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Conference hydra::dejavu

Title:Psychic Phenomena
Notice:Please read note 1.0-1.* before writing
Moderator:JARETH::PAINTER
Created:Wed Jan 22 1986
Last Modified:Tue May 27 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:2143
Total number of notes:41773

881.0. "Future headlines " by DNEAST::DUCHARME_GEO () Thu Oct 06 1988 10:31

    This is Agar_Agar CENTRAL sending you news via WLUDICRIS the
   newly operational time displacement transmitter.The current
   date is May 10 2078 target reception date Oct.6 1988.

   Current events;

    The Senate voted down funding for the Nightingale project.Senator
   Light looking burnt out stated that the cost was prohibitive.The vote
   prompted out busts of violence at hospitals around the country.The
   Nightingale project was suggested by Welikemoola Insurance as an
   alternative to the expensive medical costs of the terminally ill.The idea
   was to locate a suitable asteroid build a hospital on it then send it on
   a journey at speeds calculated to have it return one hundred year in
   the future.The asteroid would be accelerated by nuclear explosions.

    Dinosaur escapes again. A video town meeting has been called by
   local residences in Palma in response to a third escape by a dinosaur.
   A spokesmen for the Palma Preserve for Genetically Recreated 
   Extinct Species stated that the dinosaur was of a harmless variety
   and had escaped from the petting zoo area.

    Near tragedy was averted today as a public service representative
   noticed a disoriented man pounding on a carat.Apparently he had
   accidentally plugged in a wrong memory cell.He commented that all he
   wanted to do was some plumming and had gone to the library.
   Unfortunately he took out a game cell popular with teenagers called
   who the heck and where am I,by mistake.The library computer commented
   that it was a rare and statistically unpreventable occurrence.
    The only incidence of wrong cells being used by more than one person
   was at Hoho University where pranksters had replaced some of the 
   libraries encyclopedia cells with fake encyclopedia cells with a 
   delayed belly dance program during finals.The three students
   responsible were suspended indefinitely.

    Geological history is rewritten again by the Reflex observatory.
   Scientists lead by Dr. Obvious were stunned last Thursday.
   We had decided to scan the time period where great global weather
   changes appear to have take place.When we ran the data we saw
   what clearly looks like a gigantic female hand grabbing the earth
   and turning it.Response has been mixed in the scientific community
   and some have criticized the reliability of the method and the
   complexity of the technology.Fred Doubtit a critic of the project
   stated that the reflex condenser scans objects at different distances
   from the earth in space and picks up a reflection of what the earth
   looked like at some past time.The weak link in the process is the
   massive amount of processing needed to retrieve the information from
   any reflected signal.He added that it would take less processing to
   make an image of the moon look like a tree.

    Madman Calso heads for parts unknown.Well known all around crazy person
   Madman Calso is heading off into space this Saturday in what he says 
   is an attempt to circumnavigate the universe.Calso is of the belief
   that the universe is round and that by heading in any direction
   that he will eventually return to his point of origin. Calso
   commented that he plans to see the entire life cycle of the universe
   by traveling near the speed of light and stopping periodically.I am
   going to be a strobe light in time,taking a picture every thousand
   years.When asked if he had any fears about the trip,Calso commented
   that he would hate to break down a few thousand years out and be put
   in some kind of zoo.
   
    END OF TRANSMISION

     
    
       
    
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