Conference misery::feline_v1

    My DejaVu has been acting that way lately too.  I have never (in
    the almost three years that I have had her) handled her roughly.
    She does get chastised when she does something wrong (which is
    rare) and gets lots of love and attention.  She has never been
    one that you could pick up but she does love to climb into your
    lap or under your robe or covers.
    
    Last night, I did see Lightning, my seven year old kitty, playing
    rather rough and reminding DejaVu that Lightning is `Queen of the
    Roost' but that is the first time that I have seen it.
    
    I just figure that DejaVu is my `sensitive' baby.  She plays with
    Thunder (my ten month kitten) and even tries to play with Keisha
    (my overgrown Samoyed) but does scare very easily.  Lately even
    noises that she is used to startle her.  She is also `looking at
    things that aren't there'.  I know because I look where she is 
    looking and see nothing.
    
    I thought she was `just being DejaVu' but maybe something HAS
    happened that I don't know about.  I will try to keep a better
    eye on her to see if anything else is wrong.
    
    Sandi (Lightning, DejaVu & Thunder's mom) (and Keisha's too)
    
    

    It sounds like your cat has undergone a lot of stress lately.
    This in combination with a cat which has led a rough life can
    very easily cause skittish behavior.  One of our dogs was abused 
    and neglected in a previous home and for the first few months 
    in our house she jumped at a lot of things.  We couldn't even 
    tell her "NO" in anything but a whisper without her falling apart.  
    Since then she's gained a lot of confidence and is rarely skittish 
    anymore.
    
    I would suggest that your husband refrain from "patting" her at
    all, at least until she settles down.  Try be calm and reassuring
    around her and above all give her lots of TLC.  After all the 
    change she's been through lately it's not surprising that she's
    getting jumpy.  With time she should settle in just fine.
    
    Good luck,
    Karen, Tristan and Tenzing.

    Since being an orphan, I can associate with your furface.
    Numerous places to live .. numerous people yelling at you.
    Put your feet ON their paws and see how normal you'd be.
    ALL they want is love .. *give it* and they'll show you
    love back.  You like TLC and so do they!
    
    Bj
    

    I agree with the previous responses but also want to add that maybe
    until she calms down, you could use an alternate method of training
    her not to go into off limits territory.  Rather than clapping and
    yelling, which may startle her, why not try the old squirt bottle.
    It has been said here and in several cat behavior books that the
    cat won't associate that type of training method with you.  Therefore
    she may be less jumpy around you and your husband.
    
    Jo

I agree with all previous replies, with one little comment - my Nick has been
with me since he was weaned, has never been slapped, yelled at, or in any
way abused - he has been squirted with the water bottle, but that is the
recommended way....he is also extremely skittish and bolts at the slightest
noise.  He runs from me or my roommate any time we head in his direction,
even though we both are very much desired laps when we sit down - so I know
she isn't hurting him when I'm not around.  I asked the vet and she said,
he's healthy, he's just skittish (after $300 worth of lab and xray work).
He is now 10 years old and I doubt he will ever change - it is just the
way some critters are.  Do try to get your SO to not clap and yell, do
give lots of TLC, etc....just be prepared for the cat not changing much.
You see, Nick has been this way ever since we moved the first time when
he was 7 months old...he hasn't moved since, but he never changed back
to the trusting kitten he was once his world was upset that one time.

    I agree with the no clapping and yelling.  Some cats are just very
    emotionally sensitive.  A neighbor two houses down has been yelling
    at my neighbor's cat to make him stay away, since she doesn't like
    him catching birds in her yard, and poor Toulu is now so traumatized
    that he flees at any sudden movement or sound even from his parents
    or me, his aunt.  This all started months ago and he is still skittish
    like this even though he hasn't been near that other neighbor in
    a long time.
    

    
    I think you should try to split your behaviour into three types
    when dealing with cats,
    
    1. Playing, anything goes as long as the cat is in a playfull mood.
       but if you get a few tramlines thats your problem.
    
    2. diceplin, the cat MUST understand why it is being told off and
       you should always use the same method / say the same thing, ie no.....
       followed by a swift smack at the time of the incedent.
       
    3. Any other time, she should be cuddled, spoilt etc whatever you
       prefer BUT BE CONSISTENT.
    
    
    Best of luck.
    
    
    ANDREW HOARE...
    
    

    Tequila got over her "neuroticism".  All it took was a little extra
    TLC and no more yelling and clapping.  Thanks for all your replies!
    
    Paula

    Glad to hear it!  Some cats are very sensitive to yelling, etc.
    
    Karen, Tristan and Tenzing.