| Speaking as one who also finds astrology significant and meaningful,
here are some comments. Season to taste with as many grains of
salt as are palatable.
It is difficult to say offhand, without a good, close look at both
people's charts, what the real areas of ease and difficulty are
between them. Aspect relationship of Sun, Moon and Ascendent are
important, but don't tell the whole story. Relationships (and the
people who enter them!) are far more complex than that.
In answer to the question about which relationship is most problematic,
it would appear to be the two Moons. Leo and Scorpio are signs
that naturally square each other, although the exact degree of the
relationship is based on the degree and minute each Moon occupies,
not just the name of the sign. Having squared Moons has indeed
gotten bad press in the relationship books I read. However, speaking
as one living (happily) in such a relationship, let me offer that
non-compatible-looking Moon placements may simply mean that you
don't automatically give and receive nurturance in the same ways.
This means that going on automatic pilot, where you assume that
you know what the other person needs because it's what you need,
doesn't work. The solution is to increase conscious awareness of
each person's needs, acknowledge them honestly, and consciously
seek ways to fulfill them. This takes considerable courage for
many people, especially if they have been trained that they are
never supposed to have needs. By not giving either of you an "easy
way out" in having your needs satisfied you can grow tremendously,
both in self-knowledge and compassion.
It is also not possible to tell whether this influence is inherent
or a passing one without a study of the transits to both charts.
Your comment suggests it is possibly temporary. Speaking from a
completely mundane perspective, anyone who has undergone a deep
loss and is grieving does not always appear very lovable. When
I recall the person I turned into after my father's death, I don't
wonder that people avoided me and didn't offer any comfort. To say
I was "less than socially adept" is putting it mildly indeed.
The name for a relationship chart is the Composite Chart. It is
erected by finding the midpoint between each person's sets of like
planets. For example, the Composite Sun is the midpoint between
the two person's Sun placements. The chart can be progressed and/or
relocated by recalculating it using the two people's progressed
or relocated charts. Transits to the chart (the relationship itself)
can be read directly from it.
A final thought on retrograde Mercury. Mercury only goes retrograde
for about 3 weeks at a time. So if the mind-set you speak of has
been going on for "months", Mercury is not the chief instigator.
Possible a Uranus transit is (see Note 313) and now is being compounded
by the retrograde Mercury. But even though retrograde Mercuries
have a terrible reputation, I have noticed (again, personal experience)
that what they really seem to promote is another pattern of thinking--
a reflective, meditative, evaluative state of mind, rather than an
action-oriented one. This can be wonderful for all meditative
disciplines (if you practice one), evaluating previous actions and
decisions, and communicating on a deeper level with the people in
your life who are part of your daily routine. It can be a nice
change of pace if one goes with that flow.
For what it's worth,
Marcia
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The chart you are asking for is the Composite chart, or "Midpoints
in Space" chart between two. There is also Synastry, which let us
look at the planet inter-aspects (your moon to his moon, etc) and
your planets in his houses and viceversa (tells in what areas
you affect and see each other), and there is also the Relationship
Chart ("midpoints in time" chart between two).
After some cases I have come across (even my own) I can in general
terms say that: Synastry is better suited for short-term analysis
of a relationship; For example, one can readily see the attraction
between two people by synastric techniques, what could happen after
this first attraction is basically unknown with Synastry. Of course,
there are inter-aspects (classic) that are known to attract with
enough power, even the most discordant signs (150 deg apart). Jung
found that the man's Sun in aspect to the woman's moon was in a
high percentage of succesful marriages. On the other hand, the
composite chart focuses only on one chart (that is a product of
two), and tend to describe better the energy present in the
relationship itself, or in other words, how the relationship works
out. On the Composite chart the relationship is seen as a single
entity, vs, in Synastry you are cross-comparing two individual charts.
A Composite, very often explains why a Scorpio and a Leo can happily
live together (with sort of adjustment), while a Libra and Gemini
can't. (The former ex. is my own case). I had for 5 years, this
beautiful Cancerian that I thought would make for my life, but discover
that we couldn't live together, simply too much -water- in the rel.
There are a few points to keep in mind when analyzing this subject:
The Sun and Mars in a woman indicate the "man" image she's after,
vs. the Moon and Venus in a man indicate the "woman image" he's
after. I've got both my moon and venus conjunct in Sagitarius,
so I was looking for fire, and I got it. The 7th house cusp, planets
in that house, and its ruler position, also says a lot about what
you are looking for in a long-term relationship. Example, a sister
in law has got Sag. on the 7th cusp and Mars on the house: She
*almost* married an Army officer abroad. What happened?? Well,
she's got Neptune and Saturn in the 5th house (romance) badly aspecting
her 11th House Sun, and to complicate things further, her Saturn
return was due at the time (natal sun opp saturn, 5th H involved). Also,
her love affairs never cristalize (Neptune in the 5th, badly aspected)
One could also take a look at what's in the 8th House, and see what
are the basic sexual requirements.
The Relationship chart is erected at the precise midpoint in time,
and at a midpoint geocentric longitude and latitude. This is the
preferred chart to progress and to compare with transiting planets.
The Composite and the REL charts have the Sun's sign and degree
in common. Still, a number of other charts can be done, such as
a marriage chart, as it was done for Di and Charles, etc.
Would need more data to answer your question on which two don't
mesh. You may be 1 deg Libra, he may be 29 deg Gemini, thus an
almost perfect (dissasociate) square; By the same token, your moon
may be 1 deg Leo and his 29 deg Scorpio, making a (dissasociate)
Trine. So that would require some calculations.
While studying actual cases, I've always found that major transits
to the individual chart(s) are always present when there are problems.
During these past weeks I've come across two more cases, where Uranus has
been very disruptive, and Saturn is giving the final end to the
relationships. Of the outer planetary transits none is more disruptive
and shaky to one's relationship as an Uranus contact to the Sun,
Moon or Venus (or ruler of the 7th), and no test is harder on that
as Saturn contacting those. The fact is that Uranus and Saturn
are both in Sagitarius (the later following behind the former),
and we will hear of relationship problems now, specially from the
mutable axes (Gemini,Sagitarius,Virgo, and Pisces). Most often
the Moon seem more susceptible to these transits, followed by Venus
and Sun.
If you really want to keep your rel., the good news is that it will
only last (the transits) for about one year more, then the shake
and test will follow for the Cardinals (Capricorn, Cancer, Aries
and Libra) You are not alone with Saturn and Uranus out there,
I myself (@19.47 Sagitarius Moon) am going through the same strugles.
I have to say, Saturn have strenghten my marriage rel, have ended
others (that started with the shaky and unprincipled Uranus), but
has certainly tested me on my carrer (10th H)
Good night!, and good luck(sag after all, right?)
-Roberto
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