Conference misery::feline_v1

    Olivers death has effected your mother VERY deeply.
    She may need to talk to a professional to help her
    work out her feelings, and to be able to accept his
    death and go on with her life.  
    I'm not sure if another cat (pet) might help, but it
    did for me when I lost my cat.
    
    L-  

    
    
    	You may find some more advice if you enter a note into
    	QUARK::HUMAN_RELATIONS
    
    
    	Sherry
    

    Your poor Mom.  Does DEC's EAP (employee assistance program) cover
    relatives?  You might give them a call (local personnel would have
    their number) and ask their advice.  My guess is they would help
    since this is your problem too.  Every so often people have
    a right to do what they feel instead or what they think....
    especially after all the troubles your Mom has had;  I'm sure
    she will heal in time.
    

    Did your Mom actually see the deceased body? Or participate in the
    funeral?  That usually is a big help in accepting that fact that that
    individual is indeed gone.
    Has she shown interest in sharing her life with another kitty?
    
                            Denise

if your mom has a cat flap, you might also recommend that she move her feeding
bowls OUTSIDE the house....anything could be coming in the flap, from another
cat or dog to wild creatures that could cause injury if suddenly suprised by
a human.  Obviously, she needs someone to talk to about her sense of loss...
perhaps a minister at her church could recommend someone for grief counseling.
At the rate that she has lost kittens, it would only add to her heartache if
she adopted another - just to have it run over in a few months...if she feels
her cats must be allowed out, I would not recommend another cat.  Would she
enjoy the company of a bird, perhaps, or other animal that she would be
comfortable keeping indoors?  Birds can be very good companions as they are
relatively long-lived, adapt well to confined spaces as long as they have
companionship....and some can learn to talk.  Rabbits are also very cuddly
and adapt well to indoor living.  They seem to be trainable to a cat box
too.  With an indoor-only pet, the cat flap could be replaced with something
more solid - which would keep strangers from invading for food and water.

    I suggest you call Angell Memorial or the MSPCA in Boston.  I believe
    they have some grief councelling and perhaps could give you some advice
    to help your mother.  I really feel for her.
    
    I agree that if your mother feels she must let her cats outdoors that
    she shouldn't have another cat.  If she were willing to keep them 
    indoors and/or leash train them, perhaps two cats together would be
    a good idea.  That way she'd know they had each other for company 
    when she was out.  And they'd get their exercise by playing together.
    
    I think the suggestion of another type of pet, like bird or rabbit is
    a good one and I know someone with rabbits to place.  If you're
    interested contact me and I'll put you in touch.  She lives in 
    Northboro.
      Nancy DC
    

    I feel your Mom is just going through some stages of grieving.
    Through some tough experiences with losing both my parents..I
    felt sometimes it just made me feel a little bit better pretending
    they were still near me.   I think the lose of this kitty probably
    brought back the grieving for her other kitty and her friend.
    All that is tough to handle.
    
    I believe some proffesional coucelling could help her get 
    through this easier.
    
    Sandy
    
    

    
    
    I know that there are voluntary groups who do grief counselling in the
    UK. I don't know all of them but there is the CRUSE organisation for
    bereavement counselling.  They are a voluntary organisation and  their
    Reading location is:
    
    	CRUSE
    	125 Oxford Road
    	Reading RG1 7UH
         open 10:am - 2:00pm (Mon-Fri)
    	Phone: Reading 588133
    
    
    Or there is another Family counselling group that I have used. I can't 
    remember the name but if you ring Reading 882448 and ask for Margaret
    she has a list of lots of Caring Groups and will be very glad to help
    you.  
    
    It sounds like your Mum really needs to talk to someone and work out
    her feelings.  Help is only a phone call away.  Let us know how you
    both get on.

    This is to update you on how my Mum is now.
    After a week or two, she finally accepted that Oliver was dead and she
    had one big cry and then seemed much better. She also contacted a
    counselling service for bereaved pet owners in Birmingham (I'm sorry,
    she didn't give me any further details - I suppose she was a bit
    embarrassed.).
    A neighbour's cat (one of Oliver's playmates) came in quite frequently
    to see her and I think that was also a comfort.
    For the last month or so, Mum has been considering taking in another
    cat. She's been round to the local rescue centre and answered a few
    adverts. 
    
    Today, Mum came home with a tiny, six-week-old kitten. She is a pretty
    little grey tabby and white. The mother is a stray who had kittens in a 
    local breeder's garden and, when the rain started last week, the breeder 
    took the kittens in. Mum's new baby was the last one to be found a home.
    The kitten is, as yet, unnamed. Mum has been thinking of calling her
    Lily or Lucy, but says that my sister can chose the name. Like a
    typical teenager, my sister can't make her mind up yet!
    Mum is in seventh heaven!!
         

    :*) That's great to hear...
    
    I wish your Mum lots of joy!!
    
    Bonnie

    The new kitten's name is Becky. 

    I'm so glad your Mum is feeling better, and wish her and her new baby
    all the best.
    

    I'm really pleased for your mum.  Hope she has lots of good times with
    Becky.
    
    Regards,
    
    Karen (and Georgie)
    

    My poor Mum!
    
    Becky now has ringworm, fleas, and earmites! Oh, and last week she vomited
    a stomach-load of worms all over the floor.
    
    She has lotions, tablets, drops, creams and liquid medicine every day
    (Becky, not my Mum!) and it takes at least twenty minutes each time to get 
    all the pills and potions down her.
    The poor kitten isn't three months old yet! I suppose this is because
    her mother was a stray.
    
    My sister has caught the ringworm also. The rest of us are keeping a
    look out for it! 
    

    Geez!  I can sympathize with that.  There have been times when its
    seemed like the entire household is on medications of various times.
    And I remember having the four ferals around.  
    
    Just tell her it will be worth it when its all over.  Also, if pilling
    the kitten is a problem - Fulvicin tastes horrible!!! - get a pill
    popper.  It allows you to deposit the pill at the back of the 
    tongue so the cat doesn't even have to taste it.
     
    Good luck.
    

    I believe if she vomited worms....she must also have some
    other type of worms other then ringworm.  Sounds like Roundworms
    to me!  Poor thing!!!
    
    Your poor Mom...once Becky is feeling up to par...I'm sure she will
    appreciate your Mom for all the medication.
    
    Sandy

Ringworm is a fungus on the skin, not a worm that would be vomited.

As -.1 said she probably also has roundworms.

Dawn

    She has ringworm AND roundworms. The ringworm seems to be healing up
    quite nicely though. Becky doesn't seem at all affected by it all -
    she's a normal, lively little kitten - it's my mum that's feeling
    off-colour (Becky threw up in the kitchen - Mum was eating at the
    time!).
    The pill-popper sounds very interesting - I shall look out for one. At
    the moment Becky is too small to put up much resistance, but I'm sure
    she'll learn!

    If it is hard to pill the baby...have her call the vet and request
    some liquid medicine.  I know that Roundworm medicine comes in
    pills and the liquid.  The one we used...is Nemex 2 liquid.  
    
    Poor Mom....atleast Becky is keeping her very busy!!!
    
    Sandy

    I also can vouch for the liquid.....Nippa would barf up the pill as
    soon as I would get it down.....what a stinker!

    She's got fleas now!!!!               
    
    We're looking out for mange - it's the only thing she hasn't had yet,
    so it's bound to come!
    
    The earmites have cleared up and the ringworm is diminishing - at
    least, her fur is growing back on the bald patches.
    My sister's ringworm is also going, albeit gradually. The doctor's
    reaction was so horrified it was funny! Took little sister along to see
    him and explained that the kitten had ringworm and that we suspected
    that my sister had developed it too. The look on his face couldn't have
    been bettered if we'd told him we suspected the Plague!
    He examined the patches and confirmed it. He is a foreign doctor and
    his English is rather broken. He said to my mother:
    "And where is this little cat now?"
    "At home." my mother replied, rather puzzled.
    "Not dead?!"
    My mother was outraged. "No, no! You can cure it nowadays!!"
    The doctor was amazed. "How do you cure the little cat?"
    Mum was beginning to feel quite hot and bothered by now. "Well, I put
    her on my lap, I force her mouth open and I shove a pill down her
    throat!" she said, rather belligerently. (She isn't really that rough,
    though!)
    The doctor gave my mother an incredulous look. "Does it not bite??!"
    (Becky is only just three months old!)
    Anyway, the upshot of it was that my sister was given some cream to
    apply to the patches, after some cross questioning from the doctor:
    "Does little cat sleep on your bed?!!"