Conference misery::feline_v1

    What to expect??
    
    I would expect one of them to hide while the other picks on them,
    in your case I expect little Niniane to do the picking as she was
    there first! (It's not a question of size but of priority.)
    
    How long do you wait till you decide they are not compatible??
    
    How about 20 years ?    8^)}

    
    Have fun and enjoy 
    
    Best wishes 
    
    Brian

    
    It does take some time to get the kittys to the point where they
    are comfortable together.  Over the years I have introduced many
    cats into my house on a temporary basis  until they were placed.
    Only 1 cat refused to get along with the others and he had been
    outside for many years.
    
    Give it a chance and patience.  I'm sure it will work out for all
    of you!
    
    

    How great that you're giving an older cat a home!
    
    I don't know who will be the picker and who the pickee initially.
    Khalife, a little black imp, partly Siamese, who lives next door to me,
    was the aggresser when he first met Toulumne, a magnificent orange
    medium-haired cat who lives next door on the other side.  Toulu
    was at least 4 times as big as Khalife at the time.  Now Toulu thinks
    he is Khalife's Dad, and they play in my yard all the time.
    
    I have heard of cats getting along well within a few hours, some
    within a few days or a week.  Then there were my guys, who slowly
    got better over the course of two months, and are now buddies. 
    As long as you introduce them slowly, give them both lots of
    reassurance, and probably keep them separated initially while you're
    away at work, I'm sure things will eventually work out.
    

    I'm beginning to feel better about bringing Charm in.  Thanks for
    your help and advice!  This is the game plan for the week-end:
    
    Charm is coming home Friday night, so we have the entire week-end
    to referee.  Charm will have her own feed dishes and litter box
    in the basement. I'll just basically show them to her and let her
    be.
    
    Niniane's food and litter will be moved into our bedroom for a few
    days until they get along.  I felt that maybe Niniane will feel
    better about the whole thing if she has the initial perk of sleeping
    with Mom and Dad for a couple of nights.  Once they are used to
    each other, Niniane's food and litter (along with Niniane) will
    go back to the basement.
    
    When we are out during the week-end and probably for the first couple
    of days during the first week, Niniane will be in the bedroom and
    Charm in the cellar during the day.
    
    Charm is a gentle lady and so is Niniane, but they are both fiesty,
    so I'm thinking there may be a few initial fireworks before things
    calm down.  Charm is very healthy and well cared for, and has received
    regular vet care, so I have few qualms about bringing her into our
    home.  The trial period is for two weeks.  I felt that would be
    sufficient time for them to at least start getting used to each
    other.  I'm a little worried about comparitive size (Niniane is
    still a kitten, and Charm is *not* a small Siamese) and strength,
    but I feel better having read the previous replies.  Besides I'll
    have the "kitty adjustment tool" (aka plant sprayer) handy the first
    few days to quell any physical attacks.  I'm hoping there'll just
    be a lot of growling, hissing and general Siamese complaining.
    
    Thanks for you help, and I'll keep you posted!
    
    Mary-Michael

    There are lots of other notes in here too discussing
    "introduction of a new kitty", so read them too and
    that will give you an idea of what to expect.
    
    I discourage you from playing referee, unless one cat
    is in true physical danger.  They need to work out the
    issues of dominance themselves and your refereeing will
    only interfere and delay that.
    
    Good luck,
    Donna

    There was a PBS show on a couple of years ago "Cats and Dogs" and
    one of the episodes dealt with bring a new cat into an already existing
    cat home.  Basically, it said to let the cats do their own thing,
    and to IGNORE the new cat for a while and give the existing cat
    lots of extra love.  The cats should be used to each other within
    a few days.  I know this sounds hard and awful, but that's what
    the suggestion was.
    
    Good luck.
    Mary
    

    re.5  
    that is what i did basically.
    i had a seal-point (cindy) and i brought another kitten home for
    "her". cindy sat on top of furniture for a week hissing and scratching
    and everyhting(including me),boy was she mad!!!!!!!
    i think after a few tussles about on the carpet they were the best
    of friends.
    the thing i remember most was that cindy was the most upset with
    us.tom and i could not even get near her.
    
    kelly

    
    When we brought Sunny home for Sandy, our vet strongly recommended
    letting them work things out for themselves.  Also he suggested
    that we only put out one set of food and water bowls so that they
    would have to share.  I really think that they got along so well
    so fast because they had to share.  They were best buddies in about
    a week and a half.  Incidentally, Sunny (the younger and much smaller
    cat) won the top of the pecking order.  Sandy is her loyal servant.
    What a pair!                        

    Sometimes it takes quite a while for cats to get used to each other.
    When I brought Tiki (8 weeks) home for Sabrina (5 years), it took
    almost a year for Sabrina to accept him.  Nothing violent, just
    hissing and animosity.  Now they are great friends, sleeping together
    and washing each other.  It's a good idea for you to keep Charm
    in a cage for a few hours when you get her home.  This way Niniane
    can get used to her smell.  However, I don't recommend that you
    ignore Charm...just give Niniane a little more attention than usual.
    
    GOOD LUCK!!! I know it will work out for you, and your cats will
    be very happy having a playmate!!

    We, too, had second thoughts after bringing Mercedes (10 weeks old)
    into the house where Figaro (6 years old) was queen.  It has now
    been 5 months and they are finally starting to get along (sort of).
    Figaro "tolerates" Mercedes a little more every day.  
    
    I had really almost given up hope.  Figaro was a very mild mannered,
    affectionate kitty who became very shy and cranky when he came into
    the house.  The LAST thing in the world I wanted to do was change
    Figaro's personality.  I'm glad that we've waited it out.  I think
    that with time (maybe another 5 months), they may be found playing
    together.  
    
    One of the biggest problems seems to be that Mercedes is just a
    bundle of energy, darting everywhere, attacking anything, and Figaro
    was very accustomed to a two human, working household (aka quiet!)
    
       ^_^
      (>.<)
       ) ( Jeannie

    When Miilo acquired me back in early November, Maggi was twelve
    years old, had been an only cat for five years, and an only pet
    for two [her dog died, please see note elsewhere].
    
    While Maggie had been around other cats in her youth, she had never
    liked them -- Maggie has been a dog-person all her life, I guess
    because she finds them easier to boss around than people, and far
    easier to boss than other cats.
    
    Anyway, when Milo came home Maggie was so angry with me that words
    cannot describe it.  She would not eat anything I gave her, she
    would only eat if my husband fed her. She would not look at me,
    she would not allow me to touch her. She would leave any room I
    entered. This lasted three weeks.
    
    She never made a move against Milo.  The worst was growling or hissing
    at him if he got too close.  She didn't even raise a tooth or claw
    to him when he jumped up in her face and scratched her eye.
    
    I, of course, thought that my life was over.  My darling princess
    hated my guts and it was all my fault.  I never considered getting
    rid of Milo, he was deliriously happy worshipping the 'older woman'
    from afar [and sometimes up close when she wasn't looking], he had
    these two people making house payments for him, two sorts of food
    to choose from,...  But I felt terribly guilty.
    
    To make a long story short...they haven't precisely made friends.
    Maggie has gone from looking at him with the 'I wish you would die'
    glare to the 'I'm busy get out of my face' look.  She doesn't avoid
    me, in fact seeks me out when she knows he's elsewhere.  She'll
    turn on him and chase him when she's tired of being chased -- he
    LOVES it when she does this and meeps at her when she stops.  Every
    day she re-asserts some of herself and recovers more of her territory
    from him.  The latest VERY positive sign was coming around the corner
    and seeing Maggie play 'rolling around in the string' when she thought
    no one could see.  [She rarely likes interractive play -- she didn't
    enjoy it as a kitten either -- preferring to play by herself].
    
    Cats are different; just like people.  [I never got completely used
    to my brother and he was around for three years...]
    
      Annie

    Well, tonight's the big night.  I go and get Charm this evening.
    Thanks to everyone who gave me advice.  Believe me, I'll probably
    try all of it over the next few days ;-)  !!  Niniane had a vet's
    appointment on Wednesday and I talked to the vet, and he said
    since Niniane's only 4 1/2 months and the older cat is the new cat
    (rather than the other way around) there might not be as much
    trouble, especially if Nin hasn't completely forgotten her litter-mate
    days (there were 17 of them - 3 queens gave birth over a three month
    period).  I hope so.  Ninny is such a nice little kitty, I'd hate
    for her personality to change drastically (except maybe to weed
    a little of the brat out of her!).
    
    I'll keep you posted on the fireworks.
    
    Thanks again,
    
    Mary-Michael

    Well, the kitties seem to be doing ok!  Charm is adjusting
    pretty well to her new environment, and except for hissing and
    growling there have been no casualties as yet.  Niniane seems a
    lot happier, and follows Charm everywhere. As a matter of fact,
    *I* feel a little neglected because Niniane gets such a charge
    out of Charm!  Charm doesn't feel quite as benevolant towards
    Niniane yet, but the hissing distance seems to shrink a little
    each day as they get used to each other.  
    
    So far, I'm very glad we made the decision to get another cat!
    Now my husband and I have a cat for each lap in the evening.
    What more could you ask for? ;-)
    
    Mary-Michael