Conference koolit::disney

    I agree with your view.  If the guest child's parents pay for
    transportation and park entrance then I would pay for meals and
    lodging.  If I drove with all the kids (which I usually do) then I
    would only request a small donation for gas, maybe $25.  The guest
    would also have to bring his/her own spending money for things other
    than meals. 

   
    I would say that if I were going allow my child to invite a friend along 
    to Disney (or any other destination for that matter), I would first get
    some idea of what the trip was going to cost and then I would decide
    what I was willing to pay for. Next I would contact the friend's parents 
    and say that you are going to Disney or wherever and would like to invite 
    their child to go along with you. I would be prepared to let them know
    (at least approximately) what dates you plan on going, what the 
    arrangements would be and how much it would cost them. They would need
    to have at least some idea of what your plans are before they would be
    able to consider letting their child join you anyway. I would not recommend 
    mentioning anything to my child or his guest until you have spoken with
    the friend's parents first so that they don't feel pressured or
    obligated let their child go if they feel that they cannot afford it or
    have other reasons for not wanting him to go. 
    I think that it is perfectly alright for you to extend an invitation to
    others on your terms, provided that those invited know what your terms 
    are before making the decision as to whether or not they choose to
    accept the invitation. There is nothing wrong with saying to a parent
    "We are planning on going to Disney in "MONTH" and would like to have
    "NAME" come with us but I can't afford to pay for eveything for  X
    number of people. If you would be willing to pay for "NAME'S" airfare,
    DISNEY pass and spending money, I would be able to pay for the hotel
    and meals."  Then ask them to get back to you when they have made a 
    decision or if they have any questions.  

    
      Well I usually am a read only noter to this file but my 2 cents.
    My wife, son (will be almost 4), and I are starting to plan a trip for
    next March or April and she invited her girlfriend to come. He
    girlfriend gets along great with my son and she said she would watch
    him a couple of nights for us. Because of this I said we would buy her 
    Disney Pass but she would have to pay the rest of the trip herself.
    What do you think about this....
                        Tom
    
    P.S. any ideas where to stay. We are talk between 7 - 10 days and
    visiting other attractions. 

    GOOD POINT regarding speaking to the parents FIRST!!  I think this
    is real important.  If you even breathe it to the kids then the
    other parents will feel so much guilt for not letting them go if
    they cannot afford it or even if they just don't want them to go.
    
    This has happened to me many times in other situations.  I was very
    angry with the other parents for not coming to me first.  Just thought
    I would add my two cents too.
    
    Nancy

    Yes I'm glad that was mentioned.
    
    One more thing...give as much notice to the parents as possible. We all
    need time to save for these trips.
    
    Mike

    In response to note 341.3...
    
    I think having a friend go along is a great idea.  One thing you should
    consider is the fact your son will have an "extra" friend.  This should
    work out great because your son will not be able to do all the
    attractions and you, your wife or guest will want to do some of the
    more adult things.   Having 4, instead of 3, is a lot nicer and you
    will truely enjoy the trip more.  For instance, Your wife can spend
    time with you or her Girlfriend alone and in turn you can get some quality
    one to one time with your son or wife without feeling guilty.  Just
    remember not to always have your guest watch your son.  This will put a
    damper on her enjoyment of the trip.  As far as the expenses go,  I
    think it is fair she buy Airfair, hotel, etc. and you splurge on the
    Disney pass.  You might discuss meals before hand also.  Some meals can
    get expensive.  
    
    Places to stay...well I love staying in the Poly but you might want to
    check other notes in this file. 
    
    Have a great trip. 
    
    Rose East 
       
    

    Well gang little did I know when I started this topic that I would be 
    possibly faced with this scenario for my trip this year. Let me
    explain.
    
    Last night my 16 year old daughter intimated how lately she's been
    thinking that she'd rather NOT go to Orlando this year because she'd
    be away from all her friends for three whole weeks. She utterred this
    to my wife and mother-in-law while I was 20 miles away watching a 
    basketball game. I haven't told her that I'm aware of this.
    
    I'm soliciting opinions on this.
    
    IF the decision is made for her to stay home (with either relatives
    or friends) then I would let my son take a friend along.
    
    I would, of course, approach the friend's parents first and see how they
    feel about this. I think there would be no problem assuming the cost was
    acceptable to them.
    
    I need to know if any of you have done this before.
    
    My plan would be for the friend to cover the cost of admission and
    maybe meals. I don't think the cost of the room or transportation
    expense (driving down) is a big deal so I wouldn't ask for them to
    help pay for those line items.
    
    As far as meal money I was going to suggest $40/day. I was also going
    to suggest maybe $200 in spending money (shirts, trinkets, etc.).
    
    Any feedback on this would be most welcome. Also, any ideas as to WHEN
    I should approach the friend's parents? I'm leaving in less than four
    months. Is one month's notice enough? Two? Three?
    
    Mike_the_terrible_parent_who_drags_his_kids_to_WDW_every_2_years

    Personally, I would need AT LEAST 4 months notice to come up with that
    kind of money.  I would tell them now that you want to invite the kid,
    and was wondering if they felt they could afford it.  As the other
    parent I would easily expect to pay for incremental costs (you're
    already driving down, so no extra cost there; you're already booked in
    hotels, so no extra cost there; meals and admissions would be extra.
    
    Also, have your daughter's head examined for not wanting to go.
    
    Oh wait - she's a teen, right?  Never mind.  I rememeber that time of
    my life!!!
    
    -sandy
    
    

    Mike,
    
    How about asking your daughter if she would like to bring a friend?
    
    If not, I will gladly pay my way and be your sons best friend for the
    whole trip!! :-)
    
    John

    We did something like this a few years ago. At that time we were
    taking our 6 year old almost 7 daughter who is our only child.
    We thought it might be nice to bring a friend for her so we
    invited a friend who did come. It did not turn out as well as
    we expected mainly because of our error. The friend we brought
    was a very good friend of our daughter but it was not a current
    friendship. We had moved and they had only been in touch a little
    for the last few years. Turned out that when they were together
    the whole week that got tired of each other's company
    pretty quickly. The overall experience was not bad but if we
    had it to do over again we would not repeat it.
    
    My only suggestion is make sure any friend you bring is one that
    is current and they hang around together a lot, in school together
    etc. Kids change, so the old best buddy may not be the best 
    person now. Remember this buddy is going to be with you 3 weeks.
    
    Your money arrangement is reasonable, but since the trip is so long,
    a lot of people may not be able to afford $40 times 21 + $200 for
    a total of $1040. Maximum notice is definitely needed.
    
    					Harold
    

    Mike,

    Assuming that you were paying for your daughter anyway why not make 
   someone's day by letting them come courtesy of you.
   
    I'm doing that this year with a niece.

    Regards,
    Tony.

    Mike, What age is the son's friend? I looked back at 23.71 for a clue
    on your son's age.
    
    Are you confortable with your son's friend?  Mickey extract's quite a
    few dollar$ from your pocket.  Is there a chance you could get short
    changed by another person's child' attitude.  He will hold all the
    trump cards [you just can't send him home to his parents].
    Will he get bored?  Will he have too much energy?  Will he want to get
    out of bed early and get going.  Is he a night hawk and will keep you 
    up?  Of course you'll need a medical release form in case of a medical
    emergency you can get treatment for him[or is it a her?].
    What happens if there's a disagreement?   I know my sons friends get
    along quit well, but once in a while, they spend a few days apart, then
    they're back together again.
    
    I know I always take a less than positive outlook, but that's just the
    way I am.  My 17 year old didn't want to go on the last trip.  But,
    since he's getting out of high school, it will be our last family trip,
    so we dragged him along.  His brother and him got along just great and
    they had a lot of fun.  Meantime, the exchange student we had
    alternated between high energy and boredom.  She was 17-18.  When I
    really wanted to relax, she wanted to be on the go.  Our family wanted
    to get up earily and into the parks earily, it would take hours to get
    her going.
    ed
    

Yes Tony I considered that but things like AP renewal vouchers are not
transferable so that's an extra cost. Another option is to just
ask for $500 and that would cover the AP cost and I'd hold the
rest of the money for him in case he wanted to buy some
souvenirs. It's still a great deal.

Regarding Ed's note he's 14 and like a second son. He won't get
bored as he and my son are very much alike as far as interests
go. I doubt he'll have more energy than me down there.

Regarding will he want to get out of bed early (you know me well
Ed) that will be discussed during the initial discussions of this
arrangement.

My son and his friend have never argued so a disagreement is
unlikely.

All this may be for naught because I may be a real nasty father
and drag her down there anyways.

"Yes Mr. Scopa you have been found guilty of child abuse because
you have forced your daughter to spend an all expense paid 16
day vacation at Walt Disney World!" 

    Hmmm, maybe a false alarm. My daughter dis some shopping yesterday
    "for Florida."