Conference 7.286::sports_90

    
    Croquet players are REAL men ! (and women !)
    
    You can't get a more physical, fast paced game than that !
    
    JMO of course ;-)
    
    Wayne.

    I believe Bruce's favourite sport is pancake tossing...and when
    he don't have any pancakes he just tosses!!!
    
    - Dave K.

    I cain't think of any sports that I'd consider "sissy".  If a sissy
    sports is one where there is a minimum of physical injury and/or
    contact then you would have to say golf and bowling would be at
    the top of the list.  While some of the people playing these sports
    could be classified as "sissy types" there are others that are not,
    so, that shouldn't be just cause to label these sports "sissy".
    
    I really don't see a need to classify sports as "sissy" or "macho"
    or whatever.
    
    Cowboy    

Manly Sports:

		Butterfly Hunting
		Tiddly-winks
		Yo-Yo Tricks
		Full Contact Scrabble

Sissy Sports:

		Australian Rules Football
		Hurling
		Rugby
		Football
		Boxing


Everyone knows they are sissy sports because it's just a bunch of
sweaty men who want to rub their sweaty bodies all over each other.

So there ;^)

'Saw		

    How 'bout Human Horeshoes?  Now that is manly.   It's the pin that
    makes it different :)
    mp
    it must be FRIDAY!!!

    Hey Debil Dog,
    
    	Since when have you stayed on topic in any note?  U ARE
    	TWO BLAM PAL!  YU CISSY YU!
    
    Claybone

    Full contact Scrabble ?
    
    Sounds frightening. What sort of protection do players get ?
    Can you wear Finger pads ?
    
    Awed,
    Wayne

Men's figure skating... Dick Button, Brian Boitano, Scott Hamilton...'nuf said 
Curling...  any sport that requires the use of a broom must be for wimps
High Jumping... sports greatest ego Dwight Stones leads a pack of guys who
		blame every missed jump on some trivial factor

    Manly:
    
        'backy spittin' contests
        f@rt football
    
    Girlymon:
        Baksketbrawl
    
    
    
    JaKe
    

    There's probably more sissy crybaby-types in pro basketball than
    any other sport.
    
    Hope This Helps
    
    Cowboy

    Yo ClayBonehaid (tm), 
    
    I never accused myself of staying on topic. 
    
    
    I jus figgered the sissies needed a topic,

    
    Hurling
    
    I saw that a couple of times. Those guys are totally freakin' nuts!

    Soccer.
    
    Mark.

    Lufey beating. 

    Soccer.
    
    Mark.

    Lufey beating

    Case in point, when I was in Colorado Springs, chewing Red Man and
    downing boiler makers with Claywad, Hoot and Jeff Riggen, Debil
    Dawg and his pee-smooching soccer compatriots were wimpering in
    in the non-manly section of the Dublin house drinking pina coladas
    and other umbrella drinks (tm). 
    
    While we were discussing manly things like deer huntin', tractor
    pulls and Combat reruns, Jesse and his harem were poring over the
    latest issue of Family Circle and discussing how Phil Donahue manages
    to stay so fit.
    
    So, there you have it....soccer is for wusses.
    
    Mark.

    Yeh right Lufey, you is on halogens (tm). Who was it dat was drinking
    cokes? Sure as hell wasn't me. You is too BLAM!! You was talking about
    how you only pretend to hunt and you is really looking for sheep to
    shack up wif. Lufey, being such a manly-man was drinking Shirley
    temples and eating quiche. He had to bring his own quiche cuz the Dub
    wouldn't  make him any. i got it on hidden video.
    
    
    someone schlep Lufey

    
    Re:  .7
    
    Full contact scrabble:  When your wife slams you over the haid with
    Webster's unabridged when you prove that PLYXMUT is a real word,
    and you counter with a jab to solar plexis with your letter rack.
    
    Dickster
    

    I'll back up LeFave on this one.....except on what Jesse was
    drinking....it was virgin pina coladas!  The little weiners
    were exchanging soccer player cards over in the corner whilst
    Mark was filling Hoot and I in on the proper way to transport
    big game carcases(sp?).  It was embarassing to see a Marine
    reserve act in such a way..........
    
    Claybone

    Yeh, I had to leave the table when Claybonehaid (tm) asked Lufey to go
    for a ride in his truck. Den day was plannin to go a-hunt'in, Clay was
    gonna show him where to get the best sheep. Clay ordered a Grape
    knee-hi wif a_extra umbrella and a cherry on top. How that waitress got
    up there I'll never know. Oh well, I got it on hidden camera. The owner
    told me not to bring Lufey in there again. He was caught wiping boogers 
    under the table. 

    
    .19 and .22 are the honost to Gawd's truth.

    The only thing *knee-hi* in that bar wuz you DD!
    
    Claybone  :^)

    I vote for curling. I have never seen a more worthless game in my life.
    
    
    Mr Mike
    
    

Okay here is how the night at the Dublin really went. Hoot and Lufuy were 
checking each other out when I walked in. 
We started drinking brew and talking typical LDUC when Lufay said he is 
gonna call CLAYWAD. Well Mark played this trick on ol' Clay sayin something 
about winning some BUCK's on a radio contest. We kept on drinkin all the while
my wife was home waiting with her folks from Ca. Clay couldn't make it outa the 
house till his wife unchained him. 
Then the doors bust open and in comes DD leading his pack of Soccer players 
to a table nearby. I'll admit the team looked pretty weak but Jesse came
over and told us the story about the guy with a Military Cock. My wife and 
her family is still waiting. 
Then around 10:30 Clay walks in his wife finally went to sleep and he snuck
out.  The conversation drains quickly into shootin this and that and how to 
keep the scent off. 
Around 12:00 I said time to go. I got home and there was my wife and her folks
still waiting for the cops to call about her dead hubby she was pretty upset
cause she wanted to kill me herself. 

    Soccer is a sissy, wimp sport.  End of story.
    
    BOSS

           <<< OURGNG::SYS$SYSDEVICE:[NOTES$LIBRARY]SPORTS.NOTE;1 >>>
                 -< OURGNG::SPORTS - Digital's daily tabloid >-
================================================================================
Note 261.0             SISSY SPORTS/MACHO SPORTS--PART II                1 reply
FREMNT::REED "OklaSt--#29 NCAA Wrestling Championshi" 5 lines   8-JUN-1990 16:41
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    But SSOB (Sissy Sports Only Bruce) you didn't announce
    which sports you watch/play?!?
    
    
    Cowboy
================================================================================
Note 261.1             SISSY SPORTS/MACHO SPORTS--PART II                 1 of 1
FREMNT::REED "OklaSt--#29 NCAA Wrestling Championsh" 14 lines   8-JUN-1990 17:00
                             -< sissy/macho facts >-
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    To continue, after SSOB rudely set a no/write and apparently admitted
    no contest to the fact that soccer is NOT a sissy sport.
    
    truisms:
    * a sissy can play any sport (maybe a Montana? Hey, he good but he's
    	still a sissy-type)
    * no true sport is a sissy sport--if it appears to be a sissy sport then
    	it is a non-sport (Not all sports have to threaten your health)
    * a macho-type can play football, rugby, soccer, hockey, etc and still
    	be a sissy-type (don't get caught alone with this kind)
    
    Cowboy
    
    
    

    
    I think we invented a new one on Cottonwood Pass yesterday. 
    
    I'll call it "Wiffle Squirrel".
    
    Equipment required: One (1) Wiffle bat
                        One (1) dead squirrel
                        Six (6) live humans (or whatever is available)
    
    It's played just like wiffle baseball/homerun derby except instead off
    the wiffle ball you whack the squirrel. Doesn't go very far, though.
    
                                                   HOOT
    

    
    I guess you wimpy soccer players have to resort to cheating in your
    vain attempts to one-up me.  Imagine write-locking a note.  I bet
    you guys are all technoweenies too.  Wimp soccer technoweenies.  A 
    scary combination.  Even Joe Bob Briggs would stay away from a movie
    with that title.
    
    
    Bruce

    
    For all of you wimps waiting to hear what I play, here it is:
    
    
    It's a game called soccer fan baiting.  I'm very successful at it,
    but it's nothing to brag about, as it is a relatively easy game
    to play.  Just takes a single sentence like "Soccer players are
    wimps," and the game sort of takes off on its own.  Like I said,
    it is very easy to win, like shooting fish in a barrel.
                    
    8^)             
                    
    BOSS            
    
    
 

bruce,

 SOme us know better than that. I know you play volleyball. The sport where 
NO physical contact occurs and the particpents spend more time giving each other
high fives and pats on the butt then actually playing the game.

 Yet another example of a game where you have to be the mating result of nuclear
power plant worker and an escape from the island of Dr Moreau in order to reach
world class status. A sport where your hair cut is the primary method of getting
 attention. A sport where a player named Karch is allowed to excell.

:-)


     metz

Speaking of haircuts, I was toying wif the idea of
getting mine cropped REALLY short, and having "DEC" shaved
into the back of my head.

I mean, it would really set the tone up at DECworld, doncha think?


Chainsaw(the toofless, beardless, shorthaired, MountainMan)

    
    Hawk, you mean like: "Bond.  James Bond."?
    
    Dickster
    

    A U.S. player gets ejected for pushing someone from behind.  Sounds to
    me like the BOSS was right.

    For the real men: Subbuteo (que?). This is football played with little
    carboard cutout men mounted on hemispherical plastic bases and standing
    about 1 1/2" high. The 'pitch' is some 3' long. It's tremendously
    exciting. with one or more human players per side, taking it in turns
    to flick around the little men with their forefinger and trying to get
    the tiny plastic ball into the net. The World Championships, televised
    live in the UK, were won by Greece. The whole event was tremendously
    exciting and full of incidents. Injuries to nails and finger tips are
    frequent and a physiotherapist is in permanent attendance.
    
    A game for Bruce.
    
    Swiss Rock Throwing: For true wimps. Involves hurling a 22 kg rock as
    far as possible. Looks like basic training for US football.
    
    Hornus: Another invention by the imaginative Swiss, a sort of giant's
    golf with opposing sides. Played on mountain sides. One lot whacks the
    ball and the other tries to prevent it going far by knocking it down
    with what look like outsize demonstrators' placards. Amazing skill
    level. A rogue ball will decimate the opposition.
    
    
    Cricket: Once described by British humourist Gerard Hoffnung as 'you
    know, that game where everbody sits in deck chairs watching men in
    white coats standing in a field. Then somebody says "Oh, well played,
    sir" and it starts to rain, so we all go in for a drink.'
    
    Peter

re MIke JN --

	Yeah, I know Kelly will be disappointed, but I got tired
	of all the police grabbing me, saying "We thought we already
	got you, sucker", and then proceeding to nail me to a cross.
	Lemme tell ya, that wreaks havoc with your ability to play
	the piano.....


re manly games:


	Actually, I really love to watch Scottish Highland games.
	The various events that take place are amazing.  Some of the
	guys who compete are some of the biggeset men I've ever seen.
	
	There's this one dude from Pennsylvania who makes the rounds
	up this way.  He holds a lot of the records for the events up
	here.  Unbelievable.  The guy is HUGE -- makes the Ultimate
	Warrior or Hulk Hogan look wimpy.

	Personally, I'd love to learn how to toss the caber.  That's
	always fascinated me....

	I mean, what an afternoon -- toss the caber, eat some haggis,
	drink some whisky, and make love to a beautiful woman...what
	more could a man ask for ;^)



re the Carding for the Push in Sundays USA game:

	Some refs that I've talked to since, have stated that if
	a linesman tells them of a foul committed by a player, they
	will almost always automatically card the player, since they
	assume the player was purposely committing the foul behind their
	back.  I don't agree with this, but even if I did, it should be
	a yellow, not a red......


Chainsaw

    Re: 260.43
    
    Greece did not even qualify for that event.  The English went in
    under an assumed name.  Greece did win the European Basketball
    Championship, but where were the English ?

    Sinkronized swimming!!  Oh wait, thats not a mans sport, is it?
    
       Table football is a real mans sport.  Why just the other day, a
    friend of mine got popped in the eye with that triangle paper.  He had
    to go on IR and ended up missing the playoffs.
    
    		Tim

I saw a guys throat layed wide open, with blood spurting from
his carotid artery one time.  He'd been hit by a rogue tiddly-wink.

The paramedics save the guys life, because they got there really 
quick.  We'd been applying direct pressure, but time is of the
essence in a situation like that.

You shoulda seen that tiddly-wink take off.  Once second it was
on the table, nexted second the guy snaps it, and wango, it flew
through the air, skimmed the other guy's neck, and laid him open
just as if I'd done it myself with an exacto knife.

The police tried to arrest the tiddly-winker for attempted murder,
but cooler haids prevailed.


Chainsaw

    'Saw
    
    Direct pressure, huh??
    
    we had the same kind of occurence here but lost the poor soul 'cause
    we used a tourniquet(sp?), but it worked when it came to stopping the
    bleeding.
    
    JaKe
    

Jake --

Reminds me of the very first First Aid course I ever took.

We had one guy in the class, who on the final test, when attempting
to bandage a victim's head, wrapped liberal amounts of gauze around
the victim's throat to secure the aforementioned bandage.

I was seriously rollward at that, and worked very hard to keep
my composure.

the only time you should EVER put a tourniquet around someone's
neck is if they're snakebit on the neck, fer sure ;^)

'Saw

    
     >>the only time you should EVER put a tourniquet around someone's
     >>neck is if they're snakebit on the neck, fer sure ;^)
    
    
    'Saw
    
    Gotta disagree with ya there.
    I've found that it works well for cutting down the decibel level
    of a nagging wife!!!!!!!!!!!!
    
    JaKe
    

   AHH yesssss, my little farfugnoggin (in my W.C. Fields voice) We used
   to play Tiddly-Winks with Shuriken, mazola oil, buckets of beer, and
   pheasant pheathers... very exciting... many people were killlled.
   yesssss.

   Mike JN

    Hey, guys, let's clean it up, please.   The previous two replies have
    crossed the boundaries of good taste, in my humble opinion.
    
    Bob Hunt

    I've hidden the previous 2 notes until disccusion with the other
    moderators.  If anyone has a problem with this, send me mail.

Ok guys, over the top....point taken.

Sorry BIG MAC. 

I cannot see a little flatulence being offensive to anybody in this note. 

Now I understand how Clay and his buddies always bag the big game. In some 
countries that type of hunting is illegal. 

Jeff

    Well, I deleted my entry.  I thought it was rather tame compared
    to many notes I've seen in here before............
    
    Actually Jeff, that's how we keep bears away from camp..:^)
    
    Claybone

>>I cannot see a little flatulence being offensive to anybody in this note. 

It's not open to discussion.

    Re: Wimpy spoats-
    
        Hoas bak ridin'
        socca - I hates da way dey be holdin' dair hands all limp as
                dey run.  Evva notice dat?
    
        cricket- anything nameded afta a insek dat da Devil Dog cain eat,
                 has gotta be cornsidered wimpy.
    
    Re: Manly spoat-
    
        Dair is a Coloraida legundairy spoat calleded Snoors n'
        Drewers... Das when you guzzell five quarts o' Coors follied
        up by a glass o' Schnapps, pik yo flayva, after each an
        evray quart.  Den,..you s*7t you drewers.  It's dat simpa.
    
        
        And Football ofcourse.
    
        Ducky
    
    

    Naughteeee, Dave
    
    
    Peter