Conference misery::feline_v1

    
    
       Congratulations :^)
    
       and i LOVE that name ...........
    
                                                       kim

    
    
     	hee hee..
    
    	sounds like a cutie!!
    
    	JJ
    

    Congratulations!!!   What a lucky little mothball.  I'm sure
    s/he will bring you lots of joy---and aggravation, and worry--
    but they're WORTH IT!  
    
    Karen -- looking forward to lots of notes re: the antics of mothball!
    

    
    
    Congratulations from me too!  Did that visiting stray ever come
    back for a another visit?  
    
    Karen

    NO,i tink i got scared of water and soap!
    no worries though,he will live!!!!!!
    phil

    So what does this mothball look like?  Must be white, eh?
    Glad you found another little furface to share your life.
    We can look forward to more stories!!
    
    
    gonna keep this one in, right Phil.......:-)
    
      Nancy DC
    

    well,if any little things start growing around its
    rear end, then 9 months or not its down to the vet!
    
    there are no real stories at the moment cos its only about
    7 weeks old and still a bit docile, but it can manage to fall down
    the stairs ok and get a little way up the dovet before paniking
    and screeming its head off.
    
    i think it will  start off like maz, under the duvet sleeping
    and waking up early, no toe biting,yet,but its good with the occasional
    claw up the nose at 6.00 am.    
    
    its more black than white, so dont ask me about the name!
    
    see you later
    
    phil

    
    
    
    My older cat does that!!
    
    The old claw you in the mouth and nose wake up and pat me fun stuff!
    
    F.

    
    
    Congratulations on your new furface!  Great name. Sounds like he/she
    will be quite the handful.  Looking forward to *baby* stories.
    
    Roslyn, Escho and Brandy

    Congratulations!!  Glad  you found another purr pot to keep you
    company.  s/he sounds wonderful.
    
    Best of luck.
    
    Holly
    
    p.s.  I'm with Nancy, you're going to keep this one inside, right?
    

    ah comeon guys,
    
    How can i keep him/her inside all the time? 
    its bad enough trying to get it to get off the litter tray
    (yup,bad taste but its like a kid in a sandpit!)
    
    How will he learn to catch birds, mice, rats,cars,cycles,
    cycalists,,.....sorry, getting carried away!
    
    oh, 1st real story....
    
    having a bath last night with m.b. in the room when he went!
    dissapeared,gone,vammoosed.
    The thing is strange as the room is 2x2 so uless ive got a ghost
    cat im going mad.Anyway he had managed to find a small gap at the
    end of the bath and had crawled under the damm bath. I hate to think
    what it looked like with me naked, bending down under the bath,trying
    to coax this thing out with shouts of "oi,mothball,get out,chop
    chop."
    
    I think I got a deaf cat cos it took no notice whatsoever,until
    i got too cold and got dressed so guess who wobbled in,yup, good
    old m.b.
    
    what a waste of 20 mins.....
    
    phil 

    
    
    He's probably not deaf..
    
    When you feed him, call his name or "kitty noises" or whatever..
    everytime you feed him...
    
    Then when you go to call him, he'll come!!
    
    F.

    ITS A BOY!!!!(hands out cigars,has a drink etc...)
    
    M.B. is a tom, my vet friend gave him the once over and confirmed
    it, i hate to think what im in for now.
    
    I think calling his name when feeding would be a good idea, xcept
    that the cat needs to be away from you when feeding, m.b has this
    tendency to be waiting with the tin opener in paw and swigging out
    of a milk bottle when it comes to grub time.
    
    I had some friends round at the weekend, they went through the 
    normal "ahhhh, isnt he sweet, look at his cute face "etc etc,
    but after he had bitten them all at least once, laddered 1 pair
    of stockings ( well it seemed easier than jumping down) thay changed
    their opinions,it that why they have dogs i wonder????
    
    Im glad its a he,id hate to have a lively cat.......!!!
    
    phil

    Phil,
    
    Congratulations and GOOD FOR YOU!!!!
    
    Jill
    

    m.b. isn't deaf......he just has that incredible kitty ability to
    ignore (then aggravate)!!  Aren't they cute???  It's hard to be
    mad at their antics....but they are madding at times.  I'm sure
    m.b. will have many more stories to be shared here.
    
    KC (and Jasper-who-can-also-ignore/aggravate)
    

    Well,its time for you all to put your thinking hats on!
    M.B. is going to get a sparring partner in 3 weeks time from my
    little sis, whos cat has just had kittens and Ive decided to abdudct
    the loudest one.
    Its ginger,black, white, with almost latteral stripes (work that
    one out!!)
    
    So how about some suggestions as a name?
    
    I thought about confused, but i couldnt make my mind up.
     
    Waiting with baited breath.........
    
    Phil
    Please rewm my sence of humour!

    hmmmmmmmm.......since you say he/she is the loudest, how about
    names related to that characteristic.  For instance, the Dictionary
    defines loud and high instensity of sound.  So, you could name
    him/her "Hifi".  Or how about, L.M. for loud mouth.  
    There are probably many synonyms, but I can't think yet...brain
    is still asleep.
    
    Good luck with the new little squirt.  I'm sure M.B. will be very
    happy.  
    
    Karen
    

    Lesseee,  those stripes.....lateral you say?
    How about Sideways?  There's a lateral pass in
    Football, how about Football? Football and Mothball!
    
    Mary-Michael

    Football sounds like she should be kicked!..........  :->
     
    You could call her Banshee.  ( I like HIFI too)
      Nancy DC
    

    
    
    Well let's see...I'll whip out the ol' thesaurus...
    
    	we have hullaballoo, CATerwaul, din, hubbub, tintamarre...
    
    	have fun!!
    

    
    
    	Oh, they all mean LOUD...
    

    How 'bout Megaphone?
    
    Personally, I like Banshee!
    
    Jo

    
    
    I like Banshee too..
    
    or l.m. for loudmouth as someone else offered..
    
    F.

    
    	I got the following from my book "What to Name the Cat"
    	My favorite is Hoopla!           
    
    	Bedlam
        Brouhaha (fuss)
        Buttinsky (interrupter)
        Calamity Jane
    	Fanfaron (fanfare)
        Fracas
        Furor
        Gusto
        Hoopla (whats all the Hoopla about?)
        Know-it-All
        Meowzer
    	Razzmatazz
        Rumpus 
    	Smarty Pants
        Virago
    	Whizbang                               
    

    My loudmouth cat is named Mouth.
    
    Luckily, since he has gotten to trust me, he isn't as Mouthy anymore.
    
    	-Nancy

    gobstuck?
    
    Wade throught  that lot  phil my man!
    
    They are all great ideas, but i keep coming back to dustbin, dont
    ask me why, ive no idea!
    
    MB decided this morning that toothpaste tasted great! I put him
    on the shelf cos that seemed to be where he wanted to go and nextr
    thing he licking the paste! ha, i thought, we have a hygenic cat
    here! Im going to buy a junior brush for him today, might teach
    him to use the electric one ..........!!
    
    Phil

    Mocha gets up on the counter top every morning while I am brushing
    my teeth and if I forgot to put the tooth paste away immediately
    he licks the top of the dispenser. LOVES IT. Now if I could get him to
    brush his teeth ????????
    
    Phil let me know if you have any success.
    
    At the cats last check up the vet suggested I buy some liquid for
    brushing their teeth. Can be used with a brush or with a Q tip or
    cloth. My two must know it would be good for them as there is no way
    they will let me do it. BOY are those teeth sharp.!!!!!
    
    Barbara

    I'm having good luck cleaning Sweetie's teeth with those gauze c
    cat-o-dontics things I got from his vet.
    

    Garden fun last night.
    
    Enter one cat,meet one garden...
    
    O.K.so I can handle the concrete but wots all this green wet stuff?
    ( seems to me that Ive done this before!) It has got to be the funniest
    time with the cat. I just sit and watch the great adventurer sniffing
    around and around until the next doors cat jumps over the hedge.
    M.B.decides that this is his new mate and wobbles up to introduce
    himself,and the bigger one backs off!!! so the scene is set for
    the next 10 mins as one wobbles and one crabs around the garden!
    Laugh? I almost tried to find some more cats to join in!
    
    Anyway, the weekend is here so most of it will be in the garden
    I expect..... have a nice one all..
    
    Phil
    

    
    
    That was cute!!!
    
    F.

    Cute story.........sounds like m.b. has learned very quickly the
    kitty rules of mastering the master.
    
    kc
    

    
    
    have you gotten him his new friend yet?
    
    F.

    Not quite old enough yet....couple more weeks...z

IT BIT MY M.B..........
    
    that dirty cat next door bit my cat,right on the back leg,
    I'M gonna get it tonight,hose pipe at the ready, with M.B.
    on my shoulder we are gonna lie in wait behind the coal bunker
    till it trys running through the garden and then,.. KAPOW!
    its gonna need waterwings, that dirty cat....
    
    What a brave thing to do,it was a bit like mike tyson attacking
    ronald ragan,but have no fear dear reader,what mothball lacks
    in weight, he makes up with cunning (witha little help granted..but
    it was his idea, honest)
    
    Keep yer posted...
    Phil

    
    
    I don't mean to be forward or anything..
    
    But has little M.B. had his rabies!!
    
    If that cat next door bit through the skin, you may want to
    hop him over to the vets...
    
    From all these stories, I'm in love with little M.B.!!
    
    F.

    I would worry about an abscess forming.  I'd take mb to the vet also.
    He will probably want to put him on antibiotics as a precaution.  If
    you don't take mb to the vet, do keep an eye on the leg to see
    if an abscess has formed; you may want to touch the area gently after it
    looks like it has healed -- if there's an abcess underneath mb
    won't like the touch.  But, I would take him to the vet, abscesses
    are better prevented than treated.
    

    Re .36, I think mothball lives in ENgland, which is rabies-free.
    But I agree with Karen, watch out for absesses (nowhere is absess-free,
    not even New Zealand!).
    
    Shayne (NZ)

    this may be a dumb question...but....
    
    how is it that england can be rabies free?  i mean, yes, it's on
    an island, but--how do they know a carrier isn't around?  no reported
    cases?  not the right kind of wildlife?  
    
    just curious
    
    kim

    The U.K. has very strict laws concerning importation of animals.  There
    is a mandatory 6 month quarantine.  They managed to erradicate rabies
    some years ago and have yet to report a case since.
    
    Now, once that tunnel opens, who knows....
    
    Mary

    Weve only had one outbreak,back in the 50's,and that was a fox or
    something,so they killed all the Foxes they could,along with rabbits
    etc.
    Being a small island helps,but that damm tunnel.......
    
    We got him,that dirty cat!
    
    Over the fence he came,looking sooo smug, and than we made our move,
    very slowly,MB.with the hose between his teeth(not really,but it
    sounds good...)and myself in full combat gear,face blackened,and
    M.B.in his S.W.A.T. gear,we waited for the right moment,aware that
    he may have a back-up squad, but non could be seen so we edged around
    the  coal bunker,lined up the heat seeking hose and looked for the
    white of his eyes and then.........ZAMMOOOOOOO!!!!! we had him,
    full on,that dirty cat met his waterloo(get it?..oh never mind..)
    over the fence he went,across the next fence, and the next,and the
    next................last seen heading for deep south...
    
    M.B. was estatic,the neigbs were unsettled with the shouts,my visiting
    freind was amazed,he was locked in the house while this was going
    on,and I was drenched,I'd dropped the hose and it turned on me.
    
    What a day,M.B.has decided to get a M15 for future sersonnel protection
    with dumb-dumbs,and we celebrated with a bar-b-q.
    
    Phil
    P.S.no,his leg is a-ok.

    Lets hear it for "CAT-BO" ... get it...like Rambo.  ;-)
     
      You taught that ol' stray a lesson, eh?!

    Took M.B. out in the car last night,It went really well
    except you get some really wierd looks driving around with a cat
    on your shoulder.........
    
    

    Its not the cat, Phil, its cause you guys all drive on the wrong
    side of the road!    :-}

    HA,Ha,ha, a.
    Who said I was driving?
    
    :-)
    
    Philfs
    

    Its getting close to new kitten time and I'M gonna
    decide on the name right now. and its gonna be.......
    
    Loudmouth,   L.M.  +  M.B.  Thanxs for the idea..
    
    I think that will suit him really well ( it I should have said)
    but he wont be joining till after I come back from holiday-3 weeks
    -
    
    M.B.has got to stay with my sister who's got the kittens while I
    am away so with any luck he can introduce himself at the same time,
    being small I dont think he will prove to be a threat to the mother,
    but my sis is bright enough to keep an eye on him anyway.
                                                     
    Hes a bit of an under-carpet cat at the moment,I've got a shaggy
    carpet in the bedroom and he is spending alot of time trying to
    hide under it,pretty dumm if you ask me but he wont listen to reason,
    it looks like the old Tom and jerry cartoons,dashing up and down
    like a demented mole...I'M sure he's not all there sometimes,the
    lights are on but no-ones at home syndrome.
    
    Nancy,whats your add at work? I'LL pop the photo in of Maz if you
    would still like a copy along with a card from deepest Turkey,yes
    I know but someones got to holiday there!
    
                                     
    Bi all
    
    Phil.
    
    P.S. Tammi,love them BEAR stories,M.B. and him should get together!!

    My mail stop is MRO3-1/N17  (Nancy Diettrich-Cunniff) and I LOVE
    to see kitty pictures!  I'll also send some your way if you like
    of my crew.
      Thanks
       Nancy DC
    

    hmmmmmmmm...sounds like m.b. should be nicknamed "dustbin".
    
    Now, Phil, don't get all huffy.....not calling your house dusty.......
    that's all i could think of with m.b. under the rug.  Guess that
    says a lot about my own rugs!!!!!!!!!!!
    
    Going to TURKEY you say?  Looking forward to turkey-related stories
    when you return.  have a great time.
    Karen
    
                  
    

    Dustbin? good idea! He eats just about anything!
    
    I think the only Turkey-related stories will be,ouch,my head hurts!
    They have some real powerful local brews and I'M a bit prone to
    party,partying, if you know what I mean.
    
    Now for a real cryptic message.......
    
    "HEY,T,WHEN YOU WAKE UP,REMEMBER I'LL BE AT LUNCH,AND THATS SOME
    ACCENT!"
                                               
    
    
                        @ @
                        . .
                         .
                         U

    Phil:
    
    If it's got stripes, how about "Jailbait", JB for short?
    
    I'm giving Bear a bath tonight (first time in a month) and I can
    only imagine how he's going to go wild on me.  He looks like a 
    drowned rat when he's wet and then when I blow dry him with the
    dryer he looks like a big black powderpuff!
    
    Your stories are great, Mr. Shakespeare!
    
    Tammi and Bear
    
    

    What do you mean -- the Boston accent is too hard to understand?
    I thought we were supposed to sound more like you Brits with the
    "R"'s, (as in Pahk the Cah!).
    
    You better write something about your adventures in Turkey because
    we're all here, waiting with baited breath for new stories (I've
    run out of Bear stories at the moment, too exhausted mentally from
    "the big move"!
    
    T
    

    Yes, do wrie some Turkey stories.  Do I envy you!
    

    Well..........I also envy the trip, but you can keep the aching
    head.                           |
                                    |
                                    |
                                    V
                     Right now I'd go anywhere.  And, since I live
                     in Massachusetts, Rhode Island would do!!!!!!
     
    
    Like your choice of name......loudmouth......since I suggested it!
    What a lucky little guy/gal "it" is.   I'm sure M.B. will really
    miss you...........so will we here in the notes file.  
    
    Have a blast.......but don't get lost (some night during a really
    wild party)
    
    KC
    
    

    Cheers for the name KC,I'll let him/her know when its a bit older!
    
    Turkey is no big deal from here,Its still a bit unexplored by our
    standards but if I get the timing just right the travelling should
    go like this.
    Leave home 0000hrs,get to airport 0100am,fly at 0200am,arrive at
    0530am(local time 0730am) have breakfast and hit the beach by 9.00am!
    
    I went there in Feb.for a couple of weeks to the same place,I'M
    staying with a friend so its cheaper! It's not a very big place
    but the beech is out of this world.My friend phoned up last night
    and tells me its 120f!! ouch,sunburn city here we come!
    
    I caught M.B. doing his packing last night,I've already told him
    that he cannot go but low and behold,passport,shades,cream,and
    travellerschecks were all going in his case ready to go.
    Still in a huff when I left today.............
    
    Phil

    We had another quiet weekend.........
    
    Nothing out of the ordinary happened,the only thing that
    raised a smile was when a friend phoned up and I was sitting
    on the living room floor,and M.B.charged through and attacked
    a slipper,he ended-up with his head inside(which can't have been
    very pleasant!)and his bum sticking out of the other,well,it made
    me smile......
    
    or....
    
    sitting in the chair with M.B.on the back of the chair,when in a
    nice quiet piece of the film,a muffled "mmiow.."and he fell off,
    the look of supprise was amusing....
    
    perhaps...
    
    waking up @ 5.00am cos he's got under the duvet and I've rolled
    on him,well,it would help if he let me know his plans.......
                                                                
    
    Phil

    Phil, thanks for the smile.  I am GROUCHY today!!!! But stories
    of little m.b. get through the haze of grouchiness.  
    
    My little fur face, Jasper, got stung by a great big mean bee
    yesterday.  I felt so bad for him, but it was an inevitable happening.
    He has been harrassing the bees for many days now.  He did the usual 
    kitty crouch, waving bum routine, and then pounce, bee is stunned, and 
    under paw (for a few seconds anyway).  Well at that precise moment Mr.
    Bee wound up his bum, and stabbed my little kitty's paw with his great 
    big stinger.  The battle ended with Mr. Bee hitting the dirt and
    Jasper waving his wounded paw in the air.  He's so brave as he never 
    uttered a sound. But the actions spoke louder than words.  He licked
    and licked and licked that little paw pad (I tried to get a look at
    the wound but he preferred his own first aid to anything I might have
    had in mind.  At this point his pride was wounded beyond repair.
    After all the commotion we never did locate Mr. Bee.  He probably went 
    down smiling that he had inflicted his last stinging blow with such
    success.
    
    After many days of "playing" chase with the bees my little guy met
    his match!   He recovered rather quickly after the healing licks.
    Only limped for a few minutes thereafter.  But I think his big macho
    pride was damaged beyond repair for the rest of the day.  He wouldn't
    go out after that and was grouchier than I could even think of being.
    Sometimes kitty lessons are hard to handle!!                           
                          
    p.s. He's mostly an indoor cat (goes out with a leash), so he's
    in the process of discovering the great outdoors of the back yard.
    Sometimes he drives us nuts because he wants to go out so bad (he
    goes to each of us, meowing, rolling, trying to be a cute but as
    firm as possible, hoping that one of us will get the message and
    weaken by taking him out.  So when one of us does weaken, we go
    through the routine of hitching up the harness, attaching the nuisance
    leash (it won't quit following him), open the door, and he just
    stands there.  So we start calling him, "come on, Jasper, let's go
    out......COME ON, JASPER, YOU WANTED TO GO OUT!!".....he just sits
    there.....frustration sets in and we pick him up and plunk him outside
    the door.  Then he acts like it was his idea in the first place,
    and prances around the yard like he's KING.  So he does macho
    things like harrassing the bees, and other very tiny bugs.  Black
    ants are lots of fun.  They don't hurt and they move really fast,
    especially when the pressure of a little kitty paw comes crashing
    down on them.  So, it can be a very fun experience being KING of
    the back yard.  But like all experiences, it has it's limits.  And
    when mom says it time to go in, he doesn't get to argue.....too
    much.
    
    Have a nice day,
    
    KC (the grouch, mother of the bigger grouch)
    
    

    GooD'ay,
    
    There is one thing I'm interested in asking and it is definatley
    no an insult,just a question ok?
    
    Do all americans have "indoor cats?" I would not dream of keeping
    my cats indoors all the time and I could'nt see myself taking them
    for a walk. Just open the back-door and kick em out!
    
    Philfs
    
    
    
    

    :-)   re: do all americans have indoor cats...HARDLY!
    
    If you look through this notesfile you'll find that the INDOOR/
    OUTDOOR issue is a very hot topic.  There are folks like myself
    who believe that the dangers in the outside world are too high
    a risk and we keep our cats indoors- or use leashes.  (I told
    you about the loss of my first cat)  Then there are others who
    feel that cats should go outside.  Everyone has to decide
    whether the risks outweight the benefits or vice versa.  There
    was even one noter who called all of us "indoor" folks cruel.
      So you can see that there's a full range of opinions over
    here on that issue.  
      I think that the environment here is quite different than
    in England.  For one thing - there's a rabies danger in this
    country that doesn't exist in England.  We also have an abol-
    utely HORRENDOUS pet overpopulation problem.  So there's alot
    of factors involved with the issue.
      I think that as long as you supervise MB when he's out he
    is probably pretty safe.  
      Good luck
       Nancy DC

  Phil:
    
    The reason that most americans have indoor cats is because most
    of us live in the suburbs or cities where everything is so 
    over-developed and there's so much traffic and dangers to a 
    cat that it is preferred to keep them indoor.
    
    Terri's first cat, Mittoo, was killed last year by a motocycle,
    when they lived in alexandria, VA, Mimi was an indoor cat but
    when they moved to Lake Ridge, she was allowed outdoors and 
    look what happened.  It might seem cruel, but you'll see what
    I mean when you come to the States.
    
    Tam
    
    

    Hi Phil,
    
    I have really WRESTLED with whether or not Jasper should be indoor
    only, outdoors on his own, or outdoors on a leash.  I was raised
    with a cat that was killed by a car.  It was heartbreaking.  We
    live very close to a street where the average speed is 50 mph (doesn't
    matter that the speed limit 35 mph).  I feel bad for
    him when he sits and looks longingly at the great outdoors, but
    I love him toooooooo much to lose him prematurely to a big, bad
    car tire.  At first I was afraid to take him out on a leash, but
    he does enjoy it.  I thought it would be creating a problem with
    him trying to scoot out when we go near a door (we have learned to
    ignore he pleas).  I'm hoping that in time he will 
    learn that that is the only way he can go out.  Each time I begin to 
    weaken and feel really bad that he can't do as he wishes, go where he 
    wants,etc., I see a beautiful cat dead in the road.  At those times,
    I'm truly glad I have made the decision that I have.  It's a pain
    not to be able to open the door at HIS will, but it's worth it to have
    him with us every day.  Besides being smooshed by a car, there is
    the added problem of them getting lost, etc.  I see signs up all
    the time of lost cats.  It's sad to lose a member of the family--
    and Jasper is definitely a MEMBER of the family.  He gets more
    attention than any of us.  I've seen a sign that says "This house
    is maintained entirely for the comfort and convenience of our cat!"
    Boy is that ever true!!!!!!!!
    
    When does vacation start?
    
    Have a nice day,
    
    Karen

    Ho,Ho,
    	In 48 hrs I'll be on the plane,off to the sun!!!!!
    AND,next month over to you lot,yup,Phil does the U.S.A.!!
    
    (saw the film too!)
    
    Phil

    ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh noooooooooooooooooooo.........what is Phil planning
    on doing to the U.S.A.?????????
    
    kc
    

    Lots of things........
    
    But,if I can fit it in,I may well spend some time with,now,
    whats her name.........AH,the lady of a" bear story!" :-)
    
    I thought I'd drop in on my friend george B.and see if old
    ronnie fancied a pint!
    
    AND THEN I'M GOING TO PARTY,PARTY,PARTY!!!!!!!!!
    
    Sorry, getting carried away again,its all these hols and the
    main reason I'm visiting I suppose.......
    
    Anybody fancy a party in the White house?
    
    PHIL_

    Isn't it just amazing how well these notes files work?
    
    Except, I don't think George and Barb drink, Phil!
    

    PHIL....What area of the US are you visiting!!!???  
      Nancy DC
    

    I think someone will correct me if I'm wrong,
    but I do believe its ......
    
    WASHINGTON D.C.
    
    Phil

    Actually, no, it's a beautiful little town called 
    Lake Ridge, Virginia!
    
    (and then all the usual touristy things like DC)
    
    Tam
    

    well,
    thats about it,im all packed and ready for the off..
    it knows im going somewhere,i normaly carry him around on
    my shoulder but last night he wouldnt get off!
    
    i packed up some kit for him to take to my sis.and no,im not
    going to make him walk there,ill give him the money for a cab just
    in case anyone thinx im cruel.... but he knows you know...
    
    i packed up my case and he was into everything! In went 40000 t-shirts
    and a toothbrush,looked for the rat, no can find...and yup, there
    he was,under everything so repack time!
    
    as you can see ive wound down completely,youll find no capitals
    here!!
    
    I've asked for a terminal so m.b.can put a few notes in,but no go,
    so thats it for a couple of weeks,no notes,no m.B.and no tat....
    (worked it out yet?)
    
    Poor little M.B.....An orphan already,never mind,he'll  be old enough
    for camp soon...............
    
    See you guys in a week or so.... I wont forget the card Nancy and
    if anyone else wants one you have 3.5 hrs to get the add.in here!!!
    
    HAVE A NICE DAY NOW YO'ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    
    PHILF

    .67
    
    See,i told you I'd be corrected,.....
    
    (Cats dont make you feel foolish,M.B.. youre coming with me bud!)

    BON VOYAGE........and all that stuff!!!!!!!!
    
    Write when you get back.
    
    kc
    
    
    

    re.23
    
    Hey Francine,you into AC/DC or something?

    WE MISS YOU!  This conference just isn't the same without you!
    
    Come back soon with LOTS of war stories!
    
    T
    

    I MISS PHIL!

    Nancy:
    
    D'you think we should get together and form a Philip Glover
    (and MB) Fan Club???!!!!
    
    He'll be back Sunday but it's not soon enough for me!
    
    Tammi and Bear (who_are_suffering_from_withdrawls!)
    

    Well, I don't know Tammi.  We don't want all this to go to
    their heads.
      N
    

    
    Tammi,
    
    I hope you DID get some pictures of Phil when he was visiting. I
    bet the time seemed to fly by.  But I must admit to being a tad
    jealous that you had him all to yourself.  Maybe on the next visit
    he could get together with us in the Northeast.  How 'bout it Phil,
    hmmmm??
    
    Roslyn
    
    P.S.  Nancy you're quite right, but I think we feliners can keep
    it from going to his head.  %^)

    Phil's in Turkey now with friends.  But he's coming to Washington
    in two weeks.    In the fall I'm sure he will be in touch with any
    one who's interested in seeing him, as he will be in a darts tournament
    in New England then (but you can bet your life I'll come home to
    New England to keep an eye on him, he's quite a handful!)
        
    Wish that he could stay over here forever, and I'm SURE the time
    will fly by -- he's only coming for two days (heavy sigh ...) this
    time.  I love this conference, and he's the one that told me about
    it!
    
    T
    

    Sooooooo..this has turned into a "Phil Glover Fan Club" note (but
    of course MB too)!!  I, too, miss the daily log in to read about 
    MB's any-cute-thing-according-to-Phil story.  But, Phil, when you
    come back and read all these notes of praise, remember this is a
    FELINE file, so MB ranks first (can't let all this get to his head--
    although his head is probably BIG enough right now with all the
    wide Turkey parties).
    
    Tami--just curious, how did you know the Englishman before Feline
    File?
    
    Karen
    

    I'll let Phil answer that question when he gets back -- it will
    keep you all in suspense ....
    
    Tammi
    

    
    
    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!  Rats! Poop!
    UGH! tap,tap,tap,tap(toe tapping)
    
    I HATE waiting almost as much as I dislike ticks!  ;^) 
    
    Phil hurry back! We miss you and MB!
    
    Roslyn and the furry gang

    re.79
    
    Thanks, Tami, you're a sport!!!!!!!!
    
    So, Phil, the pressures on YOU...............waiting for the answer,
    but wondering, will we be able to believe it?
    
    
    re. 80  -  ditto 
    
    kc (and the Jasper-the-grouch)
    

    Boy - this better be good  :-)

    Hic.....
    
    What on earth? I thought coming back to M.B.was good! xcept
    as i were too tired to play on sunday,and after he had experienced
    his 1st returning holiday bag smells...uugg...but has he grown!
    and the claws? well,talk about sharp! Sis said that he was o.k (haha)
    She sleeps with her cats under and on the bed,M.B.slept where he
    wanted and managed to upset everone from mother cat to the postman..
    I wont explain that as this is a family show.......!
    
    My head still hurts....
    
    Where did I meet Tam.......? Easy,we were both zapped up to this
    spaceship whilst watching Dynasty at the same time on other sides
    of the Atlantic,along with Falon of course, and had brain transplants.
    We then decided that we now were in line with each other and
    KERPOW,ZAP,that was it......simple really.
    
    have to go now,stomaches playing up still..
    
    Phil.;-(
            

    Don't let him kid you, it was "Dallas" not Dynasty!
    
    Tammi
    

    I knew I could count on a straight answer from you, Phil:-)
    
    Welcome back!!!!!!! Isn't it much better back at work than
    vacationing in Turkey??
    
    kc
    

    hohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohoho......k.c.!!!!!!
    cant fink of anywhere I'd rather be.:-(           
    
    Well then its back into the observations again and last night
    was a real mellow effort for cat and me,tried watching m/lighthing
    but decided that the player went on.
    
    O.K.lay back on sofa,cat on lap and mellow out to Tracey Chapman,
    this went down really well,m.b.just  rolled over onto his back with
    his little paws in the air and lolled his head over one leg,mine
    I mean!
    
    Then we went onto some blues with the same effect,by this time I
    dont think m.b. would have minded if the vet had came in and had
    a quick snip he was sooo mellow!! His little head was hanging over
    the sofa gently drifting to the sounds....
    
    Stevie Nixs?..Well,by this point his eyes were rolling slowley
    around,no he isnt a ganja freak...we were both so layed back.
    
    Unfortunatly,and this was real bad timing,Bat out of hell was next
    up and I really had forgotten,can you imagine what the 1st bars
    did to the cat? He shot up,looked at me,went for a toe with manic
    intent and shot up the stairs...
    
    Oh well,it was good while it lasted...
    
    PHil+shakey.
    

    Been soooooooooooooooooooooooo busy this week.........your
    description of mellowing out makes me want to chuck this
    stuff called work, go home and grab the cat, and recreate
    the scene.  Although, knowing Jasper-the-grouch, unless it
    was on his agenda, he'd meow, groan, moan, kick, squirm,
    and all that good kitty "let me go" stuff........then after
    having succeeded in getting away, he'd saunter away, head hung
    low, muttering to himself "damn, these people disturbing me when
    I was all comfy in my chair xnxnddkgrljthe!"  Then I get all
    dejected feeling..........and, wish I was back at work????
    NO WAY.  One can be mellow ALONE!
    
    

    I think I'm going to call M.B. Jasper the grouch after
    wednedsday night performances...
    
    Barry maguigan was fighting on the telly for a world contender
    bout, and I love to watch boxing, anyway,after speaking to T.A.T.
    on the phone I took it off the hook,closed the curtains,got my 4
    pack and settled in to watch with M.B.- now I think I should tell
    you that I get a bit excited(understatement!).
    
    M.B.lasted appx.5secs on my lap before deciding against a thump
    on his head every time a punch landed so he took refuge on the sofa..
    do you know what he did? FELL ASLEEP!How can you fall asleep?How?
    I was shouting at him,"did you see that,watch his head,etc,etc,"
    and all i got was a snore,my god,what sort of cat have I got here!!??
    
    At the end of the fight he woke up and sorta asked"wots all the
    fuss about"and jumped down and had some nosh,until that is football
    came on the telly,I hate to watch football but M.B.? LOVES IT!
    Avidly watching the ball going up and down from about 4" from the
    screen. The way he kept looking back I'm sure he was saying the
    same.....
    
    "did you see that,come on ref,thats was a foul, did you see that?"
    
    I got up and had some food....
    
    Phil

    Oh,uhmmm,how do I say this.......
    
    L.M.arrives tommorrow,I have this feeling its gonna be a long long
    weekend!!
    
    p

    I was just thinking,well its lunchtime so I7m allowed......
    
    When I got to Turkey,I spent 10 hours on a coach to a place called
    Bodrum,it was 5.00am and no-place to sleep so I slept in the street
    till 7.00 am when I found a bar open,quick wash and maybe a beer(well
    I was on holiday) till I found the other guys. When that was sorted 
    out we spent the day on a boat in 42C. Imagine a white, very white
    person suddenley hit with that heat. Result? Slept all day and got
    VERY sun-burnt,but in the evening we managed to find a good cure,
    a massive nightclub with very cold beer! WHOOPIE!
    
    Didnt manage to sleep cos the damm club just would not shut ( I
    know,what a shame!) So I spent the next day on this grotty little
    coach in the blazing sun heading towards Oludeniz,another 10 hours.
    It would have benn really bad, except this guy who was on the back
    seat kept moaning and then laughing,I kept thinking,I know i look
    rough,I know my foot is sticking out of the window but I really
    dont care, I'm dying so leave me alone. It wasnt till I ran out
    of coke that he said" dont you remember me?" I didnt know him from
    adam till he reminded me thet we where on the same table all night
    and his hangover was worse than mine!! All these turkish people
    and I have to run into the mad Irishman! So we spent the rest of
    the trip laughing about what we had done that night.
    
    I managed to find my friend in Oludeniz after about 4 hours,I didnt
    know where he was working so it was a bit hit or miss but when I
    did,WOW!,what a week....no sleep at night cos the clubs were open
    all night so I slept on the beech all day and didnt go brown,just
    black,nursing the normal hangover,and listening to the idiots who
    decided to lie on the sand instead of the beech-beds. Didnt anyone
    tell them that thats what they where there for? Save getting stung
    by the scorpions, oh well,they will remember next time.
    
    The only other thing I can remember is going on a 16km motorcycle
    ride across the mountains with this Turkish kamikasi rider,who seemed
    intent on killing us both,dressed in bermuda shorts,t-shirt and
    sunglasses and shouting all the Turkish I knew to get him to stop.
    Apart from that and not having the right ticket to get back to the
    UK and the 36 hours going home and food poisining and the mosquitos
    and the hangovers and watching a dog-shoot,IT WAS FUN!
    
    PHIL,i wont bore you with anymore stories,I'm not sure if I believe
    they happened anyyway!
        
    
    
    
    

    Your vacation here in the States will be much quiter and less eventful,
    I assure you -- crazy one!
    
    You might get bored, but at least I won't give you FOOD POISONING!
    
    Everyone:  He's been laid low by this mysterious illness!  He SAYS
    it's food poisoning, but if I didn't know him better, I'd SWEAR
    it was from partying too much!
    
    Tammi
    

    WOW!!  Sounds like the type of vacation I'd never want to take!!!!!
    
    And just think..............while you were be ********CRAZY*********
    little M.B. was missing ya, and having to deal with other furry
    little critters, (and one of them is now going to move into HIS house),
    new house rules, do's and don'ts and all that stuff, new furniture 
    (missing his favorite sleeping spot), etc., etc.,........are you
    feeling guilty yet?..........while you were sleeping on the beach,
    partying all night, eating and drinking all the *RIGHT* things,
    basically having the TIME of your life.......I know, shut up, Karen.
                       
    

    
    
    Phil-
    
    I always seem to get a 'tummy virus' the day after......maybe thats
    what you have  (tee hee)....
    
    Michele & Nippa
    

    Michele,
    
    That's it of course........but what a "virus" he's dealing with
    after ******* 3 weeks********* of "days after"!!!!
                                  
    You're not getting a whole lot of sympathy on this side of the
    ocean, are ya, Phil?
    
    KC
    
    

    
    HUH! TA MUCHLEY!!
    
    I dont care,I didnt get 1 kitten,I got 2!! Cats everywhere!!
    
    I'm gonna call it T.B. work that out!
    
    P

    Let's see.  T.B. hmmmm  Tough Boy?

    Hi Nancy,
    
    No, much too polite, I'm still trying to get over the fact
    that I've ended up with three of the little buggers,theyre everwhere,
    in the bed,on the bed,under the bed,everwhere I look theres a cat!
    Why did I do it? And ther is no mistaking the fact that ther are
    male.M.B. is for the snip this week,should I ask for bulk discount
    I wonder?
    I cant get over the fact that I'Ve got 3,I mean,what with M.B. and
    now them,its like an animal party all the time,mothball can jump
    on the telly ok,the kittens are small enough to get in any place
    they feel like,aaahhhhhhhhh......
    
    I tried sitting down last night and ended up with M.B.fighting them
    both for HIS seat,while they decided to sleep on the back of the
    chair,then on top of M.B.he hasnt got a clue whats going on now
    and quite frankly nor have I..................
    
    I feel sorry for the rest of my neigbs. now!
    
    P

    Thats it,I'm going home to my cats where,apart from the 
    rough and tumble and the mess and fights...
    
    I will be apprieciated (even though I cant spell it!!).....
    
    HUH!

         Well, Phil, I wouldn't count on being appreciated; I've got three
    little (? - 8lbs, 13lbs and 16lbsj) balls of fluff at home too, and they 
    don't always appreciate me ;-) ;-) ;-) !  Two tabbies (one orange, one 
    mackerel) and one angora make for interesting varieties and colors of fur 
    all over the sofa, chair, rug, ... , and they refuse to use the vacuum
    cleaner!
    
         How'd you end up with two more anyway?  Last I knew you were only
    going to get one more ??
    
         Don't worry, three definitely isn't a crowd.  Just watch out for
    the furry threesome ambushing the human "owner" ... 8*) !
    
                                              - Andrea
    

    THREE!!!!   I thought you only had two.  Oh boy are you in for
    a treat.  We're currently at FIVE.  Actually, I've found that 
    cats work best in even numbers. Guess you'll have to get another
    one Phil.
      Nancy DC
    

    Nancy:
    
    He's got a "surrogate cat" , Bear! so that makes 4!
    (And I'd tell you what the initials for the new one stands for,
    but I don't want everyone to lose respect for Phil!)
    
    Tammi
    

    Yawn,wot a night,does anyone else have this problem
    of three cats watching you have a bath? 1 is bad but three!
    Three wise monkeys all trying to work out what you are doing!
    
    Nancy,I ended up with three cos they are brothers and at the time
    it seemed a shame to split them up,huh,can you imagine wot 
    its like now? They get everywhere,and was it really me who said
    thet after Maz I never wanted another one!! M.B.sits on my 
    shoulder in the same way as Maz but the other two are trying to
    do the same,I'm going to end up like Tyson,Mind you, I'm on a course
    next week so My dear old mum can look after them,thats gonna be
    worth a story or two!!!!!!
    
    I should have taken a pic. last night,all three tring to use the
    tray at the same time,all trying to look coy but all looking really
    embarrased,think its time to get another!
    
    I spent a couple of hours in the garden last night,Tracey Chapman
    wafting into the night and the terrible trio running around sinffing
    and rolling around,the couple from next door came round and sat
    for a while,laughing most of the time,apart from the husband who
    kept looking at me and saying that he thought his kids were bad
    enough,I'd hate to be another cat in the area when these guys start
    mooching around the area together,I can imagine owners of other
    cats bringing loadsa kittens round saying"I think you may have
    something to do with this!"
    
    I'ts not easy for people to see me with cats when I'm 6"4!! Keep
    this file under your hats!!!
    
    P

    If you think its tough having them watch you bathe, you ought to
    try having them watch when you and your spouse are in bed 
    together - if you know what I mean (nudge nudge).  If they start
    holding up score cards I'm gonna lock them out :-)
    
     6' 4" eh?  Jack is 6' 5" (I'm 5' 2 1/2")!  Our last landlord used
    to call us Mutt & Jeff (comic strip charachters).
       Nancy DC

    Nancy:
    
    Yeah, we have the same problem!  Phil's 6'4" and I'm 5'2" myself!
    
    T
    

    The only real problem aside from trying to slow dance together is
    that jack will put the munchies up on top of the cabinets.  He just
    reaches up for them, I have to climb the cabinets - guess its sort
    of a diet.   :^)

    cant see the prob. with dancing,I'll pop Tam on my shoulders
    and away we go!!   :->
    

	Watching you?  That's no big deal?  I've had Chrysalis curl up
	against me and fall asleep, purring loudly!  I usually try not
	to jostle her when she's nuzzling, but I didn't worry about it 
	that time.  I guess she liked the good vibes ;-).

	Beverly

    We have a waterbed and Isis and Dundee have both been known to 
    "Ride the waves" during those sessions  ;-)
    

    I've decided that you are all warped!!!   :->
    
    I've never done anything like that so I'm not sure what youre
    talking about really.:-))))))))) My cats are clean living and pure
    of mind,besides,theyre too young too watch such things! I'm not
    sure if I could handle m.b.stopping the events with...
    "nonono,not like that,try this....."
    
    Anyway,who wants a cat on top of the wardrobe??
    
    P

    Better on top of the wardrobe than in the bed with you ;-)

    Nancy, can I identify with furfaces and waterbeds!  What's worse
    is when our ever funloving _commando_ pup wants to either join in
    the play by bopping us in the head or poking us with his nose ...
    He occassionally tries to rescue me.  Or the time I looked up to
    see Brandy looking down at me from the headboard, trying to swat
    me on the head. Kids! ;^>
    
    And Phil, just be thankful that they just WATCH you take a bath!
    
    Roslyn

    God my head hurts....
    
    I stayed at a friends place last night after consuming toooo much
    wobble juice,and after deciding that trying to do impressions of
    their cat was just abit too daft I crashed in the spare room.
    
    When I woke up(and yes feeling very poorly) I couldnt work out why
    my chest was feeling so tight.I chanced opening an eye to be confronted
    by their bloody great Burmese cat sitting on me.this thing is huge
    and  weighs a ton. The only sympathy I got from this thing was a
    samcking great wet lick across the face. I give up drinking,I left
    cricket early cos its too dangerous staying for *1*drink with them
    guys a look what happens,I meet friends who are looking after a
    pub  for a week!
    
    I think I'm dying,take care of my cats Lord....... but watch out
    for M.B. cos he got a good left hook..........
    
    Phil-who-should-know-better-by-now-
    

    I have a question,whats the history behind cats?
    Where did they evolve from or are they natural idiots?

    Why do you ask?  Did your's do something idiotic?  Everything
    Jasper does (which is usually eat, sleep and poop) is done with much 
    thought and displays much intelligence!  In fact, his highly
    intelligent look of disdain lets us know without a doubt that he
    thinks we humans are wacko -- or DAFT.  
      
    Fun working when feeling so poorly, huh Phil?
                       
    kc      
    

    Dear Mr God,
    
    I'm not dying now so I'll have my cats back, ta.
    
    Yup they did something dumm,One always falls off the chair,the other
    two might as well take a bucket and spade when on the tray,
    that sort of thing.
    
    y
    z
    

    That was the final straw..
    
    Lying in bed with 3 cats is not too bad,but when mr fall-off
    fell off the bed @ 2.00 am and screamed his head off the sympathy
    just didnt flow! I dont know what his problem is but really,falling
    off the bed? mb + lm + me all looked over the side at him looking
               
    around himself,wondering what was going on in life.
    
    He is going to the vets tonight for a built-in Parashute for softer
    landings....
    
    P

    There used to be a really stupid commercial on for a toilet
    paper called "Northern".  The little girl in the commercial
    stuffed her pants full of the stuff so she'd have padding
    when she went out to roller-skate.  Maybe you ought to do
    something similar for Mr. Fall-off!   :-DDD
      Nancy DC
    

    Oh,I remember what happened last night,we had a war in the
    living-room...
    
    It started out with the terrible twins,lm+tb having the normal hunt
    and destroy lark ,until tb had a go at m.b. He has decided that
    hes king anyway so when tb landed on him enough was enough.
    
    lm darted behind the sofa for the ambush,tb+ mb are hammering around
    the room,over goes my coffee,at which point lm sunk further behind
    the sofa. Remembering his swat training m.b.feinted a right turn,spun
    and clobbered tb with a cracker. 
    
    At this point little sneaky,lm,crawls out from behind the sofa for
    the ambush,without even a second thought he lept on m.b.and landed
    with 4 paws straight on his back and followed up with a nip to the
    neck. That was it,a mass of fur and claws going for it in a big
    way for the next 2 hours. Over the chairs,tables,flowerpots. Man
    wot a mess. I gave up and went in the garden and just listened to
    the noise. I do remember tb running into the window at one point,
    serves him right..........
    
    P
    
    PS.Its not Tammi Ann, its TAMARA!!!!

    going on a course this week,no notes for a while guys.
    
    bibi

    Wot! Again!!  Its not fair!!!  You're gonna have to make it up
    to us when you get back.
      Nancy DC

    HUm,that was an interesting week.......
    
    What do you get if you cross three playing in the garden
    and add a garden sprinkler??

     I'd say, wet cats or a dead sprinkler...

    close,very close!
    
    But not that close......!!
    
    1.  One climes up your legs and sits on shoulder,very wet and angry...
    2.  Other does backward somersaults trying to catch the spray as
    it flys past spitting and looking an idiot...
    
    3. M.B.went and got a wet suit.........plus tank....
    
    

    What do you do when.........
    
    You leave the house in the morning to go to work,and three cats
    attach to your leg and refuse to get off? I know I've been away
    alot but really........
    or..
    they all have to mark/spray on your one and only rose bush?
    or..
    all decide to ambush you at 6.00 am at the same time...
    or..
    all go off the same food at the same time..
    or
    dissapear behind the coal shed hunting and scream back inside the
    house house shouting "help help a mouse"
    
    Daft sods!

    I guess you just do the usual......big hugs and kisses!
    Does sound a bit like you're being TRAINED!
    
    kc

    UGGHHH! kissing my crew? Yuk!!
    
    They are developing one of the nastier habits at present,
    which is to see who can catch and eat the most crane flys,legs
    and all.M.B.has the upper hand at this but the grusome twosome
    must gain extra marks for effort. When lm catches one its always
    the same story,he runs up and down with this thing hanging out of
    his mouth, growling and leaping about as if hes won a meddle.
    They do it for hours on end,dirty little animals.
    
    One of the more amusing games is for one of them to hide in this
    sort of bush thing,its really dense with long green leaves shaped
    like spears.Dont ask me what it is cos I aint got a clue.Anyway,
    one crawls into it and hunts around making the leaves shake. Then
    one of the others will notice this and start stalking. Last night
    it was mb stalking with lm crawling around when KERPOW! in goes
    one and scares the other to death. This all results with lm jumpimg
    4ft up in the air and running up the nearest tree.....
    
    Makes me chuckle..

    Don't ya hate the 'crunch' of them bugs, Phil....
    
    Michele & Nippa_who_diet_consists_of_those_crunchy_snacks_
    

    Jasper doesn't really try too hard to catch the bugs.  He just sort
    of sits there watching them with great fascination, and occasionally
    reaches out with a big swat.  I think he enjoys tormenting them
    with anticipation!  And, that can be fun too.
    
    kc

    Bear and Tia are wimps - they're absolutely *petrified* of bugs!
    
    Tam
    

    Well,at least they do some good....
    
    trying to have a bath last night,but what with another sort
    of bug, massivus spiderus,lying in the bath I thought
    the pack could try a new game so I popped all three in the bath
    after it. 
    
    It stood no chance,the pack surrounded its quarry,sniffin' an' pawin'
    and leaping around until it moved,they all ran to the other end
    od the bath.......no chrunchin' and I still had to wash it down
    the plug 'ole!!
    
    P

    I HAD to put his in here,if just for me to remember...!!
    
    What with having alot of new kittens in the house the neibgs.kids
    come around alot to play with them which is ok most of the time,apart
    from last night when this snotty little boy came round and decided
    he wanted a monoploy on M.B. by picking him up all the time and
    not letting him go,well,this went on for a while with m.b. getting
    more and more annoyed and this kid getting louder and louder
    and even trying to run up and down the room with him!!
    
    After about 10 mins this kid stopped and tried flicking M.B on the
    ear,I was just about to clout "snotty" when M.B.looked at me and
    I swear this is true, seemed to say "dont worry,I can deal with
    this" and promtley sunk his teeth into snottys arm and them stuck
    all four paws into his other arm and used it as a spring board to
    jump off!!! Snotty was last seen running home to mommy and I didnt
    stop laughing for ages....sorry to be so vindictive but this was
    one obnoxious kid of about 11 who really learnt his lesson,even
    I wouldnt try that stunt with mb!!!!!
    
    PHil (who may lose some friends but dont mess wiv me cat bud!!)

    Now those are "just deserts"!  Glad to hear the cat won for a 
    change.   :-)
      Nancy DC
    
    p.s. Glad Mommy saw things M.B.'s way.
    

    Glad to hear these little guys have you under control!!!!
    
    p.s. This note is like the daily funnies.........with p.g. as the
    funniest...ha, ha!!!!!!
    
    Have a funny weekend with the "guys",
    
    kc
    

    
    
    	What do the other two initials stand for?  I know
    	MB is mothball but anyone (Phil?) want to enlighten me?
    
    	JJ
    

    L.M. is for loud mouth, but T.B. is a secret or we're supposed
    to guess.  I have an idea, but don't think I should write it here.
    Soooooooo, Phil, do you wish to enlighten us?
    
    karen
    

    Being the most orthadox scribbler in these ere files,and not one
    to stoop so low.....:-]
    
    YOU MUST BE JOKING!!!!
    
    It was designed for them days you just keep thinking about someone
    who is constantly bugging yer brain!!
    
    No... I only ever call tb-tb,never the full version!!!
    
    Oh,look,its 5.30,what a shame!
    
    BibI
    
    Phil

    mmmmmmm,got a sick cat.........
    
    I think that tb is probably suffering from an excess of food at
    the moment,he stuffed himself at the weekend and last night spent
    most of it throwing up in my shoe,well,you cant tell him off if
    hes sick,now can you?
    
    mb and lm are leaving him well alone,he's just been lying around
    the house looking really sorry for himself while the other 2 go
    mad as normal. lm has this habit of climing up the back of the sun
    bed and lying on the top bit. Unfortunatly for him hes getting a
    bit fat now so when he did it Sunday the whole thing just tipped
    over and dumped him in the flower bed.It didnt seem to upset him
    much cos he just went to sleep where he landed. I sometimes wish
    he would keep off the plants though,they are looking much the worse
    for wear especially as they all keep doing their business in the
    borders. It looks a bit like a load of kids have attacked it with
    buckets and spades.
    
    Thats all for today,It was a long weekend and I'm feeling a bit
    worse for wear,if you know what I mean........!!
    
    PJG

    very interesting night that.......
    
    well,i went to bed and it was still really muggy,yes, the uk has
    had some sun for a change so I didnt bother shutting any of the
    bedroom windows and the guys spent the time lounging in the back
    garden. all very peaceful so far eh?
    
    isnt life so peaceful at 1130pm and all was right with the world.....
    
    I woke up about 3 hours later absolutley derenched through,the duvet
    was soaked,and the pillow and everything else you can think of and
    yes,guess who had kept the dryest of all????? the three finks!!
    
    mb+lm+tb had the 1st experience of a storm so all of them had legged-it
    up the stairs and shot under the duvet.......the only thing I could
    see,apart from the rain running down my face,and inbetween the
    flashes,wasthree little heads poking out of MY duvet,all soaking
    wet,waiting for the windows to be shut and a change of sheets...!!
    
    I had the great task of having a shower,changing the duvet,sleeping
    on the floor,drying the rat-bags,all at 3.00am.............
    
    I love english weather,i love my cats,but i think i slowley going
    mad..............
    
    

    Rough night all around............
    I too had a rough night with the "little one" (thank God he's only 
    ONE-not THREE).  Everyone is away for the next week. I've been looking 
    forward to having Jasper-the-Grouch all to myself, having him shower
    me with all of his affection.  You see, when my daughter's home she's
    #1 in his book--I don't understand this because she does NOTHING for
    him...she doesn't feed him, take him out, clean the poop, etc., all
    she does is PLAY with him and he adores her......NO JUSTICE!  Anyway,
    he was playing around in my room most of the night..with the
    newspapers that were not so neatly placed on the floor before lights
    out, all of his favorite toys (things that were once mine but he
    somehow managed to confiscate) and MEOWING, for what I don't know.
    After being woken up 3 x's I was not so loving.  But he didn't
    care!!!!!!!  Still don't know what his problem was.  Then when it got 
    light out, and he was STARVING (poor baby), he slinked up beside me.
    When I opened my eye a crack he put on his most adorable "aren't I 
    sooooooo cute" act.  I tried to ignore, and not laugh, but it just
    wasn't worth the effort.  Feeding him was the only solution.  But the 
    thing that really KILLED me is when I'm getting ready for work,
    feeling rather poorly from lack of sleep, he's sprawled out on the
    bed, looking oh so comfy, in zzzzzzzzz land!!!! 
    
    This kind of attention I wasn't longing for.......
    
    kc
    
    p.s. Is TB ok now?
    
    

    all out on the hunt,minus one...........
    
    Ta for the inquiry,na,tb's still not that well.........
    
    Let me give you the picture;
    Our next door neigbs.are two old ladies who LOVE birds,they always
    put bread out for them,have little nesting boxes and even a swing!
    My rabble dont normally go in their garden,the fence is to high
    to start with and,well,they just dont seem to bother........anyway,
    I had managed to lock them out yesterday so when i got home and
    found tb in the outhouse I wondered where the other rats where.....
    normally you cant seperate them........
    
    I hunted high and low around the house to no avail so I tried outside
    again,1st one neigb. then the next until I thought of the old bids.next
    door. You can just see the garden on tip toe.....
    
    mb+lm were hiding behind the rockerie,peering over the top looking
    at all the little birds eating off the garden but completley mistifyied
    as to what to do......
    
    1st one head pops up,then another,then run 'round the side for a
    better look,then the idea is too look at each other for some sort
    of collective ideas,oh,then we pop our heads up again,and why not
    jog on the spot abit,no,no,we have to crouch some,na,daft idea I
    cant see now,(by which time the old ladies are looking out of the
    window watching as well,laughing I might add...).....
    
    This went on for ages and ages until mb had a brain storm.....
    
    ok,here we go short-stop,I've seen whats-his-name doing this on
    the telly,we use a rushing tactic,you go from the left flank,I'll
    go from the right and use your weight,ok? Listen to me boy.....
    (..this makes sence,lm must weigh about 5 ounces...)
    Yawn...
    
    The scene is set,the cats are ready and the play is made....
    
    result....?
    
    The old ladies are laughing so much they almost have heart-attacks,
    I'm holding onto the tree cos I cant stand up anymore,
    
    
    M.B.charges into the middle,the birds hop onto the bird table about
    10 secs before he gets anywhere near,lm skips,crabs,and finally
    falls onto the garden,picks up a bit of bread and proceeds to play
    with it.......
    
    mb was last seen trying to work out a new game plan.......
    
    
    p
    

    
    
    	re:  -1
    
    	heeheeheeheeheehee...
    
    	I love hearing about your trio phil...I think you could
        write a book.... "TB,MB,LM and Phil....The Three Musketeers
    	Plus One"
    
    	Thanks for the laughs...
    
    	(hope TB gets better soon)
    

    OHHHHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
    
    He's hitting our shores in exactly 1 week!  The US will never be
    the same!
    
    I'm sure that once he returns from his trip he'll have a lot of
    stories to tell to keep you all amused and entertained ....
    
    Yikes, I can't wait!
    
    Tammi
    

    Hmmmm, so, how long is he staying???
    
    Could this be the Mystery Guest coming to Holly's Party???
    
    cin...who's always curious when given a little lead!
    

    PARTY....!!!!!????????
    
    LEAD THE WAY......
    
    Holly,I've tried to send you a return mail,but I keep getting them
    sent back,I'll try sending a carrier cat.........
    
    P

    I've got him all to MYSELF!
    
    Three days isn't enough time for us to spend together, let alone
    driving 10 hours to a party in Massachusetts!
    
    Phil, Bear's getting all excited.  I told him you were coming next
    Friday.  He wishes MB, LM & TB could come too (but then there'd
    be 5 cats and a doberman destroying the house!).  Sue's going to
    have her hands full taking care of your "gang of three" while you're
    gone!
    
    Tammi
    

    Nancy,where have you gone????,,.......
    
    Whst is this facination with second hand socks.......?

    and so its continued..........
    
    I know weve had sock stories before but I find it the most mystifying
    activities that the crew get up to, I mean,I get used to seeing
    demented cats running at full pelt up and down the stairs,in the
    kitchen, bathroom,you know the scene,carrying anything from pieces
    of tissue paper to old twigs and each others tails...that I
    understand...
    BUT,why oh why would they want to go into my room,find the lastest,
    smelliest sock and then leg-it down the stairs,steam past me into
    the garden and all three attack it? This is no normal pong,were
    talking " sock crawls on its own!" smell.....uuggghhhh...
    They always have this demonic expression on their faces when they
    carry it........                                                 
    
    

    When my cats climb onto the fence,fall off and land in another garden
    and cant get back i concider them stupid...........
    
    

    Off we go,this is much more like it.......
    
    I keep my cats round the back of the house,theres more room and
    no roads to worrry about but I do have to be careful not to let
    them sneak out after me,its an on-going game but one I've been
    winning,until yesterday...
    
    All the boys were larking around in the garden,attacking each
    other,hiding in the bushes etc,etc.so I thought I was safe to go
    for a packet of B+H up tu'shops.....
    
    Sneaked a quick look at the rats,still playing,so very carefully open
    the back gate and what 'appens?....WHHHOOOOSSSSHHHHHH.!!!!!!
    OFF THEY GO,all three of the buggers off up the street,not 1 but
    three, all rampaging around like they had just been set free.....
    
    Have you any Idea wot its like trying to catch a bunch of demented
    crack-pots whos sole intention is creating as much havoc as felinly
    possible..? 
    
    LM made it to the wiero's garden and attacked a garden knome,knocking
    it over and busting its fishing rod,
    
    M.B.decided that dashing into someones open front door was more
    his style,wanted to inroduce himself I expect-and munch any spare
    food...
    
    tb,well this was the cracker,being the dozy thing he is,he was more
    than happy to spend his time running in the  road,crabbing,jumping,
    chasing  leafs, bumping into parked cars,finding  out that not all
     other cats were friendly or found him as cute as humans,but he
    was just as delighted when he discovered that cars do stop for him,
    and not only that the drivers didnt have a go at HIM..they shouted
    at dear old phil.......great game...
    
    We got them all back in the end,had to pay for a bloody knome though,
    all for a packet of cigs.......I'm giving up...
    

    I take it, everyone is healthy again, Phil.  Else it would have
    only been two off up the street!  
      Dundee got away from me over the weekend and thought it was
    the greatest of fun to run through the underbrush (which I can't
    get through) and keep crossing from our yard into the next door
    neighbor's yard and then back.  My only recourse was to keep
    running back and forth, jumping over the post & rail fence and
    trying to get close enough to him to grab him!
      The clincher was when he decided that he'd had enough of that
    game and just laid down on the grass while I made my last jump
    over the fence and dash into our yard.  I run up panting and huffing
    and he's just lounging in the grass!!!  Maybe he's been reading
    FELINE?
    
      re: 147 - I've been on vacation :-)  and regarding socks...they
    must like the smell cause our crew either sleeps in the piles of
    dirty close (sorted for washing) or steals various intimate articles
    for who knows what purposes.  And Isis tries to climb into Jack's
    armpits - especially after a long hot day :-)  
    
    Who knows how a cat's mind works...... ????????
      Nancy DC
    

    I've been up in the White Mountains of New Hampshire.  We had a
    WONDERFUL time.  Its been about 5 years since our last real vacation.
    We even took Dundee & Tymothee along.  they were great!  I love
    having my kitties along  :-)
    

    
    
    
    
    
           Mothballs is now closing,the cats are all fine and as mad
           as ever but crazy writing time over,see you all at some point,
                              bye bye...........
    
    
    

    
    Well,I've had a break for a while so lets see if this file
    can get a bit more imagination into it,shall we......??
    
    The rats are happy,the neibs.are nervous,and all the visiting
    tom cats are gibbering wrecks.....
    
    Oh,Fran has gone and got a couple of Flea-bags,but I expect she
    will tell you all about the knicker and bra draw episode....:->
    
    
    BUT....
    She got these cats yesterday,so the entire conversation has been
    of what the cats did next,watch this space......

    re: .156  That translates into about $50 U.S. Doesn't it Phil?
    
    BTW - We REALLY missed you at Holly's party.  I was particularly
    disappointed.  I heard Tami wouldn't share you :-)
      Nancy DC
    

    OK, at last some one has given me the space to talk about my cats
    as much as I want.
    
    I work with Phil, so he's heard all this before, and no doubt will
    make as many sarcastic comments as he can !!
    
    I have just become the proud owner of two beautiful  cats, Rusty
    and Lily, Rusty is a long haired tortosie shell and is 2 yrs old, Lily
    is  black and is 1 yr old.
    
    Having only had them for 48hrs we are all still getting used to
    each other, but so far they have had me in hysterics with the
    persistent noseness and playful antics.
    
    I won't bore you with all the details, unless you're interested,
    so come back to me on that ( any comment from you Phil will be
    ignored!!)
    
    I will, however, explain the Knicker draw incident.
    Basically, Lily was having a good old nose round this morning and
    I opened my Knicker drawer, of course she was straight there trying
    to have a look in. It was too high for her to reach from the ground,
    so you jumped on the bed and extended her front paws across to the
    edge of the drawer and peered in (she now looked like a bridge across
    the gap between the bed and drawer - if you know what I mean.)
    Anyway, I took out what I needed and proceeded to get dressed. 
    On returning from the bathroom I pushed shut my drawer, which I'd
    left opener. Needless to say after about five minutes I was wondering
    where Lily was, and also couldn't understand why Rusty was sitting
    staring up at the drawer. I'm sure you know what's coming next!
    Yep, I opened the drawer and there was Lily having a field day with
    a bra wrapped round her feet and a pair of knickers on her head!!
    Oh yea, and happily ripping holes in all my stockings!!
    
    Well, I thought it was funny.
    
    Fran  who_is_totally_smitten_with_her_kittens.
    

    
    My god,that must be one big cat to fit a pair of your knicks
    over its head:---->>>>
    
    Nancy,I'm sorry about the party too,but its along story,one I'll
    not go into now,but needless to say I missed going too.
    
    Fran litter-ally works 2 feet away from me,so we decided to share
    this file to put our comments in,she's got just about the same sence
    of humour as me,but expect more from her as she has a louder
    style,well,she'll nag if I put too much in...sorry Fran:-)
    
    I wont bor you with the story of the missing cats,SHALL I FRAN!!!!!!
    (how is the cooker now by the way!!!)
    
    
    
    The boys are out and out ratbags now,its been really hot over here
    for the past two weeks,and they have really grown fast,they are
    out doors most of the time,spending most of it in the road.
    I came home the day before yesterday and found them in the street.
    After running down to say hi,I tried to pick them up and take them
    in for some food,but oh no,they turned round and legged it pack
    up the street straight up two opposite trees. I really tried to
    get them down,honest,(:-)),but after finishing work I wasnT in the
    mood,so I went in and watched them from the window.
    They look like a couple of monkeys,tails high, leaping from branch
    to branch,much to the amusment of the old bids next door.
    Needless to say they returned when hungry,but they are a couple
    of buggers now,...but not for much longer hheheheh...

     
    Sorry Nancy,yeah that is about $50.00,I havent got a clue what
    shes going to get this lunchtime,probably little suits for them
    both...:->]
    
    Phil
    

    They didn't have their size Phil, so I'm taking them in on Saturday
    so they can be measured up!!
    
    Due to the fact that I met Geoff at lunchtime (the man I live with)
    I didn't have chance to spend much, so I just got a few chewys,
    oh yea and some of those room freshner things, y'know the type you
    can stick on, 'cos I have to admit the smell of cat food and the
    cat litter tray lingers pretty strong in a one bedroomed flat.
    So, I got one to stick on the side of the cat litter tray, one for
    above their food bowls and one to stick on each of their arses (that
    was Geoff's idea ! Afterall he did spent most of last night trying
    to sleep with their bottoms in his face !!)
    
    I was thinking about buying them a flea collar each, but I couldn't
    find a fur lined one so I didn't - I know you can get them so I'll
    have to carrying on looking.
    
    Fran.
    (only two and a half hours until I can home and check out the damage!)
    

    By the way Phil, the cooker is fine, we haven't bothered putting
    it back properly 'cos I never knew how to use it anyway!
    
    I still can't work out how Lils got behind it.
    If anyone can solve this puzzle for me then let me know..
    
       How does a year old cat, who is about a foot (12inches) long,
       and about 4/5 inches wide, manage to get caught behind the back
       of a cooker which is actually built into the kitchen units, with no
       more than an inch gap at the bottom.
    
       It took Geoff and I two frantic hours to actually find where
       she was, and then an other 2 to literally dismantle the unit
       remove the oven, and get her out.
    
    The cooker is still in various pieces on the kitchen floor, but
    at least Lils is safe!!
    
    Fran.
    
       than an inch gap at the bottom

    Fran:
    
    I can't figure it either, last night Bear got stuck in a tiny 
    drainage ditch thing and I spent an hour (with Zeus pulling on his
    leash trying to drag me around in the dirt) trying to get him out.
     He was screaming his head off and I finally used the leash to rope
    him up the drain.
    
    Tammi
    

    	What I can't understand is that if the little dears can get
    INTO these situations, how come they can't GET OUT of 'em! ;-)
    
    I think this is a deep PHILosophical question.
    
    Anne

    I have to agree with that Anne.
    I wonder if we actually left them to it whether they would find
    their own way out?
    I'm sure they just sit there and think "oh well I may as well save
    me energy 'cos I know one of those mugs will waste all their's trying
    to get me out!!
    
    Only this morning Lily got stuck behind the toilet, there is a built
    in unit behind our loo and there is a tiny gap in it behind the
    toilet. Lils was chasing a moth around the bathroom adn this moth
    flew into this gap, closely followed by lils. God knows how she
    got in there.
    Needless to say, she couldn't get out, well even if she could she
    wasn't about to try. In her opinion it was obviously gonna be easier
    just to sit there and cry.
    And yes, she was right, Geoff and screw driver came to rescue.
    I think what really p***ed Geoff off was that as soon as he
    re-assembled the unit Lils dived behind it again, and then, quite
    happily came back out again !!
    
    I reckon they just do all these things to amuse us.
    
    I thought PHILosophical was pretty good Anne, but give us a break
    will you, I have to work with this guy and believe me, his ego 
    is begin enough all ready...there just ain't room for the three
    of us!!
    
    Fran, Lils and Rusty.
    

    
    
    FRANtastic,I say nothing and look what happens,some old ratbag
    joins a file and tears me apart,FRANxs a lot mate,I'm gonna get
    my boys round your place,see if you are happy then :->
    
    mb,get the swat gear,youre going in.........

    No contest mate!
    
    Me and the 'girls' can take on you and the 'boys' any day of the
    week !!
    
    Hey, just think, if you and I got together (God, what an awful thought)
    we could form the feline equivelant to the Brady Bunch !!
    
    Fran.
    
    Sorry, can't think of any word with PHIL init, well not a printable
    word anyway !
    

    re 167.
    
    Ok,you saw the boys last night,dragging your car off using only
    their teeth.....that was only a game to them..

    re: .164 - .167   I think I'm going to be ILL!  You guys are
    too much  :-)

    I have to agree with Nancy.  I know I've had my phil of this... oops.
        
        

    GGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    God,thats awful:)
    
    Well,Frans trapped all the nerves in her neck,so shes off all week,
    (arobics I ask you!!)
    
    The gang have given uyp with me for a while,it was boiling on Sunday
    so I put a bowl of water in the garden and dumped all three into
    it on various occasions during the day,trying to catch them was
    the best part,one shot up the tree,one hid in the bushes,but one
    was happy sitting in the water playing with his rubber-duck.
    Good old mb,never any problem............
    
    Phil.

    
    What are you supposed to do with this crew of ratbags..?
    
    I was lying on my bed last night,on top of the duvet cos its
    sssooooo hot at night,trying to get to sleep but only managing to
    get into a sort of doze,not real sleep,and getting more and more
    agitated and annoyed with the lack of air and a million and one
    midges eating me away.
    
    MB+the boys came up stairs and crashed on the bed,didnt really
    wake me up amymore than I was already but lm decided the lack of
    action needed some work on,so,he went for death bite on my big toe....
    He got a reaction to that...maybe not the one he counted on but
    a reaction nontheless....
    
    So now we have the heat,the flies,and a sore toe.....
    
    But,that wasnt enough for this mottley crew,oh no,they had another
    trick up their sleeves....
    
    What you do is this...
    
    wait until its gone a bit quiet,then sit up veerryy quietly,and
    then pounce on all the flies/moths in the room,jumping from the
    bed and landing with just enough noise to irritate on the carpet,climb
    back on the bed,eat said moth/fly,and repeat until reaction is gained..
    From mt half-sleep,I woke up to noises something like this and
    wondering what on earth was going on...
    
    sqqeeek.....    (bed springs creaking in pounce position)..
    silence.....    ( cat in air)...
    whhooommmppphh...(cat landing on carpet)...
    scratch,scramble scramble, (climbing up bed)...
    Sqeeeek......    (sitting down on bed)...
    Crunch crunch slurp...(moth eating time..again)
    
    Repeat to fade,using the desired amount of cats-3 is a good number-
    and a great time will be had by all,instant bug repelent...
    
    Have a nice day....
    
    Phil 

    Ah yes, Feline Pest Control.  Mine are very good at that.  In fact,
    Bumpy-tail caught a dragonfly out on the deck the other day and
    brought it downstairs to show me.  I can't tell you how exciting
    it was to have a dragonfly buzzing frantically around the living-
    room with a 'bumper-putt' (another of Bumpy's nicknames) bouncing
    around after it chirping and meowing the entire time. (Bumpy NEVER
    talks unless in the throws of "yarn-fever" whilst attacking my
    knitting).  
      And just so you don't feel alone in the evening attacks, Phil,
    Isis once brought in a June-bug (BIG beetle type bug) which promptly
    got away from her and landed on my neck while I was in bed!  That
    got my attention!
      Nancy

    re: .174 - Maybe I ought to call it:
    
    Feline Pest Control and Picnic

    
    or...Feline Pest control and Panic :)
    
    

    Just want you all to know that Saturday night while I was home on
    Cape Cod, Bear ran after Zeus, Terri and George while they were
    taking a walk and was struck by a car and killed.
    
    I can't believe my baby's gone.  Nothing will ever replace him in
    my heart, he was there for me during the good times and bad and
    helped me make it through so many rough spots.  The person who hit
    him never even stopped.  And he turned a year old last week.
    
    Tammi
    

    
    	Tammi, I'm soooo sorry to hear this!!! I can't believe it....
    
    	Our thoughts are with you...
    
    	Sherry, Rosie, Squeek and Missy   :(
    

    Tammi, my heart goes out to you.  I know what it's like to lose
    a cat so suddenly and unexpectedly.  Bear knows you loved him and
    gave him a good, QUALITY life... and it really is the quality of
    life that matters most.  My thoughts are with you.
    
    Perhaps you can open your heart and home to a new homeless cat very
    soon.  I think Bear would like that.
    
    Love and sympathies,
    
    -Roberta

    As always, Tammi, Bear will be remembered in the next Silver
    Lining Memorial.  I'm so very sorry to hear about Bear.  I hope
    this helps a bit. 
       Nancy DC & the Furry Foursome

    We are very sorry about Bear.
    
    our thoughts are with you,
    
    Karen, Sweetie and Holly
    

    Tami,
    
    I am sorry about Bear.
    
    Jo

    
    Tami,
    
    	All our sympathy for your loss.  Such a tragedy. Our feelings
    	and hearts reach out to you,
    
    	Bob, Ruffles "the wonder cat", Smoke, Nightmare, Sneakers
    							  & Noname
    
    

    Oh, Tammi, I'm so sorry to hear about Bear.
    
    Sympathies,
    
    Shayne (NZ)

    RE: 171
    
    I apologize, Nancy, for the bad pun.  I guess I'm just a philistine
    at heart.
    
    Oh dear, I've done it again.  8-(
    
    

    Tammi,
    
    I am so sorry to hear about Bear.  What a terrible thing....
    
    Mary-Michael

    re: .185  Its a good thing I had training with the all-time worst
    punster in the world...a former roommate.  Else I would be in serious
    pain right now.
    

    Wow................take a few days off and all kinds of things happen!!
    
    Tami--so sorry about Bear!!
    
    It's been tough reading through all the puns...........near gagging
    intensity.  Nice to see the stories again, Phil.  Welcome Fran.
    
    KC
    

    
    Ratbags will never join GREENPEACE;
    
    I seem to have aquired over the years a life -sized fluffy
    seal cub,like them wot got killed in the Artic for their fur,well,
    I was happily sitting in the garden(again) whenthe crew shot out
    of the windows dragging this seal pup behind them.
    
    It must be 3 times the size of mb but they went to town on it,
    stalking,pouncing,growling,then biting it and running off down
    the garden with ther pup intow.
    
    The last I saw of it was a little hind leg slipping over the fence
    into another garden with the manic threesome all drawing their
    skinning knives out......
    
    Its all too much to cope with.....
    
    Phil.
    
    Fran,it aint half peaceful without you!!!!!!!!!

    
   " Oh joyous times,"  said the Kittens;
    
    Having filled the motor- parts of the ratbags,they hot-footed
    into the back-garden to destroy whatever plants I had left,and, after
    completing this dangerous mission,decided to go visit the old 
    ladies next door.
    
    I can hear the squeels of delight from them now....
    "oh,look Doris,its the kittens come to play....."
    
    (picture them laying on their sun-beds)
    
    Up jumps mb=lm on one,tb on the other....
    
    mb+lm,after recieving the normal amount of attention break-out
    into a fight,on her lap,(she must be 80)at which point she gets
    aggitated,not to say a bit unhappy. MB has lm on his back,while
    lm is raking mbs' tum with his back legs....then mb shoots up her
    arm and around the back of her neck,followed by lm....well,this
    went on and on till they got bored and came home,tb was no prob.
    at all.....
    
    I will always remember the soothing sighs of sheer pleasure from
    that little old lady as the gang where amusing her....
    
    "ooohhh,get off,help,ahhhh,mmmm,ouch...bloody cats..."
    
    P
    
    
    

    Phil:
    
    You've missed your TRUE calling -- you should've been a writer instead
    of in Telemarketing!
    
    Did you tell all the FELINERS about your party on 12 Aug, maybe
    they'll fly to Reading just to meet up with you ....
    
    Tam (Bear-less)
    

    I agree with Tammi!  Or maybe you should be drawing a comic
    strip.

>    I agree with Tammi!  Or maybe you should be drawing a comic
>    strip.

Yeah!  I can see it now..."THE THREE TERRORS" ......SUPER-CATS ON THE LOOSE!
CAN BATMAN, SUPERMAN, AND THE HULK SAVE GOTHAM CITY FROM DESTRUCTION??"

Well, you get the idea.....Listen, Hannah loves these stories of yours - they
remind her of her own misspent youth...

				Another fan,

				    D

    Hmm ...
    
    "Misspent Youth".  I like that.  But you all don't know the
    HALF of it!  If you heard the "gory stories" I get from him 
    on a daily basis, it'd raise your hair on end like it does 
    MINE!
    
    If this conference has a "Hall of Fame", I'd say Phil should
    be nominated ...
    
    Tammi
    

    OK folks I'm back! And I can still write, even with this contraption
    on my arm.
    
    Thanks for all the sympathy Phil, all was knew I could rely on you.
    
   Tammi - So sorry to hear about Bear, hope you can find another furry
    friend to keep you smiling.
    
    Anyway you lot, what on earth is going on ! I turn my back for two
    minutes and you all start singing Phil's praises.
    Take it from someone who knows - he ain't that great!!
    Perhaps you should all try working with him, then see what you think
    of him.
    
    Anyway, I'd rather read about your cats than HIM.
    
    Mine are both fine, the only good thing about being off last week
    was spending time with them, they've both settled in now and have
    become very cheeky. They're as good as gold with me, but really
    manage to wind Geoff up, it's a battle of wits, and they always
    win!! Although it does often take a little bit of help from me -
    not that I encourage them at all !
    
    One small problem,it seems that Geoff is allergic to cats, the sneezing
    and watery eyes is getting worse, only one solution I'm afraid....
    
    WANTED....A good home for a fully house trained, well behaved (most
    of the time) boyfriend.
    
    Fran.

    God,she must be back.............
    
    Do you ever get this uneasy feeling in the mornings like you know
    something is going to happen..? I got one this morning when I woke
    up.............Fran was back today,uuuggghhhhh....:->
    
    I TRIED to have my Sunday lunch yesterday,chicken and roast spuds,
    but mb had another idea.....
    
    When I had everything on my plate,ready for the great munch debate,
    I made the mistake of leaving the plate on the bench while I got
    my eating irons...when I walked back into the kitchen half my chicken
    had gone......and so had the crew.....I doesnt take much to work
    out what had happened......All I could see was three furry bums
    legging it down the path with MY lunch shared betweeen them.They
    shot up the coal bunker and onto the garage roof and ripped it apart
    and fell asleep for the next hour or so.......
    
    Lunch wasnt quite the same after that,I'm supprised they havent
    mastered the art of opening the fridge door and helping themselves
    to cheese and biscuites for afters.
    
    Were moving house over the weekend so lets see how brave they are
    when it comes to meeting new neigs....
    
    
    Phil
    

    Tammi,
    
         Sorry to be so late; I was on "vacation" last week ...
    
         So sorry to hear about Bear.  Having just lost my Fluffy so
    suddenly, I can understand what you're going through.  Time will ease
    the pain ...
    
                                            - Andrea

    
    I would note on one aspect of last nights fun,but I dont think
    anyone would find it quite as funny as it seemed at the time,,,,!!
    
    We are all getting  packed up and ready for the big move this weekend,
    mb's packed the m16 and tear-gas,tb's packed the half chewed seal-pup
    and thunderflashes,lm's packed and is continuing to pack the entire
    contents of the fridge along with any other edible item....
    
    Someone offered to lend me a cat basket for the move...now I know
    that is a really nice offer but I cant really see the crew couped-up
    in a basket for 1/2 an hour,they would destroy it...and I cant affored
    to buy a replacement...besides,I promised they could all sit on
    the back shelf and gesture obsenities at the people in the cars
    behind....
    
    I had to draw the line at their suggestion of a mac stopover on
    the way though......
    
    Pjg.

    Hi Nancy!!!!!

    Well done Nancy, at last you've realised that most of Phil's comments
    don't warrant a reply !!! 
    
    

    Now wait a minute!!!  That silly notes system wouldn't let me 
    finish!  Cutting off my replies   ARGH!!!!!   
    
    What I was trying to say was:
    
      I want to borrow the terrible trio for my trips through Boston.
    I figure I'll be able to concentrate on my driving if those
    three "handle" all the gesturing (pun intended) for me.
       Nancy
    
    p.s. I got a phone call from Phil!!!!!!!!!!  Knew immediately
    who it was!  Love that accent  :-)

    
    Na,that was Fran,not saying she is just a little bit macho or what!!!
    

    Pity Phil doesn't use his accent for what it's meant for......
    
    Talking to customers instead of social calls!!!
    
    Anyway. if you listen to it droning on all day, it tends to grate
    on the nerves..!
    
    BTW Does anyone know a decent boutique for cats, I'm getting married
    next August and want the 'girls' to be brides maids (the groom doesn't
    know this yet- about the cats that is, not the wedding!!)
    I've got the colour and design in mind but I'm not sure how it will
    work!!
    
    Fran
    
    P.S Do they let cats in church??
    

    Fran,
    
    I have a very funny cartoon called "Cat Court".  It is about a case
    that comes up before the judge where a woman wants her cat, Bernice
    to be her bridesmaid, and the groom objects.  The judge rules in
    favor of Bernice, and as part of the settlement, the groom must
    buy Bernice's dress and shoes!  
    
    The judge was prejudiced, he was a cat too!  So, if your groom doesn't
    go for it, just take him to cat court, but be sure the judge is
    "on your side" ;^)
    
    Jo

    re: bouquet - I'd say some nice sprays of catmint...tho they'll
    probably be somewhat distracted by it  :-)
    
    re: cats in church - I know of two cats who went to church.
    One of the was Mao!!!  I was doing the children's message during
    the service one week and the subject was on caring for God's
    creatures and how they feel too.  Jack brought Mao up for me
    and we brought her in 1/2 way through the Children's message.
    SHE WAS GREAT!!!!  (ought to have a career in acting, I say)
    It was so funny to hear everyone gasp when we openned the door
    and they saw what was behind it!  Of course, the kids absolutely
    LOVED it!  
      So Mao loves lots of humans, but HATES lots of cats.  She was
    a total disapointment at a cat show. Oh well, the show life is
    not for everycat.
      Nancy DC and hamcat!
    

    Fran,
    
    Just make sure you have a lot of tissues/kleenex on hand for the
    groom, if he's still allergic.  But of course, regardless of his
    problem, the CATS should be there--afterall, they are the "kids"
    aren't they?
    
    Karen
    

    ref.207
    
    Well they're the only one's I intend on having !!
    
    Think we could have found a slight cure for the allergy. 
    It is usually at its worse at night, when the three of us are 
    all in the bedroom cuddled up on the bed.
    
    So the best idea is to make sure Geoff and the cats are seperated
    at night.
    A vote was taken by me and the 'girls' and, as of tonight, Geoff
    is to be shut out of the bedroom at bed time !!
    (it was a purrfectly (sorry!!) fair vote, 3 against 1 )
    
    Fran.
    
    

    
    Lack of sleep.........
    
    This crazy crew have taken to jumping all over my bed at 4.00am
    all week long,If I kick them out they howl at the door till I let
    them back in again,then they start fighting in,under,on top of the
    duvet,one under,the others jump on whoever is under.....
    
    Why,dont I feed them good? why me,I only beat them with a stick
    3 times a week now,and Ive given up swinging them around by their
    tails.....	AND I dont put rat poison in the food anymore.....
    
    Where am I going wrong.....????
    
    *-:-)))))

    Where are you going wrong?  Sounds as tho' you are just too nice.
     A real Philanthropuss...
    
    Anne
    

    annethology of a cat lover+=
    
    anneerexix annealergy of annebelievable FRANkness!!
    
    have a nice weekend!!!
    
    :-}

    UUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNCCCCCCCCCCCLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
    
    I give up.  You win!
    
    I'd give up the feline conference and join the one on philately,
    but I'm afraid it would be all about your tardiness...
    
    a.
    

    Oh gawd...This is too much on a monday morning........
    
    Maybe I should philter these notes.......

    Hi everyone:
    
    Guess what?  One of my friends surprised me Sunday with a purebred
    Lilac Point Siamese kitten.  He's so cute, he looks like a little
    rat!
    
    I've been calling him "Reza" (in honour of my friend who got him
    for me) which means "thankful" in Persian.  But we have some
    alternative names, one of which is "Moushi", this means "Little
    Rat" in Persian -- he looks just like a little rat right now, all
    cream color and with grey points everywhere, big blue semi-crossed
    eyes (just gives the little sweetheart character!) and an outrageous
    personality.
    
    He'll never replace Bear in my heart, I cannot compare the two at
    all, but this little guy is adorable!  Now if he can just win Tia
    over -- we'll be all set!  And he's petrified of Zeus!  When Zeus
    came to see him for a closer look, Reza got all fuzzed out in anger
    and started spitting like crazy!  He didn't stop for almost an hour,
    even after Zeus was banished to the deck outside!
    
    Can anyone give me some more suggestions for names.  Also, when
    I got Bear, he already had his shots.  I'm not sure what kinds of
    shots the little guy needs.  He's 8 1/2 weeks old as of yesterday.
    And he's eating Science Diet Kitten Formula like crazy!
    
    Tammi
    

    Congratulations, Tammi!
    
    Welcome to the world of Siamese!  Life will never
    be the same!!!
    
    My clearest memory of Niniane as a kitten was -- ears.
    This little tiny blue, triangular face and...ears.  Large,
    amazing pointed ears!  She's grown into them, but her
    kitten pictures are hilarious!  
    
    You will find yourself with a loyal, intelligent companion
    who loves good conversation (especially when he gets to do
    the talking!) and company, and will spend many wonderful
    years by your side.
    
    I think "Moushi" is a marvelous name!   
    
    Best of luck to you and the menagerie!
    
    Mary-Michael, 
    Niniane (blue point siamese)
    Charm   (seal point siamese)
    Dream   (oriental shorthair)
    Boogie  (tabby who acts siamese!)  

    
    Great news Tammi, I'm sure he/she will bring you as many happy times
    as Bear did.
    
    Now, I've got a problem!
    When Geoff first started complaining of an allergy to the'girls'
    i.e runny nose, streaming eyes etc.. I thought he was playing it
    up a bit, y'know just a little jealous that he was no longer the
    centre of my love and attention and having to sleep on the settee!!
    But now I'm not so sure, even I can see that he is suffering in
    a BIG way.
    
    Has anyone got any suggestions that might easy his suffering,
    there must be something that will easy his symptoms.
    
    I thought it might help if I introduced the 'girls' to the outside
    world so that they could spent time out of doors and not be inside
    all day every day. But this hasn't gone down too well, they are
    not impressed..believe me, I have the scratches to prove it.
    Should I perserve until they get use to it or what?
    
    PLEASE HELP, I don't want to have to part with them, but this is
    getting serious.
    
    Thanks in advance
    
    Fran.
    

    re:tammi.......
    
    thinks name...Salami.....like that,Salami.....
    
    re:
    Fran......thinks allergy.....buy a larger house.....move geoff
    to the loft.....like that,loft.
    
    Thinks cat.....
    
    We have been absolutley swamped by visiting cats this weekend,
    and have they been having a hard time trying to mark all the new
    garden,oh,and the cars,(before I smashed it up on Sunday!!)They
    are the biggest Tom cats I have ever seen,but they still dont like
    being attacked with the garden hose......:-)
    
    A mate of mine came round on Sat.stroaked one of them damm toms
    and was rewarded by being bitten on the finger,and drenched by me
    with the hose......made my day!!!!!!
    
    More later......very tired today...:-))))))))))))))))))))
    
    Phil

    Yay Tammi!!
    
    It probably would be a good idea to get this little guy to the
    vets soon.  I'm not sure when he's due for his kitten shots
    but I suspect its around now.  Also, its best to have a "well
    visit" to the vets ASAP to have everything checked out.
      Enjoy.
       Nancy DC

        re: .216  Is Geoff taking any allergy medication?  If not, have
    him try some.  My husband is also allergic to cats, we have four
    indoor cats, and he manages just fine.  He's been taking Seldane.
      Also, it seems that folks with cat allergies can become desensitized
    to their own cats after living with them for a period of time and
    that does appear to be true in Jack's case.  He's taking flying
    lessons this year and doesn't take any allergy medication on the
    days he's flying.  His allergies don't seem all that much worse.
      re: outdoor - I'm a big believer in keeping cats indoors.  I
    lost my first cat to a car - and so did Phil!  Try buying an air
    filter or two.  We have one in the livingroom  and one in the bedroom.
    We got ours at Sears and I don't know as Sears is international
    :-)  
      If all else fails try keeping the cats out of the bedroom at night.
    I have some friends who are allergic to cats and have two of them.
    If they just keep the cats out of the bedroom at all times, they
    cut down the exposure to a manageable level.
      Good luck
       Nancy DC

    Phil and everyone:
    
    We've decided to keep "Reza" (pronouned ray-za).  'Cause we're thankful
    he's in our lives.  He's sleeping with me under the covers just
    like Bear did, it's nice to have a warm body around (even if it's
    only a kitten instead of a male!).
    
    Fran:  Sounds pretty ominous to me.  My father was allergic to our
    Manx Smokey, we had to keep him outdoors all the time because my
    dad would start sneezing and itching like crazy when he was around,
    cats leave hair everywhere (even short haired ones) and so it's
    no use to just let them out on occasion.  Poor Geoff, he's probably
    trying to be a good sport about it -- but there comes a time in
    a woman's life when you just have to make these choices ....!!!!
    
    Phil:  Salami is cute, but he doesn't look like a salami to me.
     I will be sending you new pictures this weekend.  He looks like
    a little white and grey rat with HUGE ears and semi-crossed bright
    blue eyes right now.  Very affectionate and playful, Tia still hates
    him though and Zeus wants to play with him all the time.  Of course,
    having never been around dogs, Reza's petrified of him and it makes
    for some really funny sights around the house!
    
    Tammi
    

    When I told my doctor I had four cats,  I got
    a look that measured somewhere between incredulity
    and disbelief.  I have semi-seasonal asthma and am
    allergic to cats.  I quickly explained that the cats
    were not negotiable, and we had to work around them.
    I have, to a certain extent become desensitized to 
    each of them after a period of 4-6 weeks of exposure.
    However, in the winter, when my asthma is worse, I
    need to take additional precautions:
    
    1.)  Vaccuum twice a week.  Furniture, blinds, curtains,
         basboards, any and every space that could habor cat
         dander;
    
    2.)  Designate the bedroom a "safe zone".  Keep the door
         closed and the cats out.  This is difficult and
         heartbreaking (especially for Dream, who still doesn't
         believe me when I tell her she's a cat), but is necessary
         for free breathing, and it does work.  If you give the
         cats special beds in the other part of the house, they
         seem to adjust fairly well;
    
    3.)  Don't "layer" allergies.  Exposure to more than one 
         irritant at a time makes them all worse.  Example,
         if you are allergic to foods but the allergy is
         usually tolerable, don't be around cats and eat
         the foods at the same time.  You reaction will
         be worse.
    
    4.)  Ask your doctor about allergy medications, shots,
         and desensitizing agents.  I take Hismanal once
         a day (no side effects like Seldane but slightly
         stronger and you only need one a day) and can
         cuddle and pet the kitties most of the year.  Hismanal
         is brand new on the market.
    
    5.)  Brush kitties at least 2-3 times a week to control
         the amount of fur and dander.  I'm told indoor cats shed all
         year.  Bathing the cats can help, but I don't tend
         to since I value my life ;-)
    
    6.)  Remember, it's not the fur, it's the dander on the
         fur that he's allergic to.
    
    I hope this helps.  I don't know what I would do without
    my girls!!!
    
    Mary-Michael, Niniane, Charm, Dream and Boogie

    For what it is worth, there is something onthe market called
    "Allerpet/C" (the C is for cat, not canine; /D is for dog). I
    understand that it works for some but not for others. Anyhow, see
    note 2080 for details.
    
    Deb

Re:  allergies and outdoor cats

I am allergic to lots of things so I've never bothered to find out if the
cats are one of them.  However, I can tell you that a cat that has been
outside to gather lots of pollen on his/her coat IS NOT the solution for
someone with allergies.  I would strongly recommend to keep the cats
on a high quality food to minimize dry skin and flaking, groom cats daily
in the same place and then clean the area well (it only takes a few minutes
to do this everyday), and keep the cats out of the bedroom at ALL times,
thereby establishing a "dander-free" zone.  Keep the cats in so their
coats regulate to the environment and don't go through lots of changes.
In most cases, dander is the problem rather than hair and if you groom
daily and bathe the cats often you can minimize the problem.  The second
part of the equation if to get to a doctor that is willing to work with
the problem rather than simply say, "get rid of the cats"....just for
the record, my doctor claims that getting rid of the animal won't do
much good in the long run...you'll just end up allergic to something
else.  Instead, she recommends building immunity to the allergen which
seems to work to keep her patients from becoming reactive to EVERYTHING
in the environment...also, she says stress has a lot to do with allergies
and recommends stress-management training.  At any rate, it is best to
see a doctor and get some help for the symptoms.

    
    	I also have allergies, and found it is possible to co-exist 
    with animals.  I told my Dr about all the animals I come in contact
    with, and when he suggested that I limit my contact with them, well
    I just let him know it was not an option.
    
    What we do is:
    
    vacuum her rooms every day (she is medium hair with a thick undercoat
    wich is a shedding nightmare).
    
    She is not allowed upstairs.  At least I can sleep in comfort.....most
    of the time....she does sneak up for an occasional visit.
    
    She goes outside for 10 - 15 hours a day, her choice, and is confined
    to the (huge) basement when everyone goes to bed.  
    
    I jsut started bathing her on a monthly basis, and it does get rid of a
    ton of hair (almost a secind cats worth).  I comb her out first, wet 
    and shampoo, and comb thru.  When we are done, she looks lighter, 
    shiner and much prettier.  At first she hated it and was a terror, but 
    after each bath, she accepts it more it with out much fuss (now I know this
    weekend I'll be eating my words).  
    
    I think it is possible to limit the amount of hair/dander in the house,
    but you have to keep on top of it.  I also think I am sensitized to her,
    because if I am around other peoples animals I get the itchy eyes and stuffy
    head symptoms.  
    
    Animals are a major part of my life and I wont give them up!...so I 
    guess a little discomfort is worth the pleasure I recewive from 
    them each day.
    
    

    
    Thanks everyone for your suggestions. I think you're all right,
    it's definitely time I let Geoff back in the bedroom and lock the
    cats out of it (don't reckon they're gonna take to kindly to that!!)
    
    I have been hoovering everyday including the suite, so I'll keep
    that up. Only other thing to do is go down the chemist and see if
    they can recommend any allergy medication.
    
    Thanks for all your help and suggestions.
    
    Fran, Rusty and Lily.
    

    Fran -
      Geoff may want to consult a doctor.  I am totally unable to
    take anything but Seldane - which, by the way, has no side effects
    for me.  Most of the over-the-counter medications in this country
    have an ingedient called Pseudoephedrine.  I just can't tolerate
    it.  And the few products that don't contain that, contain an
    antihistamine that puts me to sleep.  Some of the products try to
    counteract the drowsiness with caffine - this I don't need.  
      Geoff may be much more comfortable with Seldane or the other
    new "2nd generation antihistamine" (that starts with an H).  He
    might also want to have "scratch tests" done to determine wht
    else he's allergic to.  That way he can try to avoid those allergens
    as well.
      Good luck.
    

    
    UHHM.....Did you see that note on cat wanted home.....????
    
    We have had some visitors staying overnight for a bit,and what with
    the house being so big I'm never too sure where the crew are,but
    I sure did this morning.....
    
    I fed the motor section of the crew and went to bed,they are so
    intent on chasing around the house sniffing and chasing everything
    in sight,under this and up my new curtains I might add,that I'm
    happy to let them just keep themselves amused and thought nothing
    more of it....
    
    Went to bed and listened to them running around for a while and
    fell off to sleep....
    
    At 6.00am this morning I heard the loudest AAAHHHHHGGGGG...... !!!!
    
    The crew had decided to wake me up by one jumping on the bed for
    a nasal attack,no.2 had gone for the foot dangling out of the duvet
    jugular toe bite,no3.had gone for the under duvet thigh scratch..
    
    The only problem with this was.....
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    WRONG ROOM,WRONG PERSON,...........They had attacked my friend who
    didnt have a clue what was going on and almost died of a heart
    attack!!!
    
    Love it!!!!   :->>         
    

    
    That makes a change Phil.......................
                       
    Isn't usually you in the wrong bed with the wrong person...
    
    those cats are definitely getting more and more like you everyday
    
    
    Teh teh
    
    F.
    
    p.s see you at the It's a Knockout on Saturday - I've now got 2
    whole days without you, I hate to say it, but I bet I won't have
    as much fun without you!! (well we do tend to liven things up when
    we go on courses together)
    
    

    
    Did anyone notice the mistake there..?
    
    I meant to put
    
    Isn't IT usually you in the wrong bed with the wrong person!!
    
    F.
    

    
    Hey, just found out that Phil tryed to delete my note (.228)
    
    What's up Phil, can't handle the truth!!
    
    YEAH, one up at last!!
    
    F.

    This is meant to be an observation cats file hollowayf,kindly
    remember that and stop slandering my person,or start your own
    file,do I make myself understood?
    
    Phil G.
        
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    :-)

    
    Gee Phil, I never knew you could be sooooo strong and masterful..
    
    and all those big words.....hey I'm impressed.
    
    
    Besides all that, my following comment is not printable
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    So, what d'you think of that then!!!
    
    
    F.

    re: .228  wrong bed -  I'm much too young and naive for this
    sort of talk (blush blush)!!

    What an interesting idea ;-)
    

    RE: last several

    OK, folks. Let's watch what we say and how we say it. Some of this
    stuff is bordering on bad taste and could be taken as offensive by some
    parties. 


    Deb
    co-moderator

    
    NA,NA,not me,I'm a good boy!!!!!!!!
    
    :-))))))))))))
    
    Phil!

    Bad taste?  Us?
    

    
    lazy spelling and noting i know,dont shout at me though...
    
    On the way to work this morning we drove past a dead cat in the
    road,everone was just driving past it as if it wasnt there,so we
    stopped and took it to the vets for cremation.it was a big black
    and white tom that was obviously well looked after but it had no
    tags on so we dont know who to call.
    
    it really makes me angry that people just dont bother to check if
    the cat is dead after running it over and everyone else drives on
    past.it was really depressing as it was raining this morning and
    one of thoughs "blue mornings"anyhow.poor thing.
    
    I gonna talk to the boys tonight and give them all a copy of the
    highway code to learn and hold a question and answer session
    afterwards,if anyone fails then they get to stay in all week with
    NO TEA!!!!
    
    Depressing beggining to this note i know but it makes me mad.sorry
    guys.......
    
    Phil.

    
    	I have the unfortunate experience of seeing some dead furry thing
    on the road at least every week.  I feel bad if I can tell it was
    a cat, but pulling over in the middle of rush hour on 495 to check out
    a road kill is not a smart thing to do.  If it were still moving, I
    would probably stop.  Whenever I see a dead pet by the road, I wonder
    who it belongs to and if they've missed it yet; I guess I'd be one of
    those careless people who keeps on going, but some of those kills have
    been there for DAYS.  
    
    	Ah, too much depression for a Friday.  A high school classmate of
    mine once stopped his car in heavy traffic to pull an injured dog from
    the road, at great personal risk.  It didn't turn out well at all, but
    I'm still admiring him. (He explained that if it had been his dog, he would
    have wanted someone to try and save it.)
    
    								Lisa
    

    I KNOW how you feel Phil.  I think that you were very considerate
    to take the cat for cremation.  that's a really noble thing to do.
    I've picked up dead cats too.  Mostly I just move them out of the
    road so that they won't get run over any more.  Once it was a
    neighbor's cat so I went back with a box and brought him home so
    she could take care of him.  
    
      Lisa, I think your friend is great!   I like to think that I"d
    do the same thing if I saw a hurt dog or cat.  We once came across
    a cat that had just been hit.  I didn't see it, but he was still
    moving, tho quite dead.  Poor thing.  We were on our way to a 
    company Christmas party and we stopped and picked him up.  He as
    beautiful!  Obviously very well cared for.  Not knowing what to
    do with him, I took him to the Cambridge Police who were just around
    the corner (this was in Central Sq).  They gave me a very hard time.
    Didn't want him and told me to get out.  I asked them what they
    wanted me to do with the body - just throw it back out on the street!
    Finally they gave me a shoe box and told me to leave the body in
    the corner, they'd call animal control.  Sad, isn't it.
    
      I don't know why people do these things!  I can only feel a little
    less bad about it because there are folks who will try and do the
    right thing.
    
      I hope it all balances out somewhere.
        Nancy DC 

    I think I've told this story here before, but I once stopped when
    I saw a "dead" possom at the side of the road.  An animal control
    van was either there or arrived shortly, and they told me that,
    contrary to what I was sure of, the animal was not dead, but in
    profound shock from internal bleeding.  So, ever since I have
    been wary of pronouncing an anilmal past help.  I know possums
    "play dead", so I am not sure if a cat, say, would be in this misleading
    situation, but the possum was not moving the slightest, not even it's
    eyelids.
    
    

    This'll only be of any help to anyone in Reading, but there is a poor
    little black and white cat lying just down the road from Shire Hall,
    just where you'd turn right to go to Dec Park.  
    
    Unfortunately I had a lift this morning so I couldn't ask them to stop
    but if anyone has lost a b&w moggie around that area I'm afraid it may
    be bad news.

I once stopped and pulled two cats that had just been hit off the road,
assuming they were both dead and just wanting to avoid the horrible mess
that can happen with repeat hits.  I then had to run to get to a meeting
on time - I promised to return later in the morning to see to the bodies
to the homeowner in the house at which the cats were hit.
When I returned in 2 hours, only one cat body was there - the lady in
the house said that one came to and left!  This cat had seemed quite dead
and wasn't - it's always wise to remove the animal if you can without
endangering lives.  As said, stopping on Rte. 495 in rush-hour isn't
smart, but if you can stop, please do.

Phil, I second the vote - you are a sweetheart to stop and take care of
an animal!

    
    
    OK.OK.ENOUGH OF THE SAD STUFF,LETS GET HAPPY PEOPLE,NO MORE DEAD
    CATS,NO MORE CHOKE CHOKE SNIFF SNIFF!!!!!!!!!!  ;-)
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    Well,we had the party,a NICE QUIET affair(;0)and the cats have now
    been returned to the fold,after what was left on the carpet after
    the party I dont mind what the crew do to it now!!
    
    Do any of you have these wicker basket-stands with a flower pot
    in the top of it? Well,my mother used to have on as well......
    
    mb and the rest have been with her for a bit and during this time
    he took a fancy to climbing it.Its about 4ft high and quite heavy.
    
    So,up goes mb on Sunday afternoon,scratching and climbing to the
    top where he starts eating the damm plant-not very wise but no-one
    was taking much notice of him until,yup,an almighty CRUNCH and down
    comes the stand,flowers kitty and all.....just misses the rest of
    the possey who are now hiding behind the sofa....and destroys the
    entire lot......great fun,huh?
    
    Mb just jumped onto the nearest lap,sat there and started cleaning
    himself....
    
    what do you do with this guy??????? :->
    
    Phil.

    
    Know what you mean Phil.
    
    Geoff and I have been given a 7ft brass hanging basket stand, with
    4 hanging baskets on it.
    
    The 'girls' have been intrigued by this and spent 3 days pacing
    round it, trying to decide what to do next.
    
    Well. last night they decided!
    There are 4 hanging baskets on it, one right at the top and the
    others underneath it at intervals, with the bottom one about 2ft
    from the floor. 
    I have been a bit worried about the bottom 2 'cos I reckoned the
    'girls' would go for them.
    Oh no, that's much too simple. Last night they aimed for the TOP
    one, perched on the top of the settee they both made a flying leap
    for the top basket.
    All we heard was an almighty crash. When entering the room we were
    faced with Lily on the floor with 2 baskets on top of her and Rusty
    hanging for dear life from the top basket.
    
    I duly rescued them both and cleared it all up. I then spent an
    hour calming Geoff down - those 'girls' just don't realise how close
    to the edge they are. Geoff is losing his sense of humor pretty
    quickly.
    
    Just as well they've got 9 lives, 'cos if they carry on like this
    they're gonna need them!!
    
    Personally, I thought it was really funny!
    
    Fran.

    
              ODE TO STRAY CAT FOUND IN MY HOUSE THIS MORNING
               WHO PEEED ON MY FRESHLEY CLEANED CARPET.
    ( TO THE TUNE OF UB40) (CHORUS ONLY!!)
    
    THERES A CAT IN THE KITCHEN WOT IMMA GONNA DO,
    THERES A CAT IN THE KITCHEN WOT IMMA GONNA DO.
    IMMA GONNA BEAT THAT CAT,THATS WHAT IMMA GONNA DO,
    IMMA GONNA KICK THAT CAT.
    
    THERES A CAT ON THE CARPET THATS GONNA DO A POO,
    THERES A CAT ON THE CARPET THATS GONNA DO A POO,
    I BETTER REACH THAT CAT,THATS WOT I BETTER DO
    I BETTER REACH THAT CAT.
    
    THERES A CAT ON THE CEILING THAT WENT AND DID A POO,
    THERES A CAT ON THE CEILING THAT WENT AND DID A POO.
    ITS GONNA DIE THAT CAT,THATS WOT ITS GONNA DO,
    ITS GONNA DIE THAT CAT!
    
    THERES A CORPSE IN THE GARDEN,OF YOU KNOW WHO,
    THERES A CORPSE IN THE GARDEN OF YOU KNOW WHO,............
    
    
    
    
    
    ETC ETC ETC!!!!!        
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    (But not really,it ended up legging-it through the window after
    a good soaking  ;-)
    
    P!!!!!

    
    not bad Phil, not bad.
    

    
    	UB40 is a group, not a song.
    
    	Still funny, though!

    
    	UB40 all sounds the same to me....
    

    
    Oh,pickkie pikkie!!!!!!
    
    If you put ub40 on and then sing these words to their song
    "theres a rat in the kitchen" you would SING TO UB40 wouldnt you?!!:-)
    
    Is there no pleasing you lot!!!!!!! :-)
    
    Phil-who-is-now-sulking!
    
    

    
    Hey Phil, they've realised that even you're not perfect.
    
    AT LAST !!!
    
    F.

    
    Coming from you hollowayf,miss imperfection if I ever met one,
    I will take that with a pinch of salt:->>>>>>>
    
    
    --------------> Here comes your arrow,better duck Fran------------->
    
    Phil.

    
    Anyway,youre only jelouse(sp?) cos my cats are smarter,cleaner,more
    brighter,smarter and funnier than your"mangy Mothballs"
    
    hahahahahahahahahahahahha   :-))))))))))))))
    
    Phil-who-knows-where-to-send-MB!!!!!
    

    See,twice as smart!!!!

    
    well I suppose someone from your 'family' has gotta be smart, and
    i certainly know who it ain't!
    
    
    OK. OK. enough of this I am very very sorry Mr/Miss moderator
    I don't mean to be offensive, well not to the innocent parties anyway!!
    
    Guess we'll just have to be content in being 'orrid to each others
    face Phil.
    

    Yeah,but I have to do it twice as many times to you:-))))
    
    MB,new rounds for the ouzo if you please......;-}
    
    Phil.

    I ain't stupid Phil, and I ain't 2 faced either !!
    
    
    :-) :-) :-)
    
    (Phil says if a put smiley faces on, then the moderator will know
    we are only joking, and I won't get told off. :-) :-) :-))
    

    Very good, Phil.  You are a bloke of many talents.  That was a regular
    philharmonic catcophany.  The violent imagery, however, is probably
    going to get you into deep kimshu [spelling?].  Any more hidden
    symphonies?
    
    UB40 sounds like a mildew cleaner...
    
    Signed,
    Anne, who only listens to Chopin  ;-)
                   
                   

    No - that's DIDI-7 Anne.
      Nancy DC
    

    
    Well,I'll try again then!!!!
    
    The three kittens(use your imagination!) are growing up and are
    going through the "difficult" stage of life,and are playing the
    Mother up something really rotten.
    
    Then,one day,one of them hears a really naughty word and rushes
    to tell the others what he has learnt.
    
    "Hey guys,listen to this" and spouts out the word.
    "Sheesh,whats it mean?"asks one?
    "dunno,but it sure sounds good"
    "lets try it out on mom in the morning"
    "ok"
    
    So,they are all sitting round the table in the morning(ok,so no
    table!!)and Mom asks the 1st;
    
    "well darling tb,what would you like for breakfast?"
    
    "I'll have the friggin' Tinned catfood"
    (see,even I moderate the lang.at times!)
                                           
    Mom stands back in horror,looks at tb and WHACK! cuffs him a good
    'un and sends him to his room.
    
    Then its lm turn.
    
    "right lm,darling,what would you like for breakfast?"
    " I'll have the friggin' tinned cat-food as well"
    
    More horror and a massive KERTHWACK!!! Round the head job again
    and straight to his room.
    
   ( MB is getting edgy)
    
    "OK,mb,my most darling of darlings,what would YOU,like for breakfast?"
    
    "Dunno,but I'm not having the friggin' tinned cat-food..........."
    *********************************************************************
    
    Well,at least I'm trying my best!!!!!!!!!
    
    Phil.
    Have a good weekend all.   *8-)
    
    
    
    
                   
    
    
    
    
    
    

    I'm laughing at your reply, Nancy.  My first reaction was "Is DIDI-7
    referring to a rock group, mildew cleaner or a new phrase for 'deep
    kimshe"?  ;-)  What a comment on our times.  And I must be getting
    old!
        
    Egad, when is the next bus leaving for the home...
        
        
        

        

    DIDI-7 is a new "miracle" cleaner that they've been advertising
    in our area.  That's all I could think of when I was reading the
    notes about UB40.  :-)
    

    
    Will it work on my "crucial"hangover??? ;-}
    
    phil-who-is-not-at - all well!!
    
    

    
    
    Psssss,fran,I think its time for a story,eh??  ;-)

    How do you relieve a wasp sting on a cat??
    
    Lily's favourite place is on the Bay window in the front room, she
    spends hours sitting on there looking out, and she always tries
    to chase all the little flies that come in, she looks hysterical
    when she's doing this :-)
    
    Yesterday she was sitting on ther and a wasp came in. I knew what
    was gonna happen, and I tried to warn her, but she wouldn't listen.
    Anyway, much to her amazment, she caught this wasp, and then,
    inevitably, it stung her.
    She went mad, shot off the window sill and dived onto my lap crying.
    I didn't know what to do (other than laugh :-)) So I did what my
    mum always did for us - bathed in vinegar. She didn't like that
    too much either. We ended up having a 'fight' and both being covered
    in vinegar - boy did it stink!!
    
    Rusty's new fetish is shoe laces. She goes mad every time Geoff
    tries to put on or take off his shoes. The poor thing (Geoff that
    is) has got scratches all over his hands.
    We tried giving her an old shoe lace to keep, but she ignores that,
    it doesn't have the same appeal to her!
    The funniest sight is when Geoff is walking round with one of his
    laces undone and Rusty starts stalking it, as soon as he stops she
    dives on his foot and scares the living daylights out of him!
    
    Fran 
    p.s Hi Nancy, fancy meeting you somewhere else! Will you tell Phil
    or shall I :-) :-)

    My mother used to use a paste made from baking soda and water. 
    Its supposed to draw the sting out.  I'm sure she wouldn't like
    that much better than the vinegar.  
      I believe for it to be most effective it should be applied immed-
    iately after the sting and left on for a bit.
    
    Fran -
      You didn't answer my question in Threads.  You inviting Phil or
    are you afraid he'll bring the terrible trio with him.  You know
    that group, they'd drink all the champagne and become terribly
    rowdy!
      Nancy DC
     
    p.s. Hey Phil - figure it out yet??

    Well, as someone that is allergic to wasps, I can tell you that the
    first thing that you want to do is IMMEDIATELY REMOVE THE STINGER!

    Since the poison that the wasp deposits into you is acid based, you
    want to use something like baking soda to neutralize it. Vinegar
    contains an acid, so I would think that it would make matters worst.

    Deb

    cut a yellow onion in half and place it on the spot.  within a minute
    the stinger will come out on the onion.  Granted this might be hard to
    see in all the fur, but it could be worth a shot.

    re: .268  That's wild, Michele.  I never heard that.  I wonder how
    it works. 
      Nancy DC

    
    I think we have a problem here,I always thought that wasps did not
    leave a sting only bees? After kicking over a wasp's nest a few
    years a go and getting slightly stung(50 times.!!!) I didnt have
    one sting left in,only large areas of pain!!!
    
    Oh well......:-)

    
    Sorry to do this and inflict my person and all that and I know 
    this is nothing about cats(yet..!)but I wondered if anyone worked
    in WDO MERIDEN,as I've applied for a posting there and I'd like
    to know if any of you lot worked there or has anyone visited it?
    
    I'm not sure if I'll get the job but its nice to get some idea of
    where I might be working.
    
    And who knows,maybe meet some of you lot,and even bring the wrecking
    crew over,mega!!!   ;-o-)
                            
    Thanx in advance guys!!
    
    Phil.
    

    Do you mean MDO, Meriden, Connecticut, Phil?  This is close by to
    New York, in New England.  My parents live about 10 minutes away,
    the area is very, very expensive and rather exclusive (due to the
    fact that it's close to NY and it's CT!).
    
    It's very beautiful there, you would like it a lot (if you can afford
    to live there or buy a house, that is!)
    
    Here's hoping you get the job ....
    
    Tammi
    

    
    Cheers Tam,Whats the area like? Rural,town,lots of countryside?
    (hoping!!!!) Cats need space you know!!
    
    Phil

    Meriden is sort of a city, but the surrounding town are very rural
    and beautiful, CT is a state that has many old and beautiful homes,
    lots of trees and grass, no smog and nice (if somewhat snobby) people.
     The winters are very cold (it's in the so-called "snow belt") and
    lots of snow.  If you like to ski, it's an ideal place to live,
    not very far from NYC, or Western MA, which is wonderful, Lenox
    is one of my favorite places.
    
    The good thing about CT is that it borders the ocean, Norwalk is
    very nice, there are excellent colleges there (So. CT University,
    Yale, etc) and there's lots to do and see.  You can take day trips
    to Rhode Island, Massachusetts, New York, and my parents love it
    there, after the initial shock of having to leave Massachusetts,
    where we were all born and raised.
    
    The cats would love it there ....
    
    T
    

    DOES THIS MEAN PHIL MAY BE COMING TO AMERICA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    
    YOW!!!!!!!!!!!  YOU MEAN WE MIGHT GET TO MEET YOU AFTER ALL!
    
    (I mean Tammi can't have you all the time  ;-)
    
    You could come to cat shows and feliner cookouts and everything!!!!!
    
    Oh boy!!!!
    

    
    Where abouts are you nancy? If I get the posting,and after what
    Tammi said,I cant imagine skiing tooo far to a Xmas Cookout!!!
    
    Little ski's for the crew,there's an idea,mb in a sledge!!!
    
    Phil!!

    At the moment, We're in a town south of Boston, Mass.  Our house
    is on the market so who knows what will happen.  We're planning
    to move out to the Marlboro/Hudson area if we can see our current
    house.  
     Not a short jaunt, but certainly driveable.
      Nancy DC
    
    p.s. if you do move here I assume you'll be bringing the "terrible
    trio"

    Oh Phil - if you do move to the US make sure you get rabies
    shots for the terrific trio before you get here.
      Nancy

    OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY!!!!
    
    JUST GOT AS MAIL FROM THE GUY IN CT WHOS DEALING WITH THE POSTING!
    
    C.V.BEING CONCIDERED AND SOMEONE WILL BE IN TOUCH SHORTLY.
    
    YYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA....!
    
    BTW.Do you have quarentine(sp?) in the US? If so,how long  is it?
    We have 6 months over here.
    
    Phil.

        
        No quarantine  coming  this  way,  but I second the suggestion
        that they all  get  rabies shots either before they come over,
        or at least before they're allowed out doors.
        
        Good Luck with the job!
        
        Sandy (married to a stateside Scot) :^}
        
        

    
    Cheers Sandi,Time for Jabs guys!!......;-)
    
    Phil

    
    
    	OOH Phil I hope it comes through...
    
    	My mom was born in Meriden but I don't know what it's
    	like....and I'm sure it's changed a lot since she was
    	there.
    
    	Good luck!!
    
    	JJ
    

    
    Oh boy,I thought it would take ages for a reply and not only
    do I get a reply 20 hours after my initial e-mail,I get another
    5 hours after that asking for more info.
    
    Starting to get excited here boss!!!
    
    Might get the cats jabbed tonight!!!!
    
    Phil-who-like-the-idea-of-living-in-a-snow-belt-
    
    Just as well the cats are black!!!!

    I'll have grandma do a Novena for you tonight that you get it. 
    You will love living in the States.
    
    The quarantine I believe is 90 days, I could be wrong.  Call the
    US Consulate and find out.
    
    I can have mom and dad send you info. on CT if this comes through
    for you ....
    
    Tam
    

    There is no quarantine coming into the United States, unless you
    are going to Hawaii.  The United States already has rabies, so coming
    from a rabies free (somewhat) country, be sure to have all the cats
    rabies vaccinated before you leave.  I am pretty sure that the vaccine
    is the only requirement as far as rabies is concerned.
    
    Jo

    
    Jo,
    Somewhat? We dont have any Rabies here at all,not one bit,
    The last reported outbreak was a fox in 1969.
    
    Anyway,mb is looking to apply for his concealed weapons licence
    on arrival for a new Uzi.....and junior membership of S.W.A.T.;-)
    
    Phil

    I'm glad there's no quarantine here.  It would be a real strain
    on all for them to have to be separated from you even for a few
    weeks.
      Nancy DC

    
    My ma just called me to say that the crew are diiging holes in
    her back garden and would I please come and collect them!!!!!
    
    Just holes,not for the other reason!!!!!!!
    
    P
    

    
    
    
    Hummmmmm...  are they trying to dig their way to the States?  I
    know that mine will do anything to avoid a trip to the Vets for
    the annual shots!  :-)  
    
    I'll keep an eye out for 3 black cats that might immerge from holes
    in the ground in case they make a wrong turn.
    
    Feline watchful,
    
    Sue & Panther & Spot
    

    
    re-1.   HOHOHOHOH.......:-0)
    
    Weve got a new kid in town now,adopted by a wandering cat no less.
    
    Woke up yesterday morning at about 6.30am to the sounds of a crying
    cat,nothing strange about that but it was coming from outside the
    bathroom window,and were about 30 ft up from the ground.
    
    Strange i thought,havent taken anything dodgy....:-)
    
    So up I got and opened the window to be greeted by this black and
    ginger cat sitting on the roof!!! She jumped in the window,stretched
    oround my legs and just jumped up onto the bed and fell asleep....
    
    More later............
    
    Phil

     Just had a call from the people in our house,one of the guys
    had made sos n"mash and our stray cat jumped up and pinched a sausage!!
     AND he found it sitting outside our french windows crying to be
    let in when it started to rain!!!
    AND its fat,
    AND it hasnt got fleas..
    AND it purrs like a 100 wasps in a jar,
    And why does it eat sausages???
    
    I could go on,but for the sake of humanity,I rest my case,or bag,
    or whatever I"m carring at the time really........
    Have a nice day now,I'm off to see George the Sossie theif....bibi
         
    0 0
     I
     U
                     Phil-going-mad-again............
    
    

    Hey Phil -
      Sounds like your guys put out the word!  Phil is a push over
    for cats....  Now you have a "furry foursome" too! 
      Nancy DC

    Thanks Nancy.......:-) I could do with getting a dog now!!
    
    I will probably get in trouble with you lot for this,but It doesnt
    hurt mb at all,and after all, I should know really...:-}
    
    Now he is getting big,and the undisputed leader of the lot,
    he gets a bit aggressive with me when we are larking about,so 
    I devised this torture for him,it goes like this.......
    
    I run the palm of my hand over the floor real quick,until MB
    puonces on it and starts chewing,hard,and then I flick him over
    and grab his tail and lift his back legs off the floor with it.He
    gets real mean so I start with the hand again,he jumps,chews harder
    and I grab the tail,and so on and so on until he starts growling
    and REALLY going for it,back legs racking my hand,tail in the air,legs
    off the ground and so it goes on........
    
    When I think its time to call it a day and get some milk/water for
    him,he waits until I'm half way to the kitchen and now he dashes
    up and nips my ankle,hes like a Jack Russell!!!!      
    
    Always ends up with both of us on the sofa,absolutly bushed!!!!!
    
    Daft,but true............
    
    Oh,never by the tip of the tail,only down by his bum.
    
    Have a good weekend,   Phil.

    
                        WELCOME TO GEORGE THE SOSSIE THIEF!!!
    
    George has stayed,we didnt feed him for two days but in the end
    we gave in and gave him some food.I dont know who owns him,or her!,
    so we put a note on the post at the end of our road so if anyone
    is looking they will know where to come.
    
    It really is a good looking cat,and it ALWAYS crys.Even whimpers
    in its sleep(which it does a lot!!:-) Itsa large cat,ginger and
    black,more like black with ginger highlights,and one ginger paw,
    why anyone would abandon it or just leave it when they moved I dont
    know,but I hope noone claims Goerge,it fits in real well with the
    others,a bit timid of MB,but then thats mb.
    
    The rest of the MOb go out on regular partols together,all three
    are never more than 3ft away from each other so woe-betide any cat
    that wants to pick a fight with them-I really think they think they
    are a pack,and are they fit!!! Imagine coming home from work and
    seeing all 3 walking down the drive,and jumping in through the window,
    one after the other!! 
    
    We dont really get any other cats in the back garden,while mb=lm=tb
    may not be as large as the others,they sure as h@ll know how to
    fight!! Thats why I find it supprising that they have let big G
    in the house so easily,no fighting with G,they leave him/her alone
    and share the same bowls!!
    
    Strange things dem cats......
    
    Phil......*8-| 
    
    

    re: .294  
    
    Maybe the mob know that George needs a home.  I think the decision
    was made for you before you even knew it  :-)  
    
    If George is black and ginger, then maybe it should be Georgie.
    Black and red on the same cat usually = female.  
      Congrats on the new addition.
       Nancy DC
    

    
    Nancy,
    
    I thought that,but G keeps lifting and shaking its tail like
    trying to leave a scent,never has yet,but just looks like it.
    
    I think you are right though,we just didnt have a choice! :-)
    
    ( but who really cares anyhow, Huh!!!)
    
    Phil

    Ah, Phil, maybe you'd better find out if George is Georgie, unless you
    have room for even _more_ cats.
    

    Hey Phil -
      In this area if you have the vet bills then you own the cat! 
          Nancy       

    WOW,THE BIG 300!!!!!
    
    Well,George is not George anymore,George is now Tabitha!!!!!
    
    I had a knock on the door last night from a little old lady who
    asked if we had seen a cat-Then George ran in and she shouted
    out "tabitha,there you are!!" I told her it was George,but then
    she explained thet she was meant to be looking after the cat for
    our neigbs.and had lost her for the last week.But she couldnt work
    out where all the food was going!!!
    
    That damm cat had been sleeping at our place,eating two good meals
    a day,and then trotting off home during the day and eating her own
    .!!!!!
    
    Strange thing though,the real owners came home during the night,and
    George went back for 5mins,and then just came back!!!!!!
    
    Last seen eating breakfast in the kitchen!!!
    
    Good old cat,its 10 years old.....:-)
    
    Good weekend all.......Phil,

    
    Sounds like George/Tabitha knows a soft touch when she runs across
    one.  Besides if you were a girl where would your rather spend your
    holiday, with a little old lady, or with a wild bunch of handsome
    men???!!!  George is no Dope!!!
    
    Better open a day care center for cats Phil.  But don't give up
    your day job.
    
    Feline helpful
    
    Sue & Panther & Spot (Who want to sign up for Day care with your
    bunch!) Such husseys!!
    
    
    
    

    Don't let Mao hear you say that 10 is old!  She still runs around
    like a kitten mao'ing and crabbing and racing up and down the stairs!
    Isis looks at me and says "I think she's getting senile!  What an
    undignified way for a full grown cat to act!"
      Nancy DC
    

Re: .300
    
>    That damm cat had been sleeping at our place,eating two good meals
>    a day,and then trotting off home during the day and eating her own
>    .!!!!!
    
That's the kind of behaviour in a cat that causes us to call our
twenty+ furfaces "pigs".  This generic nickname can get amusing, 
though.  For instance, at the grocery store, we get odd looks from
other shoppers when my wife or I ask "Do we need any pig food?".

Paul (Dad to 20 1/2 "pigs")

    I have a friend with a guinea pig named Arnold and he refers to
    Arnold as "the pig".  SO he may very well ask if they need
    Pig food...  :-)
    

"




""""""         
    I love the idea of shopping for pig-food! What size sty
    do you use? ;-)
    
    Well,we appear to have lost G,he went home sometime on Friday
    and hasnt been round again,apart from Monday when ha appeared for
    a few moments,trying for a bite to eat,but no go bozo!
    
    Had a real blast with the cats over the weekend,I spent most of
    the time wandering around with cats drapted over my shoulders,must
    be getting a bit chilly for them I suppose,apart from them being
    the laziest toads yet invented.
    
    Pjg.

Phil,

The troughs that we slop them out of are:

  * a turkey platter for canned food (2-3 cans per serving)
  * a salad bowl for dry food (usually holds 1/3 to 1/2 of a 7lb bag)

A few other amusing by-products of the "pig" nickname are:

When we want to call the outdoor furfaces for dinner, we shout 
"SOOOOOOEEE, PIG PIG PIG", just like calling actual swine.  The 
shout carries better than "Here kitty kitty", and the cats DO 
respond to it.  But visiting guests give us funny stares.

One time when making an appointment at the vet, I asked the new receptionist
when I could "bring my pig in to be spayed?".  I was met with a long pause 
on the other end of the phone, after which I heard her asking another of the 
office staff if they really spayed pigs.  I immediately realized my slip, 
but before I could correct myself, I overheard the rest of the office staff 
explaining instead.  It seems that the nickname caught on.

Paul  (Dad to 20.5 pigs...have you ever seen that many try to eat at once?)

    Paul-How on earth do you keep track of them all.....:-0)
    
    Must be good for a supply of bacon though;-) 
    
    Sorry,have to rash off,sorry I mean rush....!!!!!
    
    Phil.
    
    
    

    
    I'm not sure about pigs anymore but I KNOW its funny
    when someone knocks at your door at 9.00pm and in a kinda
    shakey voice asks if they can have their cat back...please..
    
    
    G's having a sleep right now,I'll send him home when he
    wakes up......:-]
     
    Phil.     
               @ @
                *
                Q

    
    Whoa,Dem boys gets the 1st bird!!!!
    
    Ever had the feeling that cats have quirky imaginations?
    
    Mb brought a Sparrow home this morning,very pleasant watching
    this bird fly around the house with 12 paws all chasing around
    after it in hot pursuit.....
    
    Never caught it though.......
    
    Phil.

    re: Never caught it tho........
      Good!   Besides, Phil, cats pick up nasty parasites from
    eating birds, rats & mice.
      Of course they never listen when you tell them this :-)
    

    
    
    Boy I bet the house looked just great when the feathered and furred
    got through with it!
    
    Phil, are you thinking of starting another business, Interior
    Demolition?
    

    
    Interior Demo?   They leave more mess afterwards,but watching them
    attack the furniture and climbing the walls in Hot Persuit
    of the feathered thingy was worth the effort.....
    
    Lm has at last decided that he loves the taste of my beer
    now,I caught him with his head in my glass taking sneaky
    slurps......Cheeky bugger!!!
    
    Phil.

>    Lm has at last decided that he loves the taste of my beer
>    now,I caught him with his head in my glass taking sneaky
>    slurps......Cheeky bugger!!!
    
No, Phil.....like "father", like "son"....old saying in these parts...
When he starts sneaking the car out on weekend nights....THEN you have
a problem....8^}

    
    Ha, Can you picture the guys out on the town!!!
    
    Mb driving through the high st. on a Sat.night,with the crew
    in the back seats all wolf-whistling at the women,with the sterio
    full blast,all swigging cans of beer and tossing them out the window!!
    
    the sort of crowd you just dont want to bump into......
    
    Mind you,if they EVER tackle my JD them murder will be commited
    in our house,bbbrrr,wot a thought,Lm,mb,tb JD and me!!
    
    Phil
    
    

    Hey Phil,
    
    Like father -- like sons ....! :')
    
    Reza's been climbing the screen doors in Terri and George's house,
    he looks like this big white slug, making his way up to the ceiling
    and then hanging there with his back legs dangling, screaming his
    head off for attention!
    
    Tammi
    

    
    I'm not sure about this F>S's bit,but I do know I'm getting
    rid of our headboard as soon as possible.......
    
    Imagine if you will a condesending pet host,i.e.me,who allows
    his collective walking wrecking crew to sleep in or on the bed
    at night cos 1) they aint got fleas,and 2) it's really cold at night
    and after all they're not so bad really...huh!
    
    The crew know the routine now,we turn the box off and thats the
    start of the race-all out death race up the stairs and into the
    bedroom-and then lets see whats to be attacked before we settle
    down-still mostly socks but anything really-
    
    So,by the time we are ready the cats are sitting on the bed waiting
    for us to get in so they can dive under the covers,but not last
    night you dont bozzo's,me and my lady would like a,aahhmm,cuddle
    if you dont mind (*8-')
    
    do you remember we had this sort of discussion a few months ago?
    Well,we had THREE cats diving down from the headboard onto us having
    a cuddle!!! That put an end to our moment of passion,how can you
    get romantic with a Kamakazee troup flying down on top of you,apart
    from being in absolute hysterics mind.....
    
    Oh well,celibacy has its moments to....

    I'm always amazed to find out who's still on our waterbed when
    we've finished our "cuddle".  Mao has this annoying habit of walking
    all over me, literally, regardless of what I happen to be doing
    at the time.

    re -.1
    
    yeah, Mao has perfect timing. And she tries to comfort/rescue Nancy
    ("What's wrong? Howcome you're making loud noises?") at
    all the wrong times ;-)
    
    jack
    
    

    JACK!  You're embarassing me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

    oh ,pulleeesssee.....enough is enough.....

    
    My God!!! Leave this file alone for a couple of hours
    and the entire world has gone sex-mad!!
    
    I dont care,the next time a deranged kitten lands on my head
    and tries to bite my nose during a cuddle I will refuse to laugh,
    not even if another one sits by my head cleaning itself will I laugh.
    
    No Sir,not me buddy.......

    
    
    	Sasha just stares from the top of the headboard..
    
    	"What *are* you doing?"
    
    	Can't help but laugh....
    

        Well if Flame ever gives me a hard time I'm going to ask him
    what he thinks he's doing with the fake-fur catbed every night
    when he thinks I'm asleep!!  He's neutered, but I think the vet
    forgot to tell him what that means!
      Nancy DC

                                         
    More bedroom stories.......  (*8')= Jack!!!!!
    
    I decided last night to go out with my dad for a quiet drink and
    a chat last night but ended-up dru..  piddled.
    
    My SO stayed in and did her household chores and had gone to bed
    by 10.30 ish so by the time I came home she was fast asleep,away
    with the fairies,stone cold gone.
    
    Well,I was in one of them"Cant control my legs arms or brain" moods
    and spending 15 mins trying to get undressed and being
    as quiet as possible,you know the thing,a herd of raging Elephants
    would have made less noise, I decided that I hadnt spent enough
    time playing with the boys,who by now where sitting up watching
    this drunken thing stagger round the bedroom.Who I might add was
    now singing any little ditti he could remember and positive he was
    one of the worlds leading tennors....
    
    I managed to tie a large hairbrush to the end of one of her stockings
    (Which I found out this morning to be new...BAD NEWS CITY..)
    and proceeded to throw it around the room for the crew to jump on.
    TB was the best if I remember,I have this hazy recollection of
    towing him around the room while he clung on for dear life,while
    lm and mb where more than happy to go for the knot which didnt last
    long anyway,it kept shredding so I HAD to get another stocking...
    
    This must have gone on for about 10 mins. Me singing,the cats leaping
    around the room after a hairbrush and guess who forgot that there
    was someone else in the room????????     Oh my head!
    
    I sort of sobered up when I turned round and saw her leaning on
    her elbow,just looking at me with a look of complete serenity.
    She calmly asked if I had a good night and was there any real reason
    why I had gone completely awol,and would I mind just coming to bed
    as soon as the chimpanzee's tea party was over?
    
    Ahhmm,Do you ever wake up with that morning after the night before
    feeling?
    
    Feeling a little small today...   :-)

    Hey Phil!  I can see that the "kids" are just taking after their
    daddy........

    
    If you could have seen them with the hairbrush though,leaping
    off the bed,all hanging on while I lifted them up in the air
    whilst trying to sing ;
   " Figaro,Figaro,FFFFFFFIIIIIGGGGGAAAARRRRRROOOOOO.... "
    
    Or Queens" Bohemium Rhapsody"
    
    Cats growling,me singing,bottles falling off shelves,stockings ripping,
    Oh do I feel like an idiot. The cats were still asleep in bed when
    I staggered off to work.....   :-)
    
    PPhhiilllll..........
    
    

    
    
    Whew!  I just finished this file.  It started right when I left
    here four months ago and I saw the 300 replies and said well, have
    got to read the m.b. stories!!!  Except now its the m.b., l.m. and
    t.b.!!
    
    Very funny stuff!
    
    F.

    
    
    Why thankyou Miss/Mrs/mr Goldberg!!!
    
    You have just finished reading the alternative notes file on
    cats!!....      
                           ;-)
    
    If it happened for real post it,if it happened and you want to
    "spice it up" Then poetic licence comes into play..
    
    Like the Day MB went hangliding and LM+TB went down the Cresta 
    Run...
    
    Honest,it happened!!!   :-)
    
    Phil
    (glad you enjoyed it!)
    

    
    
    Miss.  My old node was WHATEVER::FRANCINE, now its my last name..
    
    As I said, I left my last job right after MB got bitten by the stray
    cat and you two waterhosed them..!!
    
    Had lots of catching up to do...  (!)
    
    Regards
    
    F., mumma kitty and baby kitty
    
    F.

    Phil:
    
    When do you come over here for that interview for the job in CT?
    
    /tat

    
    I dont know,everything went really quickly at 1st,but now
    I'm STILL waiting to hear a definate date.
    
    Phil------waiting-----

    
    Super flying cats,Batman........
    
    Picture if you will a windswept garden,inhabited only by a force
    10 gale and 3 crazy cats......
    
    Mb is big now,I mean big and mean,eats anything and everything
    and the undisputed territory boss(about 10 miles square!)
    
    So,the wind is howling and the crew are going crazzzzy in the garden
    after the leaves and small bugs that are being blown around.Apart
    that is from MB who's 10ft up in the small pine tree,which is being
    well blown around,like 4ft one way and 4ft the other but still
    he clings on for dear life,watching like a proud lion watching
    over his pack,and trying to look sooo cool(which wasnt hard :-)
    ( He reminded me of these posers you get in nightclubs,leaning against
    the wall trying to be really cool,but absolutly smashed!)
    
    Anyway,I went out in the garden to take a few pikkies of the rats,and
    having a really good laugh watching them grab leaves,when all of
    a sudden........WWWHHHHOOOOOOOSSSSSSHHHHHH....
    
    MB 	went flying past a MACH.4 to land in a heap in the heather bush,
    shaken but ok......just missed my ear I might add........
    
    I asked my friend what happened,and It turned out that there was
    a real good gush of wind,and the tree bent back and pinged MB across
    the garden.........    :-0)))))))
    
    Man.it took 5mins to stop laughing,MR COOL indeed!!!
    
    Phil

    
    
    	Phil,
    
    	he must be one tough kitty!!  I can just picture mb flying
    	through the air....
    
    	I love your stories!!
    
    	JJ
    

    
    If you could see the way he just gets up and swaggers
    around afterwards,and makes a point of swiping something
    to show how tough he really is,that would really make you laugh!!!!!
    
    

    Sounds like a variation of "I meant to do that!"

    
    
    	You took the words right out of my mouth Nancy!!
    
    

    
    I think youre right you know....
    
    We had a quiet,romantic dinner last night,wine,soft music,gentle
    lighting the works....
    
    Everything was going great,right up till the Brandys were out and
    really mellowing out,until I noticed the bottle start to slip across
    the table,with my glass slowly drifting after it(strange I thought,I
    aint drunk that much...) and they both just fell off the end of
    the table.....
    
    We both sat there in a hypnotic state until....
    
    Two little heads popped up from where the glasses had dissapeared
    and quizically looked around for leftovers.....
    
    tb+lm had climbed up the table cloth and dragged the lot down..
    
    How I love my cats........ AMM GONNA KILL MY CREW....
    
    ( Well,maybe next week I will..:-)
    
    Phil

    
    
    A riot!
    
    Just watching the glasses like huh?  8*)
    
    F.

    

    Boy they know you well!  They knew just when they would be
    able to get away with it!
    

    
    One story straight as it happened,no freelance...
    
    MB and lm are in the living room having a kip,when this
    godalmighty cat fight starts up outside the back door.
    
    These two shoot straight outside,MB 1st,and dive into the mass of
    flying fur,no hesitation.
    
    A manky old tom cat was giving tb a good hiding on their patch and
    I jest you not,within 2 mins the old Tom was scrambling for his
    life over the fence with all 3 in hot pursuit.
    
    I've never heard of pack reaction like that,good old boys eh?
    
    Phew,I'd hate to be that Tom.....z
    
    

    .341
    
    Sounds like your brutes put that old tom cat straight!! ;-)
    
    I have 10 cats.  3 spayed females and 7 nurtured males.. well the
    females don't go in much for fighting unless it is to protect the
    space in front of the fire place in the winter time but the males
    are game for one if provoked.
    
    Well we have a ginger tom who lives next door who occasionally comes
    over to try and sneak in our cat flap for a free meal.. last time
    he did I heard this growling on the back porch.. I went out to see
    what was going on to find FIVE of my cats in a line ALL growling
    down this ginger tom!  That poor tom cat did not stand a chance!
    After making a good show of being 'tuff' the ginger cat leapt over
    the fence to forget about any free meals for that day!!!
    
    gailann

    
    
    Fighting cats.......Mike Tysons sparring partners....;-)
    
    Dont you just love it when the wind is howling through you french
    windows,the curtains are blowing through the door,and three cats
    are swinging on said curtains,in and out,in and out...
    
    :-)

    They sound like they're almost HUMAN.
    
    Tam
    

    
    Na,you know the way they hang on with their front legs
    only and hang on for dear life?
    
    P

    
    What to get the guys for firework night?
    
    Rockets I suggested,great they said,Armour piercing? Asked one,
    self propelled war heads asked another?
    
    Rockets are not being brought.
    
    Catherine wheels? said I. Does she? they asked.
    
    So much for Catherine wheels.
    
    Bangers? I asked. Brill. they said..... Dubious about that..
    
    Depth charges(I only thought about this,doesnt bear dreaming about)
    
    Anyway,I'm rambling....They came home late last night after Trick
    or Treating,all drunk and in high spirits(get it!!).
    
    Time to go,I have to get some cash to pay the neigbs.for the damage
    caused last night.....

    What's fireworks night?
    

    
    Also called Bonfire night. It comes from when a Guy called
    Guy Fawkes tried to blow up the houses of Parliament on Nov.5th
     200 hundred odd years ago.
    
    Now we have a night of fireworks and a massive bonfire with
    a "Guy" on top who gets burned.
    
    Everyone get fireworks and all night you can here wwhiizzzz,bang,
    crunch....A bit like your 4th July?
    
    Phil

>    Everyone get fireworks and all night you can here wwhiizzzz,bang,
>    crunch....A bit like your 4th July?
    
Exactly.....of course,our 4th of July also includes mosquitos, sudden
summer rain storms and eating much too much potato salad....

    
    Well there you ge then! Exactly the same except I eat to many
    hot-dogs!!

    Anyone out there?????  I finally got caught up reading all of
    your stories Phil, after being out of work for 2 months.   As
    always, enjoyable and entertaining!                      
    
    Karen (KC)
    
    
                          
    
    
    

    
    Well,I dont know really,I've been watching the guys for
    a while,but theyre staying in a lot cos of the cold ,but they are
    sure not suffering because of it. Eat? They have started eating
    more than ever now,and it is costing a fortune. If its not fresh
    then they dont eat,but they sure have fun when I come home with
    a dead rabbit. It gets skinned and jointed,cooked of course and
    cooled,but the best bit is watching the fat boys grab the skin(In
    the garage only!) and proceed to stalk,attack,jump on,and generally
    butcher the poor bunny!!!!  
    
    Oh,they have started to drag her fluffy Mickey Mouse around the
    house,it wont last long but it stops them chewing my toes for a
    bit.
    
    Later.........

    
    Well,I for one cant wait for the spring to come and the cats spend
    jut a little more time out and about,rather than hanging around
    the house. It is just a little off putting having a shower @ 7.00am,
    after being woken up by 12 paws jumping on the bed,deliCATley hinting
    for food,and struggling downstairs in the cold to feed the brood,to
    stand in a warm shower, relaxing,listening to morning radio,to see
    three little heads poking around the curtian watching you.
    
    ROLL ON THE SPRING.....

    Ah, but our lads are enjoying those spring and summer sports indoors!
    Yes, Loki and Thor have discovered the joys of that great indoor sport,
    newspaper surfing!  What is newspaper surfing, you ask?  Well, that's
    when you leave the Sunday paper sections sitting on a hardwood floor,
    and the boys take a running start from across the room, pounce on a
    section, and go skidding across the floor with pleased expressions!
    Hang twenty!  (Maybe we shoulda named 'em "Moon Doggie" :-)
    

         My Loki likes to dive *under* the newspapers, so that it looks
    like he inside a tent, tunnel or cave (depending on what position he is
    in relation to the paper).  Then Bigfoot comes around and stomps on his
    tail, which is the only part left hanging out.
    
         Loki likes to be under the sheets when I change the bed, too, kind
    of a "kitty burrow".
    
    					- Andrea

    
    Funny things newspapers,my splodge of cats sit on the papers and
    I have to tow them around. Its worth doing just too watch the
    expressions on their faces.
    
    I'm starting to dread the Xmas decorations being put up in a week
    or so. I cant imagine what they are going to do with the tree and
    all the tinsel and stuff. Mb will try and do Tarzan impressions
    from the tree to the floor,hanging on the crape paper.
    AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...;-)
    

    	I moved into my house in August and I decided to put a set of
    glass doors in my fireplace.  When the guy came to install them,
    he had to remove the doors from a heavy plastic bag, so he left
    the bag on the living room rug.  Pixie heard the plastic russle
    while the guy was removing it, so he patiently waited until the
    guy was done and he attacked the plastic bag.  I think next to the
    plastic milk container rings, that that piece of plastic is his
    favorite toy.  I'll be watching tv when all of a sudden this gray
    steak of lightning flashes by and the next thing that I see is a
    cat under that piece of plastic and heaven help little Dixie when
    she trys that.  I mean, he is all over her if she gets under that
    plastic without him being under there!  He is sooooooooo cute crawling
    under that plastic, military style, you really have to be there.
    
    
    
    		Paul, Pixie, and Dixie
    

    re: .357 - Be VERY VERY careful with plastic.  I have never
    allowed my crew to play with plastic bags.  I've always been
    afraid they'd suffocate
    
    re: tinsel - Skip the Tinsel Phil.  Use garland or something else
    less edible.  Tinsel has the same dangers as yarn and string for
    cats.  It can become entangled in the intestine.
    
    I also recommend tieing the tree up so when they climb it it won't
    fall over.  That's what we do.  We also put the plastic, unbreakable
    ornaments on the lower branches.
      Nancy DC
    

    
    Frosty cats....
    
    Well,the 1st expeience of frozen ground sure had the cluster
    in a tizz over the weekend. 3 little cats all waiting to go and
    do their duties in the garden,open door and watch.
    
    I think eack of them should have been issued with a shovel and a
    pick cos their attempts at scrapping the soil only ended up with
    sore paws and amazed looks at the ground,talk about confused;-)

    
    
    Oh,Nancy while I remember,I was going to use steel cable for the
    tinsel,I mean the boys would make short work of anything else.
    
    ;-)
    
    But I would recommend the use of anti-freeze on the garden for the
    little-'uns, mine are starting to bust. ;-)))))
    
    Whats the weather like over there? Its been freezing for the last
    week over here.. last ight was -8c. bbbbrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
    
    Phil.

    Right, I forgot you have to use "Industrial strength" everything
    with that group.
    
    Its been pretty cold around here too.  This morning it was 12 degrees
    Fahrenheit - lets see, 0C=32F  that ought to give you an idea of
    how cold it was.
      Nancy DC

    
    Well,its time to go on a course for the rest of the week but I thought
    I would tell a short story of what happened at my ma's over the
    weekend.
    
    She has my sisters cat staying over,a recouperating tom,along with
    her own cat. Well,the thing is that her cat is very old and has
    this thing about pooping in the bath when she is at work cos she
    cant get out and womt use the litter tray.The other thing that is
    happening is my sisters cat is used to a cat-flap and keeps jumping
    up at the door to come in and head-butting the door where he thinks
    the flap should be.....( real clever cat this..;-) So the answer
    is to put a flap in to cure both problems,so i did.
    
    Ma phoned up yesterday and said they have both got used to the flap,
    in and out all day and night. The only problem is that her cat really
    does use it o.k. So well in fact that she comes in,pads up the stairs
    and poops in the bath,turns round and goes down stairs,out of the
    flap  and into the garden.....Oh well,back to the drawing board...!!!
                           _   _                                           
    bibibibibibibi.........v   v
                             o
                            (_)