Conference misery::feline_v1

    Honey pats my arm, too, but I can also get "kisses" from him.  I'll
    ask him for a "kiss" and he tills his head, flattens his ear, and
    rubs my cheek with the side of his face.  Sometimes, he'll indicate
    he wants a "kiss" by patting my arm and getting into the tilled
    head position.  Of course, being a BRAT, he will sometimes turn
    his face from me when I ask for a "kiss".  I guess he doesn't want
    me getting too secure!!
    
    Mary

    tee hee. me too. when i come home.. Pookie is right there waiting..
    we turn and run,run run down the hall to the water bed.. we jump
    up.. get out comb.. and meowr..MEOWR...and she takes her paw rubs
    my cheeks and my arm.. then the combing commences.. for a good 
    1/2 hour.. this isa 3times a day ritual.. and heaven forbid that
    anyone interupts us...meowr!!!!!!!!! I want my mummy!!!!.. leave
    us alone...right now... go away... no dont anwer the phone.... heaven
    forbid.. then she settles down and takes anap for a bit.... it is
    sooo funny.. my s/o was just amazed!!!....he was watching our grooming
    session one nite and Pookie just "talked and whined until  he left
    the room.. she was incensed to think that my s/so would interrupt
    our time together to ask about  someting as mundane as  Food...
    moewr...
    regards
    kate

    Sweetie "pats" too, to tell me that he wants something:  please
    lift up the blanket so that I can curl up underneath;  it's morning,
    isn't it time you got up and fed us before we starve?

	 Becky comes  up  and pats me on the arm or knee to indicatethat
     she  is  in  "dire  need"  of  attention. Joshy doesn't bother with
     subtleties  -  he  kust sticks his head under my arm/hand and butts
     rignt into whatever I am doing.

    Annie - please fill me in -
    I didn't know "face rubs" was establishing dominance. I thought it
    was just affection. Reading the note again - maybe it is the "face butts"
    that estabish dominance?? I never thought about it - but I guess
    that could very well be possible.
    
    Thanks --                                                
    Pat
    

    Face rubs don't establish dominance.  Merlin, my nutty genius, thinks
    that my chin is siomething he can sockle on (a not very pleasant
    sensation, BTW).  He also has an active imagination and is some
    of a coward.  He will face-rub me, then settle down to do chin work
    while I'm watching TV.
    
    Merlin dominate anything larger than a mouse. A laugh!
    
    Steve Kallis, Jr.

    Keeping in mind that I was raised, by dogs AND cats, I will try
    to enlighten -- or at least explain.
    
    Cats and dogs, while very different in outlook, both get in your
    face to establish dominance.  Dominance can take many forms:
    intimidation, parenting, having the upper hand...  Allowing another
    creature to get face-to-face is a cat or dog's acceptance of dominance
    -- either mutual or complete -- by that other creature.
    
    While any furry being that has ever owned me will tell you I lost
    the upper hand quite early in the relationship, they will also tell
    you that I have my limits.
    
    From an early age, I rub/butt faces with my nose/cheek/forehead,
    imitating maternal behaviour. In an older animal, I rub and pet
    its face with my hands over time bringing my face closer and closer
    until I can use my face. The benefit for me is that my furry children
    feel warm and loved by 'mother' but I can generally get right in
    their faces to make a disciplinary point.  Another big benefit for
    me is that 'mother' can continue to enjoy nuggles that other mere
    humans are not allowed due to dignity issues and the like.
    
    For the most part, I allow the cats free access to my face as well.
    [Dogs tend to be a bit more rough and also seem to out-grow the
    need to nuzzle your face, but again that varies]
    
    When one of my animals has felt I have mis-behaved [i.e. slamming
    the door on my husband, or yelling tooo loudly, or over-slept] they
    have always parked themselves right in my face to let me know about
    it. When I am depressed, my furry children, especially Maggie, exhibit
    maternal face rubbing behaviour.
    
      Annie
    
    

    re. -1  
    
    As Steve said, I really don't believe that's true for cats.
    In shows I've seen and books I've read, the face rubbing bit
    is for marking/establishing territory, not for dominance.
    The cats forehead contains some sort of secretions and all
    the face rubbing that cats do against many objects, humans
    included, is to mark territory.  Though I suppose in a way
    this could be considered a method of trying to be dominant?
    Kind of like ... "this is my lamp shade I'm marking up here,
    not yours!".
    
    Donna

    I will retreat from the designation 'dominance' -- perhaps 'ownership'
    is or 'one-up bonding' or 'maternal pre-eminence' would be a more 
    correct term.
    
    I do know from animal behaviour studies conducted, that the 'face'
    is a real personal space issue with both canines and felines --
    not to mention people and other primates.  I also know that I was
    encouraged to 'establish my pre-eminence' with a very battered and
    hostile cat by this face-oriented behaviour by an animal behaviourist
    on faculty at the Texas A&M Veterinary School.
    
    Cats and dogs experience this differently and, primarily because
    of the adding marking capability owned by the cat, exercise this
    behaviour differently. Marking the coffee table is only necessary
    if the scent is gone away.  Rubbing the back of the head under mother's
    neck is an entirely different behaviour more to be likened to needing
    reassurance.
    
    In my previous response, I indicated that the behaviour I was emulating
    was to exert a maternal dominance.  If 'maternal pre-eminence' would
    be more acceptable, that's fine.
    
    I in no way consider myself an expert in this area; but I have accepted
    the wisdom and advice of experts with what seemed to me to be proven
    track records [i.e. genuine caring, advice born out over time and
    a multitude of individuals]
    
      Annie

    
    My Max & Daisy are both very affectionate, sometimes standing up
    on their hind legs to give me "kisses" (face rubs actually).  Max
    always comes to bed with me at night and my husband who always
    comes up afterward finds Max laying on my chest like a Sphinx,
    nose to nose with me.
    
    Daisy, on the other hand, is so protective of us or the house or
    whatever, that when she sees someone through the window she actually
    growls like a dog (she's never spent time with a dog to know what
    a dog's growl sounds like)!  She also gets into bed between my
    husband & I sometimes, flat on her back, front paws up over the
    covers, like she's imitating us.
    
    They are too much.  I couldn't imagine being without them!
    
    Sue
    

    Re: .11
    
    Holly and Sweetie are growling watch-cats, too, although once Holly's
    been properly introduced she wraps herself around the visitor's ankles
    and demands to be petted.  (Sweetie prefers the safety of the back
    bedroom or closet while there are invaders in the house.)
    

    THE most affectionate cat I have ever met was one of my 'foster
    children' that I ended up adopting [actually it was more of "I'll
    find him a home" but then I met him in person and there was never
    any question that his home was with me]
    
    His name was Tuffy.  He was a humongous not-very-quality multi-grey
    Persian who would actually sit on the arm of the couch with an arm
    around my neck occasionally leanng over to nibble my ear or rub
    my cheek.  He was an undercovers cat who tried so hard to be sneaky
    -- stealthily creeping up on us and insinuating himself between
    the sheets while we were asleep, but then becoming so blissfully
    content that his Cheyne-Stokes purring would wake us up.  He and
    Maggie would have arguments over my drowsy form in the mornings.
    She: "Motherrrrr, get up or you'll be late for work!"  He:  "Just
    five more minutes, Mom. [snuggle, snuggle]"
    
    When Rick and I were busy, he would just sidle up to one of the
    other warm fuzzies around the house.  If no one invited him to cuddle
    he would often pick up one of smaller cats by the neck, drag him/her
    off into a corner, toss an arm over and groom it from one end to
    the other and then fall asleep in such a way that the captive had
    to be sly to get away without waking him.
    
    He particularly liked the Rottweiler, but experienced some frustration
    when Levi didn't want to be affectionate [having come to the conclusion
    that a twenty pound cat can't do much in the way of coercion of
    a one-forty pound dog].
    
      Annie

Re: .11

Imagine!  Two growling Daisy's in one NOTES file!

My Daisy isn't overly affectionate (I think I wrote that up somewhere in this
file) although she will rub up against me.  The only thing that makes her
particularly affectionate is the thought of food, so I get lots of attention
whenever I'm in the kitchen.  

However, she growls at loud noises outside - cars mostly.  For some reason, 
both of my cats are terrified by the phone and doorbell.  Daisy also growls
at the doorbell and then goes scampering away.  It took me a long time to
figure out where the growling was coming from.

Pam

    
    
    I've got a question regarding cats and the sex of their owners.
    
    I've noticed that the male, Max much prefers me and is very
    affectionate to me, while Daisy, the female, is very affectionate
    towards my husband.
    
    The female is USUALLY indifferent towards me and Max behaves 
    just as indifferent towards my husband.  They've both been fixed
    but I wonder why they seem to prefer the "opposite sex" in owners.          
                                                                 
    No, I'm not nuts!!  And thanks for any ideas on why my kitties behave
    this way.
    
    Sue

    Don't know why they behave this way, but Silver does the same thing.
    There are only women living in the house.  (Silver and Tabby are
    also female).  Both cats seem to take a liking to me.  EXCEPT for
    when my Fiance comes over.  Silver seems to know when he is in the
    house.  Within 10 minutes after he walks in the door she is either
    sitting on his lap or has jumped up on his shoulder and PURRS like
    anything.  This is great for the self image. :-)  I feed her, I
    clean her litter box, she sleeps with me at night.  Then she prefers
    to go to my fiance rather than me.  Oh well.
    
    Holly

re: 1082.15
    
>    I've noticed that the male, Max much prefers me and is very
>    affectionate to me, while Daisy, the female, is very affectionate
>    towards my husband.

>    but I wonder why they seem to prefer the "opposite sex" in owners.

Sex (usually) has nothing to do with it.  Cats are individuals, and have 
their own preferences.  In my house, there are some cats who prefer me, and 
some who prefer my wife, and some who prefer other cats.  There is no 
correlation to sex.

Ray

    Kyrielle has a very unusual way of showing affection.  She bites
    your nose when she likes you.  When I was showing her, she would
    have to bite my nose on the way back from each ring.  And if she
    made a final... I would be there waiting to thank the judge and
    Kyrielle would be grabbing at my nose with her front paws and 
    screeching for a little nip!  Very unusual cat.  Our niece moved
    in with us in January and finally feels like part of the family...
    Kyrielle bit her nose for the first time last week!
    
    As far as cats not being "sex" oriented towards their people, I
    beg to differ.  Both Kyrielle and Joui are all over Ken everytime
    they come into heat.  I am sure other breeders can relate similar
    stories.  How do they know he is a he?  Anyway, it can be quite
    embarrasing if company happens to be over.  They actually fight
    over Ken.
    
    Jo