Conference misery::feline_v1

    First of all, congratulations!  
    
    Having brought in a kitten as a companion for the 'one and only'
    Tiffany, there were a few spits and growls but now are the best of
    friends.  I then brought in a third (adult) and it took a little more
    time and patience...but all worked out fine.
    
    I understand what it's like to be going through it right NOW - but
    unless you see blood....the spitting, hissing and growling is part of
    the normal process in establishing dominance - rank and determining 
    who's boss.
    
    I found (the second time I brought a new cat in) that if I played it
    cool and let nature take it's course...the easier it was (most of all
    for me).  Instead of constantly following them and trying so desparately 
    to get them to 'bond' and love one another...I ignored them completely 
    and I let them do their own thing.
    
    Keep us posted and let us know how they (...and you) are doing!
    
    By the way, what are their names?
    
    
    Marilyn, Otis, Tiffany and Sam
    

    Dear Upset Mom:
    
    There are many notes that address this subject in the file.  I know
    because I read them all before I brought Nymets home to meet Sidney. 
    Do a dir/tit search and read each appropriate topic.  These notes will
    give you invaluable information, suggestions and most important, peace
    of mind.  Before too long your two kitties will be best buddies.  Sid
    and Nymets are inseparable - they do everything together.  The only
    thing they fight over is the plastic twist ties to the bread wrappers. 
    They are also in for a big surprise when I get home tonight because I'm
    stopping by Kitty Angels to adopt a kitten on the way home.
    
    Congratulations on your new addition.  Hissing and growling are to be
    expected but your male won't hurt the new cat - he's just letting it be
    known this is HIS house.  In time, they'll work it out between
    themselves. 
    Just be sure you show him lots of attention and affection.  He needs to
    know he's not being replaced.
    
    Keep us posted!
    
    Terry, Sidney, Nymets and a kitten to be named later
                   
    

    You can expect a bit of growling, hissing and even a few brawls
    for a little while.  I'm sure they will work it out between them.
    
    All you need to do is make sure each of them are getting alot of
    attention.  I own three kitties...and believe me we still go 
    through some brawls once in awhile, but yet on other occasions
    they sleep and play together.  I found that in the beginning..
    if I was around they would hiss and growl more...so maybe they
    would be okay together while your at work.  
    
    If the growling/hissing get real bad...just put each one in a
    separate room and close the door until they get cooled off. I
    found this worked pretty well for me.
    
    Sandy (Tamba, Poco, and Barkley)
    
    
    
    

    I do it a little differently.....I introduce the new to
    the old in a supervised "show & tell".  They get to see,
    get the scent of the newcomer(s), and all are given attention
    during this intro period.  No fighting allowed!!!!
    If I had let them fight it out....I would have buried 2 kittens!
    They are in separate rooms when I am not home to supervise,
    and the "visits" get longer and longer each day as the week goes by.
    Separate food, water and litter pans are required for this, BTW.
    The two older cats even hissed & growled at each other, but this
    is normal.
    My old were two 3 yr old neutered males, and the new were
    two 5 week old boys.  Yes, there was spitting, growling, hissing
    and even swipes made, but by the end of two weeks, the 3 yr olds
    were "nursing" and cleaning the two babies.  
              
    (They still do this, and both "babies" are twice the size of the
    2 older cats :-) )
                                                                    
    L-

    and then you can try the 'butt sniff' method. 
    
    Hold the new baby butt end out toward the older baby and let
    the oldster sniff as long as he wants to.  Perform this task
    at least 3 or 4 times per day.  Basically, all the older kid
    wants to do, is find out who owns this new smell.  Once they
    are satisfied and can recognize the new smell, things calm
    down some.  It's interesting to watch - when you hold the
    baby out for the older one to sniff, invite him over -
    tell him that it's his new baby !!
    
    IT's fun!
    
    E.T.

An then there's the 'make 'em smell like neither' method.  When I brought
Hannah home, Josh was totally unimpressed.  Much hissing and growling on both
sides. Until I gave them both a flea bath. By the time they had dried, they 
were fine.  They were both so bent out of shape about getting wet, they  
completely forgot their hatred of each other.  (it was all aimed at me 8^)

    
    
       Well, the male is Dandy (short for Dandelion) he was two in April.   
      
      The female is named Tiffany (that was her name when we got her so we
    
    decided to keep it.)  She is 5 months today.  She is a Grey/white tiger
    
    tabby.  Dandy is a Tan/white/black, well he looks like a tiger tabby.
    
    He has a great personality.  I guess I was really shocked when he even
    
    growled at me!  Tiffany is so happy.  She rubs herself all over us.  
    
       Oh, I forgot to mention that we also have a 13 year old dog. 
    
    Cricket is a small dog and gets along fine with Dandy.  When I put
    
    Tiffany down to meet with Cricket, they seemed to get along, although
    
    Tiffany put her fur up for a minute.
    
       I'm sure it was quite a change for this little kitty to come from
    
    an apartment to our house with 2 children, 1 dog and 1 cat.
    
       Thanks for your quick replys.  I'll keep you posted.
    
    Patti, Cricket, Dandy, and Tiffany. (oh, can't forget the 8 or so fish)
    
     
    
                        

    Aw heck - Mao STILL has hissy fits.  She gets especially nervous
    when all 7 of the kittens are in the bedroom with us and she still
    regularly hisses at Isis who she has know for 6 years!  
    
    She's pretty happy tho because if I give her some concentrated
    attention she purrs to beat the band.
      Nancy

    
      Well I'm happy to say that Dandy and Misty (we decided to change the
    name) are doing well after only two days.  They aren't great friends
    yet but they do have fun chasing each other around the house at about
    50 miles a minute.
    
    
      There is a new problem though.  Well I'll try to tell you in two
    lines  or less.  Dandy (who is two) used to go outside.  He was mostly
    an indoor cat, but would go out for a few hours here and there.  Then
    he started to beg at around 4:00 AM to go out.  This was ok.  We'd put
    him out and he was back in before I left for work.  Then he wanted to
    go out around 9:00 pm and wouldn't come back in until the next morning.
    Well I didn't like this and it finally happened.  Dandy got into a
    fight or something and had a scratch beside his head.  Then I notices 
    it was kind of puffy.  I took him to the vet and it was an abscess. 
    Well they made a couple of holes in it and it had to drain for a week
    and......I had to put stuff on it.  Well anyway, we decided to make him
    stay INDOORS.  Well he doesn't seem to be excepting it very well.  We
    thought the new kitty would help.  
    
       For the past two nights he has gotten the screen off the window and
    spent the entire night outside.  We are not very happy with him.  He
    isn't happy inside.  He goes from door to window meowing.  Will this
    stop if we stick to our guns and not let him out?????
    
       Needless to say, the vet bill showed me that indoor kitties are
    better.  This one better adjust!
    
    Upset Mom
    
    
    
    

    I've never had outdoor cats, but judging from what I've read in
    notes about converting an outdoor cat to an indoor cat - yes, it will
    stop.  In the meantime you could confine Dandy to the bathroom or
    some other "kitty jail" when he gets out of hand with his howling.
    He'll soon learn that rather than getting him what he wants, howling
    will get him "jailed".
      Nancy DC

    I disagree.  Converting an indoor/outdoor cat to indoor only greatly
    depends on the cat.  I personally don't believe in forcing them to stay
    indoors if they simply can't adjust after a certain period of time. 
    I'm not saying don't try, you owe it to Dandy to at least give it your
    best shot.  I had a cat, Chauncey, who was an absolute terror when
    confined indoors, our screens are a mess and his personality was just
    as bad.  But, when outside he was the happiest cat in the world.  He
    was hit and killed by a car last year; we found out that he had
    followed a jogger to the main road and was struck... but I still don't
    have any regrets about letting him outside.  He would still be alive
    today had I forced him to be an indoor only cat but he would also be
    miserable... and only I can make that determination because I am the
    one who had to live with him.  No one else can make the decision for
    you, but again, it is certainly worth a try.  I am not trying to steer
    you in the opposite direction, just adding my experiences.  Some strays
    are very happy and grateful to finally have a home and live indoors the
    rest of their life, others are not.
    
    Is Dandy neutered?  T.K. came to me as a stray, he had probably lived
    outdoors for most or all of his approximated 2 years.  He wasn't
    neutered, and got absesses quite a bit (before I could acutally capture
    him and take him to the vet).  Once neutered, however, his temperament
    did a 360... and he is still an indoor/outdoor cat but the most mellow,
    loving cat I have ever had.  He does not get into fights anymore and
    the only vet bills I have had with him are his yearly physicals and
    shots.
    
    
    --Roberta
    

    
    
      WELL I called the Vet today to ask his opinion.  Dandy is neutered. 
    After his trip to the vet we decided to keep him in.  He would meow
    at the door, but seemed not REAL bothered by it.  It was only after
    we brought home a new kitty (Misty) that he started climbing the
    screens and getting out.  I think he isn't quite so happy with the
    new one yet.  As I said before, they do run through the house together
    but they haven't acutally sniffed "butts" yet either.  The vet was
    inclined to think that it was the new kitty.  Not so much him not being
    able to get outside.
    
       Also, I suppose it is real hard right now, as when we are home we
    are outside quite a bit.  When the kids go to school and us to work
    maybe things will settle down a bit.  The vet said to give Dandy as
    much attention as possible right now.  I feel soooooo bad.  I was only
    trying to give Dandy a friend to make staying indoors more fun.
    
    
    
    

I live with an ex-feral cat, Hannah, and I can tell you that they DO adjust.
The time it takes depends on the cat, the cat-owner, and the environment.
However, even the brightest cat "forgets" that which doesn't happen in his
world for awhile.  The amount of time it takes can vary.  

First, you must make sure Dandy cannot get out.  Period.  If you have to
confine him to a safe haven when you are asleep for awhile, do it.  The
most important part of the equation is to STOP the behavior.  Make sure all
screens are secure.  I had a cat that worked through two screens in my
house and I nailed wooden slats over the edges of the screens on the two sides..
on the OUTSIDE so I could nail the slats to the house.  The screen exits
are usually accomplished by working a corner out of the slot...so this
worked just fine for me.  I also had a screen the in the bathroom that was
kinda loose and I used the silver, all-weather tape (used on air conditioners
and stuff) to tape the screen frame to the window frame.  I can still force
the screens out in case of fire because I know to hit very hard on the sides
of the screens and force the slats of wood holding them to break.  The cats
cannot move the screens off the window.  I also re-screened using metal
mesh rather than nylon.  Their toe nails won't go through metal mesh.  I
did two screens a week until I had them all done.  Do the screens Dandy works
on most first.  Place him with cat box, water, food, and companion cat in
a secure area when you are sleeping or when you cannot watch him.  In a 
few weeks time, his behavior should get much better.  If he isn't neutered,
get him neutered.  and HANG IN THERE!

P.S.  If he howls when confined at night, try placing an old fashioned
ticking clock wrapped in a towel in the room with him...sometimes the
noise will soothe the "wild beast".

    I have been a read-only noter for a while now.  I actually use the
    notes file as a reference document when I have a problem with my
    girls.. Miss Priss and Willa Jean.  It's been great and I have learned
    alot.  I'm far from an expert but, I will say that after over two
    years, Miss Priss still hates Willa Jean.  She probably hates her
    worse now than she did in the beginning, but it's all relative!
    For the first year, Prissy even hated me (I was the one who brought
    Willa home therefore I was held personally responsible.)  Her
    personality change dramatically.  My loving, sweet, darling, wouldn't
    hurt a flee cat suddenly turned into a monster.  She wouldn't hang
    around us anymore.  I was not allowed to pet her.  She even wapped
    me twice.  She also spent more and more time outside, just coming
    home to eat.  So I tried locking her in the house.  This seemed
    to make matters worse since she figured that being locked in the
    house meant it was Willa's fault.  For the first year I didn't know
    what to do.  Prissy is (a stray that adopted me) a very territorial
    cat and is incredibly sophisticated (she reads Vogue and sips
    champagne.)  Willa on the other hand, loves everyone, she silly,
    and loves tormenting Prissy.  They are completely different personality
    types.  When Prissy hisses at Willa (approximately 27 times/day)
    I normally ignore it, but will occasionally remind her that it is
    not very "lady-like."  And when Willa Jean is being an extra pest,
    I let her know that it really isn't necessary.  Over time they have
    figured out a way to co-habitate, but will never be best buddies.
    In the winter when it's too cold to go outside (anything below 50
    degrees)  they stay in the house all day.  I would love to have
    a hidden camera.  I was assured by my vet that one day I would come
    home from work to find them nestled together in a chair.  Ha!  Never!
    But that's ok I love them both.  After two years, I kinda get a
    kick out of watching them interact.
    
    Lois,
    Miss Priss
    Willa Jean

    It's amazing how many times you can tell them something and they
    just won't listen.  My guess is that they probably get along fairly
    well when you are not home,.,,,but as soon as they see mom they
    start acting up for attention.   
    
    Hopefully as they get older together they will be able to tolerate
    each other more. 
    
    Welcome to becomming a writer now...I'm sure you can share some
    of your experiences and help others. This notes file has helped
    me in so many ways.... support, reference and how to best value
    other people's opinions.  How about introducing Miss Priss and Willa
    Jean in another note.  Does priss stand for prissy???
    
    Sandy (Tamba, Poco, and Barkley
                              

    
       Well I am happy to say that my two are getting along GREAT!!!
    Dandy stopped growling at Misty around the second day and tried
    just ignoring her.  Since Misty wanted to play, Dandy soon became
    great friends.  Now they run through the house at 40 mph, up the
    stairs, down the stairs, wrestling all over the place.  They will
    even share their food dish (but they have seperate ones anyway).
    
       Dandy still doesn't like staying inside.  He keeps going to the
    window and stratching.  Sometimes he drives us crazy doing it and
    other times he doesn't bother with the window.  I guess he's adjusting.
    
    Patti, Dandy, Misty (sometimes Missy)