Conference 7.286::sports_90

    I was at a high school football game last week and the cheerleaders
    broke into a "First and ten, first and ten, do it again" type cheer.
    The thing that struck me as funny was the fact that the other team had
    the ball. No joke. 

>    This is for discusion of cheerleaders.
    
    The skimpier the outfits the better.  BTW, it will surprise y'all but I
    think the Cowboy Cheerleaders are overrated.  The best looking
    cheerleaders are the Raider girls (what are they called ?).  But then
    again they probably all had plastic surgery.
    
    John "D Cowboys" R.

    This past summer in Minnesoulta there was a flap about the Golden
    Gophers dance line, about how it was demeaning and objectifying and
    subordinating and sexist and genderist and all them big words them
    strap-on dildo politicos like to use.  The University's Board of 
    Regents even heard the issue, and barely mustered enough guts to let
    the dance line remain in place.  
    
    Funny thing, here ya are in a world where North Carolina's cheerleaders
    do a straight ahead bump n' grind like your favorite topless club
    artist will do, and up here in the land of Andrea Dworkin (she's the 
    big fat gal in the overalls with the hairy mole who was interviewed
    by Dan Rather on her anti-porn amendment) a lineup of girls wearing
    skirts and sweaters was nearly illegalized!  
    
    Btw, the dance line also includes men, but this don't make the
    feminists happy probly cuz they don't wear skirts.
    
    Now, if you know the Golden Goofers loser history, one wonders whether
    ANYbody'd even bother to show up if the dance line went away.  This is
    a state where the majority of people are of scandinavian descent, and
    that dance line was a_invaluable state resource that help perk things
    up at halftime with Nebraska up 38-0.
    
    Big10 Tom

    
    We don't need no steenking cheerleaders.  They oughtta keep 'em
    off the (professional anyway) sidelines and courts.  If they insist
    on parading gorgeous babes around, let 'em come up and join the
    boys in the stands where they can do a helluva lot better morale-wise.
    They'd be a lot warmer, too.
    
    Hey, I got a job to do, too, and I'm just a little bit jealous that
    DEC doesn't provide *me* with a cheerleader to get the job done
    better.
                "Go, Dickster! We got looks!
                 We'll shake our tails, you balance the books!"
    
                 "Hold that (bottom) line!"
    
                 "Go! Go! Where? Where?
                  We need a credit over there!"
    
    Dickster
    

I'd settle for a few software groupies....

    The Broncos use to have cheerleaders too.  They busted some of them
    for rolling undercover cops dressed as bums outside the stadium.
    They were disbanded after that.
    If I would have known what they were up to, I would have dressed
    up like a wino and layed around after the games too. 
    
    BoB

    Re: .4
    
    Dickster!
    
    Where's the debit????  Can't go around making them one-sided entries!
    
    8^) x 1,000

    Haa.  Them Broncoettes were some real classy gals, weren't they?
    
    When I REALLY need a good laught, though, I like to check out the
    Dallas Cowgirls, who with all the bleach and make up and girdles look 
    like they been working they been working the midnight-to-dawn shift
    at Bernie's Truck Stop on I-35 norh of DFW.
    
    And then, how's about those Jets cheerleaders?  Whoops.  They ain't
    gone none.  Reason being it wouldn't work to have a bunch a gals 
    all gussied up in bullet proof flak jackets, motorcycle helmets, and
    welder's chaps.
    
    MrT 

    
    The best looking cheerleaders...
    
    
    
    The University of Southern California
    
    
    Their secret?
    
    
    Wear sweaters that are about 3 sizes too small...
    
    
    Peace/ed

    
    >    Where's the debit????  Can't go around making them one-sided entries!

    We platoon a lot in this department.  That's not my job.
    

Dickster...

Do you have to wear a tie to work?

'Saw

    
    Nope.  But I just happen to have one on today that goes with my
    jeans and sneakers.
    

    From the female of the species......
    
    There have been times when I've preferred watching the cheerleaders and
    sideline hoopla over the game - it's what makes being there worthwhile
    versus watching on the tube in comfort.  Generally, I prefer a co-ed
    squad over an all-female one, but all cheerleaders seem to be a few
    floors shy of the top, regardless of sex.
    
    In college, the very first set of Purdue Silver Twins lived in the dorm
    room next to mine.  (Purdue recruits the baton-twirling talent for the
    marching band and half-time show........Believe It, Or Not.)  Really,
    truly identical twins.  They practiced in the hallway and in the
    stairwell.
    
    Sexism is alive and rampant in Medway, MA.  For the first time ever,
    the cheerleading squad has a boy on it.  I know the young man in
    question and have discussed it with him.  It is his considered opinion
    that he should not have passed the tryout, as he didn't have the
    necessary gymnastics skills.  However, apparently the faculty adviser
    was concerned that there was sufficient lawsuit potential that he was
    accepted anyway :-(.
    
    A&W

    
    Ooohh...I've always had this fantasy about baton-twirling twins.
    
    Dickster
    

Musta kinda been like my fantasy about the entire flag squad....

'Saw

 The North Carolina State cheerleaders at basketball games are out this world!
 female species that is. Good looking and what a show they put on...

 and the cheerleading squad for the Cosmic Misfits is one heck of an allstar
 group. Just ask Jeff Riggen who had the pleasure of partying with them this
 past monday nite... ;^)

 mike

    
    Did anybody see the CU cheerleader during the CU-Stanford game?
    They put the camera on her.  She suddenly realized she was on
    camera and went to start a cheer by flinging her arm out to
    the side.................BAP!!!!  She nailed the girl standing
    next to her right in the shnoz.  I was dyin!
    
    Claybone

    The one and only one thing that I've always liked about the Tar Heels
    are the cheerleader babes.   The baby blue outfits are off the scale.
    
    The Laker Girls are enough to go to jail for.
    
    And ask JD what he thinks of the Philadelphia Eagles cheerleaders.
    
    Bob Hunt

    re:  baton twirlers, flag carriers.......
    
    Pipe dreamers, both of ya.....
    

    
    Kilgore Rangerettes
    Tyler Apachebelles
    1978 Dallas Cowgirls

>   She suddenly realized she was on
>    camera and went to start a cheer by flinging her arm out to
>    the side.................BAP!!!!  She nailed the girl standing
>    next to her right in the shnoz.  
    
    Must have gone to the "Duke School of High Fives and Cheerleading." 
    Remember Laetner getting it in the eye in the NCAA Championship?
    
    I want to go on record as saying: Ohio University has the very worst
    cheerleaders in the world.
    
    Man they were bad.  At basketball games, they would do this thing where
    the guy would hold up the girl and she'd do some pose in the air. 
    Trouble is, they'd do this on the sidelines during a game obscuring the
    vision of the first 10-15 rows.
    
    But the real gem happened when I was a sophomore.  We were watching the
    OU football team get beat up by (pick a school) as we did every week. 
    There was this one male cheerleader that lived in my dorm and in my
    encounters with him, he seemed quite stupid.  He was one of those kids
    who was a football player in high school, but wasn't good enough for
    the college game (even OU's) so he got involved with cheerleading
    because at least he could be close to the sport.
    
    Well, they were doing this thing where the guy throws the girl in the
    air and then the guy catches her.  It's his and his partners turn
    and he sends her up in the air about 15-20 feet.  Just then, OU does
    something good and the crowd roars.  Well, the rarity of this occasion
    is enough to turn everyone's head...including Dopey's.  He turns around
    to watch the play and forgets to catch the girl. 
    
    SPLAT.  Right on the track.  The ambulance came and took her away.  She
    ended up with brocken ribs and a concusion.  We never saw Dopey in a
    cheerleaders uniform again.
    
    	--dan'l
    

    I kinda like the cheerleaders in "Porky's", 'specially their coach, the
    one who howled like a wolf.....  :-)
    
    Hawk

    I never knew they had enough good-looking girls in Ohio to make a
    cheerleading squad.
    
    Many :):),
    
    John "D Cowboys" R.

>   <<< Note 355.9 by CURIE::CHUANG "What's so Funny 'Bout Peace, Love & U" >>>
>                         -< USC--Under Sized Clothing >-
    
    I thought USC = University of Spoiled Children!

    re: .23
    
    I knew several of the cheerleaders at Ohio U and not a one of them was
    from Ohio.  Three of the girls I knew were from Pennsylvania, one was
    from WV, and the other was from Kentucky.
    
    Here's an oldy but a goody:
    
    Why doesn't [insert rival school] have cheerleaders?
    
    
    
    Because the Athletic Department is afraid they would graze at halftime.
    
    
    Later.
    	--dan'l

    I just want to know what you gotta do to get the job of the guy's you
    see on the tube at every college game with his hand up the
    cheerleader's dress holding her up above his head??????????
    Is this guy actually dead and in heaven or is he the "best man" on the
    squad, if'n ya know what I mean???
    
    
    JaKe
    

    re FSOA::JRODOPOULOS .2
    
    I could'nt agree more as I attended a Raiders-Colts game at the
    LA coliseum and those cheerleaders were super looking,even though
    the game stunk the cheerleaders sure kept the crowd goin.
    
    
    Tom
    
    
    

    My friend D.A. was a C.U. cheerleader a couple of years ago. He was one
    of the guys who got to put his hand up the girl's skirt. He said he
    "died and went to heaven". 

    
    His hand was "set hidden" for sure, as this note may well be.
    
    Dickster
    

         <<< HYDRA::DISK$USERPACK02:[NOTES$LIBRARY]DAVE_BARRY.NOTE;1 >>>
                       -<  Dave Barry - Noted humorist  >-
================================================================================
Note 266.0                 Football: Hiss! Boom! Bah!                 17 replies
TLE::JANUS                                           90 lines   2-OCT-1986 10:03
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                 Football: Hiss! Boom! Bah!

                      by Dave Barry


It's football season again, and I know I speak for everybody in North
America when I make the following statement: rah. Because, to me, football
is more than just a game. It is a potential opportunity to see a live
person lying on the ground with a bone sticking out of his leg, while the
fans, to show their appreciation, perform "the wave". 

And football breeds character. They are constantly scrubbing the locker
rooms because of all the character that breeds in there. This results in
men of the caliber of famed Notre Dame player George Gipp, played by
Ronald Reagan, who, in a famous anecdote, looked up from his deathbed and
told Pat O'Brien, played by Knute Rockne, that if things ever really got
bad for the Fighting Irish, he (O'Brien) should tell "the boys" to win one
for the Gipper. Which O'Brien did, and the boys said: "What for? He's
dead." Ha ha! This is just one reason I am so excited about the upcoming
season.

Before I unveil my Pigskin Preview, however, I must say a few serious
words here about a problem that, regrettably, has reached epidemic
proportions in the world of sports in recent years. You know the problem
I'm talking about, sports fans. I'm talking about male cheerleaders. I
don't know where you grew up, but where I grew up, there were certain
things a guy absolutely did not do, and cheerleading is about six of them.
A guy who led cheers where I grew up would have been driven around for a
couple of hours inside somebody's engine compartment. Most likely Steve
Stromack's.

So you may call me insecure if you wish, but I am deeply troubled when I
see young men on TV bouncing up and down on their tiptoes and clapping
like sea lions, and the fact that they get to hug the female cheerleaders
and sometimes pick them up by their personal regions is not, in my view,
an adequate excuse. I am calling on you sports fans to write letters to
U.S. Attorney General Edwin Meese urging him to appoint a federal
commission to issue a concerned and bulky report about this issue, so that
we sportswriters can put it behind us once and for all and get back to
writing stories about what should be the topic of interest on the sports
pages: drugs. 

Drug testing is very big in football this year. This is because football
players are Role Models for young people. All you young people out there
want to grow up and have enormous necks and get knee operations as often
as haircuts. That's why the people in charge of football don't want you to
associate their sport in any way with drugs. They want you to associate it
with alcohol. During televised games, you'll see announcements wherein
famous athletes urge you not to take drugs alternating with announcements
wherein famous ex-athletes urge you to drink beer. Good luck, young
people! 

Now let's take a look at what kind of action we can expect to see this
season on the actual "gridiron" per se. As in previous years, football
will be divided into two major sectors, "college" and "professional," the
difference being that professional players receive money, whereas college
players also receive complimentary automobiles, although many teams will
be hard-hit by strict new academic regulations specifying that a player
cannot compete unless he can read most of the numbers on his gearshift
knob. Nevertheless, I look for an action-packed college season in which
major teams featuring linemen named Dwight who have the size and
vocabulary skills of cement trucks trash a series of amateur schools by
scores ranging as high as 175-0, which will earn them the right to play
in such New Year's Day classics as the Rose Bowl, the Orange Bowl, the
Liquid You Drain Out of a Can of Artichoke Hearts Bowl, etc., although
unfortunately not against each other.

In professional football, I look for a very exciting and competitive
season until about a third of the way through the first game, when
Injuries will become a Factor. These injuries will of course all be caused
by artificial turf, which is easily the most dangerous substance in the
universe. If we really wanted to protect Europe, we would simply cover the
border regions with artificial turf, and the Russions would all be
writhing on the ground clutching their knees within seconds after they
invaded. And then the Europeans could perform "the wave."

Here are some other predictions: I look for the TV networks to provide
helpful expert analysis by ex-players who utilize technological wizardry
such as the "electronic chalkboard" to make simple running plays seem like
brain surgery. I look for 19,000 third-down situations, all of them
Crucial. In any group of five players, I look for four of them to be
Probably the Most Underrated in the League. I look for Second Effort, Good
Hang Time and a Quick Release. I look for yet another Classic Super Bowl
Matchup like the one we had last year between the Chicago Bears and
another team whose name escapes me at the moment.

I look for a video rental store that's open all weekend. 


(Copied from the Washington Post, 9/28/86, without permission)
    

     There is definitely a need for more cheerleaders in the pro ranks!

                   ( you can read that anyway you want )

   Either the Dolphins or Tampa Bay used to have some excellent
   cheerleaders. Very.. uh..  agile. Just wore swimsuits. Good planning,
   what?

   Pro teams without cheerleaders should no longer be allowed to compete.

   All those stupid shots of the team in a huddle should be dedicated to
   admiring the stellar athletic ability of the cheerleaders. 

   ( I love it when they do cartwheels! Cheerleaders who refuse to
   cartwheel should be made to stand on their heads until their faces turn
   red. ) 

   When touchdowns are scored, the player scoring the touchdown should
   give the ball to a cheerleader. 

   Or several cheerleaders. Maybe they could fight over it or
   something.... anyway... that's beside the point. 

   The point is, the cheerleaders could do the celebration. Maybe they
   could do a cartwheel or something. Much better than the Icky Shuffle,
   or a boring spike.

   So.... Whenever there's nothing happening that actually involves a
   football...  or a fight... or perhaps a fan mooning the cameras... 
   then we should get to see cheerleaders.

   Lots of cheerleaders.

   Each team should have at least 50 ( but a 100 is better ).

   I like it when they build pyramids, too. ( but I don't like pom-poms.
   They sorta get in the way.)

   Actually  ( and I'm being totally honest here ), I even like it when
   they just stand in one spot, and sorta jump up and down. 

   Mike JN

    Some of the football mags run photo specials on the NFL cheerleaders. 
    The Raiderettes are in their a LOT!  I've seen some of the Raiderettes
    in the health & fitness mags as well.  Brooke Moore is probably one of
    the more popular Raiderettes and one of my favorites.
    
    Mike

    I LIKE RAIDERETTES TOO!!!  I USE TO BUY A BOX OF THEM AT THE MATINAY,
    BUT THEY GET TOO EXPENSIVE AND SOMETIMES I HAD TO BUY TWIDDLERS
    OR JUST POPCORN, BUT RAIDERETTES WERE MY FAVORITE, NEVER LIKED GOOBERS
    BUT AUNT BEA DID, THE RAIDERETTES WERE NON-PARIELLED IN FLAVOR AND
    TASTE, THEY WERE CHEWEY AND STUFF.   
    
    HOPE TAT HELPED

    
    A few years ago, Playboy did a spread on NFL cheerleaders.  The
    Raiderettes were definitely the best of the lot, while the New England
    Pasties had some real barkers.
    
    I believe some of them were canned for not upholding the upstanding
    image of the team.  HAHAHAH! The Raiders?  Upstanding image?  HAHAHA!!
    
    Dickster
    

    Dickster, send me mail.  Put that Playboy in it.  :-)
    
    Mike JN, your line about having cheerleaders fight over the football
    struck a mental image in me.....  How about a huge tub of jello or mud
    just past the end zone!  And matbe we can label these fightin' ladies
    the Gorgeous Ladies Of Football, GLOF!  :-)
    
    Hawk

RE: .34

	I bet after seeing that issue of Playboy, many fans of the
cheerleaders were "upstanding". :-)

Mac

    re: Porky's
    The cheerleader coach howled like a dog... that's why they called her
    Lassie.
    
    Did the Patsies get some cheerleaders this year?  I went to a Bills
    game last year and checked out the Jills.  Normallly 1 per group of
    4 would have been worth writing home about.  Must be those cold 
    winters.
    
    Funniest thing I rememeber was at school the NCAA final four hockey
    tournament.  Watching the RPI cheerleaders almost in tears when in
    between periods, they found out Minnesota-Duluth's cheerleaders 
    skated and did formations on the ice...  Mascot and all...
    
    -Walt

    The Patriots will probably never have cheerleaders again, because of
    what happened originally.  One of them got injured doing a routine at a
    game.  After the team gave him/her the standard medical coverage, s/he
    (yes, we used to have male cheerleaders) sued the team anyway.  The
    team then decided to drop the squad.
    
    Not only do the UM-Duluth cheerleaders skate and do routines on the
    ice, but the hockey cheerleaders from North Dakota, Minnesota and
    Wisconsin do so also.  Those schools, plus Michigan State, also have
    skating mascots.
    
    John

    	That's to bad John, because Chap and I would have primo seats
    if the cheerleaders came back.  8^(
    
    				/Don

    Unless I missed it in one of the other responses, nobody's mentioned
    two of the all-time greatest cheerleading squads -- from the movies:
    
    The original "MASH" and "The Longest Yard"
    
    /Ed

    I'm surprised that nobody mentioned the now-famous cheerleader from
    Coronado High School here in Colorado Springs.  Being about 5-9 and
    165 lbs made "her" stand out. (Also, having a face like Jed Clampet's
    "Grannie" didn't help either.)  The school got suspicious after a few
    days and found out that "she" was a 26 year old man.  He had pulled
    this stunt before, too.  He was so good a cheerleader that the now
    defunct semi-pro football team had "her" as their HEAD cheerleader!
    (One of the more manly players had mentioned that "she" had nice
    legs.  I'll bet that he now denies ever making that statement.)
    
    I wonder if any of the football jocks ever took "her" out.  Back in
    my highschool days alot of the never_had_gots would show up at school
    the next Monday and tell about how great/terrible his date was.  I
    can imagine the ribbing someone would get for taking this "gal" out
    and bragging how good/bad it was and then find out he had taken out
    a 26 year old man!!
    
    Cowboy
    

    ref -.1
    
    That same cheerleader was in court yesterday.  He/she denies he/she
    ever heard of whoever he/she was impersonating when he was a she.
    Now he claims that he/she is Donald Trump's neice.  You always
    thought the Globe and National Inquirer made this stuff up.
    
    BoB