Conference misery::feline_v1

    Craig -  How long have you had her.  It does take a while for cats
    to adjust to a new housemate - and a kitten is your best bet for
    bringing in a new cat.  
      Nancy DC
    

    We've had her about a month now and the other cat refuses to come in
    the house. We've made attempts to put them together hoping the older
    cat would adjust to the kitten, we've kept the two seperated inside the
    house in the hopes that the older cat would get aquainted with the
    smell of the  kitten - but no dice so far.  The older cat gets
    "uptight" within a matter of seconds after she's in the house and
    heads for the door.
    
    What kills me is that the older cat likes to hang out with this
    "mangey" cat in the neighborhood - she lets him in the yard without
    conflict and sits there with him - has no problem liking him.
    
    But winter is coming and the older cat can't stay out all the time
    after this.
    
    Craig
    
 

    Craig -
     Maybe you ought to make your older cat stay in for a bit.  When
    I complained that Tym wasn't getting along with the others after
    3 months, my vet said that 3 months isn't a long time. Of course,
    it seems like an eternity when you have cats who don't get along.
      Well, good luck and I'll keep my eyes & ears open for someone
    who wants a kitten.
      Nancy DC

    Hi Nancy
    
    Thanks for wishing me luck - wish me patience as well.
    
    I really will hate to see the "li'l cat" go because she really is
    a great cat - as far as cats go.
    
    Craig 

Craig,

I agree with Nancy (in .3) about keeping the older cat in for a while.  In
addition, you should pay MUCH more loving attention to the older cat, and
do NOT give the new cat any attention beyond normal "maintenance".  This
does not mean to treat the new cat rudely, just don't give her (much)
affection at first.  The idea is to assure the older cat that you still 
love him/her, while forcing the new cat to seek attention elsewhere, 
and where else can she turn but to the older cat.  If you play with the 
new cat, the other cat smells YOU on her, and feels that his/her territory 
has been invaded.

There will be hissing and fighting for a while, and/or the cats will
ignore each other, but eventually, they will develop a tolerance for each
other, and often it will become a friendship.

We have 20 or so cats, and have used this routine every time a new cat
comes into our household.  The longest period of adjustment was the first,
it took about six months for the cats to become friends.  But most of
that six months was spent ignoring each other, with occasional cat fights.
Since then, the adjustment takes less and less time, to the point that
it only lasts a day or two now.

Good luck,
Paul

    I've tried the "give the older cat attention" ie. tried to comb her
    while she was in the house but she's pretty stubborn.
    
    No reponses out there yet.
    
    Hey Paul since you don't know whether it's 20 or 21, we can make
    it a definite 21 if you'd like
    ;^)
    Craig

I guess the trick is to "out stubborn" the cat.  Keep showering attention
on her, maybe give her catnip or some treat that she likes, try to play
games with her that she likes, and don't let the kitten join in.  It does
take patience, but once you start, you should notice some changes in their
attitude in a few weeks.
    
By the way, the only reason I don't know if it's 20 or 21, is because Spats
hasn't decided yet if "owning" us is worth the price.  You see, he's an 
un-neutered local stray that likes to come in to eat and visit, but the 
price of permanent admission to our house is spay/neuter.  But he will
be number 21 sooner or later.

I wish I had a larger house & more land so I could take in more cats, 
but that will be a few years.  Oh, well...

Paul

    
    About 3 years ago I got a little kitten for my 5 yr. old male cat, GB.
    He *hated* her!! He'd spend most of his time hiding, and if he had
    to be within sight or sound of her, he'd hiss and growl. This went
    on for a couple of weeks until, one evening, I was sitting in front
    of the tv munching on some wonderful liver pate' they sell at Purity
    Supreme. "Pate' Mousse" or something like that. And both cats were
    hanging around begging from me and GB was still hissing at Grizzy.
    	
    So...I rubbed the pate' on the kitten! And GB licked it off her!!!
    He loved her! Never knew she tasted so good!! And she thought it was
    great, too. Now they're inseparable.
    
    Check it out.
    
    -julie

    Although I got no response from people using this file that were
    interested in taking the kitten, we did find a place for her.
    
    A friend of my room-mates knows this woman from Acton that places
    cats.
    
    The kitten is now living with a retired couple and they like her.
    
    The older cat started to come in the house again and seems to be
    pleased.
    
    I guess we're all happy ... but I will miss the little bugger

    Oh that sounds great!  I'm sure she'll get lots of attention and
    love.
      Glad to hear the good news.
      Nancy DC