Conference 7.286::humor

923.0. "Just a statue...." by OTOOA::maverick.kao.dec.com::peters (keep your woods off the greens...) Thu Jan 30 1997 16:10

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her
husband opening the front door.  "Hurry!" she said, "stand
in the corner." She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and
then she dusted him with talcum powder.  "Don't move until
I tell you to," she whispered.  "Just pretend you're a statue."

"What's this, honey?" the husband inquired as he entered
the room.

"Oh, it's just a statue," she replied nonchalantly.  "The Smiths
bought one for their bedroom.  I liked it so much, I got one for
us too." No more was said about the statue, not even later
that night when they went to sleep.

Around two in the morning the husband got out of bed, went
to the kitchen and returned a while later with a sandwich and
a glass of milk.

"Here," he said to the 'statue', "eat something.  I stood like an
idiot at the Smiths' for three days and nobody offered me as
much as a glass of water."

    One day God is walking through Central Park.   He approaches a statue
    of Adam and Eve.  God thinks to himself, "Uhmm, I was pretty rough on
    these two way back then.  Perhaps I should free them up and let them
    have at it for an hour."  With that, Adam and Eve are free.  
    
    God says  "You have one hour to have fun."
    
    Adam and Eve rush off to some near by bushes.  God sits on a nearby
    bench and waits.  The bushes are rustling, Adam and Eve a giggling.
    20 minutes later they come out of the bushes and walk over towards God.
    
    God says "You still have 40 minutes left.  Whats your rush?"
    
    Adam says to Eve "OK, Let's go do it again."  
    
    Eve says to Adam "OK, but this time you hold the damn pigeon and I get
    to sh*t on him!"  
    

    Somedays your the pidgeon, and somedays your the statue.