| <<< HYDRA::DISK$USERPACK02:[NOTES$LIBRARY]DAVE_BARRY.NOTE;1 >>>
-< Dave Barry - Noted humorist >-
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Note 503.0 Sweet Dreams 7 replies
LEDDEV::SUTTON "Too loud?? Aww, c'mon!" 83 lines 21-FEB-1989 10:42
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Sweet Dreams
by Dave Barry
[The Boston Globe, February 19, 1989]
[Copyright Knight-Ridder News Service -- without permission]
Today's Science Topic is: What causes dreams? Does everybody dream?
About being nude? In the Sears appliance department?
Answer: Yes. This is extremely normal. It happens to me constantly.
I am so accustomed to falling asleep and finding myself naked as
a jaybird amid Sears appliances that I routinely take my credit
card to bed. "Let me see something in a medium appliance carton
with eye-holes in it," I say, in this dream, to the salesperson,
who does not seem at all surprised to see a nude shopper. Like
most of the people you meet in dreams, he tends to be very casual
about unexpected developments. He knows that at any moment all
his washer-dryer combinations could turn into scorpions or Pittsburgh
or giant singing Yoo-Hoo bottles; or that he himself could suddenly
turn into Bess Meyerson or possibly (if we're in a nightmare) Rev.
Oral Roberts, threatening to die if I don't buy the Extended Service
Warranty on the scorpions
You think this is a stupid dream, right? Well, I bet you don't
exactly sound like Captain Coherent when you tell your friends about
your dreams. I bet you sound like this: "OK, I was in Grand Central
Station, but it wasn't Grand Central Station, you know? It was
more like if Grand Central Station was really a Diary Queen inside
some kind of huge garment bag, but with fig trees. So, anyway,
there was this Israeli soldier, but he was really my father, only
he sounded like Sally Jessy Raphael, except he had antlers, but
he also..."
"Huh!" your friends say, edging from the room. "That's very
interesting!" Meaning of course, "stupid."
The reason we tend to feel this way about other people's dreams is that
we are not trained psychiatric professionals. If we were, we would
realize that, by listening carefully and analytically to a subject's
descriptions of his or her dreams, we could, over the course of time,
make thousands of dollars. This psychiatric phenomenon was discovered
by Dr. Sigmund Freud, sometimes referred to as "the father of Dr. Sigmund
Freud Jr." because of his groundbreaking scientific paper "Die Grounden-
breakinexcuseme-hawkhawkhawkkkkkkkkkkkkspit," in which he revealed that
the human brain, although it appears, if you hold one in your hand,
to be a solid mass of tissue that could be used in a very strong prank
involving a salad bar, is actually divided into many parts, such as
the lobes, which are responsible for getting headaches; and the memory
bank, which performs the incredibly-complex task of managing billions
of interconnected brain cells in such a way that you can instantly recall
the name of the band that did "96 Tears" (Question Mark and the
Mysterians), but have no idea where you put your car keys.
Psychologically, the most important parts of your brain are the "Id",
a small, slime-covered organism that hardly ever gets to leave your
subconscious and consequently thinks about nothing but sex; and the
"Ego" (in women, the "Egress"), which oversees all of your mental activity
until your fourth beer and which, because it is very strict, is sometimes
referred to as "the Rev. Jerry Falwell of the Brain." When you dream,
your Id is actually sending dirty messages to your Ego, which secretly
gets a kick out of them, but then cleans them up for display purposes
by turning everything into symbolism.
Besides helping up to understand that we are perverts, dreams can also
solve our problems. A famous example of this can be found in the following
Encyclopedia Britannica quotation, which I am not making up:
"F. A. Keukle von Stradonitz, struggling to find the structure of the
benzene molecule, dreamed of a snake biting its tail and, on waking,
realized that benzene has the form of a ring."
Besides revealing that F. A. Keukle von Stradonitz was probably a fun
dude, this anecdote provides us with a practical model for using "dream
power" to improve our own lives. The next time you're wrestling with
a knotty problem that you just can't seem to solve, try "sleeping on
it" and chances are in the dead of night you'll sit straight up in bed
and, in a voice loud enough to induce cardiac arrest in your spouse,
shout: "That's _it_! Benzene has the form of a _ring_!" Or, you could
just look it up in the Encyclopedia Britannica.
|
|
[forwards deleted]
From: MILPND::EARRTH::LIVELY "Nan M. Lively, 223-8295 10-Apr-1992 0757" 10-APR-1992 07:59:37.47
To: BRUCE,COBRA::LYTTLE,ASABET::ELECTRICAL,TED,STEVE,KARIN
CC:
Subj: New Tax Form
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f 11 000 4 000 Department of the Treasury - 11 999 999 11
o 111 0 0 44 0 0 Internal Revenue Service 111 9 9 9 9 111
r 1 0 0 44444 0 0 U U SSS 1 9999 9999 1
m 1 0 0 4 0 0 U U SSS Individual Income 1 9 9 1
11111 000 4 000 UUU SSS Tax Return 11111 999 999 11111
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For the year January 1 - December 31, 1992 or whenever you get around to it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
please| FULL NAME | LAST NAME | SECOND TO LAST INITIAL | Starch | []cuffs
print,| | | | []yes []no | []nocuffs
type |-------------------------------------------------------------------------
or use| Present address of addressee (must be filled out by addressor or legal
hyro- | guardian of aforementioned (unless greater than line B above))
glyph-|
ics |-------------------------------------------------------------------------
(no | City, Town, Post Office, Shoe Size | Address greater than line 41? []yes
Latin)| | If yes, why? ________________ []no
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Height | Weight | Sex []yes | Occu- Yours _________ | Social Security Number
| | []no | pation Spouse _________ | Yours _|_|_ Spouse _|_|_
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Do you wish to designate []yes | Isn't | NOTE: if you
Presidential >> $1 of your taxes to this []no | this a | checked yes
Election >>> worthy cause? []maybe | dumb law? | we will come
Campaign >> What about the little lady? []metoo | []yes | and steal all
> The kids, dog, cat, fish? []woof | []no | your hubcaps.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Requested > A. How many talking chickens do you own? | D yes? []no
by >> B. Names _______________________________ | E no? []yes
the >>> C. Do any of them play the oboe? []yes []no | F maybe? []perhaps
Department >>>>----------------------------------------------------------------
of >>> Do you live within 2 miles | Have you rotated | If no file IRS
Agriculture >> of a decent pizza place? | your tires lately? | tire rotation
> []yes []no []extra cheese | []yes []no []flat | Schedule L
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Filing 1 [] Single 2 [] Double 3 [] Triple 4 [] Sacrifice Fly | for IRS use
Status 5 [] Married Filing Singly Joint return | O | | X
(even if spouse is married separately) | ---|---|---
6 [] Joint married singly separate spouse | | X |
(but filing double jointed) | ---|---|---
7 [] Head of Household filing separate but joint return | X | O | O
(if unmarried but jointly single) |-------------
8 [] Head of joint filing single file spouses separately
9 [] Widow(er) with separate dependent filing out of joint return singly
10 [] Deceased filing posthumous return
(attach notarized Death Schedule D, signed by deceased)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Exem- 41 a regular? | Enter number of
ptions b [] yourself [] 65 or over [] blind [] dead | boxes checked > ___
[] spouse [] 65 or over [] blind [] dead |
c Names of Dependent children who lived with | Check number of
You you __________________ Why? _______________ | boxes entered > ___
are d Just first names dummy. |
here 4 Do you weigh more than last year's tax form? | Enter number of
| e Number of parakeets subtracted from Gross | checkered boxes ___
| Rotated Income (plus line 27 - unless greater |
\|/ than twelve miles) | Do nothing
v f How many inches in a liter? _____ | Here > ___
* 11 a Total Confusion
(add lines 6e and f,g; fold in eggs, beat until firm) --------> ---
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Income 12 Wages, Salaries, Tips, Extortion. (attach W2 forms to |##| | |
your forehead with heavy duty staplegun) . . . . . . . . |12|_____|_|
13 Remunerations (if less than gross reimbursements then |##| | |
Please file schedule Q (see page 14 of "Joy of Cooking")) . . . |13|_____|_|
attach 14 Gross influx (see 40% of instructions) . . . . . . . . . |14|_____|_|
payment 15 Money you made (if $400 or less, more or less, list |##| | |
(small schedule B without not filling in Part II and R2, but |##| | |
unmarked more than line 8). . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |15|_____|_|
bills) 16 What about all that cash you stashed in that jar under |##| | |
here. the garage? (see page 7 of instructions) . . . . . . . . |16|_____|_|
| ---------------------------------------------------------------------
|___ 17 Add lines 12 through 16, multiply by 2, |##| | |
this is your total income. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |17|_____|_|
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Taxes 18 Enter Grossly adjusted net average income (line 17). . . |18|_____|_|
19 Enter Total deductions (if greater than 0, enter 0). . . |19|_____|_|
20 Subtract line 19 from line 18. Taxable income. . . . . . |20|_____|_|
21 Figure Total Taxes using line 20 . . . . . . . . . . . . |##| | |
[] Tax Table [] Tax Rate Schedule X, Y, or Z [] Guessed. |21|_____|_|
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Payment 23 Federal income tax withheld . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |23|_____|_|
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Amount 25 If line 23 is larger that 21, you made a mistake, |##| | |
You re-figure your taxes. |##| | |
Owe 26 Subtract line 23 from line 21. . . . . . . . . . . . . . |26|_____|_|
27 Add the shirt off your back. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |27|_____|_|
28 Send it in . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . |28|_____|_|
29 Pick a number between 1 and 10 . . . . . . . . . . . . . |29|_____|_|
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Please > Under penalty of death, I declare that every figure on this return and
Sign >> accompanying schedules is correct to within 100% plus or minus some.
Here > Signature ___________________________ date ___________ check here []
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
[forwards deleted]
Notice: This poem is copyright 1992 by Harvey Ehrlich. It is free to
distribute, without changes, as long as this notice remains intact. All
follow-ups, requests, comments, questions, distribution rights, etc should
be made to mduhan@husc.harvard.edu . Happy Holidays!
'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...
How to live in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to "Elves",
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.
And labor conditions at the north pole
Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.
Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.
And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!
The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.
And people had started to call for the cops
When they heard sled noises on their roof-tops.
Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened."
And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows,
Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose
And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation,
Demanding millions in over-due compensation.
So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,
Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life,
Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,
Demanding from now on her title was Ms.
And as for the gifts, why, he'd ne'er had a notion
That making a choice could cause so much commotion.
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,
Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.
Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
Nothing to aim. Nothing to shoot.
Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls. Or just for the boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
Nothing that's warlike or non-pacific.
No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.
And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.
For they raised the hackles of those psychological
Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.
No baseball, no football...someone could get hurt;
Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe;
And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.
So Santa just stood there, disheveled, perplexed;
He just could not figure out what to do next.
He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
But you've got to be careful with that word today.
His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.
Something special was needed, a gift that he might
Give to all without angering the left or the right.
A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,
Each group of people, every religion;
Every ethnicity, every hue,
Everyone, everywhere...even you.
So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...
"May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on earth."
(c)Harvey Ehrlich, 1992
|
| This wafted in off the Internet:
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Joy Williams / dhummer@netcom.com
Scion in the Church of All Worlds
The Kook Report
---------------
How weird are you?
Many occultists, pagans, new-agers, geeks, physicists and little old
men like to claim that they are weird, at least when faced with
blantantly normal company. But how true is it? After all, there's
a lot more to being weird than just knowing some funky stuff.
To see if you actually capture the unhinged feeling of tentative
lunacy that makes up geniune weirdness, just go through the
following quiz question by question, keeping score.
The more points you get, the stranger you are.
If you don't understand any of the questions, then you can assume
that you scored a 0 for that question.
The genuinely weird may like to email me their scores, although
this is not an action that will gain you any bonus points. If this
is so in your case, I undertake not to react *too* offensively to
such an email, perhaps.
---------
In the following quiz, select the lettered answer a) - f) that most
closely corresponds with your actual feelings/attitude/life. You
may occasionally be asked to make a choice in advance - do so before
reading the answers for maximum effect. Each answer will score from
0 to 5 points, with a) being 0, f) being 5, and b) - e) being 1 - 4
points respectively. This is very intuitively obvious, if you are
able to think about it. You know. c) is 3, yeah? Yeah. You got it.
Trust me.
1. MAKE A CHOICE - Select a number between 1 and 100 NOW!
You chose:
a) 2-4, 6, 9-16, 19-22, 24-41, 43-56 or 58-99
b) 1, 7, 69 or 100
c) 42
d) 23, 5, 17 or 18
e) 8
f) 57
2. I'm going to say "The Illuminatus! Trilogy" to you.
a) What is the Illuminatus! Trilogy?
b) Oh, that old Yarn by Wilson, right?
c) I read the Illuminatus once. It was funny.
d) I've read the Illuminatus many, many times. It contains the
secrets of the universe, if you look hard enough.
e) I own a printed & bound copy of the Principia!
f) I sign my name with the letters KNS after it.
3. You're walking down the street, dressed in your favourite
clothes.
a) Businessmen look upon you as an equal
b) No-one pays much attention. Trendy young people snigger slightly.
c) Little children look slightly nervous at you.
d) Builders and labourers cross the road to avoid passing you.
e) A concerned citizen 'phones the police, who send in a SWAT team
to take you out. Ha! It does no better than the last three.
f) No-one pays much attention, until they try to seduce you. When
they see your underwear, those who survive run away very, very
fast, and do not talk to anyone about sex ever again. You *do*
try to to sit down too much, though.
4. What do you think of Cthulhu?
a) Ummm... its a random string of unintelligble letters?
b) Monster from Lovecraft's horror fiction.
c) Tentacled monster that sleeps imprisoned in a sunked island
in the south pacific, waiting to rise again.
d) A fascinating magickal egregore, very useful for dream-based
rituals to Unknown Kaddath.
e) Hng! Hng! Ia! Ia Cthulhu f'thagn! f-f-f-father! YOG SOTHOTH!!
f) [Secretive smile] Who? Didn't you come in here to buy a book,
sonny, not to ask an old man silly questions?
5. How do you derive your regular income?
a) I work in an office. Why?
b) I get a grant.
c) I'm on welfare hand-outs.
d) I deal drugs in Times Square.
e) My father, who died some years ago, left me an inheritance that
produces a modest monthly stipend. It isn't fantastic, but it's
more than enough to keep my work going without 'dipping into the
capital'.
f) Money comes to me as and when I need it. The means varies from
day to day - yesterday, I found N$3000 (Three Thousand Nigerian
Dollars) hidden inside a cat.
6. Bob?
a) Jim?
b) Oh yeah, what do you call a disabled guy in a swimming pool, haha.
c) Haha! Slack! The Anti-Bob! Kill me! Frop! Hahaha!
d) ... Ha! Watch me go! I'm the cosmic neutron gun! Throw my switch
and watch _me_ blast you into space, baby! I ate the earth
for breakfast, but it tasted crap so I spewed it back up again!
Nothing can come close to me, because _I_COME_CLOSE_TO_IT_!! I...
e) That'll be $5, please.
f) No.
7. MAKE A CHOICE! Select a number between 1 and 10 NOW!
You chose:
a) 1, 5, 7, 8, 10.
b) 3
c) 2
d) 9
e) 6
f) 4
8. Where, to your mind, do 'Strange Phenomena' start being _strange_?
a) Anything that science can't explain easily.
b) Telepathy. That really weirds me.
c) A Rain of Live Frogs.
d) Crop Circles appearing in concrete.
e) Large demons appearing on live TV and ripping up a politician.
f) From the womb onwards, dude.
9. What is Magick?
a) David Copperfield. (But you spelt it wrong - no 'k', dumb-head)
b) Strange people in silly clothes doing pointless things to
chickens.
c) Frazer's Law of Sympathy and Law of Contagion.
d) The art of causing change in conformity with will.
e) All life is Magick.
f) Laughter.
10. Do you possess any psychic powers?
a) Aw, frag off smeghead.
b) No, but I wish I did.
c) Well, I am very intuitive and in touch with my feminine nature.
d) I know who's on the phone before I answer it.
e) Yes, I often get visions which later come true. Bookies hate
me.
f) Yeehaw! I've nearly got the full set! All I need now is
Full-contact Psychometry! Say.. you wouldn't swap me for
2 Telepathys and a Clairvoyance, would you? I could throw in
a Green Fingers, too...
11. Do you play any Role-Playing Games?
a) Dungeons and Dragons leads to Satanism and suicide. I'm *way* too
smart for that.
b) Oh boy, yes! I only stop playing CarWars to go to the toilet
once a week!
c) Yeah, sure, I've played some role-playing games. They're an
interesting exercise.
d) I read White Wolf(tm) Rulebooks, but I don't actually play.
e) I write role-playing games professionally, as a matter of fact.
f) Play??? Look bud, all my best magick was learnt from RPGs!
Don't believe me? Watch, then as I fireball your cat!
***WHOOOOOSSSSSSHH*** **WHUMP** *MEEeeoooww......*
HAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!
12. A typical thing that your parents would say to you is:
a) "Hello, dear, it's your mother. When are you bringing the kids
round to see us again? I hope you're eating properly... I've
been so tired recently."
b) "TURN THAT BLOODY NOISE DOWN!"
c) "Mph. Snrph. Wassup? Uh? Its 2am, forgodsake!"
d) told to you only by mediums, 'cos they're no longer alive.
e) "Its who??"
f) Nzrgnbit Zipplikaddah Cherbis Gazrag Earth Minnip Koodah Soon.
Mwahahah!
13. Do you see auras?
a) What are they?
b) No.
c) I tried once or twice, but no luck.
d) After 30 minutes naked, alone in a dark room...
e) Yes.
f) That depends. I had a real mean aura in here once, it chewed up
half the place, and I had to replace the sofa too. How much is
it offering? Is it house-trained?
14. If you are going to program a computer, what language do you
use?
a) Oh, I don't program computers. I use Microsoft.
b) BASIC
c) Pascal
d) Object-extended C++, with the help of some home-defined libraries.
e) I program in binary, actually.
f) COBOL
15. Let us suppose that you have a long-lost great-aunt, who dies and
leaves you something in her will. What would it be?
a) Ten million dollars.
b) A nice house, say $30-40K, some furniture.
c) A cat.
d) A crumbling old gothic mansion, miles from anywhere, served by a
single elderly retainer, just as crumbly. As you drive through the
obligatory little village to take possession, all the locals stare
at you with a mixture of fear, hope and pity, but all you can
think of is the wonderful party you're going to have there at the
next full moon with all your Sorority sisters from the Campus.
e) A mysterious old envelope, containing three sheets that look
suspiciously like an ancient map...
f) A peculiar brass casket, sealed with wax and covered with odd
heiroglyphs and symbols. Despite repeated urgings, you put it
in the attic, unopened, and never touch it again. The matter is
never mentioned again, save for a strange new addition to your will
that your lawyer receives a short time later.
16. What did you last eat?
a) A nice pork chop, with some boiled potato and cabbage.
b) Lentil stew with wok-fried beansprouts and a glass of holistic
carrot extract.
c) A portion of chips.
d) A pizza that was delivered to your door by a jumpy delivery guy.
e) Some wafers made of a mixture of your own blood, your dog's
sexual fluids, burnt parchment and oatmeal bran.
f) Somalia.
17. What work of Alistair Crowley's did you find most illuminating?
a) Who?
b) Oh, well, actually, I never read any of his stuff yet, but I will
real soon.
c) Magick in Theory and in Practice
d) Diary of a Drug Fiend
e) The Book of The Law
f) The Book of Lies
18. What is your normal sexual position?
a) Ohh. Uhh. Um. My. Um. The missionary, I suppose.
b) On top.
c) In train toilets.
d) In the middle.
e) Spread on the altar with a candle up my a**
f) Hanging by our feet from a street lamp, with our ears welded
together and a pair of moroccan Baboons for light relief.
19. Do you have any pets?
a) Yes, a dog.
b) No.
c) Yes, a cat.
d) Yes, six japanese fighting fish, carefully segregated.
e) Weellll, sort of - I breed rabbits, goats and black cockerels.
I do try not to get too attached to them, though.
f) Oh yes, *giggle*, yes indeed. He'd like to see my pets, Igor!
Come, come, let me show you. Its much _easier_ that way.
20. Which of the following phrases do you use most often?
a) "Isn't the weather dreadful!"
b) "No, thanks."
c) "A beer, Charlie. Make it a cold one."
d) "Oh, I'm sorry. Was that _your_ child? Please, have her back.
Good day! I beg your...? #@&% you too, Madam."
e) "Ateh! Malkuth! Ve Gevurah! Ve Gedulah! Le Olahm!!"
f) "Please come back, little person! I only playing! Ha! Caught
you! Oh. You leaking, person! Wake up! Why you all go sleep?
No fun! You people so boring!"
Now, add up your scores...
How did you do?
0 : Mmm. You're normal. You're so straight, you even think in
lines. In fact, anyone this normal would have never bothered
reading this post, so if you're reading this, you're either
curious, stupid, or very, very silly. This level of person is
dullsville.
1-20 : Well, you've heard the call of the strange out there,
roaming the plains of life. You haven't answered, but at least
you didn't assume it was indigestion. This level of score
indicates a person who is probably more normal, to be fair, than
someone who got 0. If you only got 1 or 2, be *very* careful -
its all downhill from here!
21-40 : You're fairly odd. Your normal friends describe you as
weird, and you take it as a compliment. You probably wear black,
so as to make a point and slightly worry the people who still
remember World War I. You are likely to be interested in strange
things, but you never seem to manage to get to grips with them.
41-60 : Definitely a bit on the wild side. You are probably
a student of paranormal matters. People who get to know you
are often surprised that you aren't as straight as they first
thought. Your last girl/boyfriend was scared for 3 weeks after
splitting with you, _just_in_case_. You intimidate petty
authority figures, such as interviewers, bus conductors and
moral rights campaigners.
61-80 : You are undoubtedly odd. You worry your family, and
you no longer have any normal friends. When you go on holiday,
you chose places like Transylvania, the Sonora desert, McMurdo
Sound and the Amazonian rain-forest. You mutter and mumble to
yourself in times of stress, and you try not to open your wardrobe
too often, in case something comes through...
81-95 : You, my friend, are either several bats short of a belfry,
or a dedicated, trained occultist. If there is a difference. Plants
wither in your presence, children run away yelping, dogs run away
yelping, even chickens run away yelping, for god's sake. You live in
a different world from the rest of the planet, and you like it there.
Definitely, unashamedly weird.
96-100 : You are so bizarre that I'm surprised you managed to read
this quiz, let alone complete it. Talking to you is rather like
trying to carry a basket of live turkeys up the side of the Empire
States Building in a gale - very hard, extremely dangerous, full
of 'gobble-gobble-gobble' noises, and covered in feathers. The last
time you stopped long enough to observe the rest of humanity,
someone slapped a parking fine on you. You wouldn't know a tax
return unless it came up to you and introduced itself to you by
clan. Most of them do.
<0 or >100 : You are being silly. This post has ended. Give it up.
Go get a life, for god's sake!
tim@midnight.demon.co.uk
--
"A magician walked along the shore, searching for her personal rock."
tim@midnight.demon.co.uk || Laugh or Die || Don't ask me, man, I didn't do it!
--
Joy Williams / dhummer@netcom.com
Scion in the Church of All Worlds
|