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Conference lgp30::christian-perspective

Title:Discussions from a Christian Perspective
Notice:Prostitutes and tax collectors welcome!
Moderator:CSC32::J_CHRISTIE
Created:Mon Sep 17 1990
Last Modified:Fri Jun 06 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:1362
Total number of notes:61362

320.0. "Church Separation Anxiety" by CSC32::J_CHRISTIE (Watch your peace & cues) Mon Sep 23 1991 21:43

Dave Dawson's prayer request (Note 213.94) has prompted me to recall
about the times I too have experienced the severance a of relationship
with a church to which I had become quite attached.

The city in which I is live a basically a small town.  Its not a rare thing
to see people you recognize out in public.  Last Saturday evening, for
example, Sharon and I were out seeing a musical revue at Colorado College
called "War, Women & Song."  There was a couple there we knew from our former
church.  We exchanged happy greetings.  They asked about our well-being and
told us we were missed at church.

Variations of this scenario have occurred numerous times in the last 12 or
so months.  Sharon and I presently have no plans to reunite with this
particular congregation, and our feelings are too complicated to explain
to the folks we just happen to bump into at the supermarket or elsewhere.

It is sometimes a very painful process to separate from the people with whom
you've become close through worship and fellowship.

Richard
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320.1a ramblin' replyLJOHUB::NSMITHrises up with eagle wingsMon Sep 23 1991 23:2935
    Considering leaving a church really makes you think through your
    theology -- at least it does me.  
    
    We had a pastor for *seven years* who was an exceptionally poor preacher 
    (in my opinion) and I grew really hungry for some substance in the 
    sermons.  But I believe that to join a church is to join a 
    "covenant COMMUNITY of believers" -- not a matter of joining a pastor 
    or a preacher.  I think that following a "personality cult" is wrong.
    
    Besides that, my church is in the community where I live.  (I feel that
    God wants me to "bloom where I'm planted.")  If I left it, 
    I would have to go to another town or city or change denominations.  
    If I am to be a part of the ministry of the laity, then I need to
    do that in my own community -- and I did not want to change
    denominations.  So I stayed.  We have another pastor now; he's better,
    though not as good a preacher as some larger city churches are able
    to afford.
    
    (And I continue to love and cherish the members of my covenant community
    -- including our former and present pastors -- and to be blessed by 
    belonging to/with them.)
    
    Another issue that is common but that I haven't yet had to face is when
    major conflicts or power struggles arise that cannot be resolved.  I
    think it's unrealistic to expect people who belong to churches to be
    free of "politics" -- we are, after all, human.  But some people are
    quick to leave a church as soon as its members behave in a
    less-than-Christian manner.  On the other hand, some churches are
    unwilling or unable to deal constructively with conflict and to resolve
    it!  (We had to do that last summer, and it was an emotionally
    wrenching process.)
    
    I think I'm rambling, so I'll stop.... :}
    
    Nancy
320.2DPDMAI::DAWSONLooking for realityTue Sep 24 1991 11:1528
    
             Thank you Richard, this is a place I can "vent".  I have been
    a Southern Baptist for close to 20 years now though I grew up as kind
    of Methodist.  I have been a member of this church for 12 years and
    have taught various Bible classes throughout my time there.  Over the
    last several years I became less and less active in all the various
    church activities until I really was only teaching while sometimes
    going to the other get togethers.  This last sunday I was approached by
    the head of the deacons and told that since I was not as active as they
    wanted there sunday school teachers I was being replaced.  White hot
    anger was my first response.....there had been *NO* indication of any
    kind of these thoughts and certainly no "comming to me as a brother" to
    ask about the situation.  After Talking to my Pastor I decided to leave
    and really was asked by him not to return because I told him that I
    would have to be honest to the class about why I was asked to committ
    to further activities or be replaced.  He didn't want this information
    given to the classes.  To be honest..I'm not sure why.  
    
           So....wheeee!  All that to say that I may not be southern
    Baptist anymore.  I am really looking for a different denomination that
    will allow me to teach and preach honestly about the Bible as I read
    and study it.  I may be looking for a long time. :-}  I have, for a
    long time, been somewhat frustrated with traditional views of the
    southern Baptists that are not cemented in Biblical truth.
    
    
    
    Dave
320.3wish I had a churchCVG::THOMPSONRadical CentralistTue Sep 24 1991 12:4131
    I haven't had a regular church since I moved to New England. It's
    not a comfortable situation. I grew up a preacher's kid and always
    went to church. Church was much of my social life. It's where I
    met my wife. But going to a church other than my fathers was always
    hard for me. Why I'm not sure. Part of it may be that he is a great
    preacher and many others don't measure up. part of it may be that as
    a PK I was treated a little special and it's hard to give that up.
    I'm not really sure.

    When I went to college I went to church fairly regularly  my first
    three years. A different church every year. None of them fit me. I
    attended Methodist, Mennonite, and Quaker churches those years. They
    were all nice and the fellowship was good but I do not develop
    friendships easily or quickly. The school year made it harder.

    Since I've been in New England I've tried a bunch of churches and did
    spend quite a while attending a Baptist church. But they were, at the
    time, a very introverted church with *no* outreach to the community.
    If you came you were welcome but no one went to ask you. And they would
    not even support bringing people in by letting other organizations in
    town use their facilities. That's changed since then but I've been
    hesitant about going back.

    I still attended my father's church from time to time. Even when he
    changed church. Now he doesn't have a church, though his wife does.
    8-10 hours is a bit far to drive to church regularly though. :-(

    I really admire people who can move to a new area, find a church, and
    get right into things. I wish I could but so far I can't.

    			Alfred