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Conference hydra::dejavu

Title:Psychic Phenomena
Notice:Please read note 1.0-1.* before writing
Moderator:JARETH::PAINTER
Created:Wed Jan 22 1986
Last Modified:Tue May 27 1997
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:2143
Total number of notes:41773

837.0. "Relationships - Getting Together" by SCOPE::PAINTER (Wonders never cease.) Mon Aug 22 1988 16:18

    Within the last 4 weeks I have heard of at least 5 couples who have
    been through hard times with ex-spouses and ex-SO's, only to turn
    around and find 'the perfect one' after the difficult times had 
    passed.
    
    Last night I received a phone call from a very dear friend, someone
    whom I have not seen nor heard from in over 4 years.  Her name is
    Jean and she lives in central New York where I spent the first 21
    years of my life.  After a few words, she put someone else on the 
    phone and it turned out to be my ex-cousin-in-law!  Charlie and
    Jean had been together since last January and through pure chance, 
    they ended up driving past the house where I grew up, and Jean
    had mentioned that she had gone to school with me (and indeed was
    my closest friend back then).  Needless to say, both of them were
    shocked when they discovered the connection.  They tracked my phone
    number down and gave me a call, and of course I was also a bit shocked
    as well.  What particularly struck me was that I know they are perfect 
    for each other.  Not only that, but I could feel their love and 
    happiness radiating over the phone line.  It was truly wonderful and 
    we were all crying happy tears at the end of the conversation.
    
    Romantic stories with happy new beginnings welcome here.
    
    Cindy
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837.1is this the right place?JULIET::THOMPSON_LII'm Mrs.T, don't mess with meMon Aug 22 1988 17:165
    Cute story!  But does this really belong under Psychic Phenomena?
     Maybe you should start a separate conference on this.  I've got
    a couple cute stories myself I could contribute.
    
    Mrs. T.
837.2Well.....SCOPE::PAINTERWonders never cease.Mon Aug 22 1988 17:5017
    
    Re.-1
    
    It really isn't a _cute_ story.  
    
    I guess I should have added that all three of us have been through 
    our share of pain and hard times, (our own private hell's, if you
    will) and that finally , within the last couple of months, all 
    three of us are beginning to discover the true meaning of Love for 
    the very first time in our lives.  I put this story in because I
    know we are not the only ones to discover this. I also believe 
    that this ties in directly with the changes that have been taking 
    place over the last year+ as well.   I believe it also ties in with 
    the 'soulmates' topic, because if two people were ever soulmates, 
    they are.
    
    Cindy
837.3'Write' on...KENPAT::FLAHERTYJust imagine it.Mon Aug 22 1988 20:0211
    I agree with Cindy.  Her note does belong here.  This past year
    has been amazing in the number of people who are experiencing endings/
    beginnings in their relationships.  Hearing stories like the one
    Cindy related helps us all to piece together what is happening during
    this accelerated period of transition.
    
    Thank you Cindy, I always enjoy the topics you write about.  They
    always seem to be what I 'need' to read at the time.
    
    Ro
    
837.4More that meets the eyeUSAT05::KASPERYou'll see it when you believe it.Mon Aug 22 1988 20:5821
re: .1 (Mrs. T)

    Cindy is right.  Whether it relates to an existing topic or not
    it is appropriate (I think) for this conference.  If you read
    through some of the notes in this conference, you'll find that
    this is more that a place to discuss unusual events.  Many have
    shared very personal parts of their lives with the noters here
    because they feel within this community they will not be judged,
    they will be understood and most of all be cared about at those
    times when they need it most.  

    Calling Cindy's note 'cute' didn't take into account her feelings 
    and the emotions she has experienced and chosen to share.  I'm
    sure you didn't mean anything by it and my reply isn't intended
    to make you feel bad about it.  I, for one, welcome your participation
    in Dejavu and after you've had some time to get to know the noters
    (and you will through the experiences related), you'll see that there
    is more to this conference than words.

    Terry

837.5SHRFAC::ADAMSMTue Aug 23 1988 16:437
    My reaction was also contrary to that of Mrs. T but after seeing
    
   her personal name ( "I'm Mrs. T don't mess with me") I figured she's
    
    entitled to her opinion ;) 
    
    .4 ?? What is "the period of transition"? 
837.6...oops...JULIET::THOMPSON_LII'm Mrs.T, don't mess with meTue Aug 23 1988 16:5416
    .0 , Cindy:
    
    My apologies.  I certainly did not intend to be "not nice" by my response
    (.1). I guess I simply took your entry at face value...a cute story
    of two great people getting together...  Really, no offense was
    intended!
    
    After reading many of the older notes (specifically dealing with
    wierd & strange things..spooks, goblins & such) I guess I just got
    a little carried away and your story just didn't seem to "fit" in
    my mind. I'll wait another day or so (with no "spooks") and read
    it again.  I'm sure I'll see it in the same way as you do then.
    
    Mrs T (who sometimes speaks too soon!)
    
    
837.7FSLENG::JOLLIMOREFor the greatest good... Tue Aug 23 1988 17:3924
.6 Mrs. T

I, for one, agree with your questioning. Although I've been noting here
for a year and 'know' Cindy's notes and the general tone of the confer-
ence, I had the same reaction as you (I had a hard time seeing the fit).
As Terry pointed out in .4, topics vary widely and there are often
'loose' connections to the subject matter. It's fairly accepted here and
that (along with the relatively low number of flames) is what makes this
conference more of a 'community'.

So, with no offense to Cindy (or anyone else), I thought you should know
that at least one other agreed with you. The difference is you spoke up,
I didn't. And, if you read .0 again and you "see it in the same way as"
the rest of the replies, that's fine. If you don't, that's fine too.

As I understand from previous discussions, what you say here doesn't
matter as much as the way you say it. We all have the right to disagree,
so long as it's done with the right intentions and tones. I think .1 was
a legitimate question and wasn't said in a provocative manner (and I
don't think it was taken that way either).

My two cents, in the spirit of 'community'.

Jay
837.8ResponseCLUE::PAINTERWonders never cease.Tue Aug 23 1988 19:2310
    
    Re.6 (MT)
    
    No problem.  All is well.
         
    There are lots of times when I see patterns and most everyone else
    sees nothing.  It's frustrating at times, but I do understand things
    from your perspective as well, and know why you replied as you did.
    
    Cindy
837.9I feel better now..JULIET::THOMPSON_LII'm Mrs.T, don't mess with meTue Aug 23 1988 21:465
    Glad to hear it!
    Thanks all!
    
    Mrs. T
837.10an explanation...ATSE::FLAHERTYJust imagine it.Wed Aug 24 1988 15:099
    RE: 837.5 'period of transition'
    
    I was referring to what has been happening since the 'harmonic
    convergence' and what is expected to continue through the next
    24 years as we 'transition' into the 'new age'.  See note 827 for
    more information.
    
    Ro
    
837.11Getting together may indeed be psycically significantNATASH::BUTCHARTWed Aug 24 1988 15:5584
    The whole realm of relationships, who we relate to and why, how
    the contact began, etc., was THE subject that led me to ponder if
    there was such a thing as karma, destiny, or fate (call it what you
    will).  So it's interesting to examine relationships for that element.
    There are several other notes that reference soulmates and other
    concepts, looking at the relating process as a way of divining some
    principle of ultimate universal laws.
    
    Consider my 14-year marriage.  The events that led to it were the
    major reason I began to seriously consider the validity of the concepts
    mentioned above.
    
    I married my "high school sweetheart".  We met in homeroom on the
    first day of school in the 9th grade (we were both 14); after 9
    years (completing high school and college) we married and moved to
    this area.
    
    Sounds ordinary enough.  But I was born in 1951 Washington D.C.,
    he a bare month and a half later -- in Pago Pago, American Samoa.
    We both lived in families that made major changes of residence from
    time to time:  his dad took the family from American Samoa to
    Trinidad to the Hawaiian Islands: first Maui, then Oahu.  My father
    took us from Washington D.C. to the mountainous regions of West
    Virginia to the Hawaiian Islands -- on Oahu.  Our families
    each moved there in 1965, each father determined to give his children
    better, more cosmopolitan education opportunities, especially his
    eldest child (both my husband and I are the eldest in our families).
    The difference between fathers was that my own father had never
    lived in Hawaii; for my husband's father, coming to Hawaii was
    coming home -- he had been born there.  And my father wilted in
    the unfamiliar climate, caught a rare tropical disease and died.
    My father-in-law is still going strong in his late 60's.
    
    What's all this stuff about fathers?  Well, after I began astrological
    studies and looked at the active transits of our meeting, I was struck
    by the fact that our relationship had its beginnings in the year of
    our mutual 1st Saturn oppositions.  And Saturn in a chart often
    represents the "fatherly" or authoritarian influence.  I also find
    it interesting that our fathers both heartily approved of our
    relationship, even when we were still wet behind the ears (our mothers
    were _much_ more dubious).  Saturn also is said to have a lot to do
    with one's own karmic projects; both my husband and I have Saturn
    in Libra (the sign of relating); is this relationship, for us, one
    of our big karmic projects?  :-)
    
    Our courtship was definitely considered abnormal by our friends.
    After dating rapturously through our Junior and Senior years of high
    school, (which everybody did) Dave went to MIT in Cambridge Mass
    while I stayed in Hawaii going to the University.  Each summer he
    would come home, and no matter what other projects, both relational
    or otherwise, were going, we fell back together as naturally as
    rivers flowing to the ocean (which nobody did).  I never even
    considered it unusual.  And when Dave had attained his 2nd degree,
    we married and moved up here.  There was never any question in our
    minds that if we were going to be together, we would marry.  There
    was never any time when we wrestled with the conscious decision;
    but when we finally came to the decision point, we looked at each
    other and said, "You feel that way?  Yeah, me too." and we never
    looked back.  Those were the days when no one in any circle of friends
    that I had anywhere was getting married (1974); our mothers now
    approved, but our acquaintances sang dirges.  We never even heard
    them.  
    
    I now look back on it and wonder:  What made us so impervious? 
    Where did our sense of conviction come from that we were proceeding
    from?  Why were we so little influenced in our relational decisions
    and beliefs when others seemed so torn (including our own brothers
    and sisters) by the tides of societal ebb and flow?  Where was our
    insecurity?  Insecurity I had _plenty_ of in other areas of life,
    but my marriage -- no twinge of it.  Here is where I experience
    Faith -- the conviction that no matter the struggles and toils,
    everything is unfolding as it should, as it must, for the Greatest
    Good.
    
    And also where I experience Fate?
    
    Marcia
    
    PS.  I have also been blessed with experiences like Cindy's, where
    precious connections between myself and others that I have never
    known existed are revealed to me.  I delight in these experiences;
    for me they are a wonderful part of normal life.  Other people I
    know feel quite differently; when something happens to them that
    reveals interconnections, they get the creeps.
837.12My Relationship(s)CLUE::PAINTERWonders never cease.Wed Aug 24 1988 20:4341
    
    My own experience has been unique in many ways as well.  
    
    This last year or so (since the harmonic convergence) was a 
    turning point for me.  I'm in the process of getting a divorce 
    (mentioned earlier), however having read "Soulmates" by Jess 
    Stearn, I now understand that the last 7 years of marriage to 
    Steve were necessary.  It never occurred to me that I would marry 
    anyone else at the time, and looking back on the whole experience, 
    I can't think of anything I'd change.  We were together to learn 
    lessons, which we learned, and are better for it, and now it is 
    time to part.  Granted, I didn't feel quite so peaceful and 
    understanding about it a few months ago, but the turbulant emotions 
    have passed, and we're both on our ways to new and different lives 
    apart, and it's OK.  The major lesson I learned was that 'Home
    is in your heart'.
    
    Now I feel like I'm stepping off into the deep end.  Every once
    in a while I'm caught up in the need to go back to something familiar
    to feel secure for just a little while.  It is in such times that
    I call an old friend (or even a new friend) and we talk for a while
    about our lives.  I'm not really afraid of what the future will
    bring now.  I feel in control of my own destiny...of course realizing
    that it is all connected ultimately in the end.  Before this, choices
    were made for me.  Now, my choices are being made in conjunction with
    other things that are going on.  I don't feel this need to 'force'
    things to happen now, because the inner peace has brought the ability
    to weather just about any storm or twist in the road and I see life
    far differently now.
    
    I'm looking forward to the future.  Every once in a while I catch
    glimpses of it and I'm encouraged that things will work out...and
    that *I* am part of the reason why things will work out.
    
    As for relationships, I've met so many people along the path within
    the last year that it's more like a sack race now as opposed to
    a tired hike up a steep mountain.  It's a great time we are living
    in.  Who knows, I might even meet up with my 'twin flame' along
    the way!  (;^)
    
    Cindy
837.13all part of an awakening?18031::SULLIVAN_SUZTue Sep 06 1988 13:4227
    Cindy,
    
    I can relate to so much of what you said in .12.  This last year
    (and probably even before but not as profoundly) has been my right
    turn on the road of life.  As I mentioned in an earlier note, I
    have changed jobs (from marketing to manufacturing), moved to another
    State, ended a relationship, and other seemingly small "details."
    The point is, I am in control of my destiny.  I don't need to know
    what exact course I am on.  I have an inner peace that guides me
    to listen to my intuition.  Every single decision has been one that
    I have flowed into, just letting it happen.  A few years ago I would
    never have believed this behavior in me.  I know many other people
    who are behaving similarly.  It's just plain being.  No game plans,
    not greed-driven - all of the behaviors that we were lead to believe
    were correct to succeed.  I think that people are beginning to realize
    the negativity in how we have conducted ourselves to "succeed" and
    we're realizing that the payback is compromising our values (sometimes
    totally submerged) too harmfully to ourselves and to others.  So,
    I think that the harmonic convergence is awakening what the true
    meaning of love is and it's an ongoing process.  
    
    Do others feel that awakening kind of feeling?  It's almost as if
    we're relearning something we already knew?
    
    Suzanne
    
     
837.14Living In The LightCLUE::PAINTERWonders never cease.Fri Sep 09 1988 21:1730
    I read this earlier in the week, and in these changing times this 
    makes a whole lot of sense to me.   Thought it might be appropriate
    here.
    
    Dale, I finally bought the book.  Excellent recommendation!
    
    Cindy

    -------------------------------------------------------------------

    From: "Living In The Light" by Shakti Gawain

    Chapter on Relationships

    "For me, the commitment I make is to myself - to love, honor, obey and 
    cherish my own being.  My commitment in a relationship is truth and 
    honesty.  To anyone I love I promise to do the best I can to tell the 
    truth, to share my feelings, to take responsibility for myself, to 
    honor the connection I feel with that person, and to maintain that 
    connection, no matter how the form may change.

    Real commitment makes no guarantees about a relationship's form; real 
    commitment allows for the fact that the form is constantly changing 
    and that we can trust that process of change.  It opens the door to 
    the true intimacy that is created when people share deeply and 
    honestly with one another.  If two people stay together on this basis, 
    it's because they really want to be together.  They continue to find 
    and intensity of love and learning with each other as they change and 
    grow."
    
837.15SNOC01::MYNOTTSun Oct 09 1988 20:598
    Way to go Cindy,  
    
    Sorry about not being able to read for a while, hopefully, I have
    sorted out the workload and can include notes early in the morning.
    
    Good to be back.
    
    ...dale
837.16Is it warm in Sydney?SCOPE::PAINTERMy dogma got run over by my karma.Mon Oct 10 1988 14:0910
                                
    Hi there, Dale!  Good to have you back.
    
    For you and anyone else who doesn't live in the Massachusetts/Southern
    New Hampshire area...it actually *snowed* here over the weekend.
    It melted upon impact with the ground, but the flakes fell nonetheless.
    
    Dale...send sun.  Or send me a ticket to OZ.  Thank you.  *<(8*)||
    
    Cindy  (off_to_see_a_Wizard)
837.17we wish you a merry christmas...WRO8A::WARDFRGoing HOME--as an AdventurerMon Oct 10 1988 15:019
    re: -.1
     
        Well, for a weather report...we continue with summer-type 
    temperatures (80's-90, or so.)  A little fog, still no rain 
    (nearly 100 days without, at this point.)  So, what does this
    have to do with relationships?  I haven't the foggiest idea...
    
    Frederick