Conference misery::feline_v1

    
    I'm not really a cat expert but I think it would be hard to
    say that a kitten would be accepted as opposed to an older
    cat.  From what I've seen of kitty encounters is that they're
    similar to people in that they are either compatable or not.
    After all, you're asking them to live with a stranger that may
    or may not have the same like, dislikes, schedules and personality.
    In many instances I've seen, older cats tend to be more annoyed
    by kittens because they're so playful.  
    
    I understand how hard it is to see 2 cats going at each other
    but I don't think 2 days was nearly long enough of a chance for
    them to get used to each other.  I hear it sometimes takes months
    before they are really friends.
    
    Donna 
    
    (thank God T.C. and Rocco worked it out in 3 days!)
    

    Well, it's been my experience that bringing in a kitten
    does seem to work better.  Kittens are less threatening
    to an older cat - it also seems to bring out the parental
    instincts in either a male or female.  Over the last year
    I have added 6 or 7 to the family - December of '86 I
    added Yurii who was 5 or 6 months old and since then
    I have added 7 more - of the 7 the oldest was 7 months.
    If they are much older than 6 or 7 months, it seems to
    cause Kitty War III - if they are 2 - 6 months, it seems
    to work out ok.  The kittens just say to the older guys,
    "well, here I am - come on and give me a bath - you can
    be my mom or dad - I don't mind!"
    
    There have been lots of folks that have combined 2 older
    cats or more and have had very good luck - guess it depends
    on your cat and how he reacts.  Only you will know that.
    
    E.T.

    Once Maggie became the only _cat_ [there were still three dogs],
    she never would allow another _cat_ in the house.  [She was so bad
    my husband almost brought home a dog in search of a home whose advert
    contained "HATES!!! CATS!!!" saying, 'he and Maggie would have a
    lot in common']
    
    Milo, the _kitten_, made her damn mad, but she never tried to harm
    him.  She was and is not at all maternal toward him.  Now that she's
    given up hope of burying him in the snow, she likes to tease him
    and play power games and often just romp around and play with him.
    But I don't think she actually _likes_ him yet.
    
    On the other hand, there are kitten killers out there. Rare. But
    sometimes another cat is better, too.

The BEST thing that ever happened to Tabby (14 years old siamese) was getting
Sam and Nick approx 8 years ago, and then Hannah last fall.  It has kept her
young to chase down these kids and keep them in line...yes, there are some
hassles, but it is EXTREMELY RARE for the older cat to harm any newcomer.
They just lean hard enough to control the pecking order....and will end up
as buddies in time.  I highly recommend injecting a young upstart into the
mix occasionally...keeps em on their toes! 

    RE .1
    I agree about cats being compatible or not and that it's similar
    to people.  I have 3 cats and Barney and Gonezo were introduced
    to my mom's cat Sam (who just turned 16) when they were about 8
    weeks old.  I got Ben 6 months later and don't remember exactly
    when he and Sam were introduced.  Anyway, Sam and Gonezo ignore
    each other (usually Gonezo is in hiding), Ben and Sam get along
    fine, and Barney HATES Sam and is always trying to attack him.
    This hasn't always been the case - it started within the last year
    or so.  My mom has informed me that when I come to visit that I 
    CAN'T bring my babies along.  Maybe now that my cats are 6 and Barney
    is about 7 lbs bigger than Sam, he's more of a threat and is trying
    to dominate and overthrow the "king". 
    
    Mary
    
    

     I am in that situation now.. I brought home a "baby sister" about
    2weeks ago. Happy is 6 and Pookie is 12.Currently they working out
    turf issues.(and mom is trying not to interfere.. :*)...).Happy
    is
    adjusting just fine,, Pookie is a "bit miffed"and punishing me
    for bringing home this invader.. Pookie calls Happy.. ole chubbo..
    tee-hee.Auntie Elaine has been giving me guidance and I have been
    following her advice.. right Elaine?..They have been pretty good
    as awhole.. Elaine keeps telling me things could be worse...it has
    been just hissing and growling.. I think they will settle in,
    eventually..and in the mean time.. I have been adding an extra
    amount of "hair rinse in my shampoo nightly to hide my new areas
    of gray hair.. :*).....ah!! yes.. I AM A NERVOUS KITTY MUMMY!!!
    Regards
    Kate  Pookie and Happy's Mom

    It does depend on the cat.
    
    I tried introducing Jennie (female 5 years) to Tarot (male 1 year)
    and Isis (female 1 year).
    
    Jennie was used to being an only cat and was being evicted because
    she had failed to get on with a newly introduced kitten.  Her owners
    had tried for a couple of months and then got rid of Jennie.
    
    Tarot (who is a softie) promptly rolled over on his back and invited
    Jennie to play.  This is typical of him, mealtimes are always enlivened
    by yet another of Tarot's friends whom he has brought home to share
    his food.  I think this is unusual in a male cat, he seems to have
    no territorial instinct whatsoever.  I've given up and now feed
    his friends with a good grace.  Jennie hissed at him.
    
    Isis on the other hand hissed at Jennie, marginally earlier than
    Jennie hissed at her.  Much howling and growling about what they
    were going to do to each other when they got hold of each other
    as Philip and I carried them into seperate rooms.
    
    This went on for a week.  Local cat shelter when consulted said
    that females were more difficult to persuade into accepting each
    other, but that they should settle down once they had sorted out
    the pecking order - this could take about 2-4 months.
    
    I accepted defeat, Isis was threatening to leave home and to keep
    them both in for 4 months would be to keep them in all summer -
    not fair on us or the cats.
    
    Jennie has a new home now, where there are no other cats and she
    is very happy.  As I said - it depends on the cat but females are
    generally held to be more difficult.

         It's been just about 8 months for Loki, Fluffy and Bigfoot
    and they still aren't getting along perfectly.  Bigfoot and Loki
    pretty much ignore each other; Fluffy and Bigfoot fight, but they
    are "brothers" and are used to each other.  Fluffy loves to ter-
    rorize Loki ...
      
         Just last month, Loki decided that enough was enough with the
    "invaders" and is now coming out into the living room, kitchen,
    etc. instead of hiding in his room.  He's also starting to tolerate
    the others in his room, though not completely yet.  And ... believe
    it or not the timid one is starting to fight back at Fluffy the
    Terrorist.  I figure a few more months until everything settles
    down.
    
         While this may be an extreme case (Loki was here first and
    was always timid, Fluffy and Bigfoot arrived together and had been
    together for two years {at least there was no double-teaming - yet!}),
    it may take a lot of time, patience and "try to ignore them while
    they're fighting unless they're really hurting each other - they'll
    work it out".  I might suggest a pair of earmuffs and a silver bullet
    to bite on ( ;-) )!
    

However long it takes, I feel the cats having company and someone to
play with is worth it...It keeps their brains active and their bodies
healthier.

I also feel that when the cats are approx. the same size, the "isolating
one cat from the other" behavior by the owners ONLY PROLONGS THE AGONY
FOR ALL by giving the "invaded upon" cat the feeling that the new cat
will eventually go away if there is enough of a fuss...after all, every
time he/she throws a tantrum the "invader" does disappear for awhile!!

We don't close the newcomer in a room nor force separation...we provide
a separate feeding place and kitty litter box in a spare bedroom and
then stay around alot for 2 days and let the cats work it out.  I always
bring in newcomers on a Friday night.  I don't allow really nasty stuff to
occur - if they seem to really be getting into it, I spray both cats
with COLD water in the spray bottle...I give every cat some attention,
while making sure the resident cat still has the lap in the evening or
whatever is the norm.  I've never had any problems that lasted more than
8 weeks - although Hannah and Tabby still argue occasionally and always
will.  I don't expect my cats to live in perfect harmony...after all, I
don't know any people who do that!  Even Nick and Sam have their moments
of disagreement and "pecking order" resolution and they are brothers!

I think cats, in particular, are sensitive to the owner's mood and
attitude.  If you make adding the new cat a big deal you can bet your
cat will do the same!

    I'm in the same situation, or I should say Pepper and Touey are.
    Pepper is a large, grey, half persian female going on 14.  Touey
    is a young (I estimate 1+ year) male coon/mixed tiger breed (?)
    with no qualms about going right up to people and animals alike.
    Pepper was the last of our old cats (we'd lost 3 in the past 5-6 
    years) and was finally enjoying her Queen Cat status, only to have
    this little guy move in.  Well, it may take awhile for her to work
    the jealousy and resentment out of her system (she finally stopped
    her constant hissing and now has it down to 3 hisses a day....),
    but at least it will make her boring old life more interesting.
    
    Maureen (who always over-extends Noter's Etiquette by writing never-
             ending paragraphs....)