Conference hydra::dejavu

    
    I can seriously identify with this.  I am beginning to "warp out" of it
    slowly but surely, but I feel like I'm mired down in some cosmic
    mud....
    
    Hey Marcia, any comments astrologically speaking?
    
    Guy

    Well at least I'm not alone..
    

    Something is going down, and, while not Cosmic or Permanent, it's
    interesting.  The New Moon happens topday, and it's leading to a
    full lunar eclipse in half a month.
    
    These could be interesting times.
    
    If you're of a mind to, keeping a short diary might be instructive.
    
    Steve Kallis, Jr.
    
    
    My personal opinion:
    
    This is the end of a relatively "dark" period.  After the 16th,
    there should be an infusion of new energy.
    
    SK

    .3
    
    re: end of a dark period - 
    
    very interesting and i am going to keep a diary - there is a major
    catasrophic (in my mind) thing going on in my life and is about
    to come to a head.  the 16th you say?  
    
    personally, i can't wait
    
    but i will

    
    I have felt it too.Quite interesting.I have had a lot of energy for
    other things though,such as music.
    
    I sometimes feel I am picking up on other peoples emotional states.
    Is it possible that it could be a domino effect of negative emotional
    states effecting us?
    
    Peace
    Michael
    

    
    re: .5 (Michael)
    
    That's interesting about the music stuff.  I've been utterly stagnant
    for some time, with a few small inspirations just over the last two
    weeks or so.  Those only came with what seemed a massive amount of 
    effort to "get playing."
    
    Things are out of whack though.  Last night my wife ended up telling me
    what *my* problems are - it's usually the opposite (must be all that
    Jung junk I read).  I can't wait for the 16th either. ;-)
    
    Guy

    Hello,
             God, I'm glad I read this note, because, I was beginning
    to worry a little about my depression. I have not been able to identify
    what has made me "down in the dumps" type of feeling. I was U.D.T.
    in the vietmnam war, and I fought like h*ll, to survive, but lately,
    I have been questioning, The value of life itself. WHY????
    
      I own a farm in New Hampshire and I have a beautiful Wife and
    Two, Lovely Children. Whats up with my Pestimistic attitude??
    
      Thank you all for, making me feel, "I am not alone". Because
    I sincerely, Thought I "WAS"......
    
    
              Life be good to you all!!!!!!! 
    
                                 Thanks again
    
    
                                  Tim
    
    

    Hi Tim,
    
    You might want to check out note 827.37.  There seems to be a
    correlation between the two notes.  A few of us will be attending 
    the workshop given by the author, Steve McFadden tomorrow night 
    at Native Spirit in Sudbury.
    
    Ro
    

    I've been feeling this way lately too and others I know have been
    experiencing it.  I asked Zeffel about it and her reply is 1034.81.
    Doesn't look like it'll let up.  Might want to check out what she
    had to say.
    
    Joanne
    

        Me Too!!!  About the last 2 weeks have been, not totally
     miserable but not nice either.  I have been feeling like I"m in a
     lethargic state with tons of emotional energy passing through me
     that I can't do a thing with!  It's been awful ... almost like a
     circuit overload and I can't turn the curcuit off!  It's been
     extremely draining.

        And I've had the feeling that something is in the process of
     happening around me and I can't focus on it.  It's not good or bad
     per say but it's there.  And it feels that it is going to be very
     significant or important to my life and relationships.

        Funny, as I did just buy a new guitar.  

        Think I'll have to be sure and keep a daily diary for a while
     here.  Hope you're right about the 16th Steve!

        Vicki

       Wow! this is too much. the last couple of weeks I haven't
    been getting too much sleep.  Communication has been a 
    stressful situation and I've been kind of irritable.  I feel 
    like I'm tied up in knots, I cant wait till the 16th.  Is this
    emotional overload or what?
    
    Gerry

    On the other hand, I feel just the opposite...
    Just recently I've started breaking out of my lethargy,
    am communicating well, getting things done, and 
    planning bigger and better things...
    
    /bruce
    

    Bruce, you're not alone.
    
    Mary

          <<< Note 1094.14 by VIDEO::NIKOLOFF "Piercing Illusions" >>>
                              -< positive signs? >-

re. .12


Yeah, Bruce me too.  Its like 'Life is not a struggle' anymore.
I ride to work and home with such a smile, and I also feel like something
is *about* to happen.....and it feels gooooood!

Gee, this is fun

Meredith

    Thank God,  I was wondering why I hadn't felt terrible like everyone
    else, so it's nice to know I'm not alone.  I've felt just great,
    I have a fun time at work (I love my job) and I'm not the least
    bit depressed when I get home either.  Things are looking up!
    
    Blessed be,
    
    Fran

    I've had a bad "virus" for the last three weeks that I'm just now
    starting to shake (which resulted in some of my most incoherent notes
    ever in other conferences -- or maybe I'm making excuses).  Since
    I felt lousy, uncomfortable, and bad-tempered from that its a bit hard
    for me to judge whether there was any other influences negative or
    positive.  Of course my getting sick could have been a *consequence*
    of some negative influences.
    
    					Topher

    I'm always saying how much I love my job but lately I cannot summon
    the enthusiasum. I've not long had a holiday.
    
    
    TAZ
    

I found this last  night and thought it might fit here.....
lets create positive energy??


		RELAX  

	Allow me to be clear
	I can see through your transparency
	Your words and deeds do not correlate
	Actions speak louder
         so would you please stop screaming
 	I can see but I can't seem to understand
	I can hear what you're not saying
	Life tends to be tedious at times
	Laden with rejection and stress
	Stress is a lie
	A bad habit, like insecurity
	A waste of time and mind
	A distraction to deal without
	Relief comes from within
	It revolves around your attitude
	It's as plain as your nose
	 and just as hard to see
	Breath deep, relax
	Live for today, not in the past		
	And relax.

                                                          
    Re.19 (Nikoloff)
    
    Thanks Meredith - that was excellent!
    
    Things are going well with me too.  In my 31 years (this time around), 
    this is the happiest and most peaceful I've ever felt.
    
    Cindy  

    Hi Meredith (.19),
    
    I like that; will extract it and keep it around.
    
    I find most of the time that I'm very happy and also busy with lots of
    different activities.  However, I still run into the problem sometimes of
    allowing other people's negative energy to be dumped on me.  Not in a
    big way any longer, but when I do see so many friends going through
    crises in their lives right now I try to be there for them.  Thanks to
    Marcia and others, I am learning to do that without being dragged down
    by it.  
    
    I find the inner peace I experience comes from living in the present.
    
    Ro
    

    Well it's summer, and being a LEO native and we all being under
    the influence of the zodiacal sign LEO for the last week or so...
    It's really a time for play and fun and parties. I have settled
    into the flow of not pushing too hard in the work arena, and when
    I get home I act like a kid...I play. I'll either ride a bike,swim,play
    softball,run,skateboard,play tennis. I put alot of emphasis on those kinds
    of activities. Of course paying the bills and doing the dishes isn't
    the greatest...but go with the flow...have fun. SO I have...I've
    been having a blast, learning how to play and have fun. There are
    priorities and then there are PRIORITIES...having fun is at the
    top!
    
    Next week I go on Vacation!
    
    Just do it...Have FUN! You'll feel great. Play...Live It Up....Act
    like a Kid...what the hell...why not?
                                   
    Who wants to be an Adult aaAAALLLLLLlll the time?
    
    Not me!      
    -Arthur
                              

    We negativites needed to vent that, but now you positive people
    have perked me up quite a lot.  Or maybe the natural course of the
    serious "blue funk" has taken it's course outahere!
    
    Anyway, I feel better - I really needed this
   
    Thanks Dejavuers for the support.  Interesting stuff we've learned
    here.  I loved that poem - even printed it out, I did!
    

                                                 
    Re.22 (Saarinen)
    
    Hi Arthur,
    
    Go for it, SB!  Have a wonderful vacation - you deserve it.
    
    And if you come back without a tan, we'll KNOW you had fun!
    
    (;^)
    
    Cindy

    Re .24 (Cindy):
    
    >And if you come back without a tan, we'll KNOW you had fun!
    
    Singin' in the rain?
    
    Steve Kallis, Jr.

    Well I might be going to Moonstone beach for a day or so
    during my vacation...there might not be any indication
    [without any tan lines] what kind of time I'll have. ;-)
    
    But thanks for the good wishes...and for all of you who 
    are feeling down... "Live'n Up Yourself and Don't Be 
                        A Drag...Live'n Up Yourself cause
                        Reggae is another bag"
    
                        Yeah Mon!   Little Rasta Inspiration!
    
    -A

      
    Re.25 (Steve K.)
    
    >>And if you come back without a tan, we'll KNOW you had fun!
    
    >Singin' in the rain?
    
    Nope - Dancing on the Ceiling!  (;^)
    
    Cindy

    Curious!  Many folk I know have expressed feeling "stale".
    
    Some have asked why things that usually come easy are so difficult
    right now.
    
    Even planning something fun seems like a huge effort.
    
    Is summer getting the best of us?
    
    I'm not feeling this myself, but sensing it in others.  Let me know if
    you find a remedy.
    
    Dr. Richard

    Just got in for the first time in a week and read this note, and
    thought I'd respond to Guy's question.
    
    There is a good bit going on astrologically this summer -- and not just
    the impending eclipse either.  What I've been watching is heavy outer
    planet transits, specifically a set of transiting conjunctions (when
    two planets sit in the same degree of the Zodiac) and oppositions (when
    two planets sit at opposite degrees of the Zodiac).
    
    Remember last year's big Saturn-Uranus conjunction?  Well, we have
    another conjunction this year, that of Saturn and Neptune, occurring at
    10 - 11 degrees of Capricorn.  It's a "triple hit" too, occurring 3
    times.  The first time was March 3, when both planets were in direct
    motion.  The second hit was June 24, when both planets were in
    retrograde motion (appearing to be "backing up" in the Zodiac when
    viewed from Earth).  The third hit will be November 13, with both
    planets direct again.
    
    Saturn represents a consolidating, crystallizing kind of energy, one
    that achieves results with enormous time and patience, that proceeds
    slowly, that certainly doesn't set anythning on fire in the process
    :-).  Neptune, on the other hand, is that urge within us to be At One
    with All and Everything - a dissolving, go-with-the-flow, spiritual
    urge, even reclusive.  And they are occupying the "weighty" sign of
    Capricorn - not a sign energy that sets things on fire either.  To have
    these two bodies united in the heavens can really "weigh one down" if
    one's own birth chart is sensitive to them in that way.  On the great
    side, this can be a time of finding out - though not through applying
    ordinary, conscious, goal-setting - what one really wants to manifest
    that will satisfy one's highest spiritual urges.  On the downside, if
    one's life is "too busy" to invite this energy in and go with its flow,
    it can make itself felt in lethargy, illness, fatigue and boredom. 
    This is particularly apt to happen during the retrograde phase of the
    triple hit; retrograde planetary energies tend to go "underground" in
    our psyches anyway, rather than seek outward expression.  Those of you
    going out and buying musical instruments, more power to you: Neptune
    rules incohate modes of communication, such as music, dance, painting,
    photography.  Music or other artistic pursuits feel to me like
    excellent ways to invite the energy in (much better than drugs, another
    Neptune-ruled item, being a physical means of altering consciousness).  
    
    Those of you who sense that you're picking up on others' energies:
    you're probably correct.  The conjunction can signify an increased
    receptiveness to the energies of the collective, parcitularly on the
    non-conscious, intuitive (Neptunian) level.  You _need_ the extra sleep 
    and seclusion to clear yourself out; a lot of us whose charts are 
    sensitive in this way feel like houses with all the doors and windows
    open.  So rest and ride with it.  If you feel a sudden urge for a
    particular activity, pursue it; performing it may get you into just the
    right state of mind that your insights and changes in direction will
    surprise you.  This transit is subtle, but profound, and those of us
    experiencing fatigue/boredom/etc -- these may well be messages that
    something within your higher Self is trying to get your attention, so
    lissen up!  It's like a butterfly that can only light upon you if you
    sit still.
    
    The main oppositions going on this year involve Jupiter opposing this 
    pair (Saturn-Neptune) and Uranus.  Jupiter went into Cancer at the
    first of the month; it will oppose Uranus tomorrow (!) (Aug 8), Saturn
    on September 10 and Neptune on October 1.  If Saturn is our great
    consolidating, contracting energy, Jupiter is an expansive opposite. 
    Jupiter transits to another planet tend to enlarge that planetary
    energy's impact in one's consciousness.  He's making _sure_ you realize
    that Saturn and Neptune are trying to tell you something :-).  Just
    before entering Cancer, he crossed 26 Gemini, the degree of the Zodiac
    in opposition to the Galactic Center (which is in his own sign of
    Sagittarius).  This has probably had the effect of practically yanking
    the widsom inherent in the center (at least some esoteric astrologers
    believe so) into many of us.  No wonder we need sleep and are dreaming
    so hard; we're into a heavy processing effort of we don't know yet
    what.  Be patient and let it happen.  Six to eighteen months from now
    you may well be surprised at how your viewpoints have expanded or
    changed.
    
    Often what many feel at first with Jupiter transits is overwhelmed. 
    Too much, too fast.  Part of many people's discomfort this summer seems
    to be that they're "multi-tasked"; part of them, influenced by the
    Jupiterian energy is going at warp speed; the other part, with its
    Saturnine anchor sunk in Neptune's ocean, is in harbor, and the
    sense of splitting can be very disturbing.  My own key (that works for
    me) to handling this spliting syndrome is to start saying "no", to pull
    myself in and refocus.  At first this feels very evil and wrong, as if
    I'm shirking my responsibilities.  But Jupiter rules our sense of
    personal quest, our own Hero's Journey, and if you're dashing to and
    fro, how are you ever going to listen to yourself and hear what your
    journey is?  Perhaps the dashing itself has something to tell you: what
    journey are you on (but perhaps you don't know it)?  What are you
    seeking?  
    
    The third opposition set involves the newly discovered planetoid Chiron
    (orbiting between Saturn and Uranus, not Charon, Pluto's "moon").  The
    more I study this little guy, the more intrigued I am.  Because I
    noticed that his opposition transits to Saturn and Neptune coincided
    with many people's first real onslaught of the drearies.  He opposed
    Uranus on May 18, Saturn on July 12 and Neptune on July 18.  I think it
    intensified the effects of the Saturn-Neptune conjunction for many.
    
    The way I read Chiron is that this energy represents both an essential
    wound that our soul sustained and also the means to heal that wound. 
    This set of oppositions can also make sure you listen to your own
    personal Saturn-Neptune message, that you figure out what's wrong or
    what you want to be right, and begin to address it.  But don't run from
    the symptoms, be with them, court them, search through them until you
    find a meaning.
    
    This need not mean that those of you who feel "my life is going well,
    but I feel so awful" should throw away the life that is going so well. 
    What happens to me is that when life is going well, that is _precisely_
    when my psyche feel safe enough to begin to bring its old wounds
    (Chiron) to my conscious attention and press for their healing.  Is
    that thoughtful or what?  What a nifty survival trait!  It's as if
    this part of Me says to me, "okay, you're not up to your ass in
    alligators anymore, so what about Me?  'Where's the rest of Me?'"
    
    Chirotic energy may also be active in those of you consciously
    experiencing the desire that Cindy expressed: "Now that I've got myself
    together, let me figure out how to extrapolate my healing to the
    planet."  I think this feeling, however subtle, is behind the moods of
    those of us who feel good and uplifted this summer.  Even the ones of
    us who feel we're finally learning to 'just play'.  We are now finding
    subtle or obvious ways to apply our good fortune for the benefit of our
    fellow humans, other beings, the environment, et al.  
    
    Some of us at this stage (like me) went through our own versions of
    hell _last_ year during the Saturn-Uranus conjunction.  Different
    sensitivities to different energies -- I myself am 'cleared' by
    Neptune, terrified by Uranus.
    
    I don't have a Leo birthday like Arthur, but my chart has Leo rising. 
    I've come to think of this time of year (as my Sun, my chart's ruling
    planet, crosses my Ascendent) as a kind of second birthday.  There's an
    old, nearly forgotten, Pagan 'first harverst' holiday around August 1,
    called Lugnasadh or Lammas, and I'm enjoying entering the spirit of
    celebration.  Wild blackberries are fruiting like mad in our backyard,
    and I go crawling about harvesting, getting dirty and scratched; today
    is the actual cross-quarter day, and I plan to get some champagne to
    pour over my berries tonight!
    
    Marcia

    
    re:.29 (Marcia)
    
    Thanks for typing in that very long and (to my thinking) very
    insightful reply.  I can't think of one thing that didn't fit
    how I feel.  I have been consciously making an effort (when I'm
    not feeling too run down) to "get in tune" with my own vision 
    and even more literally with music - which, for me, is really 
    a spiritual quest.
     
    Also, your mention of the effects of Chiron as being an open wound
    is very intrigueing to me.  I've felt for a long time that my own
    search has been like a giant "wounding of the soul" which would 
    only heal itself after I stopped searching books (one question, when
    answered, would open up a dozen more, etc., etc.) and began to 
    listen to myself, figure out where I was and where I was going.
    Of course, I always lose the scent of the trail and begin poring
    over books and notes for "clues," effectively opening the wound 
    again....
    
    
    Guy
    
    P.S. Sorry to hear that you are terrified of Uranus! :-)
    

    	Marcia,
    
    	I, too, found quite a few identifiers in your note.  Without
    	a doubt, this month has been emotionally draining and tiring
    	for me and I've hit periods where I wasn't sure I could cope
    	with much more internally.
    
    	Today's the 16th.  I hope my own energies realize it's time
    	to lighten up (pun definitely intended).
    
    							Carla
    

    Interesting day so far.  Even my teenage son is excited about the
    eclipse.  He intends to stay overnight at the camp where he is a
    counselor so that he can sleep 'under the stars'.
    
    I'm in agreement with Carla and hoping things will 'lighten up' after
    today...
    
    Ro
    

    I wouldn't believe this, if it hadn't happened to me - but I am
    OUT OF MY DOLDRUMS.  It is amazing to think that I could feel so
    down and out for as long as I did, and literally within an hour, 
    I was happy, motivated - positive in every way. 
                                     
    Only thing is . . . it happened on MONDAY at 3:00.  A day and a
    half early, but who's counting?  
    

        I hear you!  I started feeling much better about 2 days after
     the eclipse.  Not only better but some things that I had basically
     given up hope on having happen, are all of a sudden moving forward
     in the very direction that I wanted them to go!!!  It's been
     absolutely fantastic and quite unbelievable for me.  

        I have to say that it feels wonderful!!!

        ;^)

        Vicki