Conference misery::feline_v1

    Donna, I know how you feel about letting them out.  Maybe since
    he's driving you crazy you could let him out only when your home
    so you can keep an eye on him.  Now that Taffy has come back I'm
    afraid to let her out for fear she'll take off again and get lost.
    So I'm going to wait a while longer. (she's starting to drive me
    crazy wanting to go out).  My other two cats that go out, only
    go out when I'm home.  If you ever decide to get another cat maybe
    then you can make it an inside cat.  That's what I did with my last
    three.  I also know what you mean about getting a kitten that was
    taken away from mom to soon, that's why Taffy is like she is.
    Keep us posted with what you decide and if you want to talk please
    call.
    
    Cindy  dtn 223-7512

    I have two adorable siamese cats that I don't want to lose.  We
    to live in a quiet neighborhood, but I tie my cats out side on
    a long engough leach to let them roam, but not get caught in
    anything.  I know this sounds funny, but I couldn't bear to
    lose them in the road, and I watch them when they are tied so
    the dogs don't bother them.  There aren't many dogs in our
    area that are loose, but I found they really adjusted quite
    well to being tied.  Maybe you could do the same, making sure
    its a flat area, so they don't get tangled in anything?
    
    Nancy

    Well, my Nikolas had a similar problem.  I brought him home from
    the Lowell Humane Society - on his cage was a note that he was
    given up because of allergies in the house.  He was 8 months old
    when he found me.  For at least 3 or 4 months, he would cry and
    scratch at the door to go out.  I lived in Lowell on the corner
    of Stevens and Middlesex streeets - VERY , VERY , BUSY STREETS.
    Even if I blieved in letting cats out, I wouldn't have done so
    at this place.  It took Nikki a long time to ajust - but he did
    and he is FINE!  He doesn't even want to go out now.    I did
    what I thought was right for my cat - you will do what is right
    for yours.  I felt guilty because I knew Nikki wanted to go out,
    but I also knew that I was smarter than him and it was my
    responsibility to keep him safe.  I can only relate it to when
    a child "WANTS" to cross and busy street and you say no because
    it's not a safe thing to do. You must make the decision of both
    the child and the cat.  Children & cats & adults can't always
    do what they WANT to do, but we all live through it and do well.
    
    sorry to run on - guess it was the indoor/outdoor issue ....
    
    E.T.

    Oh, God, how this note made me cry because I am Donna's neighbor
    and I am the one who found Sweetpea in the road and had to break the
    news to she and her husband.  What really burns me the most is that
    Sweetpea was wearing a collar and tags and no one cared to stop.
    People were driving around him in broad daylight!  I thought of
    that cat as "one of mine" as he was constantly over my house playing
    with my two kitties and mooching food.  Now I keep looking out the
    window waiting for him to come visit and of course he never does.
    
    I can vouch for the fact that both of us live in a quiet neighborhood
    with the main road being quite a distance away.  How or why he went
    down there we'll never know as he was a neutered cat who didn't
    hunt.  He had a constant need for human attention and would follow
    anyone to get it, probably a result of him being abandoned at such
    a young age.  Our speculation is that he followed a walker/jogger
    and just ended up going too far.
    
    I was over Donna's house last night and witnessed Evan's antics.
    He was crying pitifully by the patio door, pawing frantically at
    it and digging up the rug.  That cat would have tunneled his way
    out the door if he could have!  I know how you feel, Donna, about
    not wanting to let Evan outside.  It is a hard decision to make.
    My feeling is that once a cat has had the freedom to come and go
    as they please, it is cruel to limit their freedom by keeping them
    indoors.  I know a lot of people in this file keep their cats inside
    and would have it no other way, thus trying to persuade you to keep
    Evan in.  And I know after finding Sweetpea, I hold my breath every
    time I open the door for Chauncey and Nikki.  Evan has been used
    to going ouside ever since he was a kitten.  Personally, it broke
    my heart to see him so unhappy last night.  But who knows, maybe
    he'll settle down after awhile.  As a good friend once told me,
    when we lose someone we love, it is instinctive to hold on tighter
    and protect the ones closest to us.  I know that the thought of
    losing Evan is more than you and Paul could bear.  The reality of
    Sweetpea's death still hurts all of us and it will take awhile to
    completely come to terms with it and accept it as an accident. 
    I don't think enough time has passed for you to make a rational
    decision, so for now, I would continue to keep Evan inside (and
    hope you still have a house left a month from now :-) ).  I'm sorry
    but I had to lighten up the note a little so my tears would stop.
    
    Donna - I've said it before and I'll say it again.  Although the
    quantity of Sweepea's life was cut short, the quality of life that
    you gave him was more than most cats have in a lifetime.  Whether
    you realize it or not, you worked hard with him, both through his
    destructive periods as well as meeting all of his demands - and
    believe me, I know how demanding that cat could be when he wanted
    something!!  I could go into a lot of detail regarding what you
    did for him but this note would be way too long!!  I can only say
    this much:  if I had cats to give away, rest assured that I'd give
    you as many as you wanted because I know you would provide them
    an excellent home.
    
    Rest in peace, Sweetpea.  We miss you.
    
    
    /Roberta
    
    

    I am so sorry about your babies.  I changed my first cat, Pussycat,
    from an outdoor to an indoor cat for various reasons, not the least
    of which was my neighbors' cats being hit by cars.  It did take
    afew weeks for him to adjust, and I felt like a monster all the
    time.  Having lots of toys, places where he can snooze and look
    out the window, is a help.  He did adjust very well in the end.
    
    Let me make a note of warning about leaving cats tied up outside
    when yu aren't around to watch over them.  Suppose a dog came along
    and they couldn't get away?
    

Having three cats I have to add my 3cents worth of advice.  I was brought
    up believing that cat are very independent and can take care of
    themselves indoors and out.  Times have changed alot since I was
    young and it isn't any safer out there for cats than it is for us
    now.  By allowing a cat to join our family we are agreeing that
    we will be responsible for that animal.  It is definately much safer
    for a cat to live indoors.  It may mean giving the cat extra attention
    and play time or for some of us it may mean keeping two cats but
    the peace of mind it brings that our pets are happy (and they can
    be) and healthy is well worth it.  Please let me add that two of
    my cats are in/out cats.  This is not by my choice but it is the
    way it happened.  The third cat is an indoor cat.  I inherited this
    cat from relitives who adopted it when the original owners got sick
    of it.  She had lived totally outside for almost two years.  She
    has come a long way for a wild cat and is a charming and loving
    purrsonality now.  She has taken to the indoors well although it
    was difficult at first.  One of the other two had minor toe surgery
    last year and had to be kept in for a week.  By the end of the week
    he had adjusted well to being a house cat.  There are ways around
    the situation; a spray bottle of water works wonders and doesn't
    cause physical or psychological problems.  There is also a product
    on the market that connects to a pet door or other opening to allow
    your cat to go outside while being protected.  For more info contact
    me at home (603)547-6890.  My indoor cat is available for adoption
    to the right situation.  3 cats 2 dogs 2 birds and a husband are
    a bit much for a 4 room house!!
    maryanne  macdonald

    I'm very sorry to hear about your loss.  Losing a kitty that is
    loved and wanted, no matter what age, is a very difficult thing.
    When I adopted Charm, she was indoor/outdoor.  Since I lived on
    a rather busy road, I opted to change her to indoor only.  She has
    adapted pretty well to indoor life in the 7-8 months we've had her.
    She doesn't try to bolt out an open door, and doesn't complain very
    much (only once in a while if it's *really* nice outside ;-).  Having
    warm, sunny places to sleep, toys to play with, and lots of affection/
    attention when you get home will do the trick for almost any cat.  
    Perhaps you might consider getting another indoor only companion
    for your cat after some time passes.
    
    No cat can ever replace another, but it is often surprising how
    far your heart can stretch to accomodate a new furry friend (oh,oh,
    dab,dab...).
    
    Mary-Michael 
    

    I'm sorry about your loss.
    
    I second the motion that another cat might help.  If there were
    a kitten or other indoor cat to play with, he probably wouldn't
    mind so much being in.  Tristan was an outdoor kitten when we 
    got him at 4 months of age.  I know, he was still very young, 
    but he's never seemed to mind being in, with Tenzing and 2 dogs
    to play with and keep him company.  
    
    It also helps to actively encourage games with them.  Get some
    toys and when you seem him trying to get out, distract him with
    a dangling string to chase, or a catnip mouse.  In other words, 
    try to make the indoors more attractive to him.
    
    Good luck,
    Karen.

    Evan is getting alittle better.  I've been tempted to let
    him out a few times but my husband is adamant about not
    letting Evan out.
    
    I agree that another kitty is a good idea it's just that
    I'm not ready yet.  I need more time to put Sweetpea's
    death in perspective.
    
    Thanks for all the help.
    
    Donna
    

    Hi Donna,
    
    Glad to hear that Evan is doing better.  I drove by your house this
    weekend and saw him staring out the window with this forlorn look
    in his eyes, really cute!
    
    I had a feeling Paul wasn't going to budge in his decision since
    Evan is his favorite cat in the whole world.
    
    You'll know when the time is right for another cat, don't rush it.
    
    /Roberta
    

    
     When my cats were young, 5 months, we began to let them out for
    an hour or two on weekends, only when we were outside with them.
    My husband and I , or both of us would follow them around and 
    when ever the kitten got even close to the road we'd chase them
    away from the road, yell, growel, whatever it took to *scare* the
    animal from being near the road. This taught our cats to play in
    the woods, lord knows there is danger in the woods, but not as much
    ,I feel, as in or near the road!  I think this tactic works, when carried
    out with a young animal.  Every time we see Yaddie or Pippin heading
    toward the road or even near it we go after her! They know it's
    bad! just like they know to come when we call! Now I know as well
    as you know that a cat has a mind of its own, but I belive you
    do have control over that.  It's been proven in my household.
    My cats don't go near the road as often as they would if we hadn't
    done this.  I didn't even belive in this when my husband started
    it with Yaddie.  I though he was crazy trying to "teach" a cat
    ----but give them some credit - they're SMART! Take advantage of
    that fact and when they are young - YELL AT THEM TO "GET OUTTA THE
    ROAD!!!!! 
     

    
      ....and something that I forgot to add, may your beloved pets
          rest peacefully.  You have my sympathy, after all my efforts
          I know it could still happen and I feel for you.
                                                         
    N
      

    Losing one of your best friends is very difficult.  It hurts so
    much.  I just lost my only kitty a few weeks ago.  She was extremely
    intelligent and loving.  She was terrified of cars/roads, etc. 
    She knew not to go near the road.  But it happened.
    
    We just adopted two cats last week.  I honestly will never forgive
    myself for letting Kitty Lou be an outdoor cat.  Nothing can ever
    replace her.  I swear I will never again have an outdoor cat.  Cats
    are such great friends; you just have to be responsible enough to
    know what is best for them.  I hope you will consider this with
    your present/future cats.
    
    We live in a very remote area (East Templeton); ever heard of it?
    Its not busy at all.  I thought it would be safe to have an outdoor
    cat.  But if you can get to your house by road, your cat can get
    in the road, for whatever reason.  Your cat could be chased, could
    be following a bird, or see another kitty friend on the other side
    of the street.  It happens.  Hopefully you will not put yourself
    through this agony again.  I know I won't.
    
    Keep your spirits up,
    
    Cathy

    I'm really sorry about Kitty Lou.