Conference kaosws::canada

    
    	2. Ottawa Valley:
    		a) what Death Valley was originally called
    		b) where the original 'Valley girls' came from
                c) a nuclear waste dump in New Jersey
		d) a fictitious name for a well-known beer
		e) all of the above
		f) none of the above

	3. Poutine:
		a) a French toilet
		b) chips with gravy and melted cheese curds on top
		c) groundhog droppings
		d) a suspension spring on a Ski-doo

	4. 24 Sussex Drive:
		a) McDonalds (Canada) Headquarters
		b) the American embassy in Ottawa
		c) the Canadian embassy in Washington, D.C.
		d) Mr. & Mrs. Wayne Gretzky's new house
		e) Gary Hart slept here
		f) Margaret Trudeau slept here...often

	5. Tuktoyaktuk:
		a) a university (Tuk U.) town on Ellesmere Island
		b) the sound made by a rabid moose
		c) a pull toy used by disgruntled dwarfs in Algonquin Park
		d) what Inuit call southerners

	6. The Arrow:
		a) a pointy thing with feathers
		b) an airplane with feathers
		c) a pub in downtown Tuktoyaktuk
		d) CF105, medical term for Cystic Fibrosis

Sir John A MacDonald,

a. founder of the BigMac in Canada
b. prime mover of Canadian controversy
c. a scottish Donald Duck
d. late prime minister

    A Loonie,
    
    a. a silly person
    b. the name given to a President
    c. a piece of Canadian currency
    d. someone in Software

9. Bill 101:                      
	a) The "Bill Of Rights".
	b) The Bill submitted by the Contra Rebels.
	c) Quebec's controversial language legislation.
	d) The last Canadian Pope.

10. Montreal:
	a) An island in the St. Lawrence river.
	b) A "real" mountain.
	c) A place where the 1976 Olympics are always held.
	d) The capitol city of Canada.
	e) The largest state in Canada.

11. Quebec City:
	a) Very close to Dodge City.
	b) A French port on the Mediterranean.
	c) Where the New Orleans Mardigras is really held.
	d) Across the river from Levis.
	e) Not really a city.

    re:.2
    
    Ah, isn't Sir John A MacDonald one of the two guys that built
    401 through Ontario?
    
    :-)
    
    --- jerry

    10.  Farley Mowat is
    	    a.  A drunk.
    	    b.  A communist drunk. 
    	    c.  An Anti-American communist drunk.  
    	    d.  An Anti-American communist drunk author.
    	    e.  An Anti-Americam communist drunk author who single handly 
                supports the wineries of the Niagara Pennisula.
    	    f.  A threat to the Wineries of Upper New York State, and ban 
                from entry to the Etat-Unis.
                
    
    11.  North of the 49th parallel is
    	     a.  Artic Wasteland.
    	     b.  Where it snows in June and July.
             c.  Where hockey players grow in the fields.
             d.  Where paved roads stop.  
                                
    
    12.  Toronto Maple Leafs are
    	     a.  A national symbol of disgrace (next to Maggie).
    	     b.  A C level baseball team in Missassauga.
             c.  What will be used to covered Harold Ballards grave.
             d.  The 1919 Grey Cup champions.
    
    
    13.  Maple Leaf Gardens is
    	     a.  Harold Ballards tomb.
    	     b.  The Toronto Maple Leafs Circus plays.
             c.  Purgatory for hockey coaches.
             d.  Where you can watch wrestling matches Saturday night.
                                             
    
    14.  The CN Tower is
             a.  The worldest largest prophylactic.
    	     b.  A speed bump on the QEW by Front street.
    	     c.  Droppings left by giant aliens. 

    
    	Free Trade is:
    
    		a. a prositiute named "free"
    		b. the great unkown
    		c. Brian's death
    		d. two Canadian's swapping hockey cards
    

    15.  Match the town against the province it is in
    
            a.  Flin Flon                        1.  Bristish Columbia
    	    b.  Calabogie                        2.  Newfoundland
            c.  Come by Chance                   3.  Prince Edward Island
            d.  Sackville                        4.  Quebec
            e.  Mount Carmel                     5.  Ontario	
            f.  Oromocto                         6.  Sasketewan
            g.  Deception                        7.  Nova Scotia
            h.  Bowser                           8.  Manitoba
            i.  Balgonie                         9.  New Brunswick
            j.  Bonnyville                      10.  Alberta
    

	16. Match the custom to the locale (caution: locale maybe
	    a suburb of a larger metropolis):

		1. Eating poutine			a. nowhere
		2. Eating the defeated hockey		b. Tuktoyaktuk
		   team					
		3. Farting in church			c. Rosedale
		4. Barfing into the open roof		d. Carp
		   of parked convertibles		
		5. Finding turds in the punch		e. Yellowknife
		   bowl					
		6. Jump-starting stalled 		f. Nepean
		   refridgerators

    17.  Which political party exist?
    	    a.  PC    -  Professional Cons.
            b.  NDP   -  Newly DeParted.    
            c.  GRITs -  Grandiose Repulsive Innate Twerps.
                
    
    18.  The Senate is
    	    a.  Morgue in Ottawa
            b.  Home of the patronage burger.  Over 1 million served.
            c.  A place for SENile welfAre recipTEnts.
            d.  Uphosltered in plush RED velvet and leather....ehhhh.....

19. Banff:
	a) How Canadians spell barf.
	b) The sound of a moose farting.
	c) A Canadian National Park.
	d) The sound of a moose sneezing.
	e) Canada's first black president.
	f) The sound of Cabinet Minister farting in a bathtub. (also known as a 
								"frump")

			Canadian Currency

20. On all Canadian coins, there is whose head?
	a. Guy Lombardo
	b. the best you've ever had
	c. Pee Wee Herman
	d. Lyndon Baines Johnson
	e. QE2
	f. one made by Crane plumbing

21. On the 5-cent piece, there is:
	a. a frozen road pizza
	b. a jellied skunk
	c. a flat-tailed rodent
	d. a used diaper
	e. creamed lemming on toast

22. On the 25-cent piece:
	a. Margaret Trudeau
	b. a moose
	c. two meese
	d. yak dung
	e. Rudolph ...
	f. Fergie

23. On the $50-bill:
	a. a horse's ass
	b. a horse's ass and the horsemen
	c. a King and all his horsemen
	d. former Prime Mover William Lyon MacKenzie King
	e. the RCMP Musical Ride
	f. all of the above
	

    24.  The Canadian $2 bill is
    	a.  Worth 11.2 lire.
       	b.  from Monolopy money.
        c.  equal to loonies.
        d.  Makes good toilet paper.    
    
    25.  When in the bush, and nature calls, and you forgot to bring
    your supplies, you use 
        a.  Poison Ivy
        b.  Moss
        c.  Sand
        d.  Your Wife's shirt.

    re: .8
    
    You forgot such gems as ...
    
    		Ecum-Secum
    		Pugwash
    		Meat Cove (yuck)
    
    Scooter

    1 a.  Quite possible since New York is the dirtiest city in the
          world.
    
      b.  Depends on what you're hunting for.
    
      c.  True if you take the "or" out of Toronto.  I didn't know the
          Lone Ranger rode a motor cycle. (sidekick, get it?)
    
    Bryan (who's only experience with Toronto has been at the airport
           waiting to take off for Buffalo, NY)
           

26. Baffin Island Is:
		a) A place where Canadians love to bathe.
		b) Where herds of ferocious Baffins roam.
		c) In the middle of International waters.
		d) A gift to Canada from King Louis XIV.
		e) A remote Arctic island.
		f) Canada's Road Pizza Graveyard.

27.  Toronto's new Dome Stadium is named
    	a)  Skydome
    	b)  The convertible
    	c)  After Conn Symthe, CON-dome

    28.	Who said "Fuddle Duddle"
    
    		a)	The husband of the wowen who was at a Rolling
    			Stones Party.
                b)	The Prime Minister who didn't like to talk to
    			reporters.
                c)	The Prime Minister who was once a reporter.
    		d)	The Prime Minister who once gave the finger
    			at a crowd.
    

	29. Notwithstanding Clause is :

		a) The brother of Santa Claus who altered his last name slightly
		   in order to protect the innocent.

		b) Something invoked when rules are to be broken.

		c) Something you should be able to invoke when you get a 
		   speeding ticket.

		d) A 'sign' of things to come.

		e) A clause that should be hyphenated.

    30. Meech Lake Accord
    
    a)	a new Honda dealership north of Ottawa
    b)	the rope used to pull barges across Meech Lake
    c)	a plan by the Federal Tories to split the Liberal party in two
    d)	agreement to allow Quebec to ignore the constitution, after
	it signs it

    So in view of the 'complicated' nature of the above Questions.
    Who should an individual 'who wishes to know' call/contact for
    the answers ??
     
    1) Is it McGill Univ. Montreal,Quebec ?
    
    2) 'Tuk.Univ. ?
    
    3) Canadian edition of Guiness Book of World Records ?
    
    4) The two Canadian inventors of "Trivia Pursuit" ?
    
    5) Hqts. Of the R.C.M.P. ?
    
    6) ..Or what ?
    
    
    Thanks from an observer of Canadian Historical Progression .
    
    

    re .22
    
    You got 4) wrong.  There were three inventors of Trivial Pursuit.
        
    Glenn :-)

    O.K. make it "three" 4) ...
    but what is the answer to the original question ??
    Anyone ??
    

What _was_ the original question, pray tell?    

Thanks,

Kip

    re:.26
    
    I think you've missed the point.  There is a joke behind each question.
    
    Glenn

    There is a joke behind .22 `question for answers' too !!
       
         I would still like to know though, 'the answers' - that is.