Conference misery::feline_v1

    Chris,
    
    Cats are similar to people in having different personalities (or
    catanalities, as our cattery is called).  I've seen kittens from
    the same litter treated equally with love respond quite differently
    with some being cuddle cats and others not.
    
    Shadow was stand-offish with me when she belonged to my friend.
     Now she belongs to me and wants to be stroked and cuddled. Sometimes
    the personality changes and the little beasts mellow out.
    
    Frank

Re .0

You've described my cat Daisy perfectly.  I got her from a shelter and they
estimated her age at 7 weeks (which is too young to be separated from her
mother).  When I got her home, Daisy decided that my other cat (Shamus, who
was all of 5 months old at the time) was her mother and tried to suckle from
him.  Whenever she wanted cuddling, she would go to Shamus.

She's now 1-1/2 years old and is a little more affectionate to me - she likes
to rub up against me alot to mark me with her scent.  But she still panics when
picked up and stuggles to be free.  Most of the time when I pet her she
just walks away from me.  There is only one time of day when she really
wants affection:  the second I turn off the shower in the morning she runs
in demanding affection.  She'll humor me while I dry off but she whines
until I start petting her.  Sometimes she'll even sit in my lap for about
30 seconds before she realizes that she's not supposed to be so friendly.

I have a friend who tells me her cats wouldn't jump in her lap until they
were about 4 years old.  I'm not holding my breath in anticipation!

Pam

    That's true--they are all different, just like people.
    
    When I was growing up, we had a cat who just loved to sit on laps,
    and would stay there for hours if you let her.  She was very
    affectionate, and when held in your arms, she would put her paws
    right around your neck!
    
    My Billie, since the day I got her 9 years ago, is *not* a "lap
    cat".  She likes to follow me, and be where I am;  and will get
    as close to me as she can.  But get up on my lap?  Nooooooooo. 
    I can hold her in my arms, and walk with her, but if I sit down
    she gets fidgety.  
    
    She's a very loving cat;  she just shows it in her own way.
    
    Guess they are ALL like that!
    
    Jane 

    Spunky does *not* like to be held for long.  I can pick her up and
    walk with her, but to sit in my lap, forget it.  Zildjian, on the
    other hand, also waits for me in the morning cuz she likes to sit
    on my chest and purrrrrr in my ear.  I think she thinks I;m her
    mama.  She is also a heat seaker, and is probably coldest in the
    morning.  In the middle of the night, she wants to warm up in the
    worst way.  Sometimes I let her climb on me, and other times I pretend
    I am sleeping (meanie).  
    
    

    I have two cats, both brought up with the same amount of love and
    affection.  Lightning, the five year old, has always been a very
    loving, affectionate lap cat.  She even gives hugs and kisses. 
    She just has to see me sit down and she is in my lap purring away.
    
    Deja, the almost two year old, does not like to be picked up or
    held.  She will climb in my lap, especially when I am eating, or
    under my furry robe but she does not like to be held and cuddled.
    She does like to be around me and will race me from room to room
    and want to be with me when I am in the shower.  STRANGE CAT.
    
    They definitely have different personalities but thats why I love
    them both.  Life would be boring if everyone had the same personality.
    
    Sandi.
    

    Sounds just like Chauncey.  I also suspect that the breeder I got
    him from gave him very little attention, let alone love.  He was
    pretty sick when I took him home, which really seats my doubts.
    When I first got him home, he wouldn't let me near him.  He got
    all his affection from Honey, my then 4-year-old.  Now, Chauncey
    will cuddle with me in bed, and he will occasionally give me permission
    to pick him up and cuddle him for a few seconds.  But, I wouldn't
    exactly call him a "love bunny"!
    
    I watched a program about baby animals on PBS that claimed that
    if a baby animal was given lots of human interaction in the "formative
    weeks", they bonded more easily with their human parents.  But,
    just like any creature, his personality just might make him more
    aloof.  I can understand what you're feeling...
    
    Mary

    Its strange.... almost all the responses here (everyone w/2 cats)
    has said that one is very lovable and the other sometimes tolerates
    getting held or petted.  Its the same with RumTum.....he absolutely
    loves to sit on my lap and at nite sleeps on my (his) pillow and
    follows me around the house.  McCafferty on the other hand is somewhat
    lovable, will occassionally sit on my lap, but hates to be held
    or confined.  I got them both about the same time, at the same age
    and gave them both the same amount of love and attention.  I guess
    its just their own unique personalities.
    
    Happy Holidays to all!!!
    Erin

Midnight was a ferrel cat and to this day does not like to be cuddled.  What
he will allow is my son to carry him over his shoulder like a sack of
potatoes (now that's a sight -- 20 lb cat on a 6' guy) but he's the only
who he'll allow to do this.  Midnight will, however, sleep between my hubbie and
I under the electric blanket and his on MY pillow.  He'll sit at your
feet and let you scratch him by the hour but oh no, never in the lap.

Since we have other babies, they satisfy our need and we understand Midnight's 
needs,so everyone is happy.

		Marian

    
    My first kittie, Maggie, was extremely independant.  She was an
    indoor/outdoor cat and would come and go as she pleased.  Only could
    you pet her though if she was in the mood.  If you picked her up
    to give her hugs and kisses and she wasn't in the mood the would
    squirm to get down.  As she got older (she only lived to be 6 yrs
    old) she sat in peoples laps a little more.  She also never meowed
    unless she was famished. She was still loveable, cute and a lot of 
    fun to have around.
    
    My current feline, Mandy, is such a snugglebug and so vocal
    sometimes she drives you nuts.  
    You cannot sit down without her jumping into your lap.
    (Even when you are going to the bathroom!)  When we get home at
    night she meows at us until we pick her up and give her hugs and
    kisses; she immediately starts to purr and lick your fingers.
    She loves to sleep under the blankets, and in the morning if she
    is hungry she will lick your fingers until you wake up...as soon
    as she sees your eyes open she meows like crazy.  Oh,
    and if you are walking around and she gets tired of following you,
    she starts meowing until you pick her up and drape her across your
    shoulders.  That way she can see everything that is going on. 
    
    Anyway before I start rambling on and on about my snuggle bunny,
    you can see cats have very different personalities and traits.
    Some like to snuggle and some like to meow loudly!  There is no
    need to be concerned; you seem to be giving the kitty love and
    attention so the kitty will love you back in her own way.
              
    Have fun with your new baby!
    
    Suzanne

    Niko was a feral cat up until 12/6/87; He has been a lap cat for
    about a week now, and sleeps with me. All of my other five go through
    phases of being lap cats and not being lap cats. Currently, only
    Pip seems to be in NOLAP_CAT mode.
    
    It took Pip a couple of years before she felt comfortable enough
    to jump into my lap, but then, I adopted her as an adult, and from
    what I understand, she wasn't especially well treated by her former
    "humans".
    
    Deb

    I sometimes swoop down on Sweetie and pick him up and hold him.
    He very rarely stays put in this mode, about once a month.  The
    rest of the time he hops away after about 30 seconds.  But he purrs
    all the time I am holding him, so I think he actually likes it.
    He does love to flop on his back on the rug and have his tummy rubbed,
    though.
    

< Note 984.10 by VAXWRK::SKALTSIS "Deb" >
               -< not that I'm trying to make anyone jealous :-) >-

Thanks Deb - I needed to hear that! :-)  This from a person who *claims* that
Daisy loves to be held by her.  Sniff!

I must admit I get more cat affection visiting Deb's house than I get from
my two in a week.  

Pam