Conference lgp30::christian-perspective

    1. All the rules other people put on me as to why I'm not
    a Christian by their rules.
    
    2. Living up to the standards that I've been taught about
    what it means to be a Christian.
    
    Easiest, accepting God's and Jesus's love for me.

    Bonnie's #1 is high on my list, too, but the HARDEST part is trying to
    let my non- and ex- christian friends know that I'm a christian without
    scaring them into thinking I'm going to try to SAVE them. For many
    people the term "Christian" has taken on a Fundementalist and an
    Evangelical sub-text to which they have a strongly negative reaction. I
    can understand the reaction, and it hurts a little to have it attached
    to me.
    	Living up to my standards is usually not too difficult, yet
    sometimes it is quite a struggle and at other times I discover, in
    retrospect, that I failed without recognizing the danger.

    I had a number of things to say when I first opened this
    reply but they're gone now. I guess that there are two:

    The rules other place on me (as Bonnie) said. And dealing with
    the people who believe all the "bad Press" Christians keep
    getting. Those two things hurt. Being misunderstood, which
    both those things represent to me, is one of the most painful
    things that happen. It can be tempting to chuck the whole
    religion thing and not believe anything just to be understood.
    People seem to have fewer rules and higher regard for non-believers
    then for believers these days. Maybe that's really only one
    thing. Keeping the faith when all around you say it's wrong.

    Living up to the standards I was taught is, for me at least,
    pretty easy. They're not tough. Love and respect for others.
    But living up to the standards is part an parcel to the faith
    I have. Not meaning to suggest that others who have trouble
    with standards have less faith BTW. I suspect that Bonnie and
    I have equally strong faiths (to pick on someone I know and
    respect) but that we have incorporated that faith and those
    standards into ourselves differently.

    For me faith and standards are totally inseparable. To lose
    faith means the complete and total loss of *all* standards.
    To lose any standard is a devastating attack at the roots of
    my faith. In a way these reinforce each other. To consider
    losing the standards that run my life helps me to hold on
    to the faith during times of weakness. Without belief in G-d
    I literally can not conceive of rules being binding on me.
    Any rules. Without G-d, for me, right and wrong seize to have
    meaning. That is an inconceivable state. It is not logical
    for there to be no rules so G-d must exist.

    On the other hand if G-d does exist and does set rules then
    he must help me to uphold them. And I believe He does. I don't
    belief He puts any temptation before us that we cannot, with
    His help, resist. Any test He places before us must also, by
    definition, be fair regardless of how it may appear to us or
    to others. (Remember Job?) So failures to follow standards are
    mine (and they do happen) but the bigger the transgression the
    easier to resist.

    Sorry if I don't make any sense or if I wax too philosophical
    but it works for me tonight.

    			Alfred

I kept thinking that this might be my last note.

My hardest road is keeping out of God's way when it comes to my
life. I have ahd a hard time finding work since 7 December since
I choose to go on transition. Now, I received that exit package
with some breathing space and some time to REALLY look at where
the Lord is leading me. With me leading the way, I find myself at
tight corners that have very little wiggle room.

I thought that my latest up and down ride with the job hunt was
such an event; He came and blocked the job offer and I am
greatful to find out that I might have joined a group that was
targeted for down sizing within the next year when DEC
consolidates the services group under Digital Services.

My second hardest are the folks who button hole me and say that I
am wrong; then quote some scripture to back up their statement.
Jesus seldom was angered. He overthrew the money changers for
more than doing business in the temple. He wanted people to offer
what they had; no to change the roman coins for shacles so they
can make their offering.

lastly, the easiest is to thank God for the beauty of the
Rockies. It's out my front window; it's within 20 minutes from
the Springs to be in the middle of His creation (and in my
humble, unbiased opinion, the most georgeous on earth!)

Rejoycing with our Risen Lord.

Calvin

Constantly failing to live up to God's Will for me

The hardest thing for me is to be able to offer an assertive witness
and ministry that is neither too reluctant (passive) nor too pushy
(aggressive) -- neither self-effacing nor prideful:  I guess I'm talking 
about pride! 

I find myself thinking I'm more important than I am -- thinking I've got 
all these special talents and skills, etc. -- but when I contemplate *that*
thought too much, then I tend to get down on myself and think it's
presumptuous of me to do *anything*!  (A nice way to evade God's call, eh?)

I think I ought to be able to make people's problems and hurts go away.  
I mean, if they'd just do and experience what *I've* done and experienced,
everything would be great -- right?  After all *I* have all the answers --
right?  (You don't have to be a biblical literalist to think this way,
you know!)

I want to defend people under attack -- whether they *want/need* defending
ot not!  And I have trouble letting people I care about experience and deal
with their own pain in their own way.  I want to "fix" things.  A friend of
mine describes this as wanting to work her "mother magic," especially with her
grown children!  But when kids get big, "mother magic" doesn't work any more!
And *my* religious experience won't work for everyone else 'cause God made us
all different and we've all lived different lives to get to this point in time.

Still, I believe I have something to offer, and figuring out how, when, and
where to offer it is a constant problem....

Oh yeah, another thing - my "spiritual disciplines" are almost zilch!  So 
who am I to think I can serve...

(Gee, what a downer this is!  I'm gonna stop right now!)

Nancy

    Nancy (.6),
    
    I think you are a wonderful witness by your example.  I've found 
    your notes to always be inspiriational.  From the women's groups and
    work I'm involved in, I find that women (in general) are harder on
    themselves than others.  Be kind to yourself.
    
    Hugs,
    
    Ro
    
    
    

    
    	My hardest problem in being a christian is in discerning the
    spirits.  There are many voices, many different spirits pulling in one
    direction or the other.  Trying to convince me that it really doesn't
    matter that things don't have to be 'black & white'.  It is like the
    Jews were in captivity in Babylon.  They were not as much slaves or
    POW's as they were bodies to fill captured cities.  There was always
    the temptation to compromise.  The attitude of 'Hey, nobody else is
    being so staunch, so why should you?'.
    	The truth that I am finding however is that there is 'black &
    white'  there is 'right and wrong'.  It's not " I'm OK, you're OK ",
    it is 'We are both messes unless we are following Gods' will for our
    lives.
    
    _ed- 

    
    
    Trouble is often the lever in God's hands to raise up to heaven.
    
    
    
    
    
    
                                    Ray