Conference hydra::dejavu

    We don't need a file for those who aren't serious about dejavu topics
    -- we already have one: DEJAVU which is also a file for those who *are*
    serious about the topics here.  It's a richer more interesting place to
    be because there is a wide variety of attitudes and opinions.  Its
    frequently the most sincerely interested who make the light remarks.  I
    see no reason to believe that relaxed humor interferes with serious
    answers -- if no one makes a serious remark about something, it is
    probably because no one has something serious to say that they consider
    worth saying.

    This is an extended conversation amoung friends and aquaintenances, not
    a seminar or a church meeting.

					Topher

    I think this notesfile is the most interesting, and informative, and I
    learned a lot from it, from serious noters that are serious about the
    subject matter and that is no joke.

I may have had the attitude expressed in .0 when I first came in. I wondered 
why there wasn't serious disussion about some topics I was passionate in and 
why everyone didn't think exactly like me. I have since gone to dinner with 
members of this conference and found them to be some of the nicest and most 
interesting people that I ever known. I found that if I asked things in a 
good way and people had something to say about the topic, they responded and 
helped. If people don't know, they won't. I also am starting to find that 
humor is important. It is something that I was missing in my life and I have 
prayed to get back.
	People will appear when it is right for you to know something.

Sam

P.S> I have also learned that it is valuable to hear all opinions about 
something. There is no use in banning people from this notes conference who 
don't agree or think differntly. There are lessons to be learned from all 
people.

Sam

RE: .4

Hmmm... I think I agree too now you've reminded me, when I first entered nobody
seemed to bother answering anything I put in and there just seemed to be 
"cliquey" chat between people that obviously knew each other. Then I got to
realise that people here *are* nice enough, they just didn't answer because they
didn't know and possibly because I hadn't (and haven't - {blush} ) bothered to
sign in to be recognised as a new regular reader!

								- JIM CAD*

        Well, also it has to do with available time and motivation.
    I don't have the time I used to; also, too many things are repetitive
    and have been discussed in the past and simply aren't that interesting
    on a personal level anymore.  For instance, I dislike talking about
    everyone's dreams so I mostly don't read about them.  I also dislike
    astrology and don't read most of that stuff.  We've already discussed
    God a zillion times but I find that I occasionally like to say 
    something.  I still like sex so I may find myself saying something
    around that.
        You know, we all grow in different ways.  Most of us, however,
    can recognize that an infant may be far more interested in its
    navel than we, as grown-ups/adults, care to be.  Nothing's wrong
    with contemplating the navel, but most of us have done it already
    and aren't interested in repeating the experience.  If we believe
    and accept concepts such as reincarnation, then we can appreciate
    the fact that we probably already had lifetimes wherein we 
    experienced loads of other things.  If we learn how to tap into
    them (reincarnational lifetimes,) then we can "own" them and not
    need to re-experience them.  
        There are fine balances all over the place; for example, how
    to distinguish between compassion and attaching to someone else's
    drama, whether to be an observer or whether to be a participant,
    whether to direct events in our lives or allow ourselves to be
    directed, whether to read in DEJAVU or to also read/write/respond,
    etc.  
        As for humor, it's difficult to judge or assess it based on
    one or two entries.  There can be lots of reasons for humor.
    When the humor hurts someone, then it's not likely to be adult
    humor.  Adult humor is valuable but it is different than the
    child's or adolescent's.  When skepticism becomes cynicism things
    go downhill rapidly, too.  
        I feel that newcomers should not necessarily expect that their
    information will be seized as long-awaited food for the starving.
    Rather, they can survey the territory already covered and can 
    either add to it or question it or can come up with fresh new
    information or a new perspective, etc.  But to expect people to 
    jump on someone's dream and to demand to have it analyzed, for
    example, seems too much to me---at any rate, it's not something
    I would want to do.
    
    Frederick
    
    

    
    re: .8 (Frederick)
    
    >We've already discussed God a zillion times....
    
    Ha ha ha ha!  I love it!  
    
    "Where have you been....we've already discussed this God character
     and the subject is really quite pointless, you know....we figured
     out His game a long time ago..."
    
    ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-)
    
    guy

    Dougie,
    
    Personal attacks on people are generally considered unacceptable in
    Notes files.  Frederick was attacking any individual -- just stating
    his perceptions and opinions about feelings and behaviors of people 
    in a general way. 
    
    Mary

ah.... Perhaps I forgot the OBS ...

dougie

OK Mary- it's gone.

For the benefit of the "What did .10 say" brigade, I inferred that
Frederick's comments on cynicisms were somewhat hypocritical.

I have found Frederick's notes a tad condescending, and the contemptous
undertones distasteful. My interpretation off course.

pip pip

Dougie

    
    All part of Valuing Differences, Dougie.
    
    Cindy

                                        
    As for .0
    
    Something similar happens over in the Dave Barry file, for some
    God-only-knows reason.  The guy is by far one of the best humor writers
    being published today, and it would seem to follow that the people who 
    access that conference have similar senses of humor and be rather 
    easy-going about the whole thing.
    
    But NOOOOO.  If anyone starts a 'friendly chat' -- anything beyond
    Dave's writings or announcing an upcoming appearance, then all hell
    breaks loose, people whine and complain, and then the moderator
    automatically writelocks the topic, along with a harsh 'reminder'. [One
    is left wondering if the whiners actually laugh when they read DB, or
    - to follow DB style - if they even have a sense of humor -...but that's 
    for speculation.]
    
    Please don't try to make DEJAVU like that.  I couldn't bear it.  I
    might even cry or something.
    
    Cindy (now noting here for close to 5 years now)

    Dejavu is the best conferences we have.  The people here are 
    wonderful and many do know each other (you're always welcome
    to attend one of the gatherings tho I've let it slide a bit - 
    we'll do another dinner soon) but new comers and readers are 
    also welcome and respected.
    
    Everyone's style, ability, and situation is different.  We
    need these differences to build on.  I enjoy the humor, the 
    serious writings, and even the off the wall material.  I 
    do care for Frederick and I do enjoy his writings (especially
    the Lazarus material).  Each add to what this place is.  We
    share and learn together and what challenges us, might just be
    the place we need to check out and work on.
    
    Hang in there, there is no place like DEJAVU.
                                               
    Joanne  

    re: Dougie-somewhere-back
    
        Really?  Odd, isn't it?  Odd, because I would or could have
    said the same about you and your contributions in here.
    
       
    
    Re: .17 (Joanne)
    
        Thanks.  By the way, it's LazarIs, not LazarUs.  ;-)
    
    
    Frederick
    

    Why the Dave Barry conference cuts discussion short:
    
    A lot of DB readers open the DB conference only when their automated
    processes show an unseen note.  They then dash in, hoping for one of
    Dave's gems.  If it's only aimless chitchat, they are *very*
    disappointed, so aimless chitchat is vigorously squelched.  Useful
    and/or entertaining comments are tolerated.
    
    						Ann B.

    I think the seriousness is great, and the humor lightens it up! Keep on
    pluggn' DEJAVU you guys are great!

    I'm with Ann on this one. I like the way DAVE_BARRY is moderated, and I
    don't need the chit-chat, even if it is DB related.
    
    Laurie.

    I'd like to hear more from the author of .0, COMET::ANDERSONA, about
    what triggered the fairly heated, all-caps topic, and what s/he thinks
    about the replies thus far.
    
    karl

        Although I do not know any of the noters in this conference, I am
    very interested with what you all have to say. It is an enlightening
    conference to be sure. Many points of view are brought out here with
    which many I would never have contemplated. Thank you all and keep
    the notes (and humor) flowin.
    
    Drew
    

    Thanks to DEJAVU I've met some wonderful, warm, caring, enlightened
    people. I've also been able to expand my knowledge, experiences and
    growth due to the information that has been shared here. Though I
    haven't been able to read and respond as much as I'd like, I do find
    the varying philosophies, ideas, beliefs, experiences, etc. enriching
    and thoroughly enjoy the conversations that take place. I don't have to
    agree with everyone...I take what I need (whether it's what I *want* or
    not ;^) and leave the rest.
    
    I'm thankful for this notesfile and all the people who participate even
    if it's on a read-only basis. It has provided me with so much. And I
    find the humor is sometimes just the break you need to step back and
    take a better look at yourself. Life is too short to be taken so
    seriously all the time....plus laughter gives you fewer wrinkles. ;^D
    
    TTFN,
    Roslyn