSC32::J_CHRISTIE (Peace Warrior) Tue Jan 05 1993 15:14

According to Morris Massey, a professor at the University of Colorado at
Boulder, the sole factor that causes change in people is what he calls an
SEE, a Significant Emotional Experience.  It has little to do with logic
and reasoning abilities.

Some say change must come from the inside, that one's behavior is a
manifestation of what one thinks, feels and believes.

Some say, and this is interesting to me, that if one's behavior changes,
then what one thinks, feels and believes will change.

How do you think people change?

Peace,
Richard

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580.1JURAN::VALENZACow patterned noter.Tue Jan 05 1993 15:5239
    It has been my experience that I tend to become comfortable with my
    given life situation, and more so the longer I continue in that state. 
    I think that there is no question that being forced to re-evaluate your
    life by some significant event that is thrust at you against your
    wishes is a major factor for change.  I don't know if Massey is right
    that it is the sole reason or not, but it is clearly an important
    factor.

    One of the things that I have been thinking about a lot lately is the
    fact that I really can't take things for granted.  Having parents 40
    years older than you, and watching them grow old, can have an impact on
    your view of life while you are still young.  I envy those people whose
    parents were in their twenties when they were born, and whose parents
    continue fairly healthy lives on to ripe old ages; their parents are
    still lively and healthy throughout most of their own lives.  In my
    case, at nearly age 33, I can see my parents bodies deteriorating
    significantly before my eyes.  My father is on dialysis, my mother is
    going deaf, and both of them are showing physical signs of old age.

    And then my brother, who is six years older, just recently discovered
    that he has MS.  Having a sibling with MS reduces the odds that you
    will get it from 1000 to 1 to between 50 and 100 to 1.  I am still
    safer from MS than I am from a Digital layoff, which is not exactly a
    consolation either.  Digital, a company that once did very well, with a
    long tradition of laying people off that is now forgotten--is not the
    same place to work for anymore.

    Our health, our jobs, our lives--we all get settled into our lifestyles
    and take them for granted.  But our lives are not as secure as we think
    they are, and inevitably we get jarred back into reality by some
    unexpected change.  If we don't die violent or accidental deaths, then
    we can expect to die from the decay of our own bodies, from things
    going wrong or breaking down.  Those events can change us, our outlook. 
    Maybe it *is* better to have older parents, so that I don't take my own
    life so much for granted, but I have become much more aware of my own
    mortality, perhaps too much so for a 33-year-old man who, with the
    exception of high cholesterol, is in good health.

    -- Mike
580.2CSC32::J_CHRISTIEPeace WarriorTue Jan 05 1993 18:3513
Mike .1,

	It sounds like you've experienced an SEE.  Cerebrally, you already
knew that as you get older your family gets older.  The term *significant*
doesn't necessarily mean you were struck by lightning.  But it does mean you've
experienced some discomfort or perhaps some other significant emotion.

	My priorities, too, have changed with age (which incidentally is
more than a decade greater than yours).

Peace be with you,
Richard

580.3CSC32::J_CHRISTIEPeace WarriorTue Jan 05 1993 18:557
Interesting that Jesus told us to love our enemies and to pray for the benefit
of those who persecute us and say vile things against us.

This calls for behavior which overrides our normal inclinations, does it not?

Peace,
Richard
580.4JURAN::VALENZACow patterned noter.Tue Jan 05 1993 23:597
    I've experience several SEE's lately.  Somehow I feel older than I used
    to.
    
    That isn't to say that I feel like an adult yet, I might add.  Just an
    older child.
    
    -- Mike
580.5Just don't sing that song again!CSC32::J_CHRISTIEPeace WarriorWed Jan 06 1993 14:315
    As I recall, your birthday is coming up soon.  (Mine was yesterday. 
    That's how I remember)  Could this have a bearing on your feelings?
    
    Pax, not pox,
    Richard
580.6DEMING::VALENZACow patterned noter.Wed Jan 06 1993 14:3410
    Very good, Richard--you remembered.  I still have my Shalom cup, by the
    way.
    
    I'm not sure if the birthday means anything to me or not.  The
    transition from 32 to 33 doesn't seem to carry quite the same
    significance as, say, from 29 to 30.  I do plan on celebrating my LP
    day later this year, however (LP day being my 33 and a third birthday,
    some 122 days after my 33rd.)
    
    -- Mike
580.71948 - it was a very good year ;')UHUH::REINKEFormerly FlahertyWed Jan 06 1993 15:066
Happy belated Birthday wishes and hugs, Richard!

Love,

Ro

580.8ShalomJURAN::VALENZACow patterned noter.Wed Jan 06 1993 15:103
    Yes, a belated happy birthday to Richard.
    
    -- Mike
580.9CSC32::J_CHRISTIEPeace WarriorWed Jan 06 1993 15:2512
.7 Thanks, Ro!  Yeah, all the good-looking people were born in 1948.

.6 Mike,  re: the Shalom cup.  I like to give coffee mugs as gifts.

You may be interested to know that Sister Joan Brown is leaving Colorado
Springs to live and work in the Las Vegas area.  Her farewell party will be
this coming Sunday evening and I have another mug as a gift for her.  Her
mug says something like:  "Official Department of Defense Mug," then it has
a price tag - $3178.00. ;-)

Peace,
Richard
580.10a few cents worth...BSS::VANFLEETRepeal #2Thu Jan 07 1993 14:539
    I think that an SEE often triggers a change but, ultimately a change in
    belief always preceeds a lasting change.  In my experience, if what I  
    believe about myself and my life doesn't change then, eventually, I
    wind up back in the same old rut.  Changing your thinking and beliefs
    about life may begin with some kind of traumatic event but unless it's
    followed up with a concious commitment to the change it won't last very
    long.  
    
    Nanci  
580.11CSC32::J_CHRISTIEDeclare Peace!Wed May 12 1993 22:258
Sandy 4.288,

	It sounds to me that you had what Massey calls an SEE, a significant
emotional experience.  Massey claims that not only does an SEE trigger
change, he says it's the only thing that does!

Richard

580.12RIPPLE::BRUSO_SAHorn players have more brassWed May 12 1993 22:2817
            <<< Note 580.11 by CSC32::J_CHRISTIE "Declare Peace!" >>>

>Sandy 4.288,

	>It sounds to me that you had what Massey calls an SEE, a significant
>emotional experience.  Massey claims that not only does an SEE trigger
>change, he says it's the only thing that does!

>Richard


Sounds serious, Richard.  Should I get help for it?  :^)


Sandy


580.13CSC32::J_CHRISTIEDeclare Peace!Wed May 12 1993 22:304
    .12  No, not necessarily. :-)
    
    Richard