Conference hydra::dejavu

    Although I have never replied to this conference before, I am an
    avid reader who has enjoyed the numerous topics (many over my head)
    and feel like I have come to know many of you by your replys.
    
    I am no authority or can I quote one but I feel "LIFE GOES ON".
    Your brother was a principle member of your family while he was
    living and I don't believe that has changed since his passing.  He
    loved you during his time on this planet and that love and interest
    in your well being is just as much alive today as at any other time!!
    
    I was very close to my father and even dreamed of my mother (IN
    AN OLD WEDDING DRESS) shortly before his death.  In the dream I
    was trying on wedding gowns with my sister when my mother came up
    to us in an old yellowed wedding gown.  In the dream I asked her
    what are you doing here and why do you have an old grown when ours
    are so shiny and new, and I know your dead (I was 14 when she died
    and she was sick at least 6 years before that) I didn't get an answer
    but woke with a feeling of doom about my father.  When I came down
    that morning my father told me he had a dream about my Mother (same
    night).  I still remenber panicking inside trying to push away the
    thought that something was going to happen to my Father.  When these
    thoughts came into my mind I would not acknowledge them.  Shortly
    there after my father sat down under a tree in the backyard and
    died of a massive coronary.   I was devistated and it all seemed
    to catch up with me about six months later but during this time
    I never questioned the fact that my father was still alive and he
    loved me just as much as ever, and took consolation in the fact
    that now my father must know how much I really loved him.
    
    One night after a crying jag, feeling pretty sorry for myself, I pictured
    my father in my mind and surrounded him with light, sending thoughts
    of love to him.  I had never been very good a meditation (keep falling
    asleep) but all of sudden I had this pent up energy like I had to
    do something and wasn't sure what, so I started to write.  I had
    not only ever wrote a poem but never had any desire to.  I wrote
    the following two poem and later the additional one with no effort
    at all they just flowed into words.  If they are to lengthy you
    don't have to read them but please be assured that not only does
    life continue but love creates a bond that trancends all barriers.
    Remenber your brother is still with you and just wants to let you
    know he there.
    
    Where is the MAN       who stood so tall,
                           who guided my steps and eased my
                           falls?
    
    Where is the MAN       my teacher at hand,
                           patience and trust with each
                           reprimand?
    
    Where is the MAN       who stayed through the years,
                           who visioned our dreams and answered
                           our prayers?
    
    Where is the MAN       with a heart of gold,
                           a smile he wore ever so bold?
    
    Where is the MAN       the years took its toll,
                           but love and strength he did unfold?
    
    Where is the MAN       that nurtured our nest,
                           always accepting if you have done
                           your best?
    
    Where is the MAN       always my friend wisdom and
                           heartache strolled hand and hand?
    
    Where is the Man,      his losses untold,
                           surely HE has a mansion of gold.
    
    Where is the MAN       who lives in our hearts,
                           who stirred us about until we found
                           the right path?
    
    Where is the MAN       they say you are gone,
                           but not from hearts, you will
                           always live on.
    
    
    The following poem reflects how feel about DAD
    
    (Wrote in the same manner)
    
    Seasons pass, some time it's been
       since he left his many friends.
    An empty chair a silent space
       many has known a saddened face.
    
    Then one day, on an angels way
       a message came our way,
    No tears for me, for can't you see
       that I have been set free.
    
    I do not lie where you know
       but a different world I know
    Not to far or to near
       my world has no fear.
    
    Just smile for me on a fresh spring day
       when the sun warms the earth.
    Take time to dance in a summer breeze
       as it greets the earth.
    
    Remenber me to friendly hearts that
       I left behind.
    Take the hand of the little ones
       in their uphill climb.
    
    Put love in each day,
       send a prayer on it's way
    For love survives all bounds.
    
    Have patience to spare
       and be willing to share, the
    heart you call your own.
    
    Have faith in yourself and each
       new day, wherever you may be
    For the best you can be
       is the way it should be
    Then you'll BE HAPPY
       just like me
    
    I don't want to be so winded but I can give you many instances
    that led me to belive that life goes on! 
    
     
     
                                         
    
    t  

    
    Re.1
    
    Thank you.  Your last poem brought a few tears to my eyes.
    
    Cindy

    re: .0
    
    I enjoyed reading this interesting note - and will give you my explana-
    tion of the experience you described.  You asked, "Why would my late
    brother [Craig] make himself known to her [Mari] at this time and why
    did he ask about me?"  You also added that Mari is level-headed and
    wouldn't exaggerate such an experience or make it up.
    
    I see no reason to preclude that Mari isn't exactly as you described
    her.  But I do think that she had two hallucinations - one visual
    (Craig), and the other auditory (Craig's words.)  What *does* a visual
    hallucination look like, anyway?  Graham Reed in his book, "The Psych-
    ology of Anomalous Experience," p.49, says that such hallucinations
    "...usually have 'substance'- they appear to be three-dimensional and
    solid.  They throw shadows, and their movements and positions relate 
    naturally to objectively real features of the environment.  For exam-
    ple, a hallucinatory visitor walks on the floor, through open doors,
    round the furniture rather than through it, [and] may be partially or
    totally concealed by real objects....  In other words, a hallucination
    of Craig would look exactly like Craig (assuming he had actually ap-
    peared.)  
    
    It's interesting, too, that Craig appeared to Mari in her daughter's
    room rather than in her room or in a more neutral spot.  By doing 
    this Craig becomes identified with Mari's daughter; and a daughter 
    *is* an offspring or creation of its mother, just as a hallucination
    is a production and projection of its creator who, in this scenario, 
    is Mari.  
    
    The auditory hallucination - which Mari had before she saw Craig in
    the bedroom - is really a beautiful example of the often ambiguous
    way in which the "unconscious" talks.  The man's voice says, "Did you
    get him off ok?"  What appears to be a simple question - "Did you get
    Drew off ok?" - is simultaneously another question about a different
    person, Craig.  Craig is represented by the words "him off," which is
    a compacted way of saying "he who is off or away."  And the word "get"
    in this context seems to mean "grasp" or "bring back" successfully.
    Mari seems to be asking herself about the outcome of the family gather-
    ing.  She seems to be saying, "How did we do, in relation to Craig?"
    When Mari finds the smiling Craig, who is obviously alive and well, she
    finds her answer.
    
    You also asked why Craig would appear *when* he did.  The most likely
    explanation is that your family meeting created an atmosphere of ex-
    pectancy.  Expectation or mental set can be a powerful motivator, esp-
    ecially if coupled with visual imagery - which you may have concentrat-
    ed on as you were thinking about Craig.  And when Mari arrived home -
    after dropping you off - to what was presumably an empty house, she may
    have been daydreaming.
    
    Your question, "Why did [Craig] ask about me?" is a good one.  Why, in-
    deed?  If he were real, he probably wouldn't have had to ask.  He would
    most likely have known the answer.  Perhaps he was just making pleasant
    conversation.  But if that were so, why did he disappear so fast?
    
    Virginia   
    
    
    

    It may have been Mari that changed.  Perhaps she is just more sensitive
    to this type of thing now.  Or perhaps she is the person in your family
    who would be most able to handle this type of experience.  Or perhaps
    it was an experience that she needed to have right now.
    
    I've also had the experience of hearing voices.  I was driving a woman
    friend home and asked her which would be the easiest way to get to her
    house.  Both she and a male voice answered, "Go straight."  Both she
    and I heard the man's reply but have no idea why it happened (a few
    guesses maybe).
    
    What was Mari's reaction to this (other than intense surprise, that
    is)?
    
    Meredith
    

    Drew,
    
    As Virginia said in .3, Craig's appearance/voice could have been a
    hallucination, and yet on the other side of the coin, I doubt if there's 
    any way I could be *convinced* that he wasn't really there either.
    
    One thing that probably cannot be denied is that Mari's *experience* 
    was real to her, based on what you've written.
    
    Another thing that is for sure, is that *you* will never be the same
    again.  Mari's experience has changed *you* - irrespective of how "real"
    Craig's appearance may or may not have been.
    
    And that has left with you questions.  Good questions (imho) about 
    the nature of reality and the possibility of life after life.  Personally, 
    I think this is a great!  If Craig did co-create this experience with 
    Mari, my hat goes off to him (and her)!  Good going!  You're helping 
    someone (some people) grow and reach further to explore this *wonderous* 
    creation we're all part of.  
    
    You touched me too Craig!  Thanks.  And thank you too Drew.
    
    karen.*  :-)
    the good work. 

RE: .5 (karen.*)
    
    You have set up a wholly unnecessary dichotomy.  Saying that the
    apparition was an hallucination does not imply that it wasn't *real*,
    or that it was a fantasy.  It only means that it wasn't seen by
    the physical eye or heard by the physical ear.  If some inner sense
    detected a presence and communicated that fact to the conscious by
    "editing" the person into the normal sensory stream, the result would
    be an hallucination, but no less real for that.
    
    I firmly believe that most apparitions are hallucinations, but strongly
    suspect that at least some of those hallucinatory apparitions are real
    in some sense.
    
    						Topher

    Topher .6,
    
    > You have set up a wholly unnecessary dichotomy.
    
    Who?  Li'l ol' me?  Gee, how 'bout that!  Not surprising, I don't 
    see it quite the same way.  Maybe it was you ( *B^o ) who set the 
    dichotomy up Topher?  But...I'm happy to be credited with an "assist" 
    on it!
    
    All kidding aside, I appreciate your personal definition/understanding 
    of "hallucination".  My comments (for anyone who needs to know) pertain 
    to *my* interpretation of Webster's:
    
    	"An illusion of perceiving something that is nonexistent.  
    	 A delusion." 
    
    Thanks for your thoughts.  You've given me another perspective
    in which to consider the nature of hallucinations.  (And Craig,
    if you're listenin' buddy - I *still* thank ya!)
    
    Karen.*  ;-)
                

    I, too, have had similar experiences with the sight/sound perception. 
    To perceive information, emotions, or visuals etc. in this way is truly
    a blessing.  However, with all due respect to all noters, I think one
    point deserves consideration......  
    
    Drew, although we are intelligent
    beings and that intelligence has served us well in many cases, it has
    also served as a stumbling block.  I am not talking about blind faith,
    but the ability to dispose of judgement and just "experience".  This
    experience was obviously of great importance to you and your sister (as
    I can well imagine).  I do not mean to infer that you should ignore or
    repress your curiousity, but more to the point, look within yourself
    for your answers.  If Craig's asking about you concerns you, perhaps
    you would benefit from asking Craig what he meant.  I have found that
    asking my higher self to help me dream on a certain subject or help me
    attain information (that for which I am ready ) to be very helpful. 
    (please pardon that burdensome sentence.)  Don't try to force the
    issue, just hold the thought and imagine it slipping into your deepest
    concsiousness.  It also helps to make the mental note that you wish to
    clearly remember the dream.
    
    Plan to spend a little time in the morning recalling the dream.  If you
    can be true to your heart and self, you may be able to draw some
    information from dream.  
    
    Just to cover myself, I want to say that I do not believe this to be
    the only way to understand this situation, but I believe your own
    higher self with speak the truth for you.
    
    Hope I was of some help.   Pleasant dreams and God Bless
    
    Lisa

RE: .8 (Karen.*)
    
    > My comments ... pertain to *my* interpretatio of Webster's
    
    Once again we find some of the limitation of dictionaries.  They don't
    deal well with technical terms, and the requirements of brevity can
    confuse issues of meaning.  The *image* is nonexistent, but it may
    represent "real" information, whether obtained via ESP or via other
    unconscious reasoning/perceptual processes.
    
    						Topher
    

    Topher,
    
    Thanks for entering the more in-depth technical definition of
    "hallucination".  My understanding has been broadened - I 
    appreciate that very much!
    
    karen.*

    I have a question about the base note.  What exactly was the
    relationship between Mari and Craig?  Was Mari his sister-in-law?  Were
    they close friends?  I'm just a little confused.  Thanks ahead for
    clearing things up.
    
    Jennifer
    

    Re: .13
    
    I (Drew) am one of four boys (Craig, Steve, Jon, and moi).  Steve is
    married to Mari.  That makes Mari Craig's sister-in-law.
    
    I am grateful for all the input on this occurrance.  It will continue to
    puzzle me for a while.                                
    
    Thanks again!
    
    - Drew