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Conference misery::feline_v1

Title:	Meower Power is Valuing Differences
Notice:	FELINE_V1 is moving 1/11/94 5pm PST to MISERY
Moderator:	MISERY::VANZUYLEN_RO

Created:	Sun Feb 09 1986
Last Modified:	Tue Jan 11 1994
Last Successful Update:	Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:	5089
Total number of notes:	60366

2644.0. "Goodbye Shelby... I'll miss you" by FSHQA2::RWAXMAN (A Cat Makes a Purrfect Friend) Fri Jun 30 1989 17:14

    This is the hardest note I have ever had to write but the hurt needs
    to be let out and shared with fellow feliners.
    
    Yesterday, morning, Shelby, my beautiful bluepoint Ragdoll, died
    suddenly and without warning.  I woke up as usual and went downstairs
    to feed the cats.  Shelby was nowhere to be found.  That wasn't
    like him at all; he was always underfoot when breakfast was being
    served.
    
    I called for him and received no response.  I checked all the rooms
    in the house.  No Shelby.  Finally, I ran down to the basement where
    the litter box is kept.  There, at the foot of the stairs, was Shelby,
    alive, but totally paralyzed in the hindquarters.  He could not
    move his back legs at all and kept rolling over and over, emitting
    pitiful, heartwrenching cries.  I panicked, but managed to carry
    him to the top of the stairs and set him down on the carpet.  I
    called up to Dana who came down to stay with him while I called
    the emergency # at the vets.  Dana watched Shelby carefully, taking
    notes on his actions and trying to figure out what had happened.
    I got dressed and ran back to down to the cellar for the cat carrier.
    When I put it in front of Shelby, he managed to drag himself into
    it.  He did this himself, like he knew the end was near.  His breathing
    was becoming worse by the minute.
    
    The vet met me at the clinic within 20 minutes.  He checked Shelby
    everywhere.  No bones were broken.  He listened to his heart with
    the stethoscope.  His chest was filled with fluid.  He told me he
    was first going to drain the fluid and then take some XRAYS.
    Unfortunately, the latter never occured.  My beautiful 10 month
    old baby passed away as the Dr. tried to release the fluid from
    his lungs.
    
    His first suspicion was cardiomyopathy but after a gross autopsy
    was performed, he ruled out that theory.  He is attributing Shelby's
    death to an acute allergic reaction.  To what, I don't know.  There
    was no foreign matter in his body, just normal food.  Tissues have
    been sent to Tufts for further observation and we won't know more
    until the results are back.  FIP was also ruled out as the cause
    of death.  There were no signs of it in the gross autopsy.
    
    I am not convinced that Shelby died of an acute allergic reaction.
    He was an indoor cat.  He had been eating the same food I had always
    fed him.  Did a bug bite him?  What could have happened?  My belief
    is that my baby died of some type of heart disease or genetic
    deformation:  a freaky thing that had been in him since birth and
    manifested over the course of his short, but richly fulfilled, life.
    
    Dana and I are devastated over Shelby's death.  It was so sudden
    and unprepared, with no forewarning on his part.  We never had time
    to say a proper goodbye.
    
    As for Linda, his breeder; she has been terrific.  She called
    several times yesterday and we cried together.  She wired flowers
    to my home.  She is driving up to Boston from New Jersey today with
    pictures of a litter of 8 week old kittens.  She wants Dana and
    I to choose one which she will drive up to us once the 2nd 4-way
    shot is given and it is old enough to leave home.  No other cat
    will ever replace Shelby, but we need another furry face around
    the house to fill the large, aching hole his death has left.
    
    Dana is going to build him a coffin on Sunday and on Monday, we
    will pick up his body from the vets and give him a decent burial
    in my parent's backyard.
    
    I believe that all things happen for a reason.  Shelby was supposed
    to have been sold to another home -- a home Linda had uneasy feelings
    about, so she sent back the buyer's deposit and sold Shelby to us.
    We are both so thankful that Shelby was given in his 10 months,
    more love and care than most cats have in a liftime.
    
    Goodbye my little friend.... rest in peace.
    
    I love you,
    Roberta

T.R	Title	User	Personal Name	Date	Lines
2644.1	Our hearts go out to you :-(	AIMHI::SPINGLER		`Fri Jun 30 1989 17:39`	10
	sincere sympathy or your terrible loss It is so hard when the young ones leave us suddenly! Be comforted by the fact that shelby loved you both and had a terrific life with you and his furry siblings. Feline tears are salty too, Peace, Sue & Panther & Spot
2644.2	So sorry...	STAR::BARTH		`Fri Jun 30 1989 17:42`	4
	I'm so sorry to hear about Shelby. Know that our thoughts are with you in this difficult time. Karen, Tristan, Tenzing and Max.
2644.3	Shelby will wave to you from kitty heaven	CUPMK::TRACHMAN	ExoticSH=Persian in Underwear	`Fri Jun 30 1989 17:43`	1
	Oh God, Roberta, I am so very very sorry -
2644.4	My thoughts are with you...	WR2FOR::CORDESBRO_JO		`Fri Jun 30 1989 17:45`	12
	Roberta, I am so sorry about Shelby. I lost a four month old kitten in a similar way, so I know the feeling of helplessness. I know how you must be hurting, but take comfort with Chauncey, Nikki, Kelsea, and Tabby. Cats can be amazing in times of sorrow. You may want to await the autopsy results from Tufts before bringing the new baby in. Jo
2644.5	To Shelby...	WR2FOR::HARPHAM_LY		`Fri Jun 30 1989 17:59`	29
	Roberta, My heart is aching for you.... Although nothing can take away your pain right now, perhaps the support of fellow FELINERS can alleviate it somewhat. Abbey, my sister's cat, who I lived with for 3 years, died very suddenly last week (see note 2598). I'm still so so sad over her death, but I did get a lot of comfort from the people who responded to my note. In my experience, most people can't comprehend the great devastation you feel over the loss of a pet, and thus just can't give you the support you need at a time like this, but FELINERS can and do. I hope you too, can take some comfort from the notes you will get in resonse to this very sad passing... Shelby was a lucky cat to have such a loving Mom and Dad. His body is gone now, but his spirit is all around you (probably watching you right now). Like you, I believe things happen for a reason, although its sometimes hard to tell what the reason is until much later. I also believe spirits are eternal, and that your Shelby will come back to life in a form that you may not recognize, but will come to love. Over time you will be less sad, but you'll never forget Shelby. You gave him a loving life while he was here, and did all you could in his final moments. Take comfort in believing this, and watch for your Shelby's spirit someday when you least expect it...
2644.6		STOR06::DALEY		`Fri Jun 30 1989 18:26`	5
	Roberta, I am so sorry for you and Dana. I wish I had all the right words now, but I don't. I just know you are hurting so much now. I am so sorry this happened. Pat
2644.7	sincere sympathy	CASPRO::SPINNEY		`Fri Jun 30 1989 18:41`	4
	we are so very sorry too, <fran, mo, misha,jem,dabby,lyla
2644.8		ALLVAX::LUBY	DTN 287-3204	`Fri Jun 30 1989 18:44`	10
	Roberta, I'm so sorry about Shelby. Another cat will not replace Shelby but another kitten will find his own place in your heart just like Shelby did. Thats the best thing about love ... you can never run out.... there is always more for another friend without replacing the ones you already love. Karen, Cinamon, T.K. and Bandit
2644.9		VIDEO::MORRISSEY	First class ticket to ecstasy	`Fri Jun 30 1989 18:56`	11
	Roberta, Our thoughts are with you and Dana. How awful for you. Sudden death is so hard..... Shelby knows you loved him and loves you back. He was a lucky kitty. Love, JJ, Cary, (Brandi, Sasha and Dukey-kitty too)
2644.10		SCRUZ::CORDES_JA	Walk the Dinosaur	`Fri Jun 30 1989 18:59`	7
	Roberta, We're thinking of you at this terrible time. Try to remember Shelby in his happier moments and perhaps it will help ease the pain of his passing. Jan (Bailey, Amelia and Carrie)
2644.11	Me Too!	CSCOA3::PEDDIGREE_C	Why Thank Que	`Fri Jun 30 1989 19:10`	11
	I lost Peppermint yesterday. She was 22, but I know I would be equally upset no matter when she had died. I saw some books at my local bookstore on grieving for a pet who has died and I'm going to pick them up tonight. I'll try and remember to reply with the titles and authors names. I'm glad to hear (or at least I thought I read) you are looking at another kitty. I'm sure Shelby would like that. My thoughts and my tears are with you! Cyndi
2644.12	I am so sorry	SAFETY::MORRELL		`Fri Jun 30 1989 19:39`	8
	Roberta, My deepest sympathies go out to you and your family. If there is anything I can do or that you need, please call. You have been there for me so many times. I would like to return the favor. Kathy
2644.13	The Results	FSHQA2::RWAXMAN	A Cat Makes a Purrfect Friend	`Fri Jun 30 1989 19:49`	15
	I didn't think the results would come back from Tufts so fast. The vet just called me. Shelby died of cardiomyopathy. He is going to send me a copy of the pathologist report and I will furnish a copy to Linda, the breeder. Since cardiomyopathy is genetically linked, my vet feels she should be aware and informed. At least I know what claimed my baby. Now, I can accept his death as unpreventable and something that was nobody's fault. Pray for my Kelsey and the new baby... we'll need your prayers. /Roberta
2644.14		FSHQA2::RWAXMAN	A Cat Makes a Purrfect Friend	`Fri Jun 30 1989 20:14`	8
	And thank you all for your outpourings of sympathy and support. It means so much to know that others care. You are all wonderful, compassionate people. /Roberta
2644.15		REFINE::TAYLOR	Did someone say CCHHOOCCOOLLAATTEE??	`Fri Jun 30 1989 20:27`	5
	Oh my! Roberta, I am so sorry to hear about this. My deepest sympathy's go out to you. If you need an ear to listen, don't hesitate to call. You'll be in our kitty prayers. Holly, tabbatha, silver, pita, micki, seasea, and poo-sing (temporarily)
2644.16		REDWOD::GRAFTON		`Fri Jun 30 1989 22:36`	18
	Roberta, This is such a sad thing. Even reading your note now brought tears to my eyes. I know how much you wanted your babies and how long you waited to get them. You are infinitely patient. And now Dana really understands your love and attaction for cats--look at how he loves Shelby. You were definitely the best family for Shelby. Look at what a wonderful home and life he has had with you and Dana. And you took care of him so quickly, carefully, and lovingly when you realized he was hurting. He knew you would do the best for him and that you loved him. If you want to talk or you need someone or something, call me at any time. Our hearts, thoughts, and prayers are with you now, as always. Because you love so well, God will bless you with more to love. Jill
2644.17		NZOV01::PARKINSON	Reunite Gondwannaland!	`Sat Jul 01 1989 02:14`	10
	Roberta, I'm soo sorry you have had such a tragedy. It has been so obvious in all your notes that you are are true cat-lover in the fullest possible sense. You always seem to have enough love to share with all the cats who need you, in whaetever way. Shelby was a very blessed little fellow to have a home with you and Dana and his "brothers". You are all in my prayers. Shayne (+ Kimi + Sura)
2644.18		HDLITE::FEASE	Andrea Midtmoen Fease	`Wed Jul 05 1989 11:54`	15
	Oh, Roberta, My deepest sympathies. My mother lost her first Abbyssinian from the same thing (cardio...). She found Radames on the floor near his favorite chair, crying to get up there but not able to. He had had a major heart attack; once he was at the vets there was nothing he could do. He called my mother on the phone; she says that she heard Radames crying in the background and asked the vet to release him. My parents, too, weren't able to give Radames a real goodbye, but I'm sure he, like Shelby, knew how much he was loved. If there is anything I can do, please let me know. - Andrea
2644.19		FRAGLE::PELUSO		`Wed Jul 05 1989 12:38`	7
	Roberta- I am so, so sorry to hear about Shelby. If there is anything I can do.... Michele & Nippa
2644.20	R.I.P.	LESCOM::KALLIS	To thine own self be candid.	`Wed Jul 05 1989 14:58`	6
	Roberta -- My deepest sympathies as well. Little ones show _so_ much affection and are so dependent on us for love. Steve Kallis, Jr.
2644.21	I'm so sorry	CLUSTA::TAMIR	ACMS design while-u-wait	`Wed Jul 05 1989 15:00`	9
	Roberta, I'm so very sorry to hear of your loss. Shelby's time on this Earth was limited, but the love he brought was timeless. My tears and prayers are with you and Dana... Mary & crew
2644.22	.. us too..	AIMHI::MCCURDY		`Wed Jul 05 1989 15:59`	2
	.. we are so sorry.. kate ,pookie, and happy
2644.23	How sad...	SWAT::COCHRANE	Solid gold question mark twenty feet tall	`Wed Jul 05 1989 18:21`	5
	Our deepest sympathies are with you at this time. There is nothing more painful in this world than losing a loved one. Mary-Michael, Niniane, Charm, Dream and Boogie
2644.24	It's so hard...	MEMIT::MISSELHORN		`Wed Jul 05 1989 18:54`	5
	Roberta, All of our sympathy too. And our prayers. Barbara, Melody, Melissa and Brittany
2644.25	we are sad too	PARITY::DENISE	And may the traffic be with you	`Wed Jul 05 1989 20:43`	7
	What a sad note to read right after getting back from a long weekend. How terribly sad, Our thoughts are with you too; Denise, Max, Silvy, Pepper, Chief Kitty
2644.26	With great sorrow	USEM::MCQUEENEY	Bob McQueeney	`Thu Jul 06 1989 14:38`	4
	Our deepest sympathy and condolences. Bob (dad), Smoke, Nightmare, & Ruffles
2644.27	So Sorry to Hear...	RETORT::BREDA		`Thu Jul 06 1989 20:38`	7
	Oh my, I am so sad for you. I can hardly imagine how sad and suprised you and Dana must be over the loss of Shelby. I hope your new kitten will help fill your home with a little sunshine again! Take care, Kathy (Mom), Mr. Kitten, Lilly, Cleopatra and Molly Ann
2644.28		CRUISE::NDC		`Fri Jul 07 1989 12:10`	9
	It is with great sorrow that I add Shelby's name to the Silver Lining Memorial list. His is the third new name since I returned from vacation on Wednesday. Since part of the gift will be going to the Robert Winn Foundation, perhaps the gift given in memory of Shelby will help discover a cure for the disease which claimed his life. If there is anything else I can do please let me know. Nancy DC
2644.29	Our hearts are hurting with you...	CPDW::MCDONOUGH		`Fri Jul 07 1989 14:09`	10
	I just got in and saw this.. There's nothing that anyone can say at a time like this that will stop the pain. Shelby lived his short life in a happy, safe, loved environment, and he's with all of our departed babies now. Gain comfort from your care for him and others, Roberta. He CANNOT be "replaced", since he is still alive in your heart. But I know he will approve of a "newcomer" the same as my little girl who left me last month...and the new baby will need you just as much... With tears.... John and Julie McD
2644.30	Our deepest sympathies	GENRAL::BALDRIDGE	Now it's Summer!!!	`Fri Jul 07 1989 15:55`	7
	Roberta, our sympathies go out to you. Just catching up on notes after returning from vacation. Our sympathies to the other noter about Peppermint, too Chuck & Jane
2644.31		JULIET::APODACA_KI	Dead Dogs Don't Bark	`Fri Jul 07 1989 23:59`	4
	My condolensces go out to both noters who lost their cats....if I lost any of my four, I would be devestated. kim (ashley, freeway, bones, BT and the rest)
2644.32		IAMOK::GERRY	Home is where the Cat is	`Mon Jul 10 1989 13:24`	11
	Robeta, What a sad thing to read just getting back from vacation. I know how you feel, and the hurt really does go away. You will never be able to replace Shelby, it isn't possible to replace any living thing, but just take peace in knowing that you gave Shelby the best possible life... I really know how you feel, cin
2644.33		AIMHI::OFFEN		`Mon Jul 10 1989 15:41`	6
	My heartfelt sympathies are with you too. There is nothing I can say that hasn't already been said so just ditto me too. Sandi (Mom to Lightning, DejaVu & Thunder)