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Conference lgp30::christian-perspective

Title:Discussions from a Christian Perspective
Notice:Prostitutes and tax collectors welcome!
Moderator:CSC32::J_CHRISTIE
Created:Mon Sep 17 1990
Last Modified:Fri Jun 06 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:1362
Total number of notes:61362

407.0. "The Chaplaincy/Caregiving Ministry" by CSC32::J_CHRISTIE (Peace: the Final Frontier) Mon Feb 17 1992 17:42

A chaplain, to me, is a kind of caregiver, a caregiver who reflects
[represents, emulates, symbolizes] to others the caring love of God.
One need not be a chaplain in order to practice this kind of caring,
however.  The following lists some essential components of a ministry
of caring:

o  Listen.  Consider it a privilege to share the pain and heartache of
   those who are willing to do so with you.  It is equally a privilege
   to share someone's joy and tears of happiness.  When others open
   themselves to you, it shows that they trust you.  It is a trust not
   to be taken lightly.

   Try to steer away from dwelling at length on superficial or impersonal
   topics; the weather, sports.

o  Give no advice.  This is a very difficult thing for many caregivers
   to do.  Almost as if by instinct, caregivers feel a need to "mend"
   situations and "rescue" those who are hurting.  Even when they ask,
   "What should I do?" they may really be saying, "I know what to do, but
   what I really need is your support."

   Never criticize, belittle or dismiss someone's feelings.

o  Encourage.  You encourage when you care, when you take the time to be
   with someone, when you show through your gestures and simple responses
   that you understand.  Be attentive.  Sit close.  Make eye contact.
   When possible and mutually comfortable to do so, touch a hand, an arm,
   a shoulder.  Avoid leaning on anyone.

o  Pray.  People won't always ask for prayer, but they may want the comfort
   that comes from someone else talking to God about their needs.  If you're
   comfortable doing so, ask if you may pray with them.

o  Stay in touch.  Don't be available just when they initiate contact.  Make
   phone calls that simply say, "I was just thinking about you."

o  Enlist.  If you're busy, perhaps you could enlist someone to call
   regularly and then keep you informed.

Peace,
Richard
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407.1Do we have something in common or what?SWAM1::DOTHARD_STPLAYTOEMon Feb 17 1992 18:2931
    RE: Basenote
    
    CAREGIVING!  First, let me say I agree 100% with this as the crux of
    the call into the MINISTRY.  
    
    Secondly, I'm wondering is this mere coincidence or is their some
    reason for your starting this topic today?  I ask you this because last
    night I watched the movie "In the Best Interest of the Children", and
    this morning it came to me, the following idea!  
    
    You've heard of INTERCESSARY PRAYER, RIGHT?  Well how about...
    
                            Intercessory CARE
    
    A program where instead of removing kids from homes to Foster Care, we
    would place caring people IN the homes of single parent families,
    teenage-mother-headed families, undereducated-parent headed families,
    to help guide that family into better ways of living on a DAILY basis.  
    
    
    
    I felt that the main problem with the mother in the movie was not so
    much Manic-Depressive problems, but the lack of daily guidance and
    support...even to helping them go about developing a proper
    relationship with a man in the light of her situation.  
    
    
    
    Did you see that movie and was inspired by it to start this note?
    
    Playtoe
407.2CSC32::J_CHRISTIEPeace: the Final FrontierMon Feb 17 1992 19:345
Actually, I started the note last Friday offline and didn't see the movie
last evening.  I was at church! 8-}

Peace,
Richard
407.3I can relate to that to!SWAM1::DOTHARD_STPLAYTOEMon Feb 17 1992 20:0910
    Re: 2
    
    That's good to know!  As it keeps this sort of spirituality in the same
    light as I've always found it.  The inspiration for this idea is not in
    the movie itself, but from above, a "pouring out of the Spirit" upon
    us....it's a "social empathy" thing.
    
    It happens all the time...
    
    Playtoe
407.4CSC32::J_CHRISTIEPeace ReservistWed Jun 17 1992 01:4115
A couple of things I learned early on in my training as a chaplain were:

1.  Do not defend God, the Bible or the church.  It is neither a necessary
    nor godly thing to do.  Besides, if a wall cannot withstand a few tomatoes
    hurled against it, then it wasn't very substantial wall to begin with.

2.  Do not rush in and rescue people.  It invalidates, alienates and
    often humiliates people.

Of course, these guidelines are easier to verbalize than to practice.  Our
pride, our sense of loyalty and sense of duty often cause us to react in ways
which do not promote healing.

Peace,
Richard
407.5I See Your PainCSC32::J_CHRISTIEPeace ReservistTue Jun 23 1992 20:1926
I see your pain
  and want to bannish it
    with the wave of a star,
but have no star.

I see your tears
  and want to dry them
    with the hem of an angel's gown,
but have no angel.

I see your heart fallen to the ground
  and want to return it
   wrapped in cloths woven of rainbows,
but have no rainbow.

God is the One
  who has stars, and angels and rainbows,
and I am the one
 God sends to sit beside you
  until the stars come out
   and the angels dry your tears
    and your heart is back in place,
     rainbow blessed.

						-Ann Barr Weems
						 Searching for Shalom
407.6When We Dare to CareCSC32::J_CHRISTIEStrength through peaceTue Dec 01 1992 22:31118
				How can we become
				        a
			        caring community?

			 A community of people not trying
			        to cover the pain
				        or
			           to avoid it
			    by sophisticated bypasses
				       but
				 rather share it
			           as a source
				   of healing
			         and new life?...

			         ...often we keep
			         the greatest gift
				      to HEAL
				    hidden from
				    each other.

				 Every human being
				    has a great,
				        yet
				   often unknown,
				   gift to CARE
				       to be
				  compassionate...

			       If that gift could be
				      set free
					and
				   made available,
			     MIRACLES could take place.

			       Those who can really
				      receive
			       bread from a stranger
					and
				 smile in gratitude,
				   can feed many
				      without
				 even realizing it...

			        Why is it we keep that
				  great gift of CARE
			         hidden so deeply?...

				Why are smiles still
				     hard to get
					and
				  words of comfort
					so
			       difficult to come by?...

				   Why do we keep
				      bypassing
				  each other always
				    on the way to
				      something
				      or someone
				   more important?

				    Maybe simply
			      because we ourselves are
				    so concerned
				   to be different
				   from the others
				 that we do not even
				   allow ourselves
				     to lay down
				   our heavy armor
					 and
				   come together in
				        mutual
				   vulnerability...

				    To CARE means
				    first of all
				      to empty
				     our own cup
				 and allow the other
				 to come close to us.

				   Then we discover
				     that nothing
				        human
				   is foreign to us,
				       but that
					 all
				 the hatred and love,
				cruelty and compassion,
				     fear and joy
				can be found in our own
				        hearts.

				 By honest recognition
					 and
			       confession of our sameness
				          we
				    can participate
					in the
				      care of God,
				        who came,
				  not to the powerful,
				  but to the powerless,

				Not to take away our pain
				     but to share it.

			      Through this participation
				we can open our hearts
				    to each other
					 and
				      form a new
				       community.

					             -- Henri Nouwen
407.7CSC32::J_CHRISTIEPs. 85.10Thu Oct 05 1995 14:3710
    As abhorrent as it may seem to who believe it central to Christianity,
    having been trained as a chaplain at a hospital run by the Sisters of
    Mercy and Franciscan Sisters, and having served the dying and their
    loved ones in that capacity on several occasions, I can assure you it
    was never considered a foremost duty to seize the moment and solicit
    acceptance of Jesus as one's personal savior.
    
    Shalom,
    Richard
    
407.8MKOTS3::JMARTINI press on toward the goalThu Oct 05 1995 14:456
    That's too bad Richard...in my opinion.  
    
    I believe deathbed conversions to be amongst the most rewarding gift of
    our faith.  
    
    -Jack
407.9DECALP::GUTZWILLERhappiness- U want what U haveThu Oct 05 1995 14:487
richard, what is the difference between a chaplain and a priest?

i don't know what the term chaplain is referring to.



andreas.
407.10CSC32::J_CHRISTIEPs. 85.10Thu Oct 05 1995 15:0112
    .8
    
    As I stated in .7, I knew it would be.
    
    But if you were on the verge of dying and a Buddhist or Moslim were to
    attempt to effect an urgent conversion on you and your family, think
    how you might feel.
    
    Also, read .0.
    
    Richard
    
407.11MKOTS3::JMARTINI press on toward the goalThu Oct 05 1995 15:0914
    Gosh...nevermind being a Buddhist.  Michele has an aunt on the verge of
    death who was born in a non practicing Catholic family.  Michele went
    down to her house to ask her if she would ask Jesus to come into heart
    and save her so that she can spend eternity with Him.  Aunt Terry was
    less than congenial and stated she was religious and is fine with
    herself.
    
    Coldly rejecting the message of salvation...but Michele was there to
    hold her hand for awhile anyway.  Now Richard, when Aunt Terry passes
    away in a few hours/days, and is either with Christ or without Christ,
    then what possible difference will it make that Michele held Aunt
    Terry's hand?  What possible difference?
    
    -Jack
407.12CSC32::J_CHRISTIEPs. 85.10Thu Oct 05 1995 15:1318
    .9
    
    The simple answer is that I was a chaplain, but not a Roman Catholic
    priest. ;-)
    
    Speaking broadly, a chaplain serves an institution outside the church
    which may incorporate a chapel.
    
    Not being a Roman Catholic priest, I would be off limits administering
    last rites or the Eucharist.  I had a telephone number to a beeper
    should such an occasion arise during my shift.
    
    I served all varieties of Christians, Jews and even a few agostics and
    atheists.
    
    Shalom,
    Richard
    
407.13CSC32::J_CHRISTIEPs. 85.10Thu Oct 05 1995 15:157
    .11
    
    I'm afraid I believe that God is bigger than that, and that with God all
    things are possible.
    
    Richard
    
407.14MKOTS3::JMARTINI press on toward the goalThu Oct 05 1995 15:231
    Bigger than....what are you saying!?
407.15APACHE::MYERSHe literally meant it figurativelyThu Oct 05 1995 16:2424
    
    re .11

    I believe I am "saved" and that God cares and loves me dearly and will
    comfort my spirit beyond this earthly life. I also suspect many of the
    more fundamentalist Christians would not consider me "saved." My point
    is, if I was on my death-bed and someone came to me suggesting I was
    going to Hell unless I followed their view of salvation, I would be a
    bit annoyed.

    It took the disciples years of daily contact with Jesus to become fully
    aware of his greatness. How can one on their death-bed reasonably be
    expected to comprehend "accepting Jesus as their personal savior?" I
    think so-called death-bed conversions make the missionary feel warm and
    fuzzy, but I wonder if the convertee fully comprehends. It's not as
    simple as saying the magic words, is it?
    
    If you want to bring a dying person the gospel, come to them with
    unconditional love and compassion. Demonstrate the fruits of your
    Christianity before you demand anything of them.

    	Eric 

    
407.16MKOTS3::JMARTINI press on toward the goalThu Oct 05 1995 16:3129
    ZZZ    loving God with all my heart 
    
    Interesting.  I am reminded of the mother of two apostles.  She asked
    Jesus if they could each sit at his side...one on the right and the
    other on the left.  Jesus asked her if they were indeed willing to
    drink from the cup He was going to drink from.  Her reply was yes.
    
    The cup they drank from was indeed suffering and death.  They died
    because they spoke of the words of the messiah...and martyrdom awaited
    them.  They loved God with their whole heart.
    
    Remember the account at the end of the gospel... "Jesus said, Peter do
    you love me.  Peter became indignent and for the third time replied,
    Yes Lord, you know I love you.  Jesus said unto him, Feed my sheep. 
    For behold, when you were young you were but a child and went wherever
    you wished.  But when you become old you will not go where you wish to.
    Thou shall stretch forth thy hand and another will gird thee, and will
    carry you where you do not want to go."  
    
    Tradition tells us Peter was crucified upside down.  He was also in
    jail a few times, whipped and left for dead.
    
    Loving God with thy whole heart has a heavy price Eric.  Each example
    of somebody loving God with their whole heart involved sharing the
    gospel, in difficult circumstances no less, and eventual death.
    Be careful not to confuse the gospel with the social gospel.  The
    social gospel does not redeem.
    
    -Jack
407.17CSC32::J_CHRISTIEPs. 85.10Thu Oct 05 1995 17:006
    The gospel and the social gospel are so inextricably interwoven
    that one would be in serious error to try to pry them apart.
    Such distinctions are not Hebrew in origin.
    
    Richard
    
407.18APACHE::MYERSHe literally meant it figurativelyThu Oct 05 1995 17:0113
    
    I am commanded to love God with all my heart, not with all Peter's
    heart, or Paul's heart, or Jack's heart. No doubt I could do better,
    though. We are not all given the same "to-do" list, nor the same gifts.
    If God told me to jump as high as I could, would you slight me for not
    being an Olympic champion? 

    Martyrdom is not something to strive for, something I think the
    hardcore fundamentalists miss. It is a possible outcome of being true
    to you faith in God, just as dying in a war is possible, but not the
    goal.

    Eric
407.19APACHE::MYERSHe literally meant it figurativelyThu Oct 05 1995 17:027
    
    > The gospel and the social gospel are so inextricably interwoven that
    > one would be in serious error to try to pry them apart. Such
    > distinctions are not Hebrew in origin.
    
    Bravo! and well put.
    
407.20MKOTS3::JMARTINI press on toward the goalThu Oct 05 1995 17:054
    Martyrdom was in that time something that would be
    assumed...considering the plight of Israel under the Roman Empire.
    
    -Jack
407.21DECALP::GUTZWILLERhappiness- U want what U haveThu Oct 05 1995 17:0916
re .15


eric, your note reminds me of a little anectode which happened in 
our family.


my elder sister, who not so long ago became a fundamental christian 
went to our grandmother saying: "grandma, you'll be dying soon, you 
need to convert."

grandmother retorted: "i am old enoguh to know better!"



andreas.