Conference misery::feline_v1

    Why does he want the cats?  Have you ever asked him if he would
    be willing to have you help find them a home, someone that would
    really care for them?  How good a friend is he?  Can you tell him
    what you really think without causing a problem?  If he is willing
    to have to do all the work for the care of the kitten, why would
    he want it back?  It sounds like he doesn't want the cats.  Maybe
    you could talk to him further about it, being more direct about
    his wanting or not wanting the cats.  If he wants the cats, then
    you can't make him be responsible for the care he does or doesn't
    want to give the cats.  He really should decide, since his son
    is allergic, to give the cats a chance at better care.  I find it
    hard to believe that he has turned out declawed cats.  It sounds
    very heartless.   If you value the friendship, there is only so
    much you can do.  He may be relieved if you offer to find the cats
    good homes.  If he doesn't want to give the cats away to someone
    who could give them better homes, but doesn't want to care for them
    himself, then you have a real problem, because that just doesn't
    make any sense.  See if you can have a heart-to-heart with him first.
    If that doesn't work you may have to decide between friendship and
    the correct care of the kittens.  Maybe the MSCPA can offer good
    suggestions.
    
    Karen
    

    I agree that this guy shouldn't have cats and it seems to me that
    if you keep this kitten from him he'll probably just go out and
    get another kitten.  So this won't solve anything.  I can't under-
    stand why he would get a kitten for a 5 yr old when he knows that
    there's an allergic child in the house.  That seems pretty stupid
    to me.  
      As an alternative, perhaps you could suggest that the 5 yr old
    come visit your cats and help you feed them etc so that the child
    isn't denied "having" a cat and they cats are well cared for.
      Good luck.
       Nancy DC
    

    Why don't you befriend the outdoor cats and maybe they'll stay away
    from this insensitive person.
    
    As far as taking the cat away from the young child, it's not really
    your right, I don't think, even if it's in the best interest of
    the animal, because this guy would probably sue you or something.
    
    Tammi and Bear
    

    My question is, as I believe .1 said, how good a friend is this
    guy?  I hate notes like this; they make my blood pressure rise to
    the boiling point.
    
    Try to convince him that the outdoor only cats deserve a better
    life than he is giving them as does the kitten.  If that doesn't
    work, then take Tammy's advice and make new friends (and get the
    authorities involved).
    

    I've tried talking to this guy.  I became friendly with he and his wife
    when I joined the group I work with a year ago.  We're sort of friendly
    outside of work, but on a casual basis.  I've told him he shouldn't own 
    a cat when I found out about the declawed ones being outside.  He said
    they still have their back claws and can climb trees.  I think we all
    have the same feelings/opinions on that one.  When he got this kitten
    (named Alvin), I told him I couldn't believe he did it.  All this makes
    my blood pressure rise also.  I thought about going to the MSPCA, but
    when I met the first two cats, they really didn't "look" abused.  They
    acutally looked happy, except they wanted more attention than the
    owners are willing to give.  I guess it's not physical abuse, but abuse
    non-the-less.  I've thought about trying to find homes for his cats,
    but that's not easy and as I said, I can't have anymore.  I've thought
    about my neighbors who just lost a cat to leukemia, but right now they
    don't want another cat (they have one left and plan on getting a dog).  
    I'll see what I can come up with and will have a good talk with my
    friend.  His son is really attached to this kitten and I really don't
    want to upset him.  It's not his fault.  The Friends of Animals lady is
    also sending me some info that I'll pass along.  Maybe (I hope) it will
    knock some sense into his head.  
    
    Thanks for your comments.  I'll keep you posted through this note.  I
    should have the FoA certificate in a couple of days... maybe the vet
    will have some suggestions also.
    
    One quick question.. if the kitten needs additional shots, are there
    any vets around that give a "discount" for this type of situation?  I'd
    be willing to go to Tufts or Angell.
    
    Mary
    
    

    Will talking to the wife help the situation any?  I really get mad
    about these types of situations because these people are teaching
    their kids that it is okay to let the cats outside to fend for them-
    selves, and that it is okay to let a female cat run around unspayed,
    and that it is okay to declaw your cat, and then turn it outside.
    
    We had a similar situation in our neighborhood, but I didn't know
    the family.  Their cat was having her fourth litter in my other
    neighbors garage, and the owners couldn't care less.  They refused
    to spay her.  The good neighbors decided to adopt her, and to have
    her spayed.  She has been inside only for the last 8 weeks, and
    as soon as Freeway (it's his foster mom I am talking about) is weaned,
    she will be spayed.  This was different than your situation since
    these people weren't our friends.
    
    There has got to be some way to get through to them about what message
    they are giving their kids, but I sure can't think of any ways right
    now.
    
    Jo

    I agree with Jo!  Once again, another "stray" cat has found my home,
    a beautiful jet-black, long haired, "intact" male.  Once again,
    I am stuck cleaning up someone else's mess.  This cat is very loving,
    no more than 8 or 9 months old, out in all sorts of inclement weather,
    hungry, and in great need of human companionship.  He is there because
    some insensitive clod obviously moved away and left him there, typical
    of life in a condominium development (I have asked around; he has
    no home).  He is friendly, loving, and doesn't yowl, all he wants
    is to come inside and be part of a family again.  Where do we draw
    the line?
    
    Parents should set a good example for their children where animal
    welfare is concerned!  Why does the man in .0 keep getting cats
    if his child is severly allergic?  It *is* considered cruelty if
    he never feeds them.  I can't believe those cats are happy outside
    fending for themselves!
    
    Sorry to the author of .0; I know you are just as concerned as we
    are and want to "right" the situation.  Wish there was some way
    to talk some sense into this man!!
    
    
    /Roberta (who has smoke coming out of her ears)
                              

    Roberta-
    
    At one time I thought I saw you mention you were from Grafton. 
    Well I was wondering, because momma kitty has had 3 black long haired
    kitties (note 2470).  THey are in grafton (off rt 140) next to
    the flea market. Well anyway, it sounds like the father might have 
    adopted you....
                  
    Michele _who_is_sick_of_placing_other(irresponsible)_peoples_kittens

    Well, I think I have some good news.  My friend just stopped by my
    office and told me that he and his wife will plan on finding families
    for their kitties.  We'll get the kitten spayed anyway, because it will
    be easier to find her a home then.  My supervisor has seen this cat and
    said it's real scruffy looking, so she may also need a bath.  Thank
    goodness I'm used to giving kitties a bath.  I even have "flea mousse"
    (no ordinary shampoo for my babies :) ) so it will get de-flea'd at
    the same time.  This will, of course, have to be done before it's
    spayed so the vet won't have to do it.
    
    At least there's a happy ending to this.  I must say I feel a lot
    better since he told me this.  I guess my telling him often enough that
    he wasn't a responsible pet owner and should have pets finally sunk in. 
    At least hope it did and they really do plan on finding homes.
    
    By the way... on a different note.  I've had my Barney 7 years today.
    Gonezo celebrated his 7th anniversary with me on the 10th.  
    
    Mary
    

    Michele - I live in North Grafton which is on the other side of
    the flea market (closer to Millbury and Worcester).  Are you familiar
    with the Falls at Lordvale Townhouse Development?
    
    I wouldn't doubt for a minute that a tomcat could cover that much
    territory looking for a mate.  There is a woman across the street
    from me who has an unspayed female because "she wants her kitty
    to stay natural."  Fortunately, Cookie is an indoor only cat and
    try as I might to convince her owner otherwise, she doesn't believe
    in altering pets.  Drives me absolutely crazy!  She even had the
    gall to ask me if Chauncey was neutered because she wanted a mate
    for Cookie.
    
    I call the black cat who has befriended us "Midnight Stranger."
    Midnight for his jet black coat, and Stranger for showing up
    unannounced!  A good friend of mine thought up the name and it is
    fitting because I only see him late at night.
    
    /Roberta
    

    re: .10   A friend of mine and fellow cat lover told me about a
    couple that they have as friends.  These folks are into "natural"
    to a ridiculous degree.  They wouldn't spay their indoor female
    either and no amount of talking by Mark would convince them.
    Well, the cat developed a hair loss problem that looked like
    "the mange" in dogs.  The vet told them that it was due to the
    wild hormone fluxuations that the cat went through because
    she was in-tact and not breeding.  I think they finally got
    her spayed!  
       So these folks that think they're doing their cats some big favor
    by keeping them natural are full of it!  They do more harm to the
    cat via these hormonal stresses!  plus intact female cats are
    more prone to certain types of cancer. 
      I have a booklet  "Why Spay or Neuter your Pet".  I have
    extra copies.  If you'd like one to show your "friends" who
    believe that they shouldn't neuter their pets, just send me
    some mail.  I'll be happy to send a copy.
      Nancy DC
    
    

    Roberta-
    
    I looked at an appartment in North Grafton, but I am not familiar
    with your development.  In a way it's funny that you had mentioned
    this tom because I thought the father was an orange tiger.....
    (shorthaired)..... Unless it's possible for that combination to
    make black longhaired babies?  
    
    BTW, I like the name Midnight Stranger......
    
    M

    
    	Michele, Roberta lives kindof between me and Campanale's, 
    	so I doubt it's the same cat. He'd have to go past Stuarts,
    	past the rotary, and down 140 to get to Terry's.... 
    

    re. 0
    
    Glad to hear that this guy is looking into finding homes for the
    cats.  I just hope that the explanation given to his son is in
    the area of doing the best thing for the cats and the son, and not
    that they don't want to be bothered with the responsibility.
    
    But we can't live other people's lives...............
    
    Glad this is heading toward a better ending.......
    karen