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Conference hydra::dejavu

Title:Psychic Phenomena
Notice:Please read note 1.0-1.* before writing
Moderator:JARETH::PAINTER
Created:Wed Jan 22 1986
Last Modified:Tue May 27 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:2143
Total number of notes:41773

1521.0. "A Strange Dream - Interpretations Please!" by TYFYS::SLATER (As we see ourselves, so do we become.) Wed Aug 14 1991 00:15

    
                    The Night the Carousel Burned Down
    
    
                    (Dream Interpretations Are Welcome)
    
    
    Last night I had this very real, yet very strange dream about a
    carousel that I was riding on burning down after I got off the ride.
    
    This is the sequence of events before and during the dream:
    
    I stayed up late (till 1:45 am) doing work and "flying" flight
    simulators on my PC at home.  Before I went to bed, I ate two pieces of
    wheat toast with butter and clover honey (harvested next door).  Then
    I went to bed, falling asleep in a blissful state (my girlfriend was there).
    
    In the time between 4:30 am and 5:30 am, I had this strange dream which
    I will describe:  I recall that my girlfriend and I were staying at a
    place which was sort of like a "halfway house", with regulations and
    everything (which is strange because neither of us does drugs).  Next
    to the house, which we had to sign out of to go out was a park.  It had
    swing sets and the usual playground equipment, but it also had two
    carousels.  Both were fairly old structures.  I got a chance to ride on
    the one which was on the right side of the park.  As I recall, it
    seemed like a stripped down, no frills version of a carousel, and it
    only had about seven or eight animals.  Before I rode, I happen to look
    around and find a hole in the center next to the floor of the turning
    platform of the carousel.  Inside the hole were two things - a large,
    metal fake Eisenhower silver dollar.  There was also a coin-operated
    handle for inserting quarters and starting up the carousel.  I picked
    up the large fake coin and put it into my left pocket. Then I pushed in
    the coin-operated handle and the carousel started.  It seems like I was
    the only one who rode.  After the music stopped about five or six
    minutes later, I dismounted the horse I was riding and walked with my
    girlfriend back to the "house" where we were staying.  A short time
    after we returned to the house I heard sirens and went to see what was
    going on.  It turned out that there was some strange phenomen
    associated with the stopping of the carousel.  When it stopped, sparks,
    similar to fireworks, etc, shot out of the top of the carousel.  The
    conditions in the park were very dry due to lack of rain, so the sparks
    caused a fire in the grass which spread to the carousel that I rode on
    and consequently burned it down.  The other carousel remained intact.
    I felt a sense of guilt and sadness about the incident.  There were
    firemen ad  investigators trying to determine the cause and who was at
    fault.  I hid, fearful of being found, and protested to my girlfriend
    that there were no signs which warned of the danger of fire.  Someone
    had removed the sign before I got on to ride. 
    
    Now, does anyone have any ideas what any of this means?  I awoke from
    this dream, which was very real to me, experiencing all the emotions
    and feelings of having acutually lived what I just described.
    
    More info for interpreting the dream.  I presently own a condo in
    Houston, Texas which I am preparing to let go back to the bank.  I owe
    about $58K on the mortgage, but it's only worth $30K at best.  I have
    tried to sell it for $1 and let someone assume the loan which has 21.5
    years left on it.  I will probably follow this foreclosure with a
    bancruptcy, because I cannot bear the debt of the loan deficiency.  It
    is a VA loan, and they get very punitive in their collection measures.
    Is there some connection between this condo situation and the dream?
    The condo situation has cost me $500 loss for the past seven years, and
    basically left me crippled financially.
    
    So, I would really like to hear some ideas about this strange and
    disturbing dream.
    
    
    Thanks!
    
    
    Bill Slater
    
    TYFYS::SLATER
    DTN 523-2018
    Home 719-495-0726
    
    
    PS  Before anyone mentions it, I am a Todd Rundgren fan from way back,
        and I am aware of the tune, "The Night the Carousel Burned Down"
        from his "Something, Anything" album from 1972.  It's a good tune
        but I haven't listened to it in at least eight years.
    
    
    
    
    
    
T.RTitleUserPersonal
Name
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1521.1Hey, you, get off my cloud ;-)UTRTSC::MACKRILLWed Aug 14 1991 12:3823
    Hi Bill,
    
    There is a strong tie-in with the "condo" problem you are experiencing.
    I guess you knew this. The carousel could be a childhood symbol of
    innocence and the fake money could mean lack of money (?)etc... Even
    though you have rationalised the whole condo affair your dream-life is
    telling you about the way you really feel about things; fearful,
    wanting to hide, feelings that you have done something wrong even
    though you have not but the powers that be make you feel that way...
    The fire could mean the destruction of a dream ?
    
    In fact, it's exactly the kind of dream I would have were I in your
    situation, except the "goodies" would start chasing me ;-) If you take
    each symbol and event one by one and examine it, you will find that the
    feelings the dream evoked will might come back to you in small doses
    and you will sense the tie-in. You are also somewhat fearful of the
    uncertainties. Don't let the experience make you feel like a refugee, these
    things happen, and they pass in due course... 
    
    I'm no dream interpreter but I can relate to this one ;-)
    
    Some thoughts,
    -Brian
1521.2AKOV05::ROSEThu Aug 15 1991 10:3711
    re: .0
    
    For those of us not familiar with the Rundgren tune - does it
    have any story or message that might provide insight into the
    dream?
    
    And are you familiar with the Siren song of literature?  And
    have you explored the consequences of bankruptcy?
    
    Virginia
    
1521.3Yes, Consequences Have Been Considered...TYFYS::SLATERAs we see ourselves, so do we become.Thu Aug 15 1991 17:1442
    Hi Virginia,
    
    The Rundgren tune, "The Night The Carousel Burned Down", was
    surrealistic, but rather nonsensical...  Interesting imagery, but the
    melody nor anything specific from the song appeared in the dream.
    
    About bancruptcy, guess I should clarify things - I plan to re-affirm
    each and every debt except the condo mortgage.  I shouldn't devulge my
    entire personal life here, but here's the picture:  I am nearly 36, and
    I have nothing of any real worth except a few books, records, some
    software and a computer, and this big mortgage on the condo that's
    worth half what I paid for it.  
    
    Yes, I know it's very serious.  Yes, I've considered the consequences
    of bancruptcy, but I've also considered the consequences of continuing
    to own the condo.  With 21.5 years left owing on the mortgage, I am
    more fearful of the consequences of long term ownership and inability
    to continue making the payments, than I am fearful of the consequences
    of bancruptcy.
    
    To you Virginia, and to other more fortunate people who will read this,
    I ask that you not be judgemental in your assesment of the situation. 
    In fact, if I could give any advice, I would just say count your
    blessings.
    
    You know, I kind of like that old Indian proverb:  "Lord, help me not to
    judge a man till I've walked a mile in his moccasins".
    
    Just in case, you think me insincere, my step-father called me collect
    from Columbus, Georgia, to tell me that my sister, Dana, passed away at
    2:09 am.  My family is poor, and had plenty of tough times themselves.
    It breaks my heart that I could not honor a request for money my 
    step-father made from me for her cremation.  Dana was 27 years old, and my
    best penpal, in addition to being my sister.  I am grieving the loss 
    pretty heavily right now.
    
    Thanks for your interest in my dream and my pending bancruptcy,
    Virginia.
    
    In Light and Love,
    
    Bill
1521.4Hard times could be coming for us all...CARTUN::MISTOVICHThu Aug 15 1991 17:2314
    Bill, I'm sorry for your loss.  Thank you for your openness.
    
    Those of us who currently live in Massachusetts -- especially those of
    us (myself included) who bought condos at the peak of the market, may, 
    in the next few years, find ourselves becoming very familiar with the 
    possibility and reality of bankruptcy.  Some may have heard of one
    complex that couldn't keep up its maintenance because so many owners
    were unemployed and defaulting on monthly condo fees.  The town
    condemned the complex and forced everyone to move out.  The owners are
    now forced to pay mortgages for condos they can't live in...
    
    But, I'm taking this off the topic.
    
    Mary
1521.5hang in...ATSE::FLAHERTYEnlighten up!!Thu Aug 15 1991 19:1214
    Bill,
    
    Healing thoughts and prayers for you and your family.  It is so hard
    to lose a loved one, especially someone as young as Dana.
    
    I believe Mary is right, many more in the Northeast will face the
    possibility of bankruptcy before these times are over.  Having had my
    house on the market for three years now, I can feel for where you are
    coming from.
    
    Thanks for sharing,
    
    Ro
    
1521.6RIPPLE::GRANT_JOdragonflies draw flameThu Aug 15 1991 21:4610
    If you can gain relief via bankruptcy court, go for it.  No shame
    in doing so, either.  You have made a very legitimate 
    investment/purchase of a condo and have been caught up in
    economic forces beyond your control.  It could happen to any
    one of us.
    
    Good luck.
    
    Joel
    
1521.7AKOV05::ROSEFri Aug 16 1991 10:0361
    
    re: .0...
    
    Bill,
    
    I'm very sorry to hear about the death of your sister.  Even though
    you can't offer your family financial support, I'm sure that the
    emotional support you give them will be of great value.
    
    Thank you for describing your "strange" dream so well - that's a big
    help to a would-be interpreter.  When dreams appear to be strange,
    it's usually because symbolic language is being taken literally.  For
    example, I think that "halfway house" is an excellent description of
    a condo development.  You are a homeowner there, but one who is subject
    to many restrictive by-laws.  To the extent that you and your girl-
    friend are preoccupied with the condo development, you are also living
    there mentally.  
    
    The carousel is your individual condo unit, one which you want or care
    to sell.  The seven or eight animals may represent the number of years
    that you've been saddled with this beast.  It's clear that you've been
    taken for a ride.  Financially speaking, you've gone into the hole; as
    an investment, the condo has depreciated - it's just about worthless.
    The fake Eisenhower dollar has dismay and debt written all over it:
    yIKE!  Dwight D EisenhOWEr!  
    
    So you try to get a handle on the situation by selling the condo.  You
    "insert quarters" - that is, you advertise the place and get it moving
    in the real estate market.  But there are no takers.  The "no frills"
    units are old and not very attractive.  The association's condo fees
    may have been spent unwisely in the past, and funds for needed improve-
    ments may no longer be available.  As the dream says, "...conditions in
    the park were very dry due to lack of rain."  "Rain" is equivalent to
    "rein" or restraint, so a lack of rein may indicate "overspending."
    No one else wanted to take on this financial burden.  You were "...the
    only one who rode [rOWED]."  Every turn the carousel takes seems to be
    a turn for the worse.  So, when the music stops, you stop the payments.
    
    This non-renewal creates a new situation.  There are repercussions.
    Obligations aren't being met!  Sparks fly.  Tempers erupt.  There are
    fireworks.  Default leads to foreclosure which culminates in bank-
    ruptcy.  There are fIREmen everywhere.  Who's responsible for this
    mess?  Who stopped the merry-go-round?  The whole thing is gutted!
    Investigators are looking for you.  If they find you, what do you
    think will happen?  Don't you have a perfect right to stop your
    carousel if you want to?  You have proof that your investments were
    worthless - it's the fake coin, right there in your left pocket.
    Perhaps you were the someone (sum one) who removed the "danger sign"
    as soon as you understood (got on to) the gravity of the situation.
    If you hadn't known of the danger sign - that is, of the possibility
    of fire, of being wiped out financially - how would you have known
    that the sign had been removed?  Perhaps there was no sign there at
    all initially.  But you saw it later.  You really did.
    
    
    Virginia                                                
    
    
     
    
    
1521.8Update on The Death in My FamilyTYFYS::SLATERAs we see ourselves, so do we become.Sat Aug 17 1991 05:4371
    re: .4 - .6
    
    Hello all:
    
    Thanks for your warm wishes!
    
    After many, many hours of crying, I have just about reconciled myself
    to the fact that my sister, Dana, really has quietly passed from this
    life into the next.
    
    My other surviving sister, Sheryl, offered to finance a visit by me to
    see my parents (with whom my sister lived).  It will be the first time
    that I have ever visited them without any of the other four siblings
    around.  With Dana gone, that only leaves me (the oldest of all),
    David  (second oldest), Sheryl (next), and Keith.  Dana was dependant
    on my parents because of her poor health over the past five years.  She
    was also my mother's and father's best friend, so I am hoping that my
    folks individually and collectively surivive this shock.
    
    When I was growing up in the family, I was eight years older than Dana,
    and that plus the fact that she was my half sister and we were very,
    very different, well we just didn't get along real well.  I mostly
    ignored her or paid very little attention to her - that is until about
    two years ago.  In 1989, I made peace with my parents and with Dana. 
    We quit our arguing about who was right and who was wrong and just
    decided to love and be supportive of each other, as best as we could.
    
    If there's a lesson here, I would say it is to live each day, so that
    in each of your relationships, you:
    
      1) Let the other person know you love them
    
      2) Don't ever say, act out, or think anything that you would regret
         if you were to discover that that person (or yourself for that 
         matter) were going to die and be gone forever.
    
      3) DON'T PROCRASTINATE on items 1 and 2!!  None of us live forever;
         and very, very few of us ever know the exact time of our departure
         from this world.
    
    
    I took the time to write my sister often during the last year of her
    life.  I also sent her little trinkets (unicorns, a pocket radio,
    etc.).  And she really appreciated all of it.  In fact, I was the only
    sibling demonstrating my affection in this manner.  This doesn't make
    me a saint - just a person who cared deeply and wasn't afraid to say it
    or show it.
    
    My sister, Sheryl, I begged her to write Dana about two and a half
    weeks ago.  I had an inkling that Dana would be gone from us in three
    to six months.  Unfortunately, I was more right than I ever imagined. 
    I would have a real tough time living with the knowledge that I had the
    ability to encourage my sister with something as simple as a kind word
    on a postcard, and I procratinated and didn't do it.
    
    The letters I have from my youngest sister, Dana, are now real
    treasures to me.  I saw her improve from a terrible existance into a
    person who was really feeling and saying some neat things.  She went
    into the next Life very sure that I and my folks loved her very much.
    
    If you have the ability to spread some cheer - don't wait.  Do it
    today!
    
    Wish me luck as I travel to Georgia to console my parents and try to
    gather up the pieces so they can make a change of scenery to Florida.
    
    In Light and Love,
    
    
    Bill
    
1521.9Thanks Bill...UTRTSC::MACKRILLCancel that frown...Mon Aug 19 1991 08:539
    re -1.
    Thanks Bill,
    
    Your courage and spirit and also your words of advice are inspiring.
    Thanks for sharing.
    
    Kind thoughts to you and yours,
    
    Brian
1521.10Good luckNMSUV2::NAMMon Aug 19 1991 12:4710
    	Deepest Sympathy for your loss Bill & also best wishes for courage
    during this sad period in your life....Do remember that this very
    difficult time will pass & better things will come as long as you hang
    on to your positive outlook & open heart....don't lose it,it is your 
    strength...
    
    	Good Luck...
    
    Kevin
    
1521.11RIPPLE::GRANT_JOdragonflies draw flameMon Aug 19 1991 13:4515
    re: .8  (Bill)
    
    Quite true, quite true.
    
    My father and I got to be very good friends during what turned
    out to be the last year of his life.  He really opened up and
    talked about his childhood (he was abused terribly) and his
    military experiences. (in the OSS during WWII - some pretty
    horrible stuff)  Trying to understand why he was the way
    he was...
    
    Not a moment too soon.
    
    Joel
    
1521.14A Final Note About Dana Katherine HicksonTYFYS::SLATERAs we see ourselves, so do we become.Wed Aug 21 1991 17:0176
    Hello DEJAVU Readers:
    
    I just returned from Columbus, Georgia where I had travelled from my
    home in Colorado Springs in order to console my parents after my
    sister's passing.
    
    It was one of the toughest things I've ever done.  They REALLY needed
    the support, consolation, and love that I came to provide.  They are
    pretty well broke both financially and emotionally, so being there was
    a real godsend for them.
    
    One of my sister's last wishes was to have her body cremated and have
    the ashes spread on a mountain in Colorado.  In one of the most somber
    events that I have ever participated in, I went with my step-father to
    the mortuary, to receive the plastic box containing her cremated
    remains.  I carried these back in my suitcase to Colorado and plan very
    soon to deposit the ashes on a mountain closeby, as she requested.
    
    As I mentioned in 1511.8, we should always strive to be close to those
    that count in our lives, because you never know about the time when
    they will no longer be with us.  But I learned another very important
    lesson in all of this and I wanted to share it with DEJAVU readers:  No
    matter how far off base a person gets with their life, there is always
    a chance that they can come around and get it together as long as they
    are breathing.  True, it is more tragic if most of a life gets wasted,
    but there is always hope for the drug addict, the alcoholic, the down
    and out, as long as they are alive.
    
    My sister Dana, died from complications of cirrhosis of the liver that
    were brought about by her previous lifestyle.  In the last couple of
    years before her passing, it became apparent through her reformed
    lifestyle, her conversation, and her letters, that she had "come clean"
    and received some enlightenment in the process.  Not a "religious
    experience", but definitely a soul-healing experience.  She deeply
    regretted the role she had played in her own physical demise, but still
    clung to the hope that she would get better and be able to live a
    "normal", productive life.  The last five years of her life were really
    tough.  I would say that she probably suffered about 10 lifetimes worth
    of physical pain and discomfort, because she could not take painkillers
    for her pain.  Since her liver was not functioning very well,
    painkillers were considered to be life threatening and therefore not
    allowed at all.  She even ran up on severe complications with her teeth
    and abcesses that resulting in having to have all her teeth pulled
    in the last year of her life.  But the amazing thing is that despite
    all the pain, hardship, loss of dignity (and regaining it), and the
    tough times, well, she never lost her spirit and gave up hope for a
    better life.  For many months before she died, she kept telling my
    mother, "When I get my teeth (dentures), I'm going to do this...".  
    
    I never realized until I got down to Columbus to console my parents
    just  1) how much she had suffered;  2) how much it meant to her to get
    the letters and packages I had sent;  3) how much like a 12 to 16 year
    old little girl she really was;  4) how much my folks really needed me
    during this time of family crisis.
    
    I hope to get up to a mountain (Pike's Peak probably) this weekend to
    place her ashes there.  I plan to write one last letter to her and read
    it aloud before I spread out her ashes.  I also plan to bring my guitar
    and play "Will the Circle Be Unbroken?".  My step-father asked that I
    photograph the location and mark it on a map for him.  After all this
    has been completed, I can close this sad chapter of my life and just be
    thankful for the last pleasant memories of my sister and her letters.
    
    My management was kind enough to give me the time off to allow for the
    travel, and our secretary arranged to have a plant sent.  This plant,
    by the way, was the only thing my parents received, besides a special
    sympathy card that I sent.  I am thankful that even in uncertain times,
    Digital people, such as my management, our secretary, my DEC friends,
    and you the DEJAVU readers, can extend your kindness, friendship,
    sympathy, and love.  You are all very special people - Thank you all.
    
    In Light and Love,
    
    
    Bill
    
1521.15VNAED2::KARINThrough an open door ...Wed Aug 21 1991 17:038
    Bill,
    
    I had tears in my eyes when I read you note.
    I'm holding you, Dana and your family in my thoughts.
    
    sending light and love to you, my friend
    Karin
    
1521.16What happened?!SWAM1::MILLS_MATo Thine own self be TrueWed Aug 21 1991 17:0410
    Something strange must have happened here. I was reading Bill's entry
    for today (I assume) and all of a sudden it was gone!
    
    Bill, did you delete it? If so, please repost it. I found it very
    moving. I can't think of what else could have happened.
    
    
    Marilyn
    
    
1521.17Just a glitch.SWAM1::MILLS_MATo Thine own self be TrueWed Aug 21 1991 17:0910
    
    It's back. Guess it was my system/network or whatever.
    
    In any case, Bill, you and your family are very special and have the
    kind of love that money can never buy nor lack of it destroy.....
    
    May God keep you and yours in His care,
    
    
    Marilyn
1521.18ATSE::FLAHERTYReincarnation is making a comeback!Wed Aug 21 1991 17:319
    Bill,
    
    The tribute you have planned on the mountain for your sister sounds
    very loving and beautiful.
    
    Wishing you well in your special farewell to Dana,
    
    Ro
    
1521.19WILLEE::FRETTSI'm part of you/you're part of meWed Aug 21 1991 17:4319
    Moved to follow Bill's note.
    
    C.
    
             <<< BOMBE::DISK_NOTES$LIBRARY:[000000]DEJAVU.NOTE;1 >>>
                             -< Psychic Phenomena >-
================================================================================
Note 1521.13        A Strange Dream - Interpretations Please!           13 of 18
WILLEE::FRETTS "I'm part of you/you're part of me"    9 lines  21-AUG-1991 13:54
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Bill,
    
    Wishing your sister Godspeed as she continues her journey in
    spirit.  Sending you, Dana and your family healing prayers and
    thoughts of strength.  Please know that Dana is aware of your
    love and caring, and will be close by on the mountaintop.
    
    Take care,
    Carole
1521.20Thank you for sharing - that was so touchingCGVAX2::PAINTERmoon, wind, waves, sandWed Aug 21 1991 19:407
    
    Bill,
    
    You've all been through so much.  May God shine light around you and
    your family, especially at this time.
    
    Cindy
1521.21VS2K::GENTILEALL-IN-1 File Cabinet for MS-DOSThu Aug 22 1991 12:217
    Bill,
    
    That was a very moving note. I feel the sadness. Thank you for entering
    the note. Be gentle with yourself in this hard time.
    
    Sam
    
1521.22very movingNMSUV2::NAMThu Aug 22 1991 13:548
    Bill ,
    
    	It was sad to read but also very heartening.My thoughts are with
    you through this sad part of your life.
    
    Good luck.
    
    Kevin 
1521.23CARTUN::MISTOVICHFri Aug 23 1991 12:564
    Bill,  your sister is always with you, she's just around the corner. 
    Love and healing light to you and all of your family.
    
    Mary
1521.24Thanks for the Love, Support and Warm WishesTYFYS::SLATERAs we see ourselves, so do we become.Fri Aug 23 1991 15:51139
    Greetings DEJAVU Readers!
    
    Thank you again for your kindness, warm wishes, love and support during
    this time of loss and grieving.  It's amazing to the point of being a
    miracle, that even though I have never seen or talked with any of you
    (except Karin Schubert in Austria, when she visited the US), you are
    able to be supportive and I do feel "connected" with you.  I don't
    understand it, nor do I think it's fully explainable.  I just feel your
    love and support and I know it's here with me.
    
    I didn't say so yet, but I really do appreciate the attempts at the
    interpretation of the "Burning Carousel" dream I had.  I believe that
    occurred on the evening of 8/12, and I entered the note on the
    afternoon or early evening of 8/13.
    
    The sequence of events with my sister passing away is shown below:
    
     Wed. 8/14, 10:30 - Dana gets checked into hospital after for some tests.
                        main symptoms: malaise and loss of appetite.  
    
     Wed. 8/14, late  - My step-father (Dana's real father), who had taken
                        Dana to the hospital, planned to visit her, but it
                        got late, and so he planned to visit her around
                        8:30 am on 8/15.  My step-father didn't make the
                        visit due to being very tired from working on their
                        vehicles in preparation for a move to Florida to
                        find work.
    
     Thu. 8/15, 02:00 - My mother wakes up in the middle of the night with
                        some leg cramps.  Unable to sleep for some reason,
                        she is restless and remains awake.
    
     Thu. 8/15, 02:09 - Dana's body is pronounced dead at St Francis
                        hospital.  She was in room 209.
    
     Thu. 8/15, 02:45 - A female sheriff's deputy knocks on my parents door
                        at their home in Columbus to tell them they must
                        come quickly to the hospital, that it was about
                        Dana, it is an emergency, and that she hopes it
                        isn't real bad news.
    
     Thu. 8/15, 03:10 - My parents arrive at the hospital.  A nurse walks
                        with them to Dana's room, turns to them as they
                        enter the room and says, "Dana expired at 2:09 am".
                        Her body was still slightly warm.  Her face was
                        uncovered, and my step-father said she looked more
                        serene than he had seen her in years.  My mother
                        fainted from the shock of Dana's passing.
    
     Thu. 8/15, 08:15 - My step-father calls me collect (from Columbus to
                        Colorado Springs) to tell me of Dana's passing. 
                        After 10 minutes of crying and talking, I have him
                        give me the pay phone number and hang up.  I call
                        up my brother, David, in Eau Claire, Wisconsin,
                        then quickly call my step-father back to effect a
                        three-way call.  I let my step-father tell David
                        the sad news.
    
     Thu. 8/15, 10:40 - I attempt to come into work.  My boss recognizes my
                 (MDT)  grief-stricken state and send me home to get over 
                        it.
    
     Thu. 8/15, Eve.  - I cried buckets over the loss.  My girlfriend, who
                        had never even met Dana, cries with me.  She feels
                        my pain and the loss.
    
     Fri. 8/16, 02:09 - My mother wakes up in the middle of the night
                        again.  Mysteriously, she is arroused, looks at the
                        clock, it says, "2:09".  My mother thinks of Dana,
                        and the fact that she was pronounced dead at 2:09
                        on Thursday.
     
     Fri. 8/16, Aft.  - My step-father makes arrangements to have Dana's
                        body cremated.
    
     Fri. 8/16, Aft.  - My sister, Sheryl, in Baton Rouge, LA, calls me to
                        tell me that she would be happy to finance a trip
                        for me from Colorado to Georgia to console my 
                        parents.  I make the travel arrangements with our
                        travel agent here in the building.  I also called
                        my dad's boss to get him to relay the message that
                        I'm coming down there.
    
     Sat. 8/17, Eve.  - I arrive at my folks home in Columbus.  They are
                        very glad to see me.
    
     Mon. 8/19, Morn. - I accompany my step-father to get Dana's cremated 
                        remains.
    
     Mon. 8/19, Morn. - My step-father tells me that he thinks that Dana
                        may have just given up so she wouldn't be a 
                        hindrence to their attempt to move to Florida and
                        find work there.  He said she felt somewhat guilty
                        that her illness and the related expenses and 
                        hardships had held them back.
    
     Tue. 8/20, Aft.  - I travel back to Colorado with Dana's ashes in my
                        suitcase.
    
     Wed. 8/21, Morn. - I enter the note - "A Final Note on Dana Katherine
                        Hickson" into the DEJAVU notes file, to explain the
                        life, the loss, and what I planned to do.  The
                        responses were very heartwarming.  I have shared 
                        these with my parents, because they felt like Dana
                        only had four friends in the world - me, Mom, Dad,
                        and  Anne, who was a nurse and their next door
                        neighbor.
    
     Fri. 8/23, Morn. - I entered this note.
    
     Sat. 8/24, Noon  - I plan to deposit Dana's ashes on Pike's Peak in
                        Colorado.  My girlfriend, Kathy, will join me.
    
     
    I thought  you the readers would be interested in this sequence of
    events because of the strange "coincidence" of the timing of her
    passing.  
    
    I am reconciled to the fact that she is at peace now where her spirit
    is.  I will miss her, and I'm sure I haven't cried my final tears about
    all this, but I know she doesn't suffer any more and that she is
    happier now.
    
    From the depths of my heart, I sincerely thank all the DEJAVU readers
    for their responses, both the written ones and the heart felt thoughts
    and love you send.
    
    There is much we don't understand in this Life, but I am thankful to
    have experienced all this and your love and kindness.
    
    Peace, Light, and Love,
    
    
    Bill
    
     
     
                        
    
1521.25Thank You, Bill.CGVAX2::PAINTERmoon, wind, waves, sandFri Aug 23 1991 17:161
    
1521.26Ask not for whom . . . .CSLALL::FARNHAMMon Aug 26 1991 17:323
    You could consider whether the carousel's "death" was a premonition of
    your sister's death.  The dream may have been intended to prepare you
    by letting you experience some negative feelings.
1521.27Me, Too...TYFYS::SLATERAs we see ourselves, so do we become.Wed Aug 28 1991 23:326
    Re: .26  
    
    Thanks for the insight.  I, too, though a dream THAT dramatic might
    have foretold my sister's passing.
    
    Bill
1521.28Would It Be Proper to Share This Letter?TYFYS::SLATERAs we see ourselves, so do we become.Wed Aug 28 1991 23:3620
    The lettter I wrote to my sister who passed away on 8/15/91, I  read
    when I deposited her ashes on Pike's Peak.  
    
    My girlfriend, Kathy, thought it was one of the best letters I've ever
    written.
    
    If any of the DEJAVU readers would like, I can share the letter in it's
    entirity here under 1521.  It contains about 80 lines of text.
    
    If it seems improper, I'll not place it here.
    
    Please advise.
    
    
    In Light and Love,
    
    
    
    Bill
    
1521.29Your choiceCGVAX2::PAINTERmoon, wind, waves, sandThu Aug 29 1991 20:094
         
    If you'd like to, Bill, it's up to you.
    
    Cindy
1521.30A Farewell Letter To My SisterTYFYS::SLATERAs we see ourselves, so do we become.Thu Aug 29 1991 22:38100
    Hello DEJAVU readers,
    
    I thought I'd go ahead and share this last letter I wrote to my sister
    and read on the mountain as I deposited her ashes just a little below
    the top of the treeline of Pike's Peak.  Only myself and my girlfriend
    Kathy were there. 
    
    Again I thank you all for your kind thoughts and warm wishes as I and
    my family endured the passing of my sister.
    
    In Light and Love,
    
    
    Bill
    
    =======================================================================
A Farewell Letter to Dana Katherine Hickson

Saturday, August 24, 1991

Pike's Peak, Colorado

Dear Dana,

I am writing you this last time to say goodbye, and welcome to your 
new life on the other side.

I cried so much and so hard at the news of your passing.  Why?  Because
I loved you and because as a person I saw you making so much progress
in the last year.  You turned out to be one of the most special people
in my life.  In the last six months or so of your time on earth, I was 
amazed at the letters you were writing and how frequently you wrote me
back.

I went down to Columbus, Georgia to console Mom and Dad.  They miss you
real bad.  They badly needed the consolation and love that I was there 
to provide.  Mom and Dad will make it okay, but please know that your
physical presence will be sorely missed.  They were looking forward to
bringing you to Florida with them, but now it will be just them going
to Florida and they will be leaving Georgia on Monday, August 26.

Dana, I want you to know that we all loved you very much.  I know that
Sheryl, David, and Keith didn't do such a great job of writing very
frequently, but they each loved you in their own special way.  I know
they were happy that I could travel to Columbus in their place to
console Mom and Dad.

We don't know a whole lot about what it's like where you are at.  But
we do know that God is a loving caring, merciful God, and that you
are in his loving care and protection.

When you reflect back on the memories of your life, remember the love,
kindness, and joy.  We know you had some very hard times and suffered
terribly in the last years of your life.  Leave those memories behind.
You are in a much more beautiful place now, and there is no need for
any sorrow or regrets.  I also want you to know that your tough,
persevering spirit, and your sweet, thoughtful, compassionate nature
touched and inspired many people's lives.  Many of these you don't even
know, but hundreds of people through the years will know the beauty of
your life and the type of person you blossomed into before you had to
leave us to go be with God.

Knowing you, talking with you, and writing you in the last year of your 
life, it taught me some very important lessons about Life and people
and how to treat them.  Among these lessons is the fact that none of us
live here in this reality on earth forever.  Each of us has an appointed
time to depart and none of us knows what it is.  So it behooves us to 
always be at peace with one another and to express the love that God
put us here to give one another.  And I also learned to never judge
a person's life as a failure no matter how bad things are or what their
age is.  There is always a chance for a person to change their ways
and come around to enlightenment and awareness, that is, until they take
their last breath here.  I am very thankful for these lessons, Dana.

So, I am going to wrap up this letter.  I really doubt if you can hear
me read this aloud, but I hope that at least God opened your eyes and 
ears in the days following your passing, enough so you could see how
much you really meant to all of us.  You were and still are a very 
special soul to us, Dana.

As you requested to Dad, I have brought your ashes back to Colorado
and will be depositing them here on Pike's Peak.  It is beautiful
here.  I will photograph and mark the location for Mom and Dad.  Your
good friends, Anne and Gene asked that I bring a flower for them and
place it at the location and I have done that.  In a few moments, I
will play "Will the Circle Be Unbroken" for you, and for us.

We thank you for the consideration you had for us, for your love, and
for your beautiful spirit, Dana.  We are grateful for the time you were
with us.

Farewell, dear sister, you will never be forgotten.

I love you now and always,


Bill
    
    ======================================================================
                             (End of Letter)
1521.31GIAMEM::ROSEFri Aug 30 1991 06:507
    Bill,
    
    Your letter was beautiful.  Thank you for entering it.  You and your
    family and your sister will continue to be an inspiration to me.
    
    Virginia
    
1521.32Thankyou againNMSUV2::NAMFri Aug 30 1991 08:525
    Thankyou again Bill for your ability to share...It was a lovely
    
    Farewell.
    
    Kevin
1521.33EMDS::HORRIGANSat Sep 07 1991 21:1728
    Bill - 
    
    Let me first offer greetings to you, for since I did not know you until
    now. But I feel like I know you from your messages here, and feel that
    I now know a Bit about your sister, Dana.
    
    Forgive me if I make a mistake about names or places or events, for
    this note comes from the heart and I want it to flow with the energy
    created by the reading I've done here.
    
    I also offer condolences, and warm wishes to you and your family. You
    certainly have had a lot of experiences lately. Much Happiness to all
    of you now and in the future.
    
    Be assured (as much as I can assure you :-) that your sister heard your
    prayers and letters and thoughts. I believe this to be true, and so do
    many others. It sounds as though you all made the best of the
    situation, and were all connected together when you needed to be.
    
    My best to your sister, and I will try to tell her so. I will never
    again think of Pikes Peak with thinking of Dana.
    
    I will try and relate my feelings about what happens after moving on in
    the other note.
    
    live and love,
    
    edh.
1521.34Go for the brass ring!FSOA::LSIGELMy dog ate my briefcaseWed Oct 23 1991 18:208
    Bill,
    
    The carousel ride probably symbolizes, you have had some hard luck and
    you are going around in circles, you want it to stop. I know you must
    be going through a tough time but dont worry, things get better,
    remember the carousel also has a brass ring!
    
    Lynne :-)