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Conference 7.286::golf

Title:Welcome to the Golf Notes Conference!
Notice:FOR SALE notes in Note 69 please! Intros in note 863 or 61.
Moderator:FUNYET::ANDERSON
Created:Tue Feb 15 1994
Last Modified:Fri Jun 06 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:2129
Total number of notes:21499

365.0. "GOLF-AHOLIC?" by PLATA::BILLINGSLEA (Passio Passiva) Wed Aug 17 1988 13:56

    This note came about when I had to confess to my softball team that I
    wouldn't be playing for them anymore.  Instead, I had to confess that
    I've become a golf-aholic.  Anyway, reply to the statement:
    


                     "You know you're a golf-aholic when..."
                     


    I'll start in the next reply.
T.RTitleUserPersonal
Name
DateLines
365.1priorities?PLATA::BILLINGSLEAPassio PassivaWed Aug 17 1988 13:584
    "You know you're a golf-aholic when..."
                     

    You're having sex and you yell "FORE" as you climax.  :-)
365.2Best RoundsCIMNET::DSULLIVANWed Aug 17 1988 14:517
    
    
    "You know you're a golf-aholic when..."
    
     You find you best rounds are at the bar.
                                             
    
365.3hit a bucket for mePLATA::BILLINGSLEAPassio PassivaWed Aug 17 1988 15:143
    "You know you're a golf-aholic when..."
    
         You can't drive by the driving range with having "a bucket".
365.4Hay-Hay-HayMTBLUE::STEVENS_JIMWed Aug 17 1988 16:205
    "You know your a golf-a-holic when,"
    
         Your neighbor, the farmer, wants to hay your front lawn.
    
    
365.5more is better.GENRAL::PERDUEWed Aug 17 1988 16:354
    
    "You know your a golf-a-holic when"
    
    Sets of golf clubs out number your good shoes
365.6*** WHEN ***AKOV12::ROBBERTZWed Aug 17 1988 18:1016
        When, on the "Today Show" this morning Bryant Gumbel, on the
        morning following the GOP Vice Presidential Candidate announcement,
        start his interview with former President Gerald Ford by asking.
        "What handicap do you carry".
    
        I was in the next room and ran to the set, and disappointed when,
        like a true politician Gerald replies " I've been taken by people 
        too many ........".
     
        Will the network schedule Bryant's next interview with Betty at
        the clinic ?
    
        I can only guess that a non-golfer would have had hands thrown
        high with a facial expression that reads ?????????????????? 
                  
    
365.7Is he a masochist or just desperate?PATOIS::CAMERONWed Aug 17 1988 20:1410
   You know you're a golf-aholic when....

...you play at the Stowaway golf course (a greater Maynard area 9 hole 
course; golf's version of boot camp or hell...take your pick) more than 
one time because you reeeeally want to play and it is the only place that 
doesn't have leagues after work.

I shouldn't bad mouth the course.  It only costs $5 to play 18 holes 
(all 5500 yards), no waiting for a tee time, and is more fun than going to 
the driving range...or is it? ;^)
365.8Missin' you budGRANPA::KVENEZIOWed Aug 17 1988 21:175
    You know your a golf-aholic when...
    
    
    Your wife runs away with your golfing partner and your really goin'
    to miss HIM.
365.9hic*&^^%MILVAX::FENTONThu Aug 18 1988 17:278
    re.8
    
    That one was a riot!  
    
    You know your a golf-aholic when......
    
    You bring your own mini drinks to the course and stuff'm in your
    bag and by the last hole your shooting 10's!!!!!
365.10Yooouuur otta here!FLYSQD::MONTVILLEThu Aug 18 1988 18:007
    
    
    You know it when------------
    
    Your wife tells you that if you go one more time I'm leaving you....
    
    And you ask her to get your blue izord shirt, and where are my spikes?
365.11Needs help fastWONDER::MADRYThu Aug 18 1988 18:584
    You know you are a golf-aholic when you are sitting on the toilet
    and the only thing coming out is putt putt putt putt putt.......
    
    
365.12Dis Kid Frum Noware !RANGLY::STEVENS_JIMFri Aug 19 1988 12:2515
    
    
    RE: 11
    
    
    BOOOOOOOOOO
    
    
    You know your a Golf-aholic when:
    
    While waiting for your next shot, you play Bill Murray's charactor
    from Caddyshack with the flower bed in front of you...
    
    
365.13Thanks boss!FLYSQD::MONTVILLEFri Aug 19 1988 13:158
    
    
    Here's another one...
    
    You know your a golf-a-holic when...
    
    
    You get your PA from the manager and he rates you on your golf game!
365.14SPKALI::THOMASFri Aug 19 1988 17:437
    You know your a golf-a-holic when....
    
    
    a)    You can't think of a reason not to play a round.
    
    
    b)    You keep reading this topic...
365.15A few moreADVAX::CLOSEWed Aug 24 1988 16:5326
    When....
    
    You play through snow showers and a 35 mph wind in early April because
    you know you can get it back on track and shoot a decent score.
    (I did!)
    
    You look forward to cold, drizzly days because no one else will
    be out there and you can play two balls.
    
    You analyze every 3-4 hour opening in your schedule to figure out
    where the nearest course is, and if you could possible squeeze....you
    know.
    
    You carry your clubs, your cart,  your shoes, and a complete change
    of clothes in the trunk of your car at all times.
    
    You live in Boston and you've played through December, on Jan. 1,
    and in February.
    
    You look at land that is NOT a golf course, and picture the tee,
    the fairway, the green, and how you'd play it.
    
    You get up at 4:45 a.m. in the summer so you can play 9 holes on
    your way to work.
    
    BTW -- all of the above are exactly what I do.