Conference lgp30::christian-perspective

I, too, have heard of Reconciling Congregations.  I have not
actually met one yet.

The last issue of the magazine _Christian Social Action_ contained
a quite a bit of information.  I'll try to remember to bring that issue
in with me tomorrow.

A great resource for Christian study is published by _The Other Side_
magazine.  I'll try to get more info on that, as well.

I would highly recommend having Beverly Barbo speak at your church or
an event sponsored by your district or conference.  This woman's ministry
is to non-gays through eradicating myths, dispelling fears, and promoting
compassion and understanding.  Her book _The Walking Wounded_ is good, but
IMO not as powerful as her presentation in person.  Beverly has spoken
before a number of United Methodist congregations.

Peace,
Richard

    	The Arlington Street Church in downtown Boston contains a large
    minority of "lesbigays", but I don't recall it being "reconciled".
    There was a small contingent in the church a decade ago and Dignity, an
    RC lesbigay group, used our sanctuary regularly, and then we changed
    ministers and chose a lesbian. The population shifted but has since
    readjusted and now it is fairly stable again. 
    	But then, ASC is not exactly a main-line Christian church. We are
    Unitarian-Universalists. Only about 1 UU in 10 claims to be a
    Christian, though many who make no such claim live pretty much
    according to Christ's teachings.

Special Issue of Open Hands magazine
------------------------------------
Growing in Faith:
The Lesbian/Gay Christian Movement

	o Reflections of movement leaders in 6 feature articles.
	o Timeline recording more than 100 key events from 1964 to 1989.
	o Resource listing of 21 denominational organizations and 170
	  "More Light," "Open and Affirming," "Reconciled in Christ,"
	  and "Reconciling" congregations.

Single copies - $5	Open Hands
			P.O.Box 23636
			Washington, DC 20026

Special issue of The Other Side magazine
----------------------------------------
Christians and Homosexuality

	A collection of articles from the pages of The Other Side.
	Courageously compassionate.  Provocatively biblical.

Single copy - $5	The Other Side
			300 W. Apsley St.
			Philadelphia, PA 19144-4221

Churches becoming Reconciling Congregations, as inquired about in .0,
are ones which adopt a "Statement of Reconciliation" that declares their
intention to include lesbians and gay men in the full life and ministry
of the congregation.  The Reconciling Congregations Program is an outgrowth
of the United Methodist Church.  However, RCP is not directly affliated with
the UMC.

For more information:

The Reconciling Congregations Program
P.O.Box 23636
Washington, DC 20026
(202)836-1586

The Universal Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches is
an inclusive Christian body with a special outreach to gays
and lesbians (About 20% of UFMCC's membership is heterosexual):

For more information:

UFMCC
5300 Santa Monica Blvd., Suite 304
Los Angeles, CA 90029

Thanks for the pointers.  I appreciate the info, but I've been giving some
more thought to my original question.  Ours is a small town of about
16,000, and a small church just slightly over 100.  Being a "reconciling
congregation" would make a statement but might or might not make much
difference to lesbigay seekers or Christians.  

I always find it tempting to romaticize and identify with powerless groups
instead of doing the less glamorous work of dealing with my own community.
Just as whites need to deal with racism and men need to deal with sexism, so
straights need to deal with homophobia.

So the focus of my concern is slightly different, and it might or might not
ever lead to becoming a reconciling congregation:  my concern is that the topic
itself is about the only one I can think of that is virtually *never*
discussed in our church!!  In spite of (or because of?) our rather interesting
history: 

In the late 70's our pastor was a student (or recent seminary graduate by that
time) seeking ordination.  He was not accepted on his first try and felt
that it was because he was an outspoken liberal on the issue of homosexuality
and the church.  Whatever the reason for his posponement (he "passed" the next
year), we wanted to affirm his ministry, so we planned and carried out a
special unique service of affirmation of his ministry to us.

Our next pastor was a woman who acquired a female roommate (from seminary)
shortly after she arrived.  (Her roommate also sought and achieved ordination,
our church sponsored her.)  Apparently they were a couple, and they were with
us for seven years!  Someone beyond the church essentially confirmed their
relationship -- without ever actually using the words.  **No one ever talked
about it!!**   

We never asked them outright and they never came out to us on the pastoral
relations committee.  (Of course, for them to come out at the denominational
level would have been professional suicide.)  I didn't have a clue about what
to do or say (if anything) unless they said something first, and they didn't.

Now, thanks to my "DEC education," gay and lesbian people who were "invisible"
to me are now visible -- including a lay couple in our church, who are loved
and accepted -- and my guess is that most of the straights in our church are as
blind to their relationship as I was, probably including the mother of one
of them!!

I believe their invisibility makes it possible for them to be comfortable with
us; so for us to confront the *topic* of homosexuality in any other than the
most careful manner would put a number of people at unnecessary risk,
especially the couple and the mother I mentioned.

Still, it seems so sad and irresponsible to keep avoiding the topic.  We talk a
lot about the pain of lesbigay couples -- and I do not seek to minimize that.
But I hurt for the straight parents who do *not* turn their backs on their
children but who do not feel free to discuss them and their partners openly
with others. I believe that with help and love, a lot of that fear and
embarrassment could be prevented or healed.

My thought is to have a series of sermons on "Every Family Has One..."
The word "family" could mean both personal family and church family.

If "a gay or lesbian member" was *one* in that series, what might the others
in the series be?  (I sure wouldn't want the others in the series to be
negatives, like "alcoholic," etc., which would then imply that lesbigays are
sick.  However, the series might contain some positive and some negative.)

It seems like this *kind* of approach could open doors and discussion for 
those who are ready for it, while keeping intact the defenses of those who
still need them.

Advice? Suggestions?  I'd especially appreciate hearing from any lesbigay
readers who might imagine themselves as part of our congregation -- with
their conservative mother also a part of it.  What would you want us to do?
And how?

(Answer by mail if you do not want to note here.)

Thanks for ideas, suggestions, prayers...
Nancy

You're right.  It seems to be a very difficult issue for many people.  And
it is possible you'll open the proverbial can of worms in merely introducing
the topic.  At the same time, I would also affirm the button I saw the other
day which read:  "Closets are for clothes." :-}

I think yours is an exceptional idea.

I might also suggest at some point arranging for a guest speaker, a gay
or lesbian Christian who would feels comfortable in sharing their life
and faith journey, and who would be willing to field questions, as best
they can, from the audience afterwards.

I would recommend that the guest speaker not be from your own local church,
for it is very true that "a prophet is not recognized" on their home turf. ;-}

It might even be difficult getting someone from your own denomination.  I'm
not sure.  If I were to have put together such an event at one of the local
United Methodist churches, I know an Episcopalian gay man who I might invite.
Then there's some folks from the MCC who might be good.  Neither church
is very different from United Methodists in theology and polity, IMO.

Peace,
Richard

    
    nancy, i have a couple of thoughts...my apologies is this isn't
    especially coherent.
    
    first, a comment about the idea that lesbigay people would be more
    comfortable being invisible. personally i don't think so, that is,
    i believe lesbigay people *are* more comfortable when non-gay people
    treat them no differently than other people but lesbigay people are
    different from non-gay people and sometimes it's important to recognize
    the fact.
    
    as far as my ideas concerning your church's discussion about possibly
    becoming a reconciling congregation... i would nix the idea of making
    the discussion part of a series. i think there's plenty to talk about
    without bringing in any other topics. if you wanted to have a series
    of discussion couldn't you discuss some of the same things that have
    been brought up here (Gay/Lesbian marriages, homosexuality and
    Scripture,...maybe even the questions about language)
    
    i understand that your congregation is in a smallish community but
    lesbigay people will hear about it if your church does decide to
    become a Reconciling Congregation.
    
    peter
    
    a

_The Welcoming Congregation_, by Scott Alexander, is an excellent book
of resources for workshops and Christian worship to serve the Unitarian
Universalist equivalent of United Methodism's Reconciling Congregation
Program, through which churches affirm their full acceptance of lesbians
and gay men.  Available from the Unitarian Universalist Assn.
                                 25 Beacon Street
                                 Boston, MA 02108

Richard

Cynthia Nichols-Beal is currently compiling an anthology of stories
about lesbians and gay men in Christian colleges, and asks anyone with
a story, or who would be willing to fill out a questionaire, to write
her at 600 W. 122nd St, New York, NY 10027

Richard