Conference hydra::dejavu

    re: .0
    
    You probably see your house in dreams as it used to be because,
    psychologically speaking, you *do* still live there.  That house
    is home to you.
    
    Imagine a man with two sons, one of whom died young at 11 yrs.  
    There's his picture on the mantelpiece.  He'll always be 11 yrs.
    old.  And there's the other son, depicted as a boy, a teen-ager,
    and a man. 
    
    You, as a man, are both sons simultaneously - the person who is
    changing, with a "...car, sons, and other things...," and the 
    person who hasn't changed at all, who still "...live[s] in there."
    
    The house is associated with a cluster of positive feelings, built
    up and reinforced over 11 yrs.  You've probably experienced love,
    joy, pleasure, happiness, security, and acceptance in this place.
    It was home to you; it still is.  The house is also associated in your 
    mind with a very painful experience, the trauma of its being demolished.    
    
    It's interesting that you can depict in dreams what the neighborhood
    people could have become had they lived.  Why don't you or can't
    you depict the house with, say, a new addition or a fresh coat of 
    paint?   To do so would be to stir up the intense and probably over-
    whelming feelings connected with the pile of ruins, feelings that
    may even have been anticipated in the sickness you experienced.
    
    Eventually, some other place may become "home" to you, at least in
    some of your dreams.  Remember that your dreams will depict where 
    you are psychologically and not where you are physically, unless
    the two places coincide.  
    
    Virginia
    
                              . . . . . . .
    
   ( To those who have sent me mail off-line:  thank you, I appreciate
    it - but I haven't had time to answer yet.  We're presently working
    7 days a week here.)  
    
    

    re: .0; .1
    
    I was just rereading your description of the dreams.  I see that
    you didn't really say if you were living in your original house
    in the dreams - you could have meant a newer version of the house.
    If so, my interpretation would have to be changed somewhat.
    
    Virginia
    
    

    Well, I re-read it several times, and I still have no idea what he's on
    about.
    
    Laurie.

    
    Re.0
    
    That is so sad.  I can't imagine how difficult that would be to lose 
    your home in that way at such a young age.
    
    May you find the peace and understanding you are looking for.  Sending
    good thoughts to you.
    
    Cindy

    Thanks to:Cindy
             :Virginia
            & Laurie   for yours beautifull thoughts.It seems that womans
    care more for others than mans.
           Like I said before in my many dreams I always come back as an
    adult,the way I'm right now.My home was a small one.Two bedroom one
    for my parent and the other for my brother and me.But it's funny now
    that I think of it.I never had dream with the rest of my family.It's
    always me and others neighbors.What I see is my self most of the time
    and one time that I was with a girl friend that I did not knew.
           But my home still the same nothing was added,fixed or painted.
    Still the same way like the last time I saw it standing.Sometimes
    I feel like a ghost,because there is no noices,wind,odors ect.I see
    my self not walking or touching the floor,just like walking in air
    just moving like an slow motion.
    Part of the answer of this dreams was giving to me by you all.Yes I had
    wounderfull memories and bad ones.I can't forget my dog that used to 
    wait for me in the midle of the road when I used to return from school.
    Always and one day I did not saw it and ask my mother what happened
    and she told me that my father got rid of it.That day I cry like never
    in my life untill this day.Maybe perhaps I'm too attached to my gone
    neighborhood.I know some peolpe may not undestand me or this dreams
    that I keep having.But I think that there is something that I have
    to do by my own or with the help of some body.Maybe when I was a child
    I promise my self to never leave my neighborhood.
    
    rewards Ariel.
    
    

    re: .5
    
    Ariel,
    
    Thanks for the additional information - I think I understand the
    dreams better now.
    
    You say you think there is something you have to do.  Since an ex-
    pressway now stands where your house and neighborhood did, there
    doesn't seem to be much you can do to remedy the physical situation.
    The psychological situation, however, can be remedied.  
    
    I think you have to say "good-bye" to the house.  By "house" I mean
    the house and the feelings connected with its destruction that exist
    in your mind.  The dream you are describing seems to be depicting
    the situation and related feelings that occurred when you were in the
    hospital.  As you say, in these dreams you are usually alone - your
    family isn't there.  This may indicated that your family wasn't there
    for you emotionally at the time when you needed them.  It was a time
    when the things were very uncertain or, as the English idiom says,
    "up in the air."  The fact that you're moving in slow motion in the
    dreams may be an expression of "difficulty in moving" - that is, of
    leaving the house and the neighborhood.  
    
    Also, in your dreams, there are no noises, no wind, no odors.  You are
    describing a "senseless" situation, a situation that doesn't make sense
    emotionally, and yet that situation is about to happen.  Your rational
    mind knows that expressways have to be built somewhere, but your heart
    can't stand the thought.  You would probably have been filled with
    fear and rage - fear, because the adults in your life have become
    powerless; and rage, because the oncoming destruction is a terrible
    thing to have happen.  Why can't something be done?  This situation
    is similar to that of the dog that disappeared, only now it's the
    whole neighborhood.  
    
    You may indeed have promised never to leave that place.  If you can
    reexperience some of these emotions, they will lose their grip on
    you.  Then you'll be left with the beautiful and irreplaceable memories
    of your neighborhood and your house.  Start off by recalling the house
    - the way it looked and the happy times you had there.  When you relive
    these times, you'll probably at some point run into how you felt when
    this beautiful place had to be destroyed.  Hopefully, you'll end up
    with the real house, freed of the anger and fear that have probably
    been desplaced upon it.  And you'll keep the house.  It will be with
    you always.  
    
    Virginia
    
    
    

    
    re: .6
    
    That's "displaced" - not "desplaced."
    
    Virginia
    

          Virginia,
       Thanks to you I think I found the answer to my dreams.
    Do you remember when I said that I was in the hospital when my
    home was destroyed.You see when I was 5 years old,my mother took me
    to the doctor and he found out that I was born wiht diabetics.The 
    same day my mother left me in the hospital because my illnes was out
    of control.When I saw my mother living me behind I almost went crazy.
    the nurses have to tied me down in the bed and I went to sleep crying.
    the next day was the same thing but this time they did not tied me.
        Because my illness was so bad everytime I had an a appointment the
    doctors keep me in the hospital for at least a month.You see I really
    did not had a chillhood.Most of it I was at the hospital.This is why
    when you mention that my parents was not there.I was always alone in
    the hospital.When you told me to recall,I did it for one day and this
    is what may be the answer to my dreams.
        You see everytime that I have one of those appointment I knew that
    Iwas not coming back for a month or so.So I used to hide my toys away,
    hug and talk to my dog,write on the walls of my home the day I left,
    like (left 6/20/67 and come back          )but I never wrote the date
    that I was back from the hospital.And all this was from 1964 to 1969.
    Could it be that I made a pact with my home?.But to me the answer is
    that I never want it to leave my house to go to the hospital because
    I knew what was going to happen and I was very affraid of it.I suffered
    like you don't imagine in that hospital at my early age.But to my this
    is the answer.What you think.You see I don't know you but you had help
    me alot.Thanks always.
    P.S.excused my inglish i know is not that good.
    regards Ariel.
    
    
    
    

    re: .8...
    
    Ariel,
    
    Thanks again for the valuable information.  These dreams are
    something like a nest of Chinese boxes decorated with pictures,
    each box containing another box inside it.  The first box pictured
    house and neighborhood; the second, a ghost in the house; then, a
    boy in the ghost; followed by feelings in the boy - feelings recalled;
    there may also be another box with feelings not yet recalled.
    
    To understand what "The Answer" is we have to look at the dream.
    Yes, you could have made a pact with the house, that is, that you'd
    return and write the date of return on the wall.  But if that were
    so, I would expect the "ghost" to be hovering over a pile of ruins.
    But he's not doing that - he's in the house.  Since he's there, I 
    would expect him to go over to the wall, but he's not doing that -
    he's out of touch with the house; he doesn't even contact the floor.
    
    So, your second "Answer" is much more likely.  The dream is depict-
    ing a very frightened child, a child who, like a ghost, has no body,
    nobody to help him.  By being up in the air, he protects himself
    from being floored.  To be floored is to be knocked down, shocked,
    overwhelmed, just as he was overwhelmed by terror when he felt his
    mother was abandoning him.  Perhaps what you have to do now is to
    reexperience the fears of the child, and then to comfort him and
    let him know that the past is over and that he does have somebody
    now - that he has you, and that you can handle any situation that
    comes along.  
    
    If you can do that, there may not be a need for you to have these
    dreams again.  If the dreams continue to occur, it may be that
    your brain has become supersensitized to "fear" - and that it has
    chosen this particular dream-situation to depict fear of any sort.
    For example, you might fear going to the dentist, or possibly losing
    your job, or of meeting a stranger, etc. etc.  So, if you do have
    one of these dreams again, see if you can connect the dream with some
    incident which is coming up in your everyday life.  Then the dream
    will just mean that you're fearful; you won't have to delve into
    your past life to resolve it.  
    
    Virginia
    
    
    
    
    

    Virginia.
    Sorry not to answer you earlier.Like you told me I'm not afraid of
    most things.But what I can't take and I'm doing it right now is
    beem lonely.That is what I'm really afraid.I feel like I'm in this
    world by my self.I been married before but for short time.And after
    that I feel afraid of been by my self again.I usually have those
    dreams when I go thru a situation that I now I'm going to be by
    my self.After all if I take a pencil and I write the time that
    I been by my self,is more than have of my age.So to me I think
    that everything for me was my neighbohood and when that die,
    something die inside of me.
    So virginia if you have any question let know or something that
    you think is the key of this dreams ask me.Maybe is something that
    I could not think about it.

         VIRGINIA:
    Last night (sunday)I have one of those dreams.It was a short one
    because I can't remember that much.In this one I was with my
    father.We were at the front porch of the house.This time I was siting
    on the rail of the porch.My father was talking to me and laughing but
    like mentally.I saw him eating an orange.I saw the house,my mother's
    garden and it's vicinity the same way I left it so many years ago.I
    can't recall what he was saying to me.But it's funny and it goes with
    what you said to me in your last note.To compare my dreams with 
    something that may happened to me on that day.And I mentioned to you
    that I usually have those dreams when I live by my self.Could it be
    that everything is on my mind.A kind of switch that when I'm by my 
    self it turns on.What do you think.
    regards
    Ariel.
    P/S I notice that you spelled my last name like a gosth.Also I work
    @ BOO security.That's why somethimes I can't answer you fast.

    re: .10,.11
    
    Ariel,
    
    Yes, I wrote "Ag(h)osto..." to indicate that I was going to
    write primarily about the part of the dream in which you en-
    visioned yourself as a ghost.
    
    In reply .10 you made it clear that you fear being lonely, and 
    of being in the world by yourself.  To understand these fears
    better, imagine that you are completely by yourself, absolutely
    alone.  What do you feel will happen to you?  What's the very
    worst thing that can happen?  In answering, you'll probably find
    yourself reliving the fears of childhood, when you were helpless,
    tied down, seemingly abandoned, and at the mercy of strangers who
    intended to do god-only-knows-what to you.  Any child in such a 
    situation would be frantic and filled with fear.
    
    But now, as an adult, your situation has changed.  You're no longer
    dependent on strangers, no longer under their control.  But you still
    feel like that lonely and frightened child.  When you write down the
    length of time you've been by yourself, you're not really writing a-
    bout your "self," but about part of yourself, the fearful child.  And
    by dwelling on him, you're reinforcing his existence, making it easier
    for the dreams containing him to - as you said - switch on.
    
    That child had a lot going for him.  He was resourceful - by writing 
    positive messages on the wall, he gave himself something to look for-
    ward to.  By hugging his dog, he showed that he was outgoing and com-
    passionate.  He was obedient.  He was intelligent.  He accepted the
    fact that he needed medical treatments, and by enduring whatever was
    necessary, he became a survivor.  So, to be with a person like him
    would be a positive, not a negative, experience.
    
    I think that your new dream is a step in the right direction.  The
    locale is the same, but this dream is different.  It's a happy dream.
    Your father appears in it for the first time.  Your mother's garden
    is brought into focus.  You're sitting on the railing.  You're well
    balanced.  You're in control.  You're not going anywhere - your life
    is not being derailed by a trip to the hospital.  You're not in danger
    of being railed at (scolded) by strangers who are about to stick you
    with needles.  That's over now.  Your father probably admires and re-
    spects you for the way you've handled what you've been through.  Could
    he have done as well?  When he sinks his teeth into that orange, he
    may be thinking about what a wonderful son he has.  You're not inside
    the house now - you're on the porch.  Your relationship will endure,
    even without the house.  Your relationship is growing, just as your
    mother's garden is growing.
    
    In your other dreams you've appeared as an adult.  Were you an adult
    in this dream?  If not, then you're probably beginning to get a more
    complete and therefore a more realistic view of your childhood.  You've
    switched focuses now,  You're experiencing pleasure instead of pain.
    A dream like this reinforces the self and gives it a new maturity.
    
    
    Virginia
                   z

    
        Virginia,
    Wednesday and thursday I had a two dreams.The first onr wednesday
    I saw my self siting in the same spot that I was in my last dream.
    But this is what happened.I was here in the U.S.filling an aplication
    for a job.There was this young girl helping me to fill it out.She was
    telling me where to sign my name but when I looked at the paper it was
    blurred.Then I look at her and she look at me and I give her a kiss.She
    asked me why I did that but did not got mad.Suddenly everything and I
    was sitting in the porch of my house.The house was full of all my
    co-workers from the second shift and one lady from the first shift.
    I understood that they were in my house having lunch.I was at the porch
    looking at the lady(I could heard the noice of everybody talking but
    only this lady was in my sight)of the first sifht.She look at me and
    saw me with this young girl next to me,so she went inside and told
    someone about it and to my susprise my real girlfriend come out to the
    porch and saw me to.She was laughing and talking and seem to be not
    upset.She made a comment about me wich I can't remember but I herard my
    ex-supervisor saying that I was having a good time.Suddenly the young
    girl came fast out of the house to the porch were I was and start
    plying like a little girl and told me that she did not knew that I 
    have a girl friend.End of the first dream (Wednesday)
     ( Thursday)I was in the back yard of my house (the size of a minor
    league baseball park)with my father,a neighboor and this girl that is
    my actual neighboor here in Boston.My neighboor was asking me if I
    could take his mother to go shopping.In that yard in the fence that 
    is between my house and the neighboor house I saw a window and I tried
    to go thru that window and when half of my body went thru I sat
    at the edge of it and saw the upper glass broken like with hair lines
    ready to go down.The girl put her hands on my legs like holding me
    down and I saw her face thru the broken window.I then decide it to
    go to my house instead.When I went to my house thru the back door
    I saw my mother preparing food on the floor.She pasaway 1981.But I saw
    her young about the age she dies.There was a young boy with her.(I had
    3 others brother that die before I was born)She said something
    to me which I can't remember.when I went to my room the girl was 
    followin me .This time the room was different and in the night table
    there was an ash tray with cigarretes.I don't smoke.That was the end 
    of the second dream.
        Now the girl in both dreams remainder me of my daugther in florida.
    She is also going thru hell in florida.She is only 11 years old.And
    the goverment in florida is trying to take my daugther away from her 
    mother.Maybe this is a message from her.
    P.S.Do you have All in 1 account.
    Thanks Ariel.
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
     

    
    re: .13
    
    Ariel,
    
    Sorry, I won't have time to cover all the interesting points in
    these dreams, but here's some of them:
    
    I don't think that they contain a message from your daughter.  They
    seem to be depicting how you feel about your daughter and about some
    of the other women, past and present, in your life.  As you say, "the
    girl" in both dreams reminds you of your daughter.  But we encounter
    a young girl, a lady, a real girlfriend, a young girl who behaves like
    a little girl, a girl who's a neighbor, another neighbor's mother, and
    your mother.  
    
    The first dream focuses on an "us" [US], that is, on the relationship
    between you and your daughter.  You're applying for the job of Father.
    Your daughter wants you to be her father, to make a definite committ-
    ment to her.  But you can't see yourself in that role - the papa
    [paper] is blurred.  Something's unclear to you - your responsibilities
    perhaps, or a situation that's uncertain or unresolved?  Could your feel-
    ings toward your daughter be part of the problem?  Are you beginning to
    see her as a young woman instead of as a child?  Children don't usually
    get angry when they're kissed.  But you seem to have expected that she
    would.  Did you somehow find her alluring?  Or did she remind you of 
    someone else - perhaps her mother?
    
    You realize that your daughter isn't your "real girlfriend."  But does
    she realize that?  She says, "I didn't know you had a girlfriend," as
    though she had been seeing herself in that role.  She resolves her
    dilemma by regressing to an earlier developmental stage.  Then she
    comes on to you fast and plays around, but this time it's supposedly
    O.K. because she's just "a little girl."
    
    In the second dream you seem to be threatened by another relationship,
    this time with your neighbor's mother.  In order to go after this
    woman, you have to go through your own defences.  Here's another situa-
    tion in which you come face to face with something you can't handle.
    Instead of getting involved with the mother, you get involved with a
    neighborhood girl who's restraining you.  You back down, but by then 
    feelings for your own mother have surfaced.  We see her for the first
    time, about the time that she died.  At that time the feelings that
    you had for her at a much earlier date were probably rekindled.  By
    seeing the burnt out cigarettes, you are reassured that those past
    feelings are no longer a threat to you.
    
    
    Virginia
    
    (re: ALL-IN-1: I used to have an account, but didn't renew it -
    too much duplicate material.)
                          

    
          Hi Virginia.
     Untill today I have been feeling somewhat scared of the answer that
    you send me.I only spend one year with my daughter,that is when she
    was born untill she was one year old.After that I used to see her
    one day a week.But nobody on earth have feel so much love for me
    that my own daughter.Not even my mother.But I always had bad luck
    with women.One time I was in a place that they could talk to you
    about your past and I was told that I have the spirit of a woman
    from another life and that woman is not going to let me be happy
    with somebody else.I ask why and I was told "because you did 
    something bad to her".
       Right now my daughter is 11 years old and I have not see her
    for about 5 years.Maybe this dream is telling me that I don't
    like problem or front them.Maybe this dream is the oppositive.
    I don't know really what my daughter really feels for me now.I
    talk to her by phone a year ago and she told me that she love
    me (first time I beleive in a female saying that to me)and that
    she wants to see me.But her mother she is always moving and don't
    want to give me the addresses where she is.
         I have not had any more dreams.But I know that they always be
    back sooner or later.I wish that you always be around so you could
    translate them for me but that is impossible.
    I believe that the answer of this dreams are in the words that you
    told me."HERE'S ANOTHER SITUATIONIN WHICH YOU COME FACE TO FACE
    WITH SOMETHING YOU CAN'T HANDLE."
    Well Virgina I wish you a Merry Chritsmas and a Happy 1992.
    
    Ariel

    All daughters love their fathers... and nothing is impossible.  She
    will come to you if you want her to.. she will find you.

    
    re: .15
    
    Good morning, Ariel - thank you for the holiday greetings.  I hope
    that this is a good time of the year for you, too.
    
    As Mary is saying in the previous reply, your daughter will eventually
    have a say in where she can go and in whom she can see.  Perhaps some-
    thing will work out for the two of you.
    
    "...the spirit of a woman from another life..." may or may not be the
    cause of your "bad luck" with women.  She seems to be out for revenge.
    Would you want to spend *your* next life - if such a life exists - 
    getting back at somebody else, having power over him or her?   
    
    Perhaps you once did something that you felt was "bad," and you haven't
    come to terms with it yet.  If so, this "spirit" could have a dual pur-
    pose.  She gives you the punishment you feel you deserve and, at the
    same time, makes your unhappiness her responsibility instead of yours.
    She gets you off the hook, so to speak.  Once you stop being her vic-
    tim, your luck may change.  
    
    Even though you haven't remembered any dreams lately, you can be sure
    that your brain has been dreaming every night.  It's probably working
    through many of the concerns you have about your daughter.  Remember
    that as far as dream interpretation goes, *you're* the expert, not I.
    I can only guess at the meaning of your dreams, but you created them;
    you know what they represent.  When you hit upon the right interpreta-
    tion, you'll *feel* that's it right.  That's where I'm at a disadvan-
    tage, because I don't have the emotional connection to your experiences
    that you do.
    
    
    Happy New Year!
    
    Virginia

            Hi Virgina,
     Well before the year ends,at least I know a little more about
    my dreams thanks to you.Now I know that everytime I had something 
    in my head,like a major problem or something like that and if I'm
    by my self ,so I can't talk to any one,I'm going to have those dreams.
    Why really I can't really explain,maybe what I went thru my childhood.
    When they are going to stop only god knows.
         The spirit of that woman,if that is true I have no idea what I
    did.I wish if somebody could tell me What I was in the past,what I
    did wrong and when.If all what she wants is revenge I believe that
    perhaps she put an spell on me for life.Because revenge to me you
    do it onr time and that is that.An spell stais with you untill you
    die or some one remove it from you.
          Most of my life I let destiny take it's way.Many people because
    of that said that I don't care or that I don't love enough.
    "What belongs to the sea,returns to the sea".But I really believe
    that one day my daugthe will come back to me.Once she was brainwash
    by her mother but the love she feels for me was strongher.
          You said that you guess the meaning of my dreams but when you
    answer me back is like you telling me what actually happen in my
    dream.That's what I don't understand you make it clear to me.Also
    I beleive that one day,you may have adream that will make you
    understand more about my dreams.But If only we could learn how
    to control our brains.
    
    Virginia thanks again for everything and I read you in a year,ja,ja.
    Happy New Year
    Ariel.