| My Dad had the same problem. They loved the Cape and lived there
for the last 10 years. Mom died in July of 1995 and since then
my Dad has been living there but my sister and her kids were living
there too in the finished basement room. This was a little too
much for my sister so she moved back to CALifornia so her kids could
graduate with their friends. In the meantime, it really hit my
Dad....being alone on the Cape I mean. My brother and sisters
were all trying to visit at least every other weekend but that wasn't
enough. Dad was overwhelmed with the house and responsibilities.
He stopped taking care of himself! I ended up taking him home
with me one day cause he was so sick and hungry.
Anyhow, we moved him to as assistive care place in Sandown, NH,
near my sister's house, where he would be with other people. He
really needs to be with other people. It's called the Fox Den
Retirement Community. He loved it at first cause he got all the
attention. No one is sick in these places. But they have services
such as laundry, meals, and they give meds which Dad wasn't doing.
He only takes blood pressure pills and diabetes pills.
So we are looking again cause he is not happy there any more. He
wants his own bathroom and to be with people his "own age". He
feels everyone is too old in this place? We are in a quandry too.
A roommate wouldn't make it for my Dad. He needs a senior
citizen complex where he can have his own studio apt and a place
to go for meals within the complex. A laundry service would be
nice but not necessary. Also, someone available to take them
to dr's appts, shopping, etc. We are looking for someplace
in the Lexington, Waltham area.
Your Mom might like an assistive care place tho. They even
have their own apt units, some of them. They are everywhere.
There is one in Westboro and Worcester that I know of.
Tell me, what are you doing about the house on the Cape? We are
in the process of cleaning it out so we can rent it. What a job!
Good luck with your Mom.
Nancy
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| I feel like we have gotten very lucky. My mom doesn't have much money
and primarily lives on SS - so her income is very low.
I was not aware that almost every town has low income housing for the
elderly. By contacting the housing authorities I was able to identify
where each of the apartment complexes are and obtain applications.
The complex in Sudbury is really nice, only 1.5 miles from my house and
my mom loves it. Because we are Sudbury residents and my Dad was a
veteren, Mom is 1st on the list for the next apartment (guess they
don't get many Sudbury residents that qualify ). She should be in by
fall.
The excitment of the move has got her spirits up. She stops by the
complex every week or so - on each visit she has met new people - her
age. I think it will be perfect.
It doesn't sound like this will work out for your dad, as it is
basically an apartment complex with Seniors. Each unit has its own
kitchen - you cook your own meals (although I would imagine that there
is a meals on wheels program too - don't know for sure).
On the Cape house - for now we are not doing anything with it. I feel
like my mom needs to be able to use it as she wants to. She can go
there for weekends, vacations or whatever. If it turns out that it
doesn't get used we'll consider renting - in the mean time it is a
symbol of her independence.
Let me know what you decide to do...
Joellen
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