Conference hydra::dejavu

    	Cheryl,
    
    	What you have with your friend sounds wonderful and you should
    	explore it for all it's worth.  What matters more than anything
    	is how *you* feel.  In my view there's no set formula saying if
    	this-and-this happens then you're soulmates.  Perhaps as more
    	time passes you'll come to a better understanding of how deep
    	the bond is between the two of you.  Maybe you'll come to know
    	he's not a soulmate but someone with similar energy.  But when
    	the time is right, I think you'll know.  (Which is far beyond
    	believing.)
    
    	How do you feel when you look in his eyes?  (Spiritually, that
    	is.)  In my case, it's been the test of time that's shown me
    	my truth.  I've doubted, scoffed, questioned, demanded signs,
    	received signs I've been shocked at, then doubted again.  It's 
    	an eternal invisible merry-go-round only YOU (and your 'mate)
    	can sense...
        
    						Carla
    

    
    I believe that it takes time to tell if you are with your soul-mate
    or not.  Eventually you will see why you met a certain person and
    what you learned from them - even if you don't spend your whole
    life with them.
    
    Jess Stearn has a book called Soul-Mates.  I haven't read all of
    it, but I believe it is supposed to answer this question.
    
    
    Guy
    

    
         This is my first time in this file and couldn't have found
    this file at a better time.  As I am just beginning to explore
    different areas within this file right now I do not have that much
    knowledge to jump in.  However this certain topic I can.
    
          I guess I like at my soul-mate in a different perspective.
    Yes we are quite alike in alot of ways and probably could be more
    like brother and sister as far as that goes.  However for me the
    key is how we found each other that I know that we were destined
    from the very beginning but we both had our own paths to follow
    first before we met.  Meeting prematurely would have ruined everything.
    It's a wonderful thing to have found your soulmate and when you
    do you know in your heart and your whole being that you will never
    be apart.
    
                                                             Kim

    I believe that my husband is one of my soul mates, based on a number
    of coincidences in combination with communication from my Inner
    Self.
    
    I met Joel through a personal ad I wrote, a very special piece that
    was actually an affirmation I composed after participating in a 10-day 
    women's retreat. Interesting twist -- the publisher of the singles'
    newsletter inadvertantly gave me and another woman the same box
    number, so all of the replies to my ad went to her. When he noticed
    his error, the publisher called to explain and apologize. I said fine 
    and used it as an opportunity to employ one of my favorite
    affirmations -- "I can hardly wait to see what good will come from this."
    
    A few days later another edition of the same publication came out.
    I sat down and looked through the men's ads and lo and behold --
    there was my ad!! A man had copied it almost verbatim, making a
    few adjustments like adding a line about his son. Seeing my
    ad/affirmation before me in a slightly rewritten way had a powerful
    impact on me, (besides making me laugh), so I wrote him a note telling 
    him he'd copied my ad and suggesting we meet. 
    
    Meeting Joel was fascinating. He's not done as much studying in metaphysics
    and the occult as I have and he had not done any personal growth
    training to that time, yet he naturally knew and was applying
    much of what I had learned intellectually and was trying to apply on the
    physcial plane. Joel had done a bit of reading on Meher Baba
    and said some things that were perfect for a single New Age woman from
    Cambridge to hear. One was his (and Meher Baba's) motto: "Don't worry, be
    happy." He also told me he was a great match for me because he is
    a perfect master. Joel's sense of humor (hu -- from the Sanskrit word
    for God -- therefore "humor" in the traditional sense and the 
    nontraditional meaning of "more God") helped me open up fast --
    something I wasn't prone to doing at that point in my life. That
    type of opening signalled to me that this was not just another first
    date.
    
    Joel told me he copied my ad because it described him too. (He also
    admitted to feeling "tongue-tied" with a pencil.)
    
    We look very much alike, our fathers have the same first name, (our 
    families are very similar), and when I am out with Joel's son, people 
    often think I am his natural mother. 
    
    Does all of this constitute a soul mate for me? Not really. But
    what does is the type of communication we have and the support
    and incentive to growth we are able to give to each other. We are
    incredibly different in many ways and we get a lot from sharing
    each other's interests. (I've taken Joel to do a firewalk and he's
    teaching me to play golf! :D).
    
    Another sign for me is when I look into his eyes and I feel a very
    special connection with an inner part of myself. I breathe
    more deeply and relax to a deeper level as well. Sometimes in my
    meditations I have glimpses of being with Joel and his family in
    other roles at other points in time.
    
    So is Joel a teacher, family member from other lifetimes, soulmate,
    husband, companion-for-now? One word doesn't really apply. All I
    know is that our marriage is special, fun, challenging and definitely
    more stimulating than almost any other relationship I can recall.
                     
    Don't worry, be happy.
    Love,
    Lois

    
    It is very difficult to know if the person you are having a
    relationship with is your soul-mate.  There are only 2 ways
    that I know of, one's a definite, one's a "good chance" of accuracy:
    
    	1)  Once you have mastered the life-death cycle, you will know
            beyond a shadow of a doubt whether the person is your
            soul-mate.
    
    	2)  If you go to a medium who has proven beyond a shadow of
    	    a doubt his/her mediumistic ability (a case history of
            proof and evidence) and if this person said that you and
    	    so-and-so are soul-mates, then I would say that the odds
    	    are pretty good that you are soul-mates.  But, remember...
    	    if you go to a medium that has given proof and evidence
    	    repeatedly and the medium does NOT bring forth info that
            you and your mate are soul-mates, that does NOT mean that
    	    you aren't.  It may be the case that you karmically are
    	    not allowed to know...

    Once again, I stress that the focus of any relationship should not
    be on whether or not the two people involved are soul-mates, but
    should be on the relationship and the commitment.
    
    Linda

re.5

Linda
    
    
>    	1)  Once you have mastered the life-death cycle, you will know
>            beyond a shadow of a doubt whether the person is your
>            soul-mate.
    

Could you explain what you mean by "mastered the life-death cycle"?
				
						Barbara

    RE: .6 (Barbara)
    
    She means you won't find out whether or not all this "soul-mate" stuff
    is true until you kick the bucket. 
                               
    
    John M.

    
    Re: .6 & .7
    
    When one masters the life-death cycle, a person has worked out their
    karma and accrued enough dharma so that the person does not have
    to reincarnate.  They go onto the next plane of existence, a higher
    plane of consciousness.
    
    Whether or not you know for sure in between lifetimes (i.e. "kick
    the bucket" and have not mastered so you must return again), I do 
    not know....
    
    Linda

                       -< RE: .6 & .7 >-
    
        
    TRY READING RICHARD BACH'S LATEST BOOK. I BELIEVE IT IS "RINGS OF
    LOVE". IT IS ABOUT HIS JOURNEY TO FIND A SOULMATE.  VERY GOOD AND
    VERY TRUE.        
    
    
                             JUDY
    
    
    
    
    
    

    re: .9
    
    The book in which Richard Bach writes about finding his soulmate
    is "Bridge Across Forever".  His latest book is entitled "One" and
    discusses alternate realities.
    
    Jill

    I've read thru the 4 notes on Soul-mates, and maybe I'm missing
    something, but I still haven't seen a real definition of what
    they are supposed to be? I intend to get the 2 books mentioned
    to see if I can get a definition. In the meantime does anyone
    have a real definition?
    		For instance what is he purpose of a soulmate?
    If you do or don't meet them in a lifetime, then what is the
    reason for them existing?
    		And if some of then are great to get along with
    and some impossible, then who cares if you meet them?
    
    	The only thing I have gathered from the notes is that you
    could have instant communication or understanding with this person.
    	In my expierence you can also have this people you've simply
    lived with or known in past lives.
    		So whats the difference if they are a soulmate?
    Supposedly I have learned  thru someone who does automatic writing 
    I have met a soulmate. I don't feel a deep understanding, or a bond
    with this person. I feel I could learn from this person, but I don't
    feel I have a need to or am compelled too. I don't even feel compelled 
    to have this person in my life.
    	So my question is simply to understand what is a soulmate, what
    does it mean?
    	Any definitions or suggested reading would be greatly appreciated.
    
    
    Marilyn	 

    Re: .11
    
    I admit to a lot of confusion on the term myself.  Most of the books I
    have read, or people I've talked to seem to define in circular terms.
    Many also accept terms some authors use, and try to figure if any in
    their lives fit the bill, without really _knowing_ what an author
    really means by the terms (s)he uses.  After reading a few books, and
    listening to others who feel they have met their "soul mates", I've
    developed two possible basic definitions:
    
    (1) (sort of esoteric) A soul mate is one with whom you have had a
    	relationship at some point in some other incarnation.  I admit that
    	simply knowing (or believing) that this kind of person exists
    	admits all your questions along the lines of "Well?  Now what?"
    	I guess I assume that the two (or more) of you get together from
    	time to time, not necessarily in the same incarnation, to practice
    	learning some lessons together.  Sort of like I tend at work to
    	get involved with the same people on different projects, because
    	our work styles are a good fit.  But one might _not_ meet the soul
    	mate in a particular time and place, because the opposite could be
    	true: that this time around, you are to learn to work out things
    	with people you don't know, and with whom you don't "naturally"
    	fit, just as a boss might throw me in with a person for a project
    	so I can learn how to mesh my work style with a different kind of
    	person.  People may supposedly try out all kinds of roles with 
    	their long-term karmic buddies the same way actors may play many
    	different roles in different plays even while working together;
    	in one incarnation, they're husband and wife; in another, boss
    	and employee; in another parent and child; in another something
    	else.
    
    (2) (more personal) A soul mate is one with whom you feel tremendous
    	(and for many, almost instaneous) *communion* (rather than just 
    	communication).  With these people, you feel as if you'd found a 
    	missing piece of yourself, or that together, the "whole" that you 
    	become is greater than the sum of either of the parts.  A lot of
    	people believe that this communion exists for an esoteric reason,
    	"because" (a) you were together as loves in another incarnation,
    	or that (b) your original soul did indeed "split" and this person
    	is your other half.  I admit I don't feel this necessarily follows.
    
    For myself, I'd feel as if I'd found a "soul mate" if I ever met
    someone who fit definition (2).  That deep rapport and communion is
    probably something that many, many of us long for, and yours truly is
    no exception here.  If I ever found someone with whom I had this type
    of special interactive chemistry, I honestly wouldn't care _why_ it was
    so; I would only rejoice that it was.
    
    Marcia

    To me, the term, "soul-mate" is not used properly today, and has
    become a "hip, chic, and trendy" word for a lover with who you 
    have/had a good relationship. 
    
    From all my readings and experiences regarding this subject, a
    soul-mate is the following:  When a soul went through its first
    incarnation and the soul was extremely polarized in its yin and
    yang components, the soul split into two separate entities and
    became two separate people.  You can only have ONE soul-mate,
    and you and your soul-mate may or may not get along together
    or even meet in a particular life time.  That is determined by 
    the karma that has been accrued over their life-times.  Not everyone
    has a soul-mate.
    
    When most people today use the term "soul-mate", they are actually
    refering to what is called a "Twin-Ray".  A twin-ray is a person
    with who you have 4 or more bodies (out of 7) in attunement.
    
    Linda

    Re: .11
    
    It sounds (to me) like what the psychic may have identified for you was
    some long-time "karmic buddy" (my term, that I used in .12).  And
    having read Linda's reply, I think that she is correct in saying that
    the term is misused and overused.  Even by (I suspect) many psychics. 
    I think what many psychics may identify are the aforementioned "karmic
    buddies", but they announce to you that you have met a "soul mate". 
    And then the people are confused if there is no chemistry between them
    and the person the psychic has mentioned.  Because if Linda is correct,
    a "split soul", upon meeting his/her "other half" would (I assume) feel
    some strong chemistry of some kind -- attraction, repulsion, whatever
    -- but _something_.

         I related what Lazaris says about them in some other note
    somewhere in all this debris, so will only briefly repeat it...
    that soul-mates only exist if you want them to and only for as
    long as you want them to.  Soul-mating can occur human to human
    or multiples thereof or even with non-humans (cats, e.g.)
         Okay, no big deal then.  But what Marcia says in .12 is
    of interest to me.  I suspect that what we *yearn* for is not
    so much a soul-mate as it is the ultimate relationship.  And what
    is that?  Good question and Lazaris had a whole workshop devoted
    entirely on that subject a few months ago.  Since I don't have
    my notes handy and I don't think I entered this info into the
    notesfiles (I'll check to make sure) I'm not going to attempt
    to answer.  But the "ultimate relationship" has nothing to do
    with soul-mates, unless in our "ignorance" we sense the value
    and can only "logically" conclude that it *must be* a soul-mate.
    
    
    Frederick
    

    Thanks Marcia,
    		Your definition is along lines of my thinking and it
    helps, I lean towards your 1st definition. 
    
    Thanks Linda,
    	I was hoping you would reply , since you were most active in
    the other topics on soulmates, I've never heard the concept of Twin-ray
    but easily relate to the concept, is there further reading i can
    do on this?
    	Also can you add any more information or point to suggested reading
    on why souls would split? or what they are supposed to do for each
    or if they do meet etc. ? 
    	My assumption is similar to the 1st definition Marcia gave in
    that if you happen to meet, maybe your supposed to learn something.
    	Sorry, I believe there is a reason and a purpose for everything.
    I would just like to learn more. Marcia has certainly helped in
    in my perception, but I still don't understand why and what for,
    which I understand would be specific to me. But the generic reason
    we might have a soulmate is still fuzzy.
    
    	Personally I'll take a Twin-Ray anyday! Which I also had a 
    question on. Would you be interested on giving the definitions
    of each ray? Are they related to Chakra's?
    
    Thanks Again
    Marilyn