Conference 7.286::golf

    "Golfing Disasters" by Peter Dobereiner is a compilation of some
    very humorous incidents in professional and top amateur golf.  It
    will make you feel a lot better about some of disasters we have
    all had.
    
    Bob

    re: .1
    	Agree...I have this book and after reading it some of my many
    errors didn't seem to bother me as much...I could just shake my
    head and laugh about them and move to the next shot!!
    

    Thanks for the tip. Any book that will make me feel better about
    my game is right up my alley! Incidentally, I also managed to get
    through Dave Hill's 1977 semi-autobiography, Teed Off. Among the
    many interesting tidbits was his statement that the first (pardon
    the expression) shank he ever hit was in the final round of a major
    tournament (might have been the US Open, I don't recall), and that
    all he thought about for the rest of the round is when he was going
    to hit his second!
    

	Re: .1

	I enjoyed "Golfing Disasters" and would encourage you to read it.
	(However the author did write that infamous article about the Irish
	& TCC, so if you made a sacred vow not to read anything he wrote
	you'll just have to skip it, or persuade yourself that he just wrote
	down real events and read it for it's "historical" value!)

	Re: .0

	I've got Golf in the Kingdom and it's on deck behind my current serious
	reading (a biography of Thomas Jefferson (so far no mention of him
	golfing)).  I have snuck a read of the first two chapters, but will
	wait until I finish it for my book report.

	I had seen Dogleg Madness at the same time.  Given your recommendation
	I'll pick it up for the winter.

	Larry

    Try "Following Through", by Herbert Warren Wind.  Mr Wind has been
    one of the great American golf writers over the last few decades.
     Following Through is a compilation of some of his best work.  I
    found it extremely entertaining and informative.  Good reading.

    Yeah, I'm aware of Dobereiner's less-than-pristine reputation among
    the Boston Irish (notable for having great senses of humor about
    everyone and everything but themselves...speaking as one of Irish
    descent and temper who was born and raised in Natick, and never
    really considered himself "Boston"). I read the infamous article,
    and thought it was pretty funny, and aimed at harpooning the blue-
    bloods who founded The Country Club, not the poor paddies who had
    to work there. But, as another Irishman found out (Jonathan Swift),
    irony is the most misunderstood form of humor ("A Modest Proposal").
    
    Frank Mc(pronounced "mick")Gowan
    

    If you haven't read "Dead Solid Perfect" by Dan Jenkins ( notable
    writer for SI ) you have missed one of the great non-fiction pieces
    written on Golf. I believe the book is out of circulation so you'll
    have to search the used market. It is considered a collectors item
    due to it being out of circ.  HBO has made a movie which will air
    in Nov./Dec. I think Peter Jacobson will play the PGA pro. (A role
    turned down by Ben Crenshaw). It is so funny and off color that
    Deane Beamen would not have the PGA associated in any way.
    
    It could be the next best thing to Caddyshack if it follows the
    book script.
    
    Ken

    "Dead Solid Perfect" is back in print. I bought a copy a couple
    of months ago. It has been updated to reflect "today." I enjoyed
    it so much that I loaned it to my tech. He doesn't play golf, but
    he laughed his pitute off.
    
    Bob

     I'd recommend the following to anyone who appreciates golf humor,
    history and architecture:
    
    1. The Dogged Victims of Inexorable Fate - Dan Jenkins (his best).
    2. The Story of American Golf - Herbert Warren Wind. Our finest
    golf writer.
    3. Anything by Bernard Darwin - the greatest golf writer in print.
    4. Scotland's Gift-Golf - Charles B. Mcdonald. One of the founders
    of the USGA, designer of the National Golf Links, Mid Ocean and
    Yale, to name a few. Enormous figure in American golf, and by all
    accounts, a world class jerk.
    5. The Golf Course - Geoffrey Cornish and Ron Whitten. Until you
    read this one, you don't know anything about golf courses. It will
    amaze you to discover how many local courses were designed by the
    masters.
    
    Jack (the Skoal Bandit) Varley

    Thanks, 9, that's an excellent list. One I recall reading many years
    ago that tickled me a lot was "Out Of The Bunker And Into The Trees,"
    by Rex Lardner (at least that's the title/author I remember). Another
    in the humorous vein (at least I think it was intended to be funny)
    is "How To Shoot Double Bogey Golf" (don't remember the author or
    authors).
    
    Frank

    I personally thought "Golf in the Kingdom" was better suited to
    Shirley Maclaine or Mac O'Grady than to we hackers.  But I have
    seen it recommened by more than one touring pro.  I did not
    care for it.  I liked Lee Trevino's "The Snake in the Sand Trap"
    much better.
    

Here are several more that you may want to consider (no particular order)

Inside Golf, Quotations on the Royal & Ancient Game, Chieger & Sullivan - a
great collection of golf quotes.  About 250 pages worth.  A quick flip thru
persuaded me to pull it down & read it again.

The Green Road Home, A Caddies Journal of LIfe on the Pro Tour - Kid decides
to try to caddie for a year.  You get a good feeling of what it is like to 
be a pro caddie.

Picture Books:

100 Greatest Golf Courses & then some - Golf Digest - Short naratives about
some of the best courses ever, lots of great pictures.  Great for cold February 
days when you aren't sure golf season will ever return.  Pictures definitely
show that all courses are not created equal.

Golf Courses of the PGA Tour - Narrative about each tour event, course layout, 
and lots of great pictures.  Great coffee table book.  Also a great book for 
February.  It is also good to break out while watching tour event to get better 
understanding of course, records, past winners, etc.

Maybe in the spring we can start discussing instructional books.  However I 
find that reading them when I can't go out & hit balls only screws up my game.

	RE: .9

	I would like to second The Golf Course by Cornish & Whitten.  It's
	a good book for all those amatuer golf course architects that say
	"I could have designed this better."

	Should also be required reading for most New England Golfers since
	Cornish has designed most of our good public courses.  Some that
	come to mind are Stow Acres, Captains, and Cranberry Valley, Ocean's
	Edge.  Helps you to understand what he was thinking. 

	In the book he says that he feels that the 9th hole on the North Course
	may be unfair.  However his reasoning is that it shouldn't be bunkered
	that tightly around the green when you have to hit a long iron into
	the green.  I agreed with his conclusion, but not his logic.  I always
	felt that it was unfair to have to try to his a 5 or 3 wood carrying
	the pond into the prevailing wind!

	Larry

	Trivia Question: What is the characteristic trademark of a Cornish
	course?
	
	Large, relatively flat greens.

    I finished "The Book Of Golf Disasters," and found it to be fun and
    entertaining. I particularly enjoyed the anecdotes about the poor
    Spanish golfer at (I think) the Portuguese Open who shanked 11 balls
    in a row out of bounds and took a 19 on the hole: I laughed so hard
    I had tears in my eyes (knowing just how much pain the poor devil
    was in); and the story of Mike Souchak getting mixed up with the
    Irish taximan, who insisted they stop to visit his brother to sample
    some of the brother's "poteen"; and, as well, the story of the attack
    of the Killer Ants. To anyone who's never played the game, some
    of the stories would be completely unbelievable, but to me they
    had the ring of absolute truth.
    
    Also tried to read Tommy Bolt's autobiography, "The Hole Truth,"
    but found it hard to get into and surprisingly dull reading, con-
    sidering the subject. Bolt told a pretty funny story about himself
    on ESPN recently: Seems he got to the 15th hole, and faced a tricky
    situation. After sizing it up, he consulted with his caddy. "It
    looks like either a hard 7 or a soft 6," he said. "What do you think?"
    Replied the caddy, "It's got to be either a 3-iron or a 3-wood,
    Mr. Bolt. Those are the only clubs you've still got in the bag."
    

     I left out a couple of other good books on my list (422.9):
    
    - "Life at Happy Knoll" (J.P. Marquand) - Funny and realistic account
    of happenings at a small private club. May have been based on the
    Myopia Hunt Club, where he belonged. I've only been there a few
    times, but - it could be the place. Where else do you find claw
    footed bath tubs in the shower room?
    
    _ "The Clicking of Cuthbert" (P.G. Wodehouse) - Great, understated
    British humor.
    
    - "Golfer's Gold" (Tony Lema) - Funny and insightful comments from
    one of the great talents ever to play the game.
    
    Re: Cornish - true, he's designed a lot of New England courses,
    and redesigned many, but most of his stuff just isn't good. Nice
    guy to talk to, and very knowledgeable, obviously. I think he got
    the large, flat greens idea from A.W. Tillinghast...
    
    --The Skoal Bandit (who is kind of a traditionalist...)

    thank you #15 for mentioning Wodehouse who in my mind is the first
    golf humorist.
    
    the funniest golf humor I have ever encountered I cannot name the
    actual article or author.  I picked up a golf
    magazine in a barber shop in early 80s and read a fictional account
    of a pro-am with a hacker paired with Arnold Palmer and trying to
    give Arnie lessons.  I laughed so hard in the chair waiting for
    a haircut that I literally had to get up and leave.
    
    Can anyone remember the article I am referring to?  Sorry I don't
    even know the publication.

    Browsed through "Following Through" and enjoyed it immensely. Very
    elegant writing.
    
    Just started a mystery novel entitled "Dead On The Pin" (couldn't
    resist the title), by Robert Upton, "starring" his primary character,
    Private Investigator Amos McGuffin (wasn't "mcguffin" Alfred Hithcock's
    word for "red herring"?). Besides being an entertaining read, the
    book shows good insight into golfers' psyches. At one point, McGuffin
    muses that at the end of each golf season he discovers the "secret
    to golf," and then somehow forgets it during the winter. I can identify
    with that!
    
    	Frank

    
    Did anybody else get info on "THE CLASSICS OF GOLF" in the mail
    resently?  It is a book club, with books just on golf. They are
    reprinting some of the classics and offerring one every other month
    (you deside if you want to keep it when it arrives). The first one
    they offer is  DOWN THE FAIRWAY by Robert T. Jones Jr.
    
    They have a list of 22 books that they have published so far. 
    Herbert Warren Wind, the famous golf writter and Robert Macdonald,
    publisher, are the people behind the project...

    Gene...

    	RE: .18
    
	Since I just noticed that there is an extra order form
	and I could make some copies if there is any interest
	in joining the club, I thought I would also post the
	list of books/author/year of print...

	Down the Fairway/Robert T. Jones Jr. (1927)
		autobiography

	How To Play Your Best Golf All the Time/Tommy Armour (1953)
		lesson
	
	The Dogged Victims of Inexorable Fate/Dan Jenkins (1970)
		commedy

	Golf Between Two Wars/Bernard Darwin (1944)
		history

	A History of Golf/Robert Browning (1955)
		history

	Shape Your Swing the Modern Way/Byron Nelson (1976)
		lesson

	The Golf Courses of the British Isles/Bernard Darwin (1910)
		64 watercolors of famout courses, plus

	Hints in the Game of Golf/Horace Hitchinson (1887)
		the first intruction book in the history of the game

	The American Golfer/Charles Price (1964)
		the best pieces from the magazine of the same name

	Scotland's Gift-Golf/Charles B. Macdonald (1928)
		couse design

	Reminiscences of Golf on St. Andrews Links/James Balfour (1886)
		one of the rarest books on golf

	The Modern Fundamentals of Golf/Ben Hogan (1957)
		Lesson

	Golf Architecture/Allistair MacKenzie (1920)
		course design

	F.G. Tait-A Record/ John L. Low (1900)
		Scotlands greatest hero

	The Venturi Analysis/Ken Venturi (1981)
		lesson

	The Mystery of Golf/Arnold Haultain (1908)
		a famous classic

	The Clicking of Cuthbert/P.G. Wodehouse (1922)
		golf fiction

	The Methods of Golf's Masters/Ken Bowden and Dick Aultman (1975)
		a study of the games greatest players

	Mostly Golf/Bernard Darwin (1976)
		essays

	Thirty Years of Championship Golf/Gene Sarazen (1950)
		autobiography

	Golfer's Gold/Tony Lema (1964)
		the tour

	The Duffer's Handbook of Golf/Grantland Rice and Claire Briggs (1926)
		commedy

     In answer to 422.18, I subscribe to "The Classics of Golf", and
    find it terrific! Lots of the stuff they have can't be obtained
    elsewhere, and they do a first rate job. Most books aren't cheap,
    but Darwin's book on the British Isles is $ 35 from the USGA, so
    if it can be obtained for $19.95 from them, it's a bargain. This
    is not a book club for dilettantes; only those who are into history
    and golf literature at a higher level would find this club worthwhile.
    To me, once you read Darwin, and to a slightly lesser extent Herbert
    Warren Wind, everyone else plays bass. I'll be happy to comment
    on the books I have read, if anyone is interested.
    
    --the Skoal Bandit

    
    RE: .20
    
    I would like to hear your thoughts on any of the books from the
    club that you have read...
    
    
    Thanks
    Gene

    I bought "Down the Fairway" without joining and enjoyed it immensely.
    I would be willing to lend it to anyone who wants to read it. Let
    me know. 273-5387.

    
    I just found a must have book for all us golfoholics...
    
    It is called GOLF GADGETS by Bill Hogan. It has all kinds of little
    goodies in it (clubs, tees, videos, books, art, etc., etc.). And
    on top of it all the goodies, it has the names, addresses and phone
    numbers of the companies that carry them, plus names addresses and 
    phone numbers of the vast majority of the club companies and component
    companies...
    
    If you want the phone number or address for something to do with golf
    just let me know, it should be in this book...
    
    Gene

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Note 843.0         SHANKS FOR THE MEMORIES...A MUST READING...           1 reply
SELECT::DEMERS                                       62 lines   8-JAN-1990 13:21
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Subj:  Golf Book For Christmas.......

       I recieved a new Golf book for xmas from my wife and I would like
to recommend it to the notes file. It's called "The Golf Hall Of Shame".
It's a collection of Golf's wackiest moments from tee to green. Most of the
stories are from the professional ranks with alot coming from your everyday
golfers. The following is one example from Chapter 1 - Shanks for the memories.
For better enjoyment try to remember how hard it is to stop the shanks before
you read this story. Then I challenge all of you to get through this true story
without needing a trip to the mens/ladys room. Charlie Demers....

                                                   
                         PHILIPPE PORQUIER
                          1978 FRENCH OPEN

In the worst case of shanks ever suffered by a pro golfer, Philippe Porquier
carded the highest score for one hole in the history of the European Tour-an
incredible 20!!!!
	Playing in his first major tournament, the 1978 French Open at La
Baule, the young assistant golf pro was understandably nervous. But he managed
to shoot well enough to stay within a few shots of the leaders at the turn of
the first round.
	At the 511-yard par-5 13th hole,which featured a dogleg to the right
up a stiff incline, Porquier impressed his veteran playing companions with a
long, straight drive and a nifty three-wood shot that left him a mere 40 
yards short of the green.
	Swelling with confidence, Porquier had visions of making a decent chip
that would set him up for a birdie. But he wasn't really psychic or he would
have forseen an impending disaster never before experienced by a pro on the
European Tour.
	The harbinger of doom came on his pitch shot. Porquier carelessly
struck the ball on the hosel of his nine-iron, causing the ball to fly off the
inside curve of the blade at a sharp right angle. His ball rocketed 
diagonally out of bounds.
	Hoping against hope that this was some minor aberration to an other-
wise creditable round of golf, Porquier dropped another ball and tried again
to pitch onto the green. But to his horror, he shanked this ball, too, into 
the rough by the boundry fence. With his mechanics all screwed up, his psyche
blew a fuse. He kept telling himself over and over not to shank. So naturally
he shanked his third staright shot, this time through the fence.
	With the penalty strokes, he was now playing eight. But before this
nightmare ended, he needed a pocket calculator to keep track of his score. 
After adjusting his stance, changing his grip, and making a silent vow not to
shank, Porquier swung again. He didn't shank this one. He topped it. The ball
rolled weakly a yard deeper into the rough. But then he returned to his old
form and shanked the next two, one of which went out of bounds again.
	As Porquier was about to play his thirteenth shot, his caddie planted
himself out of bounds so that he'd have an easier time of retrieving the next
errant ball. Meanwhile, Porquier apologized to his playing partners for unduly
detaining them. Then he swung and shanked...swung and shanked.....
	Suddenly, from the deepest regions of his tormented mind, sprang an
idea that he felt surely would bring him salvation. For his eighteenth shot,
Porquier took aim not at the 13th green, but at the next tee, which was off to
the left side of the green. Then he repeatedly told himself, "Do not shank...
Do not shank..."and when he swung, he did his damndest not to shank. Sure
enough, his idea worked. The ball shanked, darting sideways from his point of
aim, and landed on the green the feet from the cup.
	Porquier smiled shyly as the spectators applauded his cunning strategy.
Two putts later, Porquier's name was etched in the record books as the holder
of the highest score ever for one hole on the European Tour.

                                    

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USEM::VOUTSELAS                                       6 lines   9-JAN-1990 13:02
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    That is a  classic ! Well described, too.
    
    I  can think of  9's and  10's I made after  being  close in two
    on par  4's and 5's. All due to that "S"  word.
                    Ang
    

	Finally! A professional record that I can break!

	I just finished "The Golf Omnibus", by P. G. Wodehouse.  It contains
	31 fictional, very humorous short stories in which golf is the central
	theme.  "The Clicking of Cuthbert" which was mentioned in previous 
	replies, is included.

	I had never heard of this book, or read anything by Wodehouse, until I
	stumbled across this on sale for $8, so I took a shot.  I don't
	believe I've enjoyed a book more than this one.

	For those of you unfamiliar with the Wodehouse style, I have taken the
	liberty of appending an excerpt from a story called "The Letter of the
	Law".
 
	Mike

  "You know the Wrecking Crew?"  He was alluding to the quartet of golfing 
cripples of which Joseph Poskitt was a regular member.  The others were Old 
Father Time, The Man With The Hoe, and Consul, the Almost Human.
  "You know the way they dodder along and won't let anyone through.  There have
been ugly mutterings about it in the Club for months, and it came even harder 
on me than most of the crowd, for, as you know, I like to play quick.  Well,
the other day I cracked under the strain.  I could endure it no longer.  I--"
  "Drove into them?"
  "Drove into them."  Using my brassie for the shot.  I took a nice easy stance,
came back slow, keeping my head down, and let fly-- firing into the brown, as it
were, and just trusting to luck which of them I hit.  The man who drew the 
short straw was old Poskitt.  I got him right on the leg.  Did you tell me he
got his blue at Oxford for throwing the hammer?"
  "Throwing the hammer, yes."
  "Not the high jump?"
  "No."
  "Odd, I should have said--"
  I was deeply concerned.  To drive into the father of the girl you love, no
matter what the provocation, seemed to me an act of criminal folly and so I 
told him.  He quivered and broke a tumbler.
  "Now there," he said, "you have touched on another cause for complaint.  At
the time, I had no notion that he was the father of the girl I loved.  As a
matter of fact, he wasn't, because I had not met Gwendoline then.  She blew in
later, having been on one of those round-the-world cruises.  I must say I think
that old buffers who hold people up and won't let them through ought to wear 
some sort of label indicating that they have pretty daughters who will be 
arriving shortly.  Then one would know where one was and act accordingly.
Still, there it is.  I gave old Poskitt this juicy one, as described, and from
what he said to me later in the changing room I am convinced that any 
suggestions on my part that I become his son-in-law will not be cordially 
received."
  I ate cheese gravely.  I could see that the situation was a difficult one.
  "Well, the only thing I can advise," I said, "is that you cultivate him 
assiduously.  Waylay him and give him cigars.  Ask after his slice.  Tell him 
it's a fine day.  He has a dog named Edward.  Seek Edward out and pat him.  
Many a young man has won over the father of the girl he loves by such tactics, 
so why not you?"
  He agreed to do so, and in the days which followed Poskitt could not show his
face in the club-house without having Wilmot spring out at him with perfectos.
The dog Edward began to lose hair off his ribs through incessant patting.  And
gradually, as I had hoped, the breach began to heal.  Came a morning when 
Wilmot, inquiring after my old friend's slice, was answered not with the usual
malevolent grunt but with a reasonably cordial statement that it now showed
signs of becoming a hook.
  "Ah?" said Wilmot.  "A cigar?"
  "Thanks," said Poskitt.
  "Nice doggie," said Wilmot, pursuing his advantage by administering a hearty
buffet to Edward's aching torso before the shrinking animal could side-step.
  "Ah," said Poskitt.
	

    Anyone read any good books on golf lately?
    
    I'm just nearing the end of reading 'Quantum Golf'.  Interesting
    approach to golf.  I must admit that I have gleened a bit from this but
    overall find it too mystical, ala 'Golf In the Kingdom'.  Why is it I
    seem to gravitate towards this type of book and then regret it
    afterwards?  Don't answer that question...
    
    Anyway, on MY scale of 1-10, with 1 being a total waste of time:
    
    	Golf in the Kingdom - 1.1
    	Quantum Golf        - 2.0
    
    Interestingly, I recently re-read Hogan's 'Modern Fundamentals...' and
    it actually helped me with an overswinging problem.  This, I hate to
    admit, was after 7 1-hour privates with two different pros.  I was
    working on a number of things but included overswinging, also.  Got
    really frustrated not being able to control it.  Looked at all my mags
    and a library of books.  Picked up Hogan's book and there it was. And
    it works!  Thanks Ben.

    Just finished re-reading Penick's "Little Red Book" and then reading
    the "Little Green Book."  No other golf books needed:
    
                1) Use a strong grip
                2) Clip off the tee
                3) Imagine swinging a bucket
                4) Chip under a bench
                5) The ball should "die" at the hole
                6) Practice with a weed cutter

    What more is there to golf?

    
    re: -.1
    
    	Clip off the tee?
    
    

    re: .30
    
    Clipping the tee...
    
    A training method recommended by Harvey Penick in his 'Little Red Book'
    .  It involves a plastic tee used with the mats at driving ranges. 
    There is NO ball to swing at - only the tee with the object being to
    'clip the tee' where the teecomes out of the mat, .i.e under the ball
    where you are suppose to aim your swing.
    
    re: .31
    
    What is GIR or was it GRI??
    
    rww

Hi,

Does anyone have any suggestions for books on golf (hard or soft cover)
that would be good for Christmas gifts? My husband is an avid golfer and
has a lot of the older golf books already. If there's a recent book that
someone found very interesting or one that's been reviewed highly, can
you offer the title? 

Thanks for any suggestions.

Laura

    Re:                    <<< Note 422.34 by TUXEDO::MAZZAFERRO >>>

    Laura,

    It seems that the end of the season (and probably also a lot of work)
    is keeping away most of  the  regulars in this file, so I'll give you
    some of my own sugestions hoping that more people give you some other
    ones.

    In the instructional space, the  biggest  all-time-seller  in  sports
    book category is Harvey Pennick's "Little  Red  Book".    It's cheap,
    less than $20.  There already have  also  a  "Little  Green Book" and
    videos and cassettes.
    
    If  your  husband  is a book collector, The  USGA  catalog  has  some
    reprints of old golf books.  If you're interested  I  could  find the
    catalog and give you the info.
    
    In  the video instructional category, nothing more classic than Bobby
    Jones' tapes, the don't come cheap;  I believe The set  of  3  plus a
    book is over $200.
    
    If you  are  interested  in "Coffee Table" books then almost any good
    bookstore has plenty  of  hard  cover  books  with  lots of beautiful
    pictures in many golf subjects.
    
    Hope it helps

    hi,
    
    my fave golf book is "The Golfing Mind" by Vivien Saunders
    
    deals with playing golf from a different perspective than "put that
    there then do that then ... "
    
    also deals with the shot-making aspects and how-to-put-together-a-score
    techniques
    
    i like it
    
    richard