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Conference misery::feline_v1

Title:Meower Power is Valuing Differences
Notice:FELINE_V1 is moving 1/11/94 5pm PST to MISERY
Moderator:MISERY::VANZUYLEN_RO
Created:Sun Feb 09 1986
Last Modified:Tue Jan 11 1994
Last Successful Update:Fri Jun 06 1997
Number of topics:5089
Total number of notes:60366

1004.0. "Are we doing the right thing ?" by SHIRE::CEHRS () Mon Jan 04 1988 07:40

    I am looking for some input of you feliners who I 
    know all love your furry friends and take very good care
    of them. Here is my situation. I have two cats. One female
    over thirteen years old and one male approximately eleven
    and a half years old. I had them both from the animal shelter
    here in Geneva. The one this note is concerned with is Blackie
    the male cat. Blackie was repeatedly thrown against a concrete
    wall when he was about eight weeks old by a person (if you can 
    call him that...) who tried to kill him that way. Someone
    brought him to the shelter, he was still "sort of alive" and
    the shelter called me to come and pick him up, because they
    did not have the time take care of him and would have had to
    put him down right away. I brought him to the vet immediately
    and treated him for weeks (from all sorts of ailments, like
    dehydration, undernourishment, etc.) and he came through.
    However, he had sustained some permanent damage to his brain
    which resulted in him only being able to partially control his
    hind-legs (i.e. he can only jump the height of a chair, cannot
    climb a tree, cannot trot, but only walk or gallop, etc.). This
    did not hinder him from having quite a happy life until now.
    He adjusted very well to his handicap. Now comes the problem
    we are having: Blackie has become senile (mentally incompetent).
    The way this demonstrates itself is that he has almost totally
    forgotten most of the normal routines (like toilet training,
    feeding times, etc.) which he has been used to all his life.
    I have had him thoroughly checked out by two veterinarians who
    both have declared him physically fit, but mentally gone. The vets
    and I agreed that Blackie should be kept alive, provided he still
    enjoys it (i.e. he still recognizes us, the other cat, still purrs,
    still likes to eat and groom himself and play) and provided he is
    not aflicted with a major physical disorder. I have now set him
    up on one of our guest bedrooms (all layed out with plastic!!!)
    where he has his basket, a bed some toys and of course a large
    window to look out. I go to see him four/five times a day to pet
    him, talk to him, feed him, and of course clean up behind him.
    He seems to be happy with this arrangement and although he is a
    lot of work (and I cannot ask anybody else to look after him,
    which means in the foreseeable future we cannot go away on vacation)
    so am I. Sometimes, however, I cannot but ask myself the question
    on whether or not we are doing the right thing with him, for his
    sake. What do you all think ? Thanks.
    Martha
    
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1004.1SIMUL8::RAVANI got my facts blurrin'Mon Jan 04 1988 11:5415
    I think you're already a candidate for the "Saint Francis" award;
    you've given a tormented kitten eleven happy years that he wouldn't
    have had.
    
    As for the decision - it is a tough one, and only you can make it.
    My opinion would be that as long as *all* of you are leading happy,
    fulfilled lives, keep on as you are; but if it gets to the point
    where keeping Blackie comfortable is draining the energy from everyone
    else, it might be kinder to let him go instead of working yourself
    to desperation.

    In any event, someone who cares for animals as much as you must
    will certainly do the right thing.

    -b
1004.2Bless you32096::BURLEWPurr is my favorite sound!Mon Jan 04 1988 15:017
    Bless you for taking Blackie from the shelter and for loving him
    enough to care for him now.  I'd keep on caring for him unless he
    seems to be in pain or unhappy.  But, as .1 said, only you can make
    the decision.
    
    
    Ande, Sherlock and Serena's mom
1004.3The "right" thingRATTLE::LANDRYMon Jan 04 1988 15:1621
    You must be on heck of a person to have given so much (and still
    are) to that poor baby.
    
    My opinion (like everybody else said, it's your decision) I would
    put the little sweetie down.  I own 2 beautiful babies, and I have
    certain "rules".  If one should ever not be able to
    eat, take care of bodily functions, or is in pain, I have made up
    my mind that I would put my kitty out of its misery, even tho it
    will kill me. 
    
    You say that Blackie purrs, etc, but a vet once told me, an animal
    can take alot of pain before you even know it is hurting.  So even
    tho Blackie seems to be happy, maybe he/she is putting up with the
    pain because he/she doesn't want to let you down.  Don't we wish
    they could talk??
    
    Well, you are going to need all the support you can get, and I hope
    that you can find it in your heart to do the "right" thing.  So
    far, you did a wonderful job, so I am sure the decision you make
    will be the "right" thing.  My prayers are with you.
    
1004.4AIMHI::UPTONMon Jan 04 1988 16:4818
    
    
    	I think what you have done in the past and are doing today are
    admirable.  The only question I would ask myself in this situation
    is - does Blackie still have quality of life.  If he is in a
    separate room without the other cats and you for hours, is he
    really happy?  As far as purring goes - cats who have been hurt
    badly and in terrible pain will purr.  It does not mean they are
    content and happy.  We too had to make a decision with our 16 yr.
    old male - it was painful and we still miss me, but he wouldn't
    have lived a good life the way he was.  Only you can make the
    decision, but really soul search that what you are doing is the
    best for Blackie and not that you hate to let him go.  Remember,
    if you love me - let him go.
    
    	Our thoughts are with you...
    
    	
1004.5AIMHI::UPTONMon Jan 04 1988 16:498
    
    
    	re 1004.4
    
    	Sorry slip of the fingers - should have wrote:
    
    	If you love HIM - let him go.
    
1004.6VAXWRK::DUDLEYMon Jan 04 1988 17:4425
Hi Martha!   I'm sorry to hear about Blackie, he is such a sweetie.  How
	soon after your relocation to Europe did this begin?  I'm just
        wondering if the stress of the move was the instigator?  How do
        you determine mental incompetence anyway, beyond symptoms?  Are
        there any scientific means?   How does the vet know that Blackie's
        incontinence is due to mental, as opposed to physical, deteriora-
        tion?

        If you were still living in Stow, I would be happy to cat-sit for
        Blackie and pick up after him, after all, it would only be a little
        worse than what he used to do when you went away. (-:

        I think that if you really think that Blackie is still happy and
        enjoying his life, you should continue with what you are doing until
        you feel the time has come when you can no longer continue.  You will
        know when that time arrives, just as I believe you will know, if or 
	when the time arrives, when Blackie is no longer happy with this
        arrangement.  Either way, I know it's futile to say you should not
        feel guilty whatever the decision, it seems inevitable for those who 
        go the furthest 'above and beyond the call of duty' (as would most of
        the members of this conference).  Try to be consoled with the know-
        ledge that you have done and will do what is best for Blackie.

Best Wishes,
Donna
1004.7FEELINGSAIMHI::OFFENMon Jan 04 1988 17:577
    I understand the dilemma you are in and the feelings that must be
    tearing you apart.  You are ONE HECK OF A LADY.  Blackie has had
    eleven beautiful years with you.  You WILL make the right decision,
    whichever it is. 
    
    Sandi
    
1004.8BUSY::MAXMIS11Serendipity 'R' usMon Jan 04 1988 18:578
    
    If you listen to the kitty, he will tell you when the time comes.
    My Missy was over twenty years old when she said "Mom, it's time".
    I went thru a similar heart tug of war for some time before she
    told me.  Then my course became clear.  That's how I know that I
    was not a minute too early or late.
    
    Marion
1004.9I'm serious about thisVAXWRK::SKALTSISDebMon Jan 04 1988 19:349
    Martha,
    
    There was an article in one of the cat magazines several years ago
    about a breeder in NY whose shouse was furnished with antiques and
    persian rugs. She diapered the cats. Honest.
    
    If Blackie is otherwise OK, why not give it a try?
    
    Deb
1004.10SHIRE::CEHRSTue Jan 05 1988 10:1111
    .9
    Deb,
    I cannot try to put diapers on Blackie. He only has partial control
    over his hindlegs (which means his walk is very wobbly and keeping
    the equilibrium is sometimes hard for him) and this would definitely
    impair the little control he has. Besides, all our chinese carpets
    and a great deal of our furniture (sofas, armchairs, etc.) have
    already taken a real beating from his "behaviour" before he was
    confined to one room. Thanks anyhow.
    Martha
    
1004.11You're doing great!CYGNUS::KENNEYTue Jan 05 1988 12:4214
    Martha,
    
    My feeling is that you are a wonderful owner and have found an
    acceptable solution to your problem.  As long as Blackie is happy,
    I would just continue what you are doing.  If he gets along well
    with your other cat, perhaps you could leave them both in the room
    together and Blackie will have more company than your visits.
    
    Perhaps another area of the house would be less of a problem to
    keep clean -- like a bathroom, perhaps, with Blackie's bed and toys.
    
    Good luck.
    
    Elizabeth
1004.12You're doing fine31093::WASHEnjoying the experienceThu Jan 14 1988 06:3916
    Hi Martha.
    Sounds to me like you're doing the "right thing" already - in other
    words, I echo the votes already cast in this topic. I tend to agree
    with Marion's reply (.8), listen to and observe Blackie, he will
    give you better advice than we could. It may seem bizarre to the
    non-pet owner, but we all know that our pets can communicate to
    us in a language inherent in our relationship to them. You have
    grown attached to Blackie and can "read" his responses, I think
    you will know if/when it's time to let him go.
    
    Until such a time, enjoy the company and companionship that he
    offers - if it becomes a burden to sustain his life, then consider
    the alternatives. Sounds to me like Blackie has lived a fruitful
    existence in your care, so be content with all your future decisions
    regarding him.
                                  Marvin