Conference misery::feline_v1

    Please, Holly, don't fret.  We have all felt this pain.  When I
    first found out that Indiana, my dear little kitten, had FIP
    (Feline Infectuous Peritonitus sp?) and was going to die a slow
    death, I was wracked out with guilt and pain, especially since 
    I had just lost Timothy to a car when he must have run across a
    street to see me after I had been out of town for the weekend.
    I kept thinking that Timmy must have heard me come back (and 
    cat-sitters just don't fill their need when you are gone) and 
    came running without looking first.  I felt both deaths were my
    fault, even though I had continually taught my cats to stay FAR
    away from the streets, much less go across it, and even though 
    Indiana was probably born with his disease since his littermate
    (who was owned by a friend) had it too.  What helped me was a book
    recommended to me by a customer I spoke with the day Timothy died
    which is called "Pet Loss" by Herbert A. Nieburg and Arlene Fischer.
    The publisher is Harper and Row.  It looks at all types of death
    and the guilt and pain we go through.  It also looks at our responses
    to illnesses and deals with putting a pet "to sleep" and even has
    a section on funeral possibilities.  Please look at this book.
    Perhaps it will help you as much as it helped me.
    
                     Carol

    
    	It is sad that the people who mistreat animals and should feel
    guilty usually have their head off in la-la land and couldn't care
    less, while the compassionate, caring people who do as good a job
    as can be done are the ones racked with guilt.  I guess this is
    a part of becomming a fully mature person: being able to put up
    a shell around certain emotions when logic says to, so they don't
    interfere with the rest of your life.  - Chris

    From your note it sounds like you really love cats.  Get another
    cat!  Get him/her vaccinated against FeLV, neutered, and keep
    him/her indoors when you can't supervise (since you've moved to
    the city), and you should have a better chance of having your
    friend live a long and healthy life.
    
    I lived without cats for about 5 years (between leaving home and
    having a place to keep a cat).  It's such a pleasure to have a
    pair of kitties now!  Although there are times.....
    
    --L

    Holly,
    
    I had fifteen cats in my life....and I loved them all - some
    of them lived long life and I had a period like yours when they
    were getting hit by cars - I lived in the country with cats who
    liked outdoor life.  It's very sad to lose a pet!  THey are your
    friends and when they die it hurts.  I too recommend that book
    from noter #1 I think it will help and also if you can get a cat
    in your apartment get another one!  I can't because I live in
    an apartment with no pets allowed that happens too!  Life isn't
    easy so don't give up when the going gets tough.....
    
    Good Luck,
    
    Bobbi
    

    Well, it's almost 2 1/2 years after the base note, and I finally
    had the courage to get a kitten.  The guilt didn't go away for a
    long time.  I made a decision that this would be an indoor cat.
    I got him from someone in this file, and he is a darling orange
    tabby with big green eyes!  I called him Obie (O.B. for "Orange
    Blossom Special", one of my favorite fiddle tunes).
    
    There is a work room (second bedroom) in my apartment that is huge,
    and it's his during the day.  There's no upholstered furniture in
    there, and I leave all his toys, food and litterbox for him.  He
    is always delighted to see me.  He is absolutely up to date on his
    shots!  I make vet appointments before I make my doctor appointments
    now.  If money is tight, it's going to be *me* who waits.
                                                  
    The vet couldn't believe that she had no trouble convincing me to
    vaccinate against FELV.  She said most people with indoor cats thought
    it was a waste of money.  I was also glad to hear that this vet
    insists on rabies shots for all cats, indoor or out.
    
    I'm really happy, but it took a long time to work through the feelings
    in the basenote.
    
    Holly

    
    
    	Congratulations on your new kitty!
    
    	Please tell us more about him, like how old he is and such!
    	How about an "Introducting Obie" Note!
    
    	Karen

    Well, I've been tied up with technical conferences for a few months,
    and just returned to read these questions from last November...sorry.
    
    Obie has turned into a beautiful, adolescent, orange tabby with
    wonderful stripes.  He is getting fixed next week on his 7-month
    'birthday'.
    
    He loves me dearly, but is very shy with strangers who come visit.
    If they try to play with him, he hides, but if they ignore him,
    he eventually creeps out and makes friends on his own.
    
    He has one funny habit -- whenever I step out of the shower, he
    is waiting for me.  He waits until I put on my blue terrycloth robe,
    and stand at the sink to start to untangle my hair, and then pounce!
    He's up on my shoulders, rubbing against my wet hair, and purring
    ecstatically!  The other day instead of stopping at the sink, I
    went out to answer the phone, and he stood by the phone in a rage
    scolding me for changing my routine.
                                        
    He sleeps with me, and walks back and forth across my chest (ouch!)
    when he wants me to wake up and play.  He also would like to kiss
    on the lips more, but I really don't care for that -- he keeps trying.
    
    I would love to have another cat, but they aren't allowed at all
    in my building.  I would feel pretty vulnerable with 2 because in
    my experience 2 make a lot of noise romping and playing.  I would
    hate to have them demand I get rid of the cat.  One is pretty quiet.
    If I can buy a condo some day, I will get another cat for sure!
    
    I'm really happy I have him -- we have a good time together.  It's
    a relief not to worry about what can happen to him outdoors...
    
    I just started him on Iams food, thanks to the vet, and he loves
    it!
    
    Holly

    Hi Holly!
    
    My Matzah does the exact same shower routing as Obie!  He meows
    at the bathroom door every morning when I finish with my shower.
    I let him in and he waits till I put the towel around my shoulders
    then jumps up and "marks" me all up.  When I brush my hair, I brush
    his 'hair' too, though he mostly likes to just rub his face in the
    brush.
    
    Donna

    Whenever we take showers, Mao hangs out on top of the shower doors!
    
    BTW Holly - do I understand that you have an "illegal cat".  That's
    a dangerous situation.  You could very well find yourself with a
    get-rid-of-the-cat-or-get-out situation.  Not a good idea.....
    When we were renting and had cats I found that many places that
    said NO PETS would agree to two spayed indoor cats.  I got them
    to put it in the lease.  Of course, many said NO too....I just didn't
    look at those places.  
      I realize you're in a tough situation if you've already brought
    the cat in without permission.  To go and ask now and get turned
    down puts you in a vulnerable spot.  Of course on the other hand,
    if you got permission, you wouldn't have to worry.
      Nancy DC

    I tried to get permission -- I found out from other tenants that
    they don't bother you about cats, but they also refuse to officially
    grant permission.  I think every apartment in my building has at
    least one cat, and a couple have dogs.  There are 550 units in the
    complex, so it felt pretty safe to get the one cat.
    
    But if they hassled me, I would move when my lease is up.  People
    told me that that's all they ever ask of the dog owners.
    
    I would never get rid of the cat to stay in the apartment!  And
    I won't let maintenance come in unless I'm home.  They really put
    up a stink about this, but I told them to tell me what days they
    might come, and I would just work at home those days, so they couldn't
    say much.  
    
    I agree, it's not at ideal situation, but there's some margin of
    safety in numbers...
    
    Holly

    Great Holly!  I'm really happy to hear you say that you would
    choose the cat over the apartment.  I've heard so many people
    say otherwise and I get really frustrated.  It sounds like your
    situation will be ok.  
      I would have chosen the same way - cats over apartment, no contest. 
    Alot of folks don't understand this, but look what they're missing!
      Good luck
       Nancy DC
    

Hello Holly,

I think that I would do the same thing.  I have been looking for an apartment
and the first thing I ask is, "Do you allow cats?".  TOP on my priority list!

Holly

p.s.  There's another Holly in this file!  Between you, me, and Karen Colling's
Holly kitty, this is absolutely amazing!

    
    Hello,
    
    I'm new to this conference. I've got a litte kitty since 3 week.
    He (Whisky) is 12 weeks old and very nice. Goes every where I go
    Sleep in my bed at night, if I'm in the kitchen he sits on my feets
    and when he's tired he comes to my lap or chest and want to be held
    when he shall sleep. He is very social.
    But, I work the whole day and wonder how he feels spending the
    day all alone. I have never had a cat before and don't know how
    they react and feel. I try to spend the evenings and weekends with
    him. I feel a little bit guilty leaving him alone for so many hours.
    Shall I get another cat or is it OK fort cats to be alone like that.
    What's your experience and knowledge about this.
    Tell, so I can stop feel like this or get another cat-friend for
    him.
    
    Marie

    Marie -
      Welcome to the conference!  Always glad to have another FELINER.
    
    I have four cats of my own, ranging in age from 1 yr to 11 1/2 yrs,
    PLUS one 2 yr old fostercat.
    
    Obviously I'm a big believer in getting my (indoor) cats some company.
    Now I'm not suggesting you run out and get four more cats here :-)
    
    I wanted to tell you that cats sleep a great deal of time, some
    of them up to 20 hrs a day.  So your little friend probably naps
    most of the time you're away.  Also, if there's a window through
    which she can watch birds or people or other animals, that will
    amuse her for hours. We put a bird feeder in the back yard and 
    we call the big window in the kitchen "Kitty TV" because the
    cats sit there for ours chattering at the "Bambi Contingent".
    (the birds and squirrels that come to eat from the feeder)
    
    Personally I think it is a good idea to get your cat a companion
    - especially now while she's young.  She'll adapt better to a
    housemate than if you wait until she's an adult.   There may be
    some hissing at first, but don't fret and don't intervene unless
    they are seriously hurting each other....cats can make an incredible
    amount of noise - you'd think they were killing each other - but
    not do any real damage.

    I think its good for them to have playmates - the get more exercise
    and the contact of grooming each other and sleeping together is
    good for them.  Besides, there's so many wonderful kitties out there
    that need a home....
    
      Let me know what you decide.
       Nancy DC

    If you can get her a playmate then do it.  I have just the one too!
    
    I have 2 black kitties that need homes.  you can read note 2470  
    for the information on them.
    
    If I could have done it over, I would have had 2 cats, however
    Nippa is very set in her ways and is not too happy with companions.
    
    Good luck in your decision, and if your interested in the kitties,
    drop a line!
    
    Michele

    Hi, Marie, welcome to the conference. Are you in Stockholm (Sweden)?
    If so, she's not going to be able to give your kittens a home, Michele!
    I have Swedish cousins (distant ones), we went on a visit to Sweden
    last year to meet them. They live in Tjorn.
    
    I agree with Nancy, if you are going to get another cat it is good
    to do it while your kitten is still young and adaptable. When we
    got Sura, Kimi loved him instantly. Kimi had been lonely at home
    by himself. Kimi was 16 weeks old, and Sura was 12 weeks old. Sura
    hissed at Kimi, but it only took them half an hour to become friends
    (we were very lucky!).
    
    Shayne (New Zealand)

    
    
    Hello, I'm feeling happier now after all your advice I read the note's
    this morning. Michele, I'm sorry I live in Stockholm so I can't have 
    your kitten! And he is indoor only. He sometimes join me for picknick
    in the park next to me or lay in the sun by the lake, and he seems to
    like it.
    
    I decided to get a companion for him, maybe it's more work for me but
    I want the best for him. 
    Especially today when I walked home for lunch and to keep him company
    as much as possible. He was so I dont now the english word but, he
    wanted to be held and kissed all the time. When I stood by the sink
    to fix the meal he insisted on sitting on my shoulder and like that a
    all the time. So, time to go back to work, I putted on my shoes and 
    whoooom he sat by the door looking at me. It feels!!!!!!
    That made me finally decide two cats.
    How about space for them, I have a one-room apartment ( and will have
    for one year).???!!
    And when Whisky is a he, should a get a girl or boy, hints????
    
    
    Regards,  Marie

	
    Oops.....thats the trouble w/ notes.....I forget that there are
    others who participate that arn't from around here....when noting
    makes it seem like everyone is right next door.
    
    ;^)
    

    Re: 18
    
    I have 2 7/8 cats in a small 2 bedroom cottage, and the second
    bedroom is closed off since its the "attic" and not safe for
    cats.  The 7/8 is a kitty who was dumped in this neighborhood
    a few months ago and is moving in more and more.  I would think 
    2 pusses would be happy in your one room apartment.  It's amazing
    how many pusses can fit in when they ar well taken care of.
    

Hi,

I was at the vets yesterday with my favorite cat (one of six!) and saw a very
beautiful tri-colored, spayed female. She's two years old, has had all her
shots, and is extremely friendly and loving. Why is she there? Her owner is
boarding her until he can no longer afford it or someone adopts her because
his wife is afraid she will hurt their new-born baby. She saw the cat sleeping
in the crib one day.
My suggestion would be to keep the cat out of the room if it's a worry. But
the owner's wife insisted on getting rid of her. Being an animal lover, the
husband couldn't put her down and is trying to pay for her board a week at a
time. 
I saw this kitty and she is beautiful. I would love to have her but six cats
and four big dogs are all we can handle. Besides, my vet bill when I pick
up Muffy will be between $150-250. Please contact me through this conference
or send me mail at PROSE::BULKA if you can help. This beautiful cat is living
on borrowed time.