| T.R | Title | User | Personal
Name | Date | Lines |
|---|
| 3776.1 | It ain't easy, but it can work out | WR2FOR::CORDESBRO_JO | set home/cat_max=infinity | Fri Jul 06 1990 21:02 | 49 |
| Louisa,
I think that I know what you must be going through. I inherited
4 cats when my close friend and fellow breeder received orders from
the Navy to relocate to Hawaii. Hawaii is a quarantine state and
we all felt that the cats would not survive the four months of jail
so I took in the cats. About a year later, another of my friend's
cats (who was originally placed in a different foster home) came
to me. Her name is Kaisha and she is very shy. I wanted to bring
her out of her shyness for my friend's sake, and for Kaisha's.
Kaisha wasn't this shy when she went to the foster home. I think
that missing her real mom probably made her problem worse.
Kaisha is not an outdoor cat, she is inside only, so some of what
I did for her may not work for you. The first thing that I did
was to confine Kaisha in a cage. Now, some of you may think that
this was cruel, but she had all the comforts that she needed, food
water, litter and toys, and she had frequent daily contact with
me, which she wouldn't have had if she had been loose in the house.
With her confined, she couldn't run from me when I went to pet or
cuddle her. Several times a day I would go in and talk to her softly.
After that, we graduated to me petting her. Then I would play with
her with a kitty tease (which she was afraid of at first). Finally,
we got to the point where she would let me pick her up. I would
go in and pick her up and hold her for about 3 minutes, several
times a day. This whole process took about a two months.
When she got to that point, I moved her into a larger cage, one
that was not off the ground, so that she had to have some interaction
with the other cats, if only through the bars of the cage. I continued
with the regular picking up sessions. After she got to where she
wouldn't hiss and growl at everyone, I started letting her out for
supervised visits. At first she hid under the bed the minute we
let her out. She now has full run of the house, she is fearful
of strangers, but SHE DOESN'T RUN FROM ME ANYMORE. And, she gets
along fine with the other cats. She isn't totally over her shyness,
but she is much improved from when I got her. She came to live
with us in February, so this whole process took about 4-5 months.
Don't give up on Nephra, give her time. She will come to love you
in time. If you can keep her inside, I would do it. That way,
she has no choice but to interact with you. If she is allowed to
go outside, she is allowed to avoid the problem. Go slowly, don't
force anything on her before she is ready. You need to build up
her trust in you.
Good Luck
Jo
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| 3776.2 | | CIRCUS::KOLLING | Karen/Sweetie/Holly/Little Bit Ca. | Fri Jul 06 1990 21:09 | 5 |
| I am sorry about your mother. Nephra is surely grieving for her too,
and is extra upset at having to adjust to a new "family" when she
is already stressed. I am sure things will work out with enough
time and patience. Jo's suggestions all sound good to me.
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| 3776.3 | u have to force the contact | IOWAIT::WILDE | Ask yourself..am I a happy cow? | Sat Jul 07 1990 20:49 | 15 |
| I adopted a feral cat, Nick, who is probably retarded (my vet thinks so)...
he is also very shy and easily frightened and stops eating whenever any
new thing happens. I must emphatically second Jo's suggestions...u need
to get the cat where u can talk to her and touch her often. I suggest
catching and confining her to the house, one room, and work on her
socialization. A cage where u can really control her movements, and
reach her easily to touch and pet often is a very good idea. If u
don't do this, she won't come around. I had Nick for 8 years before
I learned that I had to force our interaction in order to socialize
him. Now, at 10 years old, he isn't a "hale well met" fellow, but he
is a love to me and my roommate and he will come out to meet guests
if they come around more than once. It's worth it, by the way...I
treasure Nicky's love so much.
D and the gang: Hannah, Nicky, Sam, and Tabitha
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| 3776.4 | We hope All Works Out for you.. | OFFPLS::SPINGLER | | Mon Jul 09 1990 13:13 | 17 |
|
I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my mother two years ago, I still
miss her, but (trite as it may seem) time does help to heal the hurt.
Also, you will notice, after a while, that you mother is still with you
in so many ways. Ths skills she taught you, the things she loved that
will bring back lovely memories for you. You have my deepest sympathy.
I second (third, fourth?) the suggestion of Jo, try to keep your kitty
in a small area. It's not cruel, it will give the cat a feeling of
safety and security, which will help her to overcome her shyness.
Jo is wise in the way of cats, good luck to you.
Feline hopeful that you will be sucessful with your cat,
Sue & Panther & Spot
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| 3776.5 | thank you | FLOWER::PIERCE | | Mon Jul 09 1990 15:23 | 11 |
|
thank you Jo and everyone eles. I will try a cage and lots of love
I was tyring to keep her in my bedroom at night w/ me...but I guess
it was to big of an enviorment for her...I will start small. I will
let you know if she begins to love/trust me..My mother really loved
this cat..when she was in the hospital we had to take pitchers of
Nephra and bring them to her...so I want to do my best..
Thank you all again
Louisa, Nephra, Boots, Chammie, Carmel
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| 3776.6 | more info. | PARITY::DENISE | And may the traffic be with you | Mon Jul 09 1990 20:55 | 5 |
|
Don't forget to describe poor Boots. Someone may be looking
for a kitty just like her......
good luck, Denise
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| 3776.7 | It takes time.. | WOODRO::IVES | | Mon Jul 09 1990 21:24 | 10 |
| I too am sorry for your loss. Mom's are so special and never leave
your memory.
If you ever get Nephra use to a ceiling fan tell me how? Where we go on
vacation they have them and they do help to keep it cooler but the cats
are scared to death of them. They love the houses (one in the mountains
in the winter and one on the edge of a lake in the summer) but we have
learned NEVER to put the fans on.
Barbara
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| 3776.8 | | WR2FOR::CORDESBRO_JO | set home/cat_max=infinity | Mon Jul 09 1990 22:31 | 13 |
| We installed a ceilling fan in Kalliste's room and he was afraid
of it at first, but he has gotten used to it. Since we have to
leave his window shut most of the time, he needs the fan to help
keep the room cool and from getting stuffy. Our fan has three speeds,
I started him out on low, and waited until he was used to it before
using the higher speeds. Now it doesn't bother him at all. The
visiting queens don't seem to mind it either.
Try keeping the fans on low, and giving lots of reassurance, and
the cats should come around. They will never get used to it if
you don't ever use it when they are around. :^)
Jo
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| 3776.9 | | FRAGLE::PELUSO | PAINTS; color your corral | Tue Jul 10 1990 12:11 | 5 |
| I got Nippa used to fans by making her accept them. WE have a ceiling
fan in the family room and I have one in my window. All I did was put
it on low and put her in my room w/ the door shut. After awhile, I
picked her up and brought her over to it so she could sniff and paw at
it. Ever since then the fans have never bothered her.
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| 3776.10 | | TOPDOC::TRACHMAN | EmacX Exotics * 264-8298 | Tue Jul 10 1990 13:12 | 10 |
| This note brought back a funny memory! KoKo, my 9-year old, went
really wacco when I had the ceiling fan installed. She was on the
couch sleeping when I turned it on for the first time - she just
flattened herself down as flat as she could get - I think she thought
she was invisible and the big 'thing' couldn't see her! ears were
as far back and as flat as she could get them. The poor baby was
really terrified - it took her a long time before she would even
enter the living room with the fan on - she would sort of linger
in the door way and warily watch it - then run like crazy. She
doesn't even remember now that she was that afraid of it.
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| 3776.11 | :-) :-) | FLOWER::PIERCE | | Tue Jul 10 1990 20:23 | 11 |
|
at least i know i am not alone (espally w/ the celing fan) I guess
nephra will get use to it..like your have or have not..thank you all
this conference is terrific..
last night Nephra let me pet her and she sleept w/ me all night
and not under the bed but on my pillow
thank you all again :-)
Louisa
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| 3776.12 | Patiences, Love and Caring | WILLEE::MERRITT | | Wed Jul 11 1990 16:53 | 23 |
|
So sorry to hear about your mom. I had a similiar situation when
my mom passed away. She left us her white nasty cat (Taffy) who I grew
to love and care for dearly. Taffy was always nasty, independant,
and loved to take bites out of people. By keeping Taffy I still felt
so close to my Mom...it really helped with the grieving. Since then
Taffy also had to be put to sleep due to two tumors on her kidneys.
That was real hard to do because I felt I lost the only tie I had.
But I figured he was back with Mom taking bites out of her arm.
How we got Taffy to participate was with alot of patiences, loving,
caring, and a few bite marks. After awhile he became so close to
my husband and even allowed me to pet him under his conditions.
He was a real "different cat" even with my Mom. But I loved him
dearly.
All I can say is keep trying to get close to Nephra. Also if you
are not going to keep Boots...please please try and find him a good
home. They both deserve alot of love and I'm sure they miss your
mom.... like you do.
Sandy (Tamba, Poco, and Barkley)
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